Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”

Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.

Death Of Democracy? (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

Headline: “Let’s stop using euphemisms; American democracy is under attack

Our democracy’s under attack;
Voting systems are all out of whack.
Gerrymand’ring has wrecked
Our nation. Unchecked,
We’ll “elect” only quack, flak, and hack.

GOP Course Correction? Of Course Not! (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Despite Big House Losses, G.O.P. Shows No Signs of Course Correction

Course correction is NOT being planned
By Republican pols, though their brand
Has been sullied by kissing
Trump’s ass. They are missing
Their balls and remaining unmanned.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Golfer-In-Chief Trump (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.

(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)

Yet Another Episode of “Rules Only Apply To Democrats” (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 20th, 2018

Headline: Trump Dismisses Ivanka Email Story as ‘Fake News’

Remember Trump’s dominant theme?
“Lock her up!” — a Republican meme.
Where are similar rants
Re Ivanka? Those chants;
Could it be they were only a dream?

The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”

Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.

Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.

***********
Alternate Version — More general

Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.

Election Stress (Limerick)

Sunday, November 4th, 2018

Headline: “There’s Plenty To Stress Over In The ‘Anxiety Election'”

I’m nervous! I’m anxious! I’m stressed!
Leave the house? That entails getting dressed!
Pre-Election Day tension;
Fear, anger, dissension!
I might just pull a “Baldwin.” Need rest!

GOP Indecency (Limerick)

Friday, November 2nd, 2018

Donald Trump and his GOP peers
Are exploiting our cultural fears,
Using tactics divisive
And vilely derisive;
Throwing decency out on its ears.

The Divider-In-Chief Speaks Out Against Division? (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 24th, 2018

“Trump calls for unity after explosive devices sent to prominent Democratic figures”

Donald’s rallies encourage disunity.
He stokes violence with cocky impunity.
So Trump’s just-pretend qualms
When Dems are sent bombs?
Just another PR opportunity!

Stealing Georgia? (Limerick)

Friday, October 12th, 2018

Kemp’s afraid that more Georgians might vote,
So he blocks them from regist’ring. Note,
He’s intent on defeating
Ms. Abrams by cheating
To keep his Gov prospects afloat.

Donald The Prognosticator (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

WP Headline: “Trump’s insistence on an upcoming ‘red wave’ could make a blue wave higher”

I enjoy watching Donald emote
About upcoming mid-terms; he’ll gloat
About wins and successes.
My hope and best guess is
His base will think “no need to vote!”

Trump-Tweet Billboard Trolls Ted’s Campaign (Limerick)

Monday, September 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Activists to remind Texas about Trump’s ‘Lyin’ Ted’ Cruz tweets with mobile billboard”

The Donald’s campaigning for Cruz.
I’m amused (aren’t you?) by this news:
A huge sign filled with tweets–
Donald’s anti-Cruz bleats–
Will be giving both scoundrels the blues.

The “What’s The Big Deal?” Defense (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018

Trump’s personal lawyer’s confessed
To committing at Donald’s behest
And direction some crimes,
While his party-mate slimes
Are pretending to be unimpressed.

Trump Puts Press At Risk (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “Media boost security as Trump ramps up ‘enemy’ rhetoric”

When the media covers Trump rallies,
It’s as risky as ent’ring dark allies.
Donald’s shown us his cards,
So the press now needs guards
Due to menacing crowds and threat tallies.

The GOP’s “Blue Wave” Blues (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “4 signs of a blue wave from Election Day: Republicans should be running scared”

Most Republican leaders see Trump
As creating a GOP slump.
But not Donald! He’ll brag
And pretend the “Trump drag”
Is “fake news,” as our “blue wave” odds jump.

Trump Trumped By Leaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “The so-called leaks coming out of the White House are a massive over exaggeration put out by the Fake News Media in order to make us look as bad as possible. With that being said, leakers are traitors and cowards, and we will find out who they are!”

Though he frequently rails about leaks,
When he ran Trump aired NO such critiques;
Once a WikiLeaks fan,
Now an anti-leak man.
He’s the target? Trump bellows and shrieks.

A Hairy Rick Saccone Theory (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 14th, 2018

Crazy-sounding, but true:

Why did Rick Saccone’s run turned to ash?
Why’d his edge disappear in a flash?
Here’s my fav’rite absurd
Excuse that I’ve heard:
Rick Saccone “should have lost the mustache.”

From the Washington Examiner:

Frustrated by Saccone’s performance, some Republicans have gone so far as to zero in on his mustachioed appearance.

“It’s a porn stache,” said one Pennsylvania-based GOP strategist. “He should have lost the mustache.”

Mitch v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

One of today’s many annoying headlines: “McConnell Sees No Need to Protect Mueller From President Trump”

No need to shield Mueller, says Mitch.
No chance he’ll be tossed in a ditch.
Undermine him? You jest!
No one has such a quest!
And if something goes wrong? Life’s a bitch!