Archive for the ‘Jeff Sessions’ Category

Fraidy-Cat Republicans

Friday, November 20th, 2009

According to Republicans, it’s way too dangerous for Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder to try terrorists in federal courts. And that seems just a wee bit odd. Because the 2002 trial of Zacarias Moussaoui, an al Qaeda terrorist often referred to as the “20th 9/11 hijacker,” was conducted in federal court on U.S. soil. And it went rather well — even Rudy Giuliani loved it!

Yet Rudy and his Republican ilk now seem terrified at the very thought of trying alleged 9/11 terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
in a New York City federal courthouse.

So, did the terrorists win between 2002 and now? Have Republicans turned yellow? Or is this simply another case of GOP hypocrisy?

Fraidy-Cat Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A terrorist trial in fed court
Under Bush met with pride and support.
No GOP sneers —
Just Republican cheers.
But a Dem do the same? Must abort!

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”

Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.

I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.

Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies (Updated)

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee!

If I were British, I’d probably write this song parody:

Gitmo Prison, here I come.
Need a doc to check my bum.

But instead, I’ll have to settle for a limerick:

Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m moving to Gitmo real soon
Cuz I’m told inmate health care’s a boon.
Colonoscopies free
After fifty-five. Whee!
So please lock me up, Sen. Buffoon!