Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

Trump’s Bitches And Sulks As Poll Numbers Slump (Limerick)

Sunday, August 18th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Blames ‘Racism Witch Hunt’ for Low Poll Numbers”

Donald’s numbers seem stuck in a slump,
And the media caused it, claims Trump:
It’s “a Racism Witch Hunt.”
(His pass-the-blame glitch-hunt —
Self-pitying tweet from his rump.)

Open Limerick To Democratic Pols

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2019

No matter what Democrats do,
We’ll be labelled a socialist crew.
Don’t deny or adapt;
By such spews, don’t be trapped.
And, instead, to your conscience be true.

A Trumpian 4th (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 4th, 2019

Donald’s pulling out all of the stops,
Treating tanks and our troops just like props;
Using taxpayer cash,
He’s subverting this bash
To flex his tyrannical chops.

Trump’s despoiling the 4th; he’s hell-bent
On saluting himself; this event
Is to boost reelection.
He fears our rejection.
Let’s make sure that to prison he’s sent.

Limerick Ode To The Campaigner-In-Chief

Wednesday, June 19th, 2019

Donald’s running again? What a “shock!”
His “relaunch” (so-called) is a crock.
He treats his campaign
As his job. That’s been plain
From the day of his swearing-in squawk.

I Dislike Likability (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Is ‘Likability’ Biased Towards Men?”

“Likability” — what a odd word;
It appears that most any male turd
Can be deemed by the press
As more likable — yes —
Than a non-turd-like female. Absurd!

Trump Testy Over Mueller Testimony (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Objects to Mueller Testifying Before Congress”

Donald Trump is beginning to panic
Over threats to a long reign, tyrannic:
What has roused Donald’s fear?
Mueller’s said he’ll appear
Before Congress. (Cue terror volcanic.)

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2019

Dear Joe Biden, I liked you as Veep,
But it’s clear that you simply can’t keep
From invading the space
Of gals. It’s off-base,
And the price of such action’s now steep.

Astray (Limerick)

Saturday, February 23rd, 2019

The Donald has led us astray
In ev’ry conceivable way.
Is there any path out
From under this lout?
Twenty-twenty is TOO far away!

Trump Tries To “Rally” The Troops (Limerick)

Thursday, December 27th, 2018

My dear Trump, were you raised in an alley?
Cuz a visit with troops ain’t a rally.
Your political speech
In that setting’s a breach…
And pally, we’re keeping a tally.

Limerick Ode To Michael Flynn

Wednesday, December 19th, 2018

“Flynn gets slapped for lawyer stunt claiming he was somehow set up”

If you’re tempted to try legal stunts,
Take this lesson from Flynn, who’s a dunce:
When you feign being set up,
Your troubles won’t let up;
Fed’ral judges detest such affronts!

Trump’s Team Of Crooks (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Slate: “The DOJ has made a pretty thorough case that the Trump campaign was filled with crooks.”

Trump’s campaign-team was teeming with crooks
It surely was one for the books;
His affinity for
That felonious corps
Was driven by greed. (Not good looks.)

Trump’s Pre-Election Middle Class Tax-Cut Con (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Headline: “Mnuchin Backs Off Trump’s Promise of 10% Middle-Class Tax Cut”

Just before the most recent election,
Donald tweeted a base-bait confection,
Falsely pledging a boon
For the middle class — soon!
Phantom tax cuts – a Trump misdirection.

Trump Can Forget the “Edwards Defense” (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2018

Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)

But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!

Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”

Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.

Death Of Democracy? (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

Headline: “Let’s stop using euphemisms; American democracy is under attack

Our democracy’s under attack;
Voting systems are all out of whack.
Gerrymand’ring has wrecked
Our nation. Unchecked,
We’ll “elect” only quack, flak, and hack.

GOP Course Correction? Of Course Not! (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Despite Big House Losses, G.O.P. Shows No Signs of Course Correction

Course correction is NOT being planned
By Republican pols, though their brand
Has been sullied by kissing
Trump’s ass. They are missing
Their balls and remaining unmanned.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Golfer-In-Chief Trump (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.

(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)

Yet Another Episode of “Rules Only Apply To Democrats” (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 20th, 2018

Headline: Trump Dismisses Ivanka Email Story as ‘Fake News’

Remember Trump’s dominant theme?
“Lock her up!” — a Republican meme.
Where are similar rants
Re Ivanka? Those chants;
Could it be they were only a dream?

The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”

Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.