Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category

Trump Tweets Out Notre-Dame Fire-Fighting Advice (Limerick)

Monday, April 15th, 2019

Apparently, Trump is all-knowing;
“I’m an expert,” he’s constantly crowing.
Be it fires or war,
Don’t ask pros; Trump knows more!
For the Donald’s sole gift is horn-blowing.

Bracing For Barr’s Mueller Report Whitewash (Limerick)

Monday, April 15th, 2019

Headline: “Mueller Report Coming on Thursday”

Though the “Mueller Report” soon’s a-coming,
Many Sharpies are busily humming
With redactions galore;
A “blackwash” full-bore!
Thanks to Barr, through a sham we’ll be thumbing.

Open Limerick To William Barr

Sunday, April 14th, 2019

Dear Bill Barr, you have gone very far,
And your rep once was well above par.
But like most who have deigned
To join Trump, you’ve been stained;
Tainted, marred by a sycophant’s scar.

Mayor Pete v. Pence (Limerick)

Friday, April 12th, 2019

There’s a Mike Pence/Pete Buttigieg feud
Cuz the Veep is an anti-gay dude,
Who pretends to be pious
To justify bias…
As he praises a Prez, crude and lewd.

Limerick Ode To Roger Stone’s Woes (Two-Verse)

Friday, April 12th, 2019

Headline: “Roger Stone’s woes: He’s broke. Donald Trump doesn’t call. And his wife broke her ankle.”

Poor Roger — he claims that he’s broke.
Are we s’posed to feel bad for that bloke?
He’s been gagged and is under
Indictment; his blunder
Is breaking the law. What a joke!

Roger Stone also whines that he misses
Good pal Donald. (No calls, hugs, or kisses?)
What a horror he paints;
Roger’s full of complaints.
But I find it quite easy to diss his.

Trump’s Fiendish, Foolish, Fullness Ploy (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 9th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Says the U.S. Is ‘Full.’ Much of the Nation Has the Opposite Problem.”

Says the Donald, the U.S. is “full!”
As always, Trump’s trying to pull
A fast one, to stir
Up his base and deter
Immigration — Trump’s typical bull.

Kirstjen Nielsen, Buh-Bye! (Limerick)

Monday, April 8th, 2019

Donald’s infamous Child-Caging Queen
Has been fired by Trump. Some might glean
That the caging is why
She’s been dumped, but (oh, my!)
Seems the Sec’s insufficiently mean.

Trump’s “Complete And Total Exoneration” (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2019

New York Magazine Headline: “Trump Aides Fear He Is Overselling His ‘Exoneration’”

Trump lies, as he brags to our nation
That he’s gotten complete vindication
From the Mueller Report,
While some staffers exhort:
Don’t distort please, in worried frustration.

Trump Ruins Another Holiday (Limerick)

Monday, April 1st, 2019

I have failed, despite numerous tries
To concoct some good holiday lies
For April the First.
But with Donald we’re cursed,
And the President’s lies take the prize.

Meaner Than Mean (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

The Donald is meaner than mean.
His venom is base and obscene.
He’s perniciously vicious
And cruelly seditious…
Wreaking havoc while venting his spleen.

Trump v. Healthcare (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

Pre-existing conditions protection
Is, to Donald, an evil infection;
Any “Kenyan’s” creation
Is bad for our nation.
All Obama erected? Ejection!

Release The Damn Report! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

I don’t care if it sounds like I’m chiding;
The principle’s clear, overriding:
We’ve a strong need-to-know
All that Mueller can show.
What are Donald and William Barr hiding?

The Press Messes Up Yet Again (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

Eric Boehlert on Twitter: “the press is now doing postmortems on the Mueller Report, which they haven’t read.”

Dear press, do not do a postmortem
On the Mueller Report. Please abort ’em.
It’s unseen and unread,
So you can’t put to bed
Or assess it. Don’t write or report ’em.

Trump Cronies v. Schiff (Limerick)

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

Headline: “Schiff smacks back at Republicans calling for him to resign”

Chairman Schiff’s under heavy attack
By many a Trump-ally hack;
From the truth they all travel
To yell: Yield the gavel!
But they’re trumped by his data-filled whack.

The Craziness Never Ends (Quatrain)

Tuesday, March 26th, 2019

Headline: “Trump tweets in official capacity, but blocking users is a personal matter, DOJ argues in court”

Up is down.
Black is white.
A smile’s a frown.
Please, please indict!

William Barr (Trump’s Savior?) (Limerick)

Monday, March 25th, 2019

William Barr is as sleazy as Bork.
(His tongue has been pierced by a fork.)
Donald got what he bought.
Let’s just hope that he’s caught
By the courts in the State of New York.

DC’s TMZ’d (Limerick)

Thursday, March 21st, 2019

Headline: “Trump Brought TMZ Politics to Washington”

When Trump went from prez-nominee
To our president, most hoped he’d be
A new man; changed, matured
By the job he’d secured.
But it’s Donald who’s altered DC.

GOP Still Stooping To Trump’s Level (Limerick)

Thursday, March 21st, 2019

Donald’s John McCain smears are obscene,
And pettiness spews from his spleen.
Yet few GOPers
Denounce him, as fleers
From decency sink to his mean.

The Ultimate Diss (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 12th, 2019

CNN Headline: “Nancy Pelosi: ‘I’m not for impeachment,’ slams Trump as ‘not worth it'”

That diss! How did Nancy unearth it?
It’s the ultimate slam! Did she birth it?
Despite fervent beseeching,
She’s anti-impeaching.
Her reason? Trump just is “not worth it.”

Is Golf A Path To Fitness? (Limerick)

Sunday, March 10th, 2019

You’ve decided it’s time to commit
To golfing. Your goal? Getting fit.
But is golf the right fix?
Take a look at Trump pics.
I suspect playing golf isn’t it.