Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

Russian Election Interference — NOT A One-Time Thing (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 21st, 2017

Though people seem prone to adopt
The past tense re the Russians, I’ll opt
To claim present tense crime
Re elections, each time;
There’s no reason to think that they’ve stopped.

Voter’s Remorse? (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 6th, 2017

“Are you suff’ring from voter’s remorse?”
That query arises, perforce.
But I’ve yet to hear “yes”
In response, I confess.
Does it cause that much stress to change course?

Only Bad People Get Sick? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

According to Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL), sick people don’t deserve affordable healthcare.

If you’re healthy, this means that you’re good.
Only bad folks get sick. Understood?
That’s the gospel of Mo;
Rep. Mo Brooks — what a schmo!
“Christian love” from the GOP hood.

Be Careful What You Wish For (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

As Republicans surely are learning
(Having finally sated their yearning
For one-party rule)
Running government’s cool…
But much harder than blocking and churning.

The Price Of Defiance (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

The Donald keeps shattering norms;
Routine standards? He rarely conforms.
Though it got him the win,
His defiant thin skin
Breeds snafus, chaos, loss, and tweet storms.

Dear Media: Trump ISN’T A Populist, So Stop Calling Him One! (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

Does anyone else cringe when the media calls Trump a “populist?” I suggest these, instead: “purported populist,” “fake populist,” “alleged populist,” just-pretend populist,” or “faux populist.”

A “faux populist” con hurtled Trump
To the White House, the votes from each chump
Gained by promises made
That he’d come to their aid;
Bigly duped by a fraud on the stump.

The “Ridiculous Standard” Trump Once Loved (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

CNBC Headline: “Trump calls first 100 days a ‘ridiculous standard’ — even though he set it as a standard.”

Remember when Donald embraced
The 1st HUNDRED Days standard? He based
His campaign on a list
Of such goals, mostly missed.
Having failed, he’d declare it erased.

Will Trump Instigate a Government Shut-Down On Purpose? (Limerick)

Monday, April 24th, 2017

As Disrupter-in-Chief, Trump’s an ace,
And he certainly seems right on pace
To delib’rately cause
A government pause;
A shut-down to placate his base.

For he promised his fans he’d make waves,
Shake things up and then topple the knaves
Who keep government going
And tax money flowing,
Enforcing each reg that enslaves.

But he finds himself deep in a pickle.
His accomplishments? Not worth a nickel
So he needs a big drama;
A gov-shut-down trauma —
Even gullible fans can be fickle.

The Trump Revolt (Limerick)

Monday, February 27th, 2017

Yet another headline that begs for a limerick:
“Donald Trump is creating a field day for the 1%.”

While running, Trump promised to lead
A revolt v. elitists. But heed
Donald’s affluent picks;
Mostly rich, gilt-edged pricks.
His flimflam’s revolting, indeed.

You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”

Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.

Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.

Limerick Ode To “Gracelessness In Victory”

Monday, January 16th, 2017

As Dana Milbank points out:

“With charity for none and with malice toward all but his supporters, [Trump] has in the past two months set a new standard for gracelessness in victory.”

It’s apparent that Trump is a sinner
And a lying, conniving tale spinner.
But the oddest of all
His misdeeds, large and small,
Is that Trump’s a ginormous sore winner.

Trump’s Been Limerick-ing Again

Monday, January 16th, 2017

Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!

Trump Nominees Versus Trump??? (Limerick)

Friday, January 13th, 2017

My latest limerick was inspired by the stark differences between Trump’s signature campaign promises and the positions of his Cabinet picks.

While under the hearing lights’ glare
Donald’s picks make it clear they don’t share
Major policy views
With their prez. Does he snooze
Through their shmoozes … or simply not care?

What’s A Few Lies Among GOP Friends? (Limerick)

Monday, December 5th, 2016

Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:

“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”

Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!

Trump’s Swamp (Limerick)

Sunday, December 4th, 2016

Though he promised with fervor and pomp
That as prez he’d be draining the swamp,
There’s no dredging in sight;
Just corruption and blight,
As Trump’s cronies and billionaires romp.

Open Limerick To Jill Stein Voters

Saturday, December 3rd, 2016

Lately I’ve been seeing posts by “Bernie or Buster” Jill Stein supporters whining about the horror that is Donald Trump.

Seems to me they should have thought of that just a wee bit sooner.

Dear “Bernie or Busters” don’t whine
About Trump and the fact he’s a swine.
Your bitching should halt,
Cuz Trump’s win is YOUR FAULT!
Hope your “conscience” is happy with Stein.

How’s the “Swamp Draining” Going? (Limerick)

Monday, November 28th, 2016

Donald’s conflicts of int’rest abound,
And his acts of self-dealing confound.
The “swamp” is Trump’s playground;
Get richer, crush prey-ground.
In Trump-sewage, democracy’s drowned.

Trump Tries To Have It Both Ways (Limerick)

Monday, November 28th, 2016

Trump asserts that he really did win
The popular vote. That’s his spin.
It would seem Trump has blundered:
His claim ‘votes were plundered’
Makes recount objections sound thin.

Limerick Ode To Sniveling Donald

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2016

Pre-election, The Donald went wild
With tweets that were petty and riled.
Since he won, there’s no sign
Of a whine-rate decline.
Face the facts: We’ve elected a child.

Open Limerick To President Obama: Appoint Merrick Garland NOW! (2-Verse)

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.

Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.