Posts Tagged ‘Debate Limerick’

Curtains for Jeb? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

Who should quit after last night’s debate?
It was Jebbie’s worst showing, to date,
A performance dismaying.
His fans must be weighing
Their option to dump his dead weight.

Jeb’s attack on pal Rubio failed,
And at Marco’s retort, Jeb just flailed.
Then smooth sailing for Marco.
From Jeb? Not a spark! Oh,
Jeb’s run has been fully derailed.

Yet Another Open Limerick To Jim Webb

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

Remember the guy who did nothing but complain about being cheated on time at the Democratic debate? He’s actually threatening to run as an independent.

Dear Senator Webb, get a grip!
In the polls you are barely a blip.
You’re so far from ascendant,
A run “independent”
Is nuts. Here’s a tip: You’ll get zip.

Open Limerick To Jim Webb

Sunday, October 18th, 2015

Dear Jim Webb, we are sick of your kvetching.
Your wretched behavior ain’t fetching.
When you whine about rigging
Debates, you are digging
Your grave — also triggering retching.

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 14th, 2015

Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:

I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.

Trump To The Rescue (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

Headline of the Day: “Donald Trump Will Live-Tweet CNN’s Democratic Debate.”

Will the Dem debate generate heat?
Will someone go down in defeat?
Well if points aren’t scored,
And you start to get bored,
You can always watch Donald Trump tweet.

Yet Another GOP Debate Limerick

Friday, September 18th, 2015

After yesterday’s 3-verser about the 2nd GOP debate, you’d think I’d be done. But apparently not:

How I loathe the “He kept us safe” line.
Jeb’s revived it. How dare he — that swine!
Silly me — I’d have sworn
9-11 was born
On Dub’s watch. Were we safe? I’d say nein.

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)

Friday, September 18th, 2015

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.

All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.

Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”

Pre-Debate Limerick

Wednesday, September 16th, 2015

At this ev’ning’s political rumble
I wonder who’ll fumble or crumble.
Will low numbers like “1″
Make some feel quite undone,
Or be freeing? (At “1″ they can’t tumble.)

Limerick Ode To This Wednesday’s CNN Debate

Monday, September 14th, 2015

This Wednesday on CNN’s stage,
Ten guys and one gal will engage
In attempts to gain ground.
But chagrin will abound;
Most are bound to be Trumped. Feel their rage!

Pre-Debate Limerick

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

The Presidential Debate at Hofstra University, in Hempstead, Long Island, New York, is coming up in just over three hours. I don’t know about the candidates, or Candy Crowley, the moderator, but I’m a nervous wreck.

(On a personal note, I spent many hundreds of hours playing the oboe at Hofstra’s concert hall, which once was home base to the Nassau Symphony Orchestra.)

Pre-Debate Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Which lies will Mitt tell us tonight,
While disguising the fact he’s far right?
Will the Prez call Mitt out
When he fibs in this bout?
He had better. The polls are damn tight.

Post-Debate Open Limerick To President Obama

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

Post-Debate Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Barack, did you even prepare?
Cuz debating is war — yes, it’s guerre.
Mitt spewed lie after lie,
While you simply stood by,
Ineffective and weak — barely there.

Haiku of the Day:

Mendacious Romney
bewilders Obama–
lies more than usual.

Mitt’s Debate Challenge (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

So, is everyone looking forward to Romney’s zingers tomorrow night?

Mitt’s Debate Challenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mitt, it just isn’t enough
To zing and critique and act tough.
Want to gain voter-ardor?
Your job is much harder:
Prove you’re better and have the “right stuff.”

Limerick Ode To Ill-Tempered Romney

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

According to the New York Times, Mitt Romney is memorizing debate “zingers” which, he hopes, will goad Obama into churlishness or smugness.

Mitt’s also practicing “composure,” which strikes me as a good idea, in light of Romney’s apparent anger management problem. On the other hand, perhaps Romney is just a spoiled-brat CEO, who can’t quite break his corporate temper-tantrum habit.

In any event, I’m looking forward to Romney losing his cool at this Wednesday’s presidential debate.

Limerick Ode To Ill-Tempered Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Does Romney have trouble with rage,
If a questioner’s not on his page?
When he’s challenged, his voice
Gets an edge that ain’t choice.
This should kill on the prez debate stage.

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Republicans are feigning horror at the Ted Kennedy tribute video played at the Democratic National Convention. It seems using Teddy v. Mitt debate footage that makes Romney look pathetic, somehow dishonors the deceased Ted Kennedy. Yeah … right.

Here’s RNC Chairman Reince Priebus on Twitter: “Classless Dems use tribute video of deceased Ted Kennedy to attack Mitt Romney.”

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reince Priebus, Republican knave,
Disapproves of how Dem pols behave:
They showed Ted debate Mitt!!!
Angry tweet — what a twit!
Just St. Reagan can speak from the grave.

Limerick Ode To Newt’s Latest Temper Tantrum

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

Newt Gingrich seemed way off his game at last night’s Florida debate. And at first, I attributed this to Mitt Romney’s new, improved debating style.

But Newt apparently needs the adrenalin rush that comes with cheers and applause. And last night’s NBC debate rules precluded such a rush: Audience feedback was limited, in the interest of using the time for actual debating.

So now Newt (always on the outlook for another excuse to bash the media) is petulantly threatening to boycott any debate that limits the audience’s free speech:

Mr. Gingrich’s performance in the debate in Tampa on Monday night was far more muted. Critics noted that he seemed to be off his game. The National Journal, which co-hosted the NBC debate, compared Gingrich to “a stand-up comedian whose routine suffers without echoes of laughter egging him on.”

Mr. Gingrich clearly noticed something was off, too. “We’re going to serve notice on future debates,” he told Fox. “We’re just not going to allow that to happen. That’s wrong. The media doesn’t control free speech. People ought to be allowed to applaud if they want to.”

Hmmm…., I wonder how Newt feels about boos.

Limerick Ode To Newt’s Latest Temper Tantrum
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No cheering at last night’s debate!
This has Gingrich quite peeved and irate.
He says cheers from the crowd
Simply must be allowed.
Without cheers, will Newt Gingrich deflate?

Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

You’ve probably heard that Rick Perry’s idiotic debate remarks, claiming Turkey is run by Islamic terrorists, led to a diplomatic incident. But did you know it inspired George W. Bush to send Rick Perry this limerick?

Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Rick, I’ve been meaning to write,
Cuz I watch you debate with delight.
And your Turkey faux pas:
What a laugh — Ha! Ha! Ha!
Thanks for making me look really bright!

Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

In the wake of Mitt Romney’s misplaced $10,000 bet, the “Intrade political futures market shows Mitt Romney’s chances of winning the GOP presidential nomination dropping to 40% today, while Newt Gingrich’s chances have surged to 37%.”

Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt’s ten-thousand dollar faux pas
Makes Republican voters say, “Bah!”
So betting is strong
That Romney’s gone wrong,
And that Newt will get voters’ “Hurrah!”

Gunning for Gingrich (Limerick)

Saturday, December 10th, 2011

Tonight’s Drake University, Iowa Republican Presidential Debate, hosted by ABC News and moderated by Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopoulos, looks to be pivotal:

Gunning For Gingrich (Limerick)

They’re gunning for Gingrich tonight.
Opponents are poised for a fight.
The GOP’s freaking:
No more are they seeking
Non-Romney, with Newt as their plight.

Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

A Trump-moderated Republican debate? Even Karl Rove says it’s a terrible idea.

Damn! Me — agreeing with Karl Rove. That’s seriously scary!

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney did the classy thing, for once, adding his name to the list of candidates who’ve declined the Trump Debate Invite. So far, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Romney have declined to participate, while Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have accepted.

Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debate moderation’s an art,
And practitioners need to be smart,
Diplomatic, well versed—
In the topic immersed.
Donald Trump? Not just bad. Off the chart!

UPDATE: Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has come out against the Donald Trump debate, citing as his reason Trump’s ongoing flirtation with an independent run for president. Additionally Perry has now declined his debate invitation.

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Rick Perry’s apparent solution to his inability to debate seems to be: Avoid debates!

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A message from Perry’s team states
He might skip the remaining debates.
Stay in hiding and pout
When you can’t win a bout?
More cratering poll news awaits.