Archive for April, 2011

Donald Trump Outsmarts Himself

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

People tend to assume that Trump owns all the stuff his name is emblazoned on. However, he isn’t nearly as wealthy as he’d have us believe. But he still has his good name. Or does he?

Donald Trump Outsmarts Himself
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Trump is playing a dangerous game:
His most noteworthy asset’s his name.
He gains media drama
With lies re Obama,
But devalues what’s left of his fame.

Open Limerick To Birthers

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

Hey Birthers, in between mouthing off about Obama and demanding the already-furnished proof that Obama was born in the U.S., I have a fun new assignment for you: How about ranting about Mitt Romney and demanding Romney’s elusive certificate of live birth?

What’s the matter Donald “Birther” Trump? Can’t you afford any more investigators?

Open Limerick To Birthers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Certifiable birth record pests
Keep beating their paranoid chests.
Yet they don’t have a fit
Over Romney, yes Mitt —
Where’s their int’rest in Mitt-record quests?

Author’s Note: For the record (and for the sarcasm-challenged) I’m confident that both Obama and Romney were born in the United States.

(You can find born-related haiku here.)

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

I love Mat Miller’s new definition of chutzpah:

Republicans who vote for the Ryan plan that adds trillions in debt and who then say the debt limit goes up only over their dead bodies!

That brings me to my latest Limerick:

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP debt-ceiling balkers
Are naught but hypocrisy hawkers.
Their plan adds eight trillion
(Not million or billion)
To the debt in a decade — Big Talkers!

DOMA Dollars

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

For someone who claims we’re broke, John Boehner certainly has some interesting priorities:

House Republicans plan to pay former Solicitor General Paul Clement and his legal team from King & Spaulding as much as $500,000 of taxpayer money to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on behalf of House of Representatives…

As Steve Benen says:

… Boehner has been running around for months, falsely claiming, “We’re broke.” It’s how he justifies proposed cuts in critical areas like education, medical research, infrastructure, job training, and homeland security, even if it makes the jobs crisis much worse.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

DOMA Dollars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner asserts that we’re broke,
But wastes cash to please wingnutty folk:
Big taxpayer bucks
On a lawyer deluxe
To save DOMA — for bigots bespoke.

Liberate Me From The Paul Clan

Monday, April 18th, 2011

Just what we need — another Ron Paul son in the Senate:

Liberate Me From The Paul Clan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Yet another ambitious Paul son?
How I’d hoped there was only the one.
First Ron and then Rand
And now Rob? What a band!
Please tell me we’re finally done.

Limerick Ode To The Math-Challenged Media

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Paul Ryan’s budget plan is both radical and fraudulent. But that doesn’t prevent an astounding number of journalists (who presumably count with their fingers) from treating it with respect and referring to it as “serious” and “bold.”

Limerick Ode To The Math-Challenged Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The math-challenged journos who laud
Ryan’s radical plan and applaud,
Say it’s “serious,” “bold,”
But his plan has no hold
On reality — naught but a fraud.

Open Limerick To President Obama

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, I’m shocked and appalled
By your deal-making prowess (so-called).
You could turn a royal flush
Into leftover mush.
Your message? “I love being mauled.”

(Related Post: Premature Concession Syndrome — A Remedial Limerick)

Limerick Ode To A Government Shutdown

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

Limerick Ode to A Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The thought of a government shutdown
Should be quickly, decisively cut down.
But I fear that we’re screwed
Cuz of Washington’s mood:
Boehner’s party has turned into Nut Town.

Radical Budget Haiku

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

I didn’t think I could do it. But I’ve summed up the Republicans’ radical (Paul Ryan-authored) budget plan in a single haiku:

Republican plan:
End entitlements, send wealth
to entitled rich.

*****

UPDATE: Prompted by a poetry site to include this trio of words in a poem (adamant, fabricate, peculiar) I challenged myself to fit them all into a single haiku:

Republican pols —
peculiarly adamant
fabricators.

Newt Strikes Out Again

Monday, April 4th, 2011

I really have to give Newt Gingrich credit — he’s consistent in his visceral hatred for all things Obama. Here’s Newt’s latest gem of a quote in response to President Obama’s reelection campaign announcement:

“Here’s a president who 18 months before the election is going to use his office to extort contributions on a scale we’ve never seen before,” Gingrich said in New Hampshire where he addressed the Institute of Politics at St. Anselm College in Manchester. “He’s in effect trying to create a Chicago style machine for the whole country with a billion dollars.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Newt Strikes Out Again
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s another new Newt-think contortion —
(Newt’s brain cells seem packed with distortion.)
He was fine when Prez Bush
Had a fund-raising push.
Let a Dem do the same? It’s extortion.

Political Haiku and Tanka Too

Saturday, April 2nd, 2011

White House and Congress
bought and managed by donors —
puppet theater.

*****

An epidemic —
political hypocrites —
Today’s GOP.

*****

Unlimited cash
from corporations to pols —
democracy dies.

****

Economic growth
still not translating to jobs —
Republicans shrug.

*****

Republican cuts
to budget sure to kill jobs —
Boehner: “So be it.”

*****

Deliberately
destroying economy
seemed unthinkable.
No longer a silly thought —
GOP election goal.

******

Author’s Note: These haiku and tanka were inspired in part by the following prompts: puppet, epidemic, unlimited, growth, and silly.