Archive for the ‘Tea Parties’ Category

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please don’t tell me that Boehner’s atoned
For his sins and for all he’s condoned—
That his leaving his job
Is a sacrifice (Sob!)
For the good of our land. Are you stoned?

Because all Boehner’s done is postpone
The government shut-down he’s sown,
And emboldened the loons
Who are anarchist goons—
Anti-government nuts to the bone.

So kindly don’t ask me to weep
For a man who will soon surely reap
Lots of wealth from connections
(While dodging elections!)
My retort would be something you’d bleep.

Kevin McCarthy Angles For A Promotion (Limerick)

Monday, September 28th, 2015

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy is so eager to become Speaker, he’s been making all sorts of promises to Republican party extremists:

Sounding stubbornly tough’s a no-brainer
When campaigning for Speaker, post-Boehner.
You must promise to hew
To each wingnutty view,
And from compromise be an abstainer.

That’s the tack that McCarthy has taken.
No concessions! No deals! He’s unshaken!
He’ll be tough on Obama,
Squash “squishes” with drama.
So if Kev gets that gig, hope’s forsaken.

What’s Next Post-Boehner? (Limerick)

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

Will Boehner’s departure appease
The Tea Party’s wingnut-disease?
Or will it embolden
And make them feel golden–
Resolved to bring all to their knees.

Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

How’s this for a non-shocker: Ousted House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) is headed to Wall Street. Cantor is “joining investment bank Moelis & Co. as vice chairman and managing director” and “stands to earn $3.4 million in cash and stocks as a signing bonus, with $1.2 million guaranteed in just his first year.”

Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though he lost to a Tea Party ranter,
Please feel free to stop weeping for Cantor,
Cuz he’s striking it rich.
Ain’t his life just a bitch?
Wall Street moolah is quite the enchanter.

Double Dactyl For Eric Cantor

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

Eric Cantor gave his House farewell address today. And that gives me all the excuse I need to post this non-limerick of mine, which I entered in the Style Invitational’s recent double dactyl contest:

Beaterdy Featerdy,
GOP Leader E.
Cantor’s unseated and
Out of a job.

Pundits are shocked by his
Ouster by Brat of the
Tea Party mob.

If you’re not familiar with the double dactyl, I summarize their rules here.

And, by the way, I lost. You can find the winners’ list here.

No, Eric Can’t (Limerick

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

Amazing! Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was unexpectedly trounced in his primary by conservative Tea Party challenger David Brat.

No, Eric Can’t (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What a GOP upset! Oh my!
Eric Cantor was beat by a guy,
Who’s a Tea-Party Brat,
Underfunded, at that.
There are some things that money can’t buy.

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Tuesday’s a big primary day:

Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.

So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.

Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)

Saturday, October 19th, 2013

How does John Boehner explain away and excuse his role in the government shutdown?

“I got overrun, that’s what happened.”

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What is Boehner’s excuse? He’s got none,
Meekly claiming he “got overrun.”
He could scarcely be weaker;
His job as the Speaker
Is leading — he’s left it undone.

Doomed Limerick

Thursday, October 17th, 2013

The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.

Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.

Goodbye Limerick For Michele Bachmann

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann has decided not to seek a 5th Congressional term. So it’s time for a goodbye limerick:

Goodbye Limerick For Michele Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Michele Bachmann, you’ll surely be missed.
You’ve provided such humor mill grist.
But we mockers are blessed
With a huge treasure chest
Of wingnuts at whom to get pissed.

Louie Gohmert is tops on that list.
Ted Cruz and Steve King still exist.
So we’ve fodder galore;
Finding humor’s no chore
With a party like yours in our midst.

State of Embarrassment (Limerick)

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Note to Sarah Palin and Ted (Tea Party Express, Texas) Cruz, a would-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate: Just because Texas and Kansas both end in “as” doesn’t make them the same state:

Sarah Palin called with a tip that Cruz was the man for the GOP.

Thank goodness the Cruz campaign directed a robocall to my office of the Topeka Capital-Journal.

Getting meaningful political advice from Palin was a treat.

“Hello, Texas!” she blasted into my ear. “I’m Sarah Palin.”

State of Embarrassment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, when trying to aid
Mr. Cruz, all your robocalls played
On phones through the state
Of Kansas ain’t great,
When it’s Texans you aim to persuade.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This undoubtedly sounds naive, but I keep expecting the GOP to disavow Florida Rep. Allen West’s insane lies. (The guy makes your average Birther look nearly normal.) But so far, it hasn’t happened.

West’s claim that up to 80 U.S. Congressional Democrats are Communists is merely the latest example of West’s nutcase rantings. And my search for evidence that Republicans are repudiating his pernicious nonsense yielded nothing but an angry complaint and denial from Libero Della Piana, a vice-chairman of the Communist Party USA.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Rep. Allen West
Invents scandalous falsehoods with zest.
His mad claims don’t compute,
Yet his party stays mute —
His lies thus implicitly blessed.

Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost feel sorry for Christine O’Donnell. No, I’m not talking about O’Donnell’s paltry book sales. I’m referring to her being bigfooted by Sarah Palin out of an appearance at a Tea Party of America rally.

Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin’s a very spoiled brat.
To other gal pols she says, “Scat!”
Prima donna bar none —
She would bar ev’ry one,
Looking down from her very high hat.

Paul Ryan, Educator???

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

The debt ceiling absolutely, positively must be raised to avoid a fiscal meltdown, and the Republican leadership knows it. But they’re saddled with a bunch of ignorant, “Tea Party” Congress-critters whose votes they desperately need.

Ironically, the job of educating them about debt ceiling realities has fallen to Paul Ryan, the Prince of Budget Misinformation.

Here’s what I’m wondering: The “Tea Party” nuts bought Paul Ryan’s lies. Will they believe him when he speaks the truth?

Paul Ryan, Educator???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the GOP leadership’s tryin’
To get Tea Party votes, they ain’t buyin’,
Cuz they’re itchin’ to spike
Any debt ceiling hike.
Now the burden to school them’s on Ryan.

Intelligence Redesigned

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

I didn’t think Republicans could surprise me anymore. But I must confess to being stunned by Rep. Michele “Blabbermouth” Bachmann’s appointment by Boehner to the secretive House Intelligence Committee.

And it seems even Republican insiders share my astonishment:

Bachmann once suggested that Congress should investigate whether Democratic lawmakers were pro- or anti-America, and she’s been a cable TV favorite because she’s known for colorful sound bites.

On her Facebook page, Tea Party icon Bachmann said:

As a mother of five biological children and twenty-three foster children I pledge to do whatever I need to do to keep your family, my family, and the United States safe from harm.

I feel safer already. But I still had to write this limerick:

Intelligence Redesigned
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I don’t normally make much ado
‘Bout committee appointments. Do you?
But Intelligence? Bachmann?
That’s really a shock men.
I fear for its plunging IQ.

Run, Sarah, Run

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.

That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.

And now, my latest limerick:

Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

By now you’ve surely heard about Delaware Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s astonishing screw-up in her debate against opponent Chris Coons. I’m speaking, of course, of her First Amendment gaffe. In her now infamous exchange (in a law school, yet) Tea-Partier O’Donnell “appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.”

That brings me to my latest Limerick:

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debating our Fed Constitution
Can be tough when your grasp’s Lilliputian:
Hence O’Donnell’s conflation
Of church and our nation.
Her savvy could use evolution.

(Here’s my previous limerick about Christine O’Donnell.)

Open Limerick To The Anti-Government Crowd

Monday, October 11th, 2010

It seems the “keep the government away from my Medicare” crowd is even larger and more confused than we thought:

A new study by The Washington Post, the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Harvard University shows that most Americans who say they want more limited government also call Social Security and Medicare “very important.” They want Washington to be involved in schools and to help reduce poverty. Nearly half want the government to maintain a role in regulating health care.

That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Open Limerick To The Anti-Government Crowd
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You folks who cry out for less gov
Have lots of gov programs you love:
You think Medicare’s great
And you’d surely berate
Any pol who gave SS a shove.

You hate taxes for highways and schools,
But you don’t want your kids taught by fools.
And you’re quick to unload
When your bridges corrode.
Please wake up — don’t be Tea Party tools.

Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell

Monday, October 11th, 2010

Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Christine, so I see that your pitch
Is to claim that you aren’t a witch.
It’s not witches I mind,
But your viewpoints unkind:
Anti-gay! Anti-feminist! Bitch!

Limerick Ode To Carl Paladino

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

I’m a liberal New York Democrat, and I’ll say one thing for Carl Paladino — the guy has chutzpah. After his bizarre, near-violent attack on the New York Post’s Fred Dicker last week, he had the audacity to describe gubernatorial opponent Andrew Cuomo as “out of control.”

Apparently this is how an in-control candidate behaves:

1. Accuses his opponent (Andrew Cuomo) of cheating on wife.

2. Accuses Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post of bias because it didn’t ask Cuomo about wife-cheating.

3. Menaces and comes dangerously close to physically harming the old, frail-looking Fred Dicker because Dicker had the audacity to ask if he had any evidence that Cuomo cheated on his wife.

4. Promises to produce wife-cheating evidence at the appropriate time.

5. Denies that he promised to produce wife-cheating evidence.

6. After a video of his bullying, abusive, and near-violent attack on Dicker draws a negative response and a loose cannon perception, even among Republicans, tells the Wall Street Journal he wants to focus on the issues.

Limerick Ode To Carl Paladino
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paladino is always irate,
Spreading venom and anger and hate.
He claims to be able,
But seems quite unstable.
If he wins, we are screwed — no debate.