Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

Open Limerick To Donald Trump From Most Leading Republicans

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

As a running mate, I’d be ideal.
But I’ll never be yours, so get real!
Be advised, I insist:
Keep me off of your list.
Even Hillary has more appeal.

Open Limerick To “Bernie Or Busters”

Friday, April 29th, 2016

I can’t help wondering whether Bernie’s bound to lose his halo:

There are Dems who think Hill fans are dumb.
Seems she’s “evil” and “venal,” to some.
Here’s my question: When Bern
Does back Hill, will they spurn
“Sainted Bern” and demote him to scum?

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

Dear Ted, if you’re trying to woo
Hoosiers’ fans, here is what NOT to do:
Call that “hoop” thing a “ring.”
(Also Carly can’t sing.)
Lots of luck with your GOP coup.

Cruz & Carly — A Match Made In Political Hell (Limerick)

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

Can Carly help Teddy prevail?
His desp’rate Hail Mary will fail.
Though she’s brighter than Palin,
Ted’s ‘woman card’s’ ailin’.
(Are we SURE Carly isn’t a male?)

Perhaps Trump Should Re-Take The Name “Drumpf” (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 27th, 2016

The Donald’s next goal on the stump:
Overcome the “no gravitas” hump
And appear presidential,
Which means it’s essential
To prove that The Donald ain’t Trump.

Open Limerick To Hillary-Haters

Tuesday, April 26th, 2016

The Bernie or Bust meme’s akin
To ensuring a GOP win.
So who is the shill
For vows to spurn Hill?
Karl Rove… or duped Dems drunk on spin?

*****

I’m for Hill, you’ve sussed.
Vote for Bernie, if you must.
Nix “Bernie or Bust.”

Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)

Monday, April 25th, 2016

Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.

Trump Spells Out His Problem With Kasich (Limerick)

Sunday, April 24th, 2016

A headline like this pretty much demands a limerick:
“Trump asks Kasich to change spelling of his name.”

Here’s The Donald’s big grievance today:
To Kasich’s last name, he says, “Nay!”
It’s spelled wrong, goes his schtick –
Looks like “itch,” and not “ick,”
Which means Kasich should change it, okay?

Trump’s Team: “Plane” Incompetent (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

Prez Trump will be great! You know why?
His reason’s a bit hard to buy:
He will bring a “great team!”
Yet his team it would seem
Can not keep his plane reg’stered to fly.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

Dear Donald, you whine and seem thrown
By the delegate rules you’d disown.
Being prez is far worse;
More complex and perverse.
So moaning won’t cut it. You’re blown!

Trump To GOP: “Nice little convention you got here. I’d hate to see anything happen to it.” (Limerick)

Sunday, April 17th, 2016

Trump again has been voicing a threat:
Change the rules till I like ’em or get
A convention that “rough.”
Doesn’t sound like a bluff:
Nominee not named “Trump” nets regret.

Ted Cruz’s Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Thursday, April 7th, 2016

Cruz was so thrilled by this headline, that he wrote Trump a limerick:
G.O.P. Donors, Eager to Defeat Donald Trump, Learn to Love Ted Cruz.

Dear Donald, I’m writing to say
You’ve a talent for making my day;
Cuz of you, the elite
Have embraced me — a feat
That’s far-fetched, without you in the fray.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

The word “loser’s” your favorite dig.
(Though for women, you’re fond of “fat pig.”)
So your spew upon losing
Wisconsin’s amusing:
A sore-loserish rant from a prig.

Trump’s “Boring As Hell” Objections (Limerick)

Monday, April 4th, 2016

Headline of the Day: “Trump: Acting more presidential would be ‘boring as hell.’”

It’s boring to act presidential,
Says Trump, a complaint consequential.
Does that mean Donald’s plan
If elected (Oh man!)
Is to dodge obligations essential?

Open Limerick to Any Bernie Fan Enraged By My Posts

Wednesday, March 30th, 2016

If Bernie beats Hillary, fine;
I’ll support him and nary a whine
Will I utter or write.
But right now I shall fight.
As for efforts to silence me, “Nein!”

Open Limerick To Bernie Sanders

Tuesday, March 29th, 2016

This limerick was inspired by Bernie Sanders surrogates (like Susan Sarandon) who essentially tell folks NOT to support Hillary if she gets the nomination:

Dear Bernie, the time has now come
To disown and renounce any chum
Who with surrogate clout
Says: If Hill beats Bern out,
Vote for somebody else. She’s a bum.

(Here’s Charles Blow’s excellent video response to Sarandon’s comments.)

VoteTrumpGetDumped (Limerick)

Saturday, March 26th, 2016

There’s an anti-Trump movement that’s bold;
It urges us all to withhold
From each lover and mate
Who thinks Donald is great:
Sex, canoodling, and dates… till they fold.

With Pals Like Ben Carson… (Limerick)

Friday, March 25th, 2016

I love this Ben Carson quote from his appearance on “The View:”

He also declined to refute charges from the hosts of the show that Trump is a liar, saying only, “tell me a politician who doesn’t tell lies?”

When he’s asked: Isn’t Donald a liar?
Ain’t it true that his pants are fire?
Carson’s tepid reply
Is: What pol doesn’t lie?
What inspiring praise from Trump’s choir!

Trump’s Not-So-Veiled Threats (Limericks)

Friday, March 25th, 2016

Many hope for a brokered convention,
Yet fear it will stir up dissension
And rioting sprees
By Trump devotees…
A likelihood Trump likes to mention.

Politics Driving You To Drink? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 24th, 2016

Seems I can’t avoid writing about Trump, even while I’m trying to celebrate National Cocktail Day.

I could use a stiff drink. Make it strong,
Cuz The Donald is doing us wrong.
The Trumpian brand
Has invaded our land.
And those hands! Kindly pass me the bong.