Headline: “As the pandemic rages, the president brags”
Here’s a typical Trump tweet of late:
“My press conf’rence ratings are great!”
On TV, Donald prates
As his ego inflates,
While for briefings from experts we wait.
Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category
Non-Brief-Briefer-In-Chief (Limerick)
Monday, March 30th, 2020Irrational Polls (Limerick)
Friday, March 27th, 2020Headline: “Trump’s Approval Jumps Five Points”
A rise in the Donald’s approval
Transcends logic; he merits removal!
Such a gain in our national
Polls is irrational…
As peculiar as numbers from Liouville.*
*If you don’t understand my reference to mathematician Joseph Liouville, here’s a helpful link. And no, I’d never heard of him before, either. But when you’re desperate for a rhyme word, sometimes you have to research math.
Health-Menace-In-Chief
Wednesday, March 25th, 2020Headline: “CNN and MSNBC Staff Push Back on Airing Trump’s Coronavirus ‘Lies’”
From the Donald the truth’s rather rare.
Crisis briefings? There’s lying to spare.
Trump is flooding our nation
With false information.
Knock his dangerous rants off the air!
Trump Prioritizes Economy Over Lives (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 25th, 2020Headline: “Trump says he wants the country ‘opened up and just raring to go by Easter,’ despite health experts’ warnings”
The Donald’s inclined to retreat
From the fight for our lives, in defeat:
Forget germs! Fill each church!
Watch his policy lurch,
As he spouts off in presser and tweet.
Put A Sock In It, Donald! (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 24th, 2020Donald’s briefings for COVID-19
Should be banished from speaker and screen.
They’re a rally replacement
And lie-packed debasement.
Let the experts (sans Donald!!!) convene.
Under-Deliverer-In-Chief (Limerick)
Friday, March 20th, 2020Headline: “Over-promising and under-delivering during a crisis is a toxic combination”
Over-promising, under-delivering;
The Donald has citizens quivering
With anger and fear.
His failures are sheer:
Lead to death and more feverish shivering.
Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Thursday, March 19th, 2020Dear Donald stop being a sleaze;
Cease calling the virus “Chinese.”
Do not spread racist blame!
COVID-19’s its name,
Coined by pros; folks with real expertise.
Trump’s Magic Touch (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 17th, 2020When the Donald appears on tv,
A deep Dow drop’s a fait accompli.
Into freefall it goes,
Which compounds all our woes…
And with bars closed, there’s nowhere to flee.
Zip It, Donald (Limerick)
Thursday, March 12th, 2020Dear Donald, it’s time to stop talking.
How ’bout filling your mouth-hole with caulking?
You keep making things worse,
So it’s time to be terse…
Or resign and go back to your hawking.
Wimpy Trump Ducks Pelosi (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 11th, 2020Headline: “Trump reportedly won’t meet with Pelosi on a coronavirus bill, or for any reason, because he’s mad at her”
Trump won’t meet with Pelosi; he’s bruised
And aggrieved, wounded, hurt — feels misused.
She impeached him and tore
Up his speech, so he’s sore.
Yes he needs her, but contact? Refused!
Mitt Romney Pens A Limerick
Monday, March 9th, 2020Mitt Romney has penned a limerick, inspired by these two headlines:
“4 members of Congress — including lawmaker who shook Trump’s hand — to self-quarantine after CPAC”
Here’s Romney’s limerick:
Dear CPAC, your disinvitation
Was a blessing. I’m feeling elation;
It seems Covid-19
Was, alas, at your scene,
And I wasn’t, so thanks. Big ovation!
Crisis-Mishandler-In-Chief (Limerick)
Saturday, March 7th, 2020Empty bluster, denial, subversion,
Specious happy-talk, falsehood immersion;
Ev’ry Trumpy technique
For a crisis seems weak
When applied to a viral incursion.
AWOL Test Kits? (Limerick)
Friday, March 6th, 2020Headline: “‘BROKEN’ CORONAVIRUS TESTING PROCESS IN U.S. COULD HAVE ENABLED COVID-19 TO SPREAD ‘SILENTLY’ FOR WEEKS, EXPERTS WARN”
U.S. testing for COVID-19
Is so lacking, the number’s obscene.
Tests promised by Feds
Never come. Virus spreads!
But to Trump, things are great! Peachy keen!
Leave It To Trump To Make A Bad Situation Much Worse (Limerick)
Thursday, March 5th, 2020Headline: “Trump floats his own coronavirus hunches on ‘Hannity’ The president contradicts public health experts statements on death rate, contagion.”
The Donald’s profusion of lies
Has gone viral, so death could arise
From confusion he sows,
Contradicting the pros.
A worse plan one could never devise.
Applauding Mayor Pete (Limerick)
Sunday, March 1st, 2020I’m bracing for the angry comments likely to come my way:
Mayor Pete, thanks for ending your race.
Though it isn’t your time, you’re an ace.
By shrinking your lane,
The “Stop Bernie” train
Might succeed — that’s the challenge we face.
Victim-In-Chief (Limerick)
Saturday, February 29th, 2020Headline: “Trump Identifies the Real Coronavirus Victim: His Presidency”
There’s a virus whose spread causes dread.
It began in a land once called “Red.”
Though its victim counts stun,
To Trump there’s just one:
It is Trump — reelection hopes dead.
Pence To the Rescue (Limerick)
Thursday, February 27th, 2020Headline: “Mike Pence was criticized for his handling of Indiana’s HIV outbreak. He will lead the U.S. coronavirus response.”
A pandemic? No worries! Mike Pence
Is in charge, which makes wonderful sense.
No doubt he’ll repeat
His HIV feat.
So relax! Let the praying commence.
Trump’s Market Solution (2-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, February 26th, 2020Trump slashed funds meant for health expertise
And starved agencies aimed at disease.
But when COVID-19
Dims the stock market sheen,
It’s the fault of the Left, says the sleaze.
A vaccine’s “very close,” Donald lies.
(An assertion that NO expert buys.)
We’re in “great shape,” he swears.
How will Trump stop those bears?
Sell his lies for a stock market rise.
Trump Unleashed (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 12th, 2020In TRUMP-world the truth-tellers pay
A huge price for the truths they convey.
Trump demands and extracts
Silence, lies. Reveal facts
That make Donald look bad? You’re Trump-prey!
