Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category

Trump’s Female Sycophants (Limerick)

Sunday, February 11th, 2018

“Why Won’t The Women Walk Out Of The Trump White House?” ( A good question from Nicole Belle of Crooks and Liars.)

Why are women still working for Trump?
His team’s a misogynist dump.
Yet they stay and defend him
And clearly can’t mend him.
Seems ambition trumps all in that sump.

Trump’s “Due Process” Views (Limerick)

Saturday, February 10th, 2018

Trump’s bemoaning an ex-staffer’s plight:
The lack of due process ain’t right!
Rob denies he abused
Those three gals. The accused
Rates due process, if male and if white.

Rand Paul’s Deficit Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Thursday, February 8th, 2018

Paul is feigning a “principled stand”
Against deficits, bolst’ring his brand.
But his vote to cut tax
Helped the deficits wax;
His is really a “Don’t Spend” demand.

Trump’s Ego On Parade (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018

“Grand” Parade — Donald’s latest crusade,
Where our milit’ry might is displayed.
It’s to “honor the troops,”
He claims. Oh, but OOPS!”
It’s a TRUMP-Ego-BOOSTING charade.

Trump v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 6th, 2018

NYT Headline: “In Russia Inquiry, Lawyers Tell Trump to Refuse Mueller Interview”

Trump’s lawyers, to no one’s surprise,
Gave him counsel which many think wise:
When Mueller says “Talk,”
Just refuse. Simply balk…
Because Trump can’t resist telling lies.

A Trumpian Hero (Limerick)

Monday, February 5th, 2018

On Twitter the Donald has writ,
Praising Nunes for “courage” and “grit.”
He’s a “Hero,” Trump adds.
(Donald’s so fond of cads!)
Arrest BOTH men and DO NOT ACQUIT!

Something Else Trump Has In Common With Putin? (Limerick)

Monday, February 5th, 2018

To Donald, Dem-clapping’s his due.
Much ado must be made, or he’ll stew.
Now he’s flapping his jaws,
Claiming treason because
Dems denied him applause. Let him sue!

The Devil In The Oval? (Limerick)

Friday, February 2nd, 2018

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
Now it’s down “666,”
But Trump’s got a fix:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

*****
Alternative Version:

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
With a huge diminution,
Here’s Donald’s solution:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

How’d He Do? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Donald’s SOTU’s about to be aired.
You can skip it, cuz here’s how he fared:
There was almost no drool,
And he wasn’t too cruel.
“Presidential,” they’ll say. “He prepared.”

Mitch v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

One of today’s many annoying headlines: “McConnell Sees No Need to Protect Mueller From President Trump”

No need to shield Mueller, says Mitch.
No chance he’ll be tossed in a ditch.
Undermine him? You jest!
No one has such a quest!
And if something goes wrong? Life’s a bitch!

Does Trump’s SOTU Matter? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Does it matter what Donald Trump says
When he gives his first SOTU as prez?
Why bother to glean
What his latest words mean?
There’s more substance and truth in a Pez.

Trump v. May (Limerick)

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

The Donald won’t go for a stay
In the nation that’s governed by May,
Cuz she can’t guaranty
He’ll be Trump-protest-free.
How I envy Ms. May’s great UK!

A Prison Awaits Him (Limerick)

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

Trump tried to dump Mueller and failed —
Yet another obstruction unveiled.
How much proof will it take
Till his allies foresake
Him, and Donald is finally jailed?

No Sympathy For Melania! (Limerick)

Friday, January 26th, 2018

I don’t care if Melania’s sad,
And so what if her marriage is bad!
She married for money
And status. That “honey”
Was aware she was wedding a cad.

Shutdown Deal — Schumer Cave? Or Strategery? (Limerick)

Monday, January 22nd, 2018

A promise from Mitch makes me twitch.
Who would bet against glitches or hitch?
Yes a DACA vote pledge
Is worth caca; a hedge
Could turn Schumer from champ to Mitch-bitch.

A Tale of Dueling Headlines

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

“Stormy Daniels Once Claimed She Spanked Donald Trump With a Forbes Magazine”

“Trump’s Net Worth Tanks On New Forbes List Of Richest Americans”

In other words, Trump has been both literally and figuratively spanked by Forbes.

Trump v. Kelly (Limerick)

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

Trump is mad at John Kelly. Here’s why:
Re the Donald’s campaign, he let fly
Quite a wall-vow affront;
It’s surprisingly blunt.
“Uninformed,” though, sounds better than “lie.”

Trump Aced The Test? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 17th, 2018

Donald brags about doing “the best”
On the MoCA exam. You impressed?
This raises to mind
Just one question, I find:
Could a houseplant fare well on that test?

Our Racist-in-Chief (Limerick)

Sunday, January 14th, 2018

My beef: We’ve a Racist-in-Chief.
We’re his fiefdom; bald lies, his motif.
Trump’s supremacist brand
Showers grief on our land.
Need relief! May his reign here be brief!

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Saturday, January 13th, 2018

Dear Donald, your work ethic’s poor;
You’re a lazy-ass bum to your core.
But the harm’s so widespread
When you DO work, instead…
Kindly loaf and go golfing much more.