Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

The Trump Revolt (Limerick)

Monday, February 27th, 2017

Yet another headline that begs for a limerick:
“Donald Trump is creating a field day for the 1%.”

While running, Trump promised to lead
A revolt v. elitists. But heed
Donald’s affluent picks;
Mostly rich, gilt-edged pricks.
His flimflam’s revolting, indeed.

You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”

Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.

Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.

Limerick Ode To “Gracelessness In Victory”

Monday, January 16th, 2017

As Dana Milbank points out:

“With charity for none and with malice toward all but his supporters, [Trump] has in the past two months set a new standard for gracelessness in victory.”

It’s apparent that Trump is a sinner
And a lying, conniving tale spinner.
But the oddest of all
His misdeeds, large and small,
Is that Trump’s a ginormous sore winner.

Trump’s Been Limerick-ing Again

Monday, January 16th, 2017

Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!

Trump Nominees Versus Trump??? (Limerick)

Friday, January 13th, 2017

My latest limerick was inspired by the stark differences between Trump’s signature campaign promises and the positions of his Cabinet picks.

While under the hearing lights’ glare
Donald’s picks make it clear they don’t share
Major policy views
With their prez. Does he snooze
Through their shmoozes … or simply not care?

What’s A Few Lies Among GOP Friends? (Limerick)

Monday, December 5th, 2016

Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:

“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”

Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!

Trump’s Swamp (Limerick)

Sunday, December 4th, 2016

Though he promised with fervor and pomp
That as prez he’d be draining the swamp,
There’s no dredging in sight;
Just corruption and blight,
As Trump’s cronies and billionaires romp.

Open Limerick To Jill Stein Voters

Saturday, December 3rd, 2016

Lately I’ve been seeing posts by “Bernie or Buster” Jill Stein supporters whining about the horror that is Donald Trump.

Seems to me they should have thought of that just a wee bit sooner.

Dear “Bernie or Busters” don’t whine
About Trump and the fact he’s a swine.
Your bitching should halt,
Cuz Trump’s win is YOUR FAULT!
Hope your “conscience” is happy with Stein.

How’s the “Swamp Draining” Going? (Limerick)

Monday, November 28th, 2016

Donald’s conflicts of int’rest abound,
And his acts of self-dealing confound.
The “swamp” is Trump’s playground;
Get richer, crush prey-ground.
In Trump-sewage, democracy’s drowned.

Trump Tries To Have It Both Ways (Limerick)

Monday, November 28th, 2016

Trump asserts that he really did win
The popular vote. That’s his spin.
It would seem Trump has blundered:
His claim ‘votes were plundered’
Makes recount objections sound thin.

Limerick Ode To Sniveling Donald

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2016

Pre-election, The Donald went wild
With tweets that were petty and riled.
Since he won, there’s no sign
Of a whine-rate decline.
Face the facts: We’ve elected a child.

Open Limerick To President Obama: Appoint Merrick Garland NOW! (2-Verse)

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.

Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.

Trump Wins; Nation Loses (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, November 9th, 2016

An odious person has won,
So my hope for our nation’s undone.
I am stunned by the con
Accomplished by Don.
Has the advent of End Times begun?

The fact that a Trump can prevail
Tells a sad and dispiriting tale
Of a country that’s filled
With ill will, bound to build
Something vile … and to virtue derail.

Melania’s Plaint (Limerick)

Friday, November 4th, 2016

Cyberbullying’s bad,” said Trump’s spouse.
“Kids are mean with the click of a mouse.
As First Lady, I’ll fight
To battle this blight.”
Hey lady, first clean your own house.

Open Limerick To FBI Director James Comey

Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

There’s a stark double standard from Comey.
(If you don’t think I’m MAD, you don’t know me.)
He proclaims each Hill crumb,
Yet on Trump he stays mum.
So my message to Comey is “Blow me!”

Poor Trump: The Mics Are Rigged Against Him (Limerick)

Thursday, October 27th, 2016

Ever wonder what Trump does for a hobby? Apparently he bitches about microphones:

Donald Trump amplified his contentious history with microphones Thursday, blaming the technology for recording what he thought he was saying in private.

In an interview set to air Thursday, Trump faulted a hot mic for capturing him speaking cavalierly about forcibly kissing and groping women with impunity because he’s ‘a star.’

‘The microphones, I mean to be honest should, you know, should never have been on,’ he said, according to an excerpt of an interview scheduled to broadcast Thursday evening with the global Catholic network EWTN and published by The Washington Post.

Trump’s revealed who is really at fault
For his infamous brags of assault.
Donald’s mic is to blame
For his “pussy” boast fame.
Trump’s a media pro? Oy gevalt!

Down-Market Donald (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 26th, 2016

Here’s some news that has cheered me a bit:
Donald’s branding has taken a hit.
The elite who can pay
His steep rates, now say “Nay!”
So Trump’s “luxury” name ain’t worth spit.

Going To Town About The Election (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

This election is nearing its end
None too soon; I’ve gone plumb round the bend.
I can’t handle more jive.
My mind’s taken a dive.
It needs Hillary’s village to mend.

Trump “Bronx Cheered” In Manhattan (Limerick)

Friday, October 21st, 2016

At a charity, heckling is rare,
But Trump got derision to spare
At the Alfred Smith Dinner.
Trump wasn’t the winner?
“Rigged” booing, no doubt. How unfair!

Limerick Ode To Losing “Bigly”

Thursday, October 20th, 2016

Donald lost the debate rather “bigly.”
The jig’s up, Mr. “Bigwig.” Your prigly
And pigly deportment
And oddball assortment
Of views “rigged the deal” … and I’m giggly.