Posts Tagged ‘Debate Limerick’

Delusional Donald (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 9th, 2016

Will Delusional Donald debate?
Well of course, so folks see that he’s “great.”
Though he plays hard to get
With “conditions,” I’ll bet
He can’t wait; he’s so sure of his fate.

Donald’s Already Lying About Debates (Limerick)

Saturday, July 30th, 2016

I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.

GOP Debates, Then And Now (2-Verse Limerick)

Monday, March 7th, 2016

Campaign debates used to be boring,
And could lead to some serious snoring;
As the pols prattled on
Going hither and … yawn…
I was known to nod off on the flooring.

But debates are quite diff’rent this year;
On the GOP side you will hear
Words that won’t let you sleep
And just might make you weep,
As the bullies hurl slurs, leer, and sneer.

GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 5th, 2016

I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:

Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.

Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.

Limerick Ode To Chris “Suicide Bomber” Christie

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Chris Christie’s not feeling the bliss.
For while mauling that pup
Christie blew himself up;
His reward in New Hampshire? Big diss!

Open Limerick To Martin O’Malley

Sunday, December 20th, 2015

Dear Martin O’Malley, I snickered
And wondered, “Could Martin be liquored?”
Cuz your pre-canned remark,
A don’t-bicker-here bark,
Made no sense because nobody’d bickered.

Note: Here’s the post-debate sub-headline: “O’Malley Bashes Bickering During A Moment Of Peace.”

Curtains for Jeb? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

Who should quit after last night’s debate?
It was Jebbie’s worst showing, to date,
A performance dismaying.
His fans must be weighing
Their option to dump his dead weight.

Jeb’s attack on pal Rubio failed,
And at Marco’s retort, Jeb just flailed.
Then smooth sailing for Marco.
From Jeb? Not a spark! Oh,
Jeb’s run has been fully derailed.

Yet Another Open Limerick To Jim Webb

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

Remember the guy who did nothing but complain about being cheated on time at the Democratic debate? He’s actually threatening to run as an independent.

Dear Senator Webb, get a grip!
In the polls you are barely a blip.
You’re so far from ascendant,
A run “independent”
Is nuts. Here’s a tip: You’ll get zip.

Open Limerick To Jim Webb

Sunday, October 18th, 2015

Dear Jim Webb, we are sick of your kvetching.
Your wretched behavior ain’t fetching.
When you whine about rigging
Debates, you are digging
Your grave — also triggering retching.

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 14th, 2015

Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:

I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.

Trump To The Rescue (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015

Headline of the Day: “Donald Trump Will Live-Tweet CNN’s Democratic Debate.”

Will the Dem debate generate heat?
Will someone go down in defeat?
Well if points aren’t scored,
And you start to get bored,
You can always watch Donald Trump tweet.

Yet Another GOP Debate Limerick

Friday, September 18th, 2015

After yesterday’s 3-verser about the 2nd GOP debate, you’d think I’d be done. But apparently not:

How I loathe the “He kept us safe” line.
Jeb’s revived it. How dare he — that swine!
Silly me — I’d have sworn
9-11 was born
On Dub’s watch. Were we safe? I’d say nein.

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)

Friday, September 18th, 2015

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.

All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.

Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”

Pre-Debate Limerick

Wednesday, September 16th, 2015

At this ev’ning’s political rumble
I wonder who’ll fumble or crumble.
Will low numbers like “1″
Make some feel quite undone,
Or be freeing? (At “1″ they can’t tumble.)

Limerick Ode To This Wednesday’s CNN Debate

Monday, September 14th, 2015

This Wednesday on CNN’s stage,
Ten guys and one gal will engage
In attempts to gain ground.
But chagrin will abound;
Most are bound to be Trumped. Feel their rage!

Pre-Debate Limerick

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

The Presidential Debate at Hofstra University, in Hempstead, Long Island, New York, is coming up in just over three hours. I don’t know about the candidates, or Candy Crowley, the moderator, but I’m a nervous wreck.

(On a personal note, I spent many hundreds of hours playing the oboe at Hofstra’s concert hall, which once was home base to the Nassau Symphony Orchestra.)

Pre-Debate Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Which lies will Mitt tell us tonight,
While disguising the fact he’s far right?
Will the Prez call Mitt out
When he fibs in this bout?
He had better. The polls are damn tight.

Post-Debate Open Limerick To President Obama

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

Post-Debate Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Barack, did you even prepare?
Cuz debating is war — yes, it’s guerre.
Mitt spewed lie after lie,
While you simply stood by,
Ineffective and weak — barely there.

UPDATE:
Haiku of the Day:

Mendacious Romney
bewilders Obama–
lies more than usual.

Mitt’s Debate Challenge (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

So, is everyone looking forward to Romney’s zingers tomorrow night?

Mitt’s Debate Challenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mitt, it just isn’t enough
To zing and critique and act tough.
Want to gain voter-ardor?
Your job is much harder:
Prove you’re better and have the “right stuff.”

Limerick Ode To Ill-Tempered Romney

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

According to the New York Times, Mitt Romney is memorizing debate “zingers” which, he hopes, will goad Obama into churlishness or smugness.

Mitt’s also practicing “composure,” which strikes me as a good idea, in light of Romney’s apparent anger management problem. On the other hand, perhaps Romney is just a spoiled-brat CEO, who can’t quite break his corporate temper-tantrum habit.

In any event, I’m looking forward to Romney losing his cool at this Wednesday’s presidential debate.

Limerick Ode To Ill-Tempered Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Does Romney have trouble with rage,
If a questioner’s not on his page?
When he’s challenged, his voice
Gets an edge that ain’t choice.
This should kill on the prez debate stage.

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Republicans are feigning horror at the Ted Kennedy tribute video played at the Democratic National Convention. It seems using Teddy v. Mitt debate footage that makes Romney look pathetic, somehow dishonors the deceased Ted Kennedy. Yeah … right.

Here’s RNC Chairman Reince Priebus on Twitter: “Classless Dems use tribute video of deceased Ted Kennedy to attack Mitt Romney.”

Reince Priebus — Etiquette Expert? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reince Priebus, Republican knave,
Disapproves of how Dem pols behave:
They showed Ted debate Mitt!!!
Angry tweet — what a twit!
Just St. Reagan can speak from the grave.