Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2019

Dear Joe Biden, I liked you as Veep,
But it’s clear that you simply can’t keep
From invading the space
Of gals. It’s off-base,
And the price of such action’s now steep.

Astray (Limerick)

Saturday, February 23rd, 2019

The Donald has led us astray
In ev’ry conceivable way.
Is there any path out
From under this lout?
Twenty-twenty is TOO far away!

Trump Tries To “Rally” The Troops (Limerick)

Thursday, December 27th, 2018

My dear Trump, were you raised in an alley?
Cuz a visit with troops ain’t a rally.
Your political speech
In that setting’s a breach…
And pally, we’re keeping a tally.

Limerick Ode To Michael Flynn

Wednesday, December 19th, 2018

“Flynn gets slapped for lawyer stunt claiming he was somehow set up”

If you’re tempted to try legal stunts,
Take this lesson from Flynn, who’s a dunce:
When you feign being set up,
Your troubles won’t let up;
Fed’ral judges detest such affronts!

Trump’s Team Of Crooks (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Slate: “The DOJ has made a pretty thorough case that the Trump campaign was filled with crooks.”

Trump’s campaign-team was teeming with crooks
It surely was one for the books;
His affinity for
That felonious corps
Was driven by greed. (Not good looks.)

Trump’s Pre-Election Middle Class Tax-Cut Con (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Headline: “Mnuchin Backs Off Trump’s Promise of 10% Middle-Class Tax Cut”

Just before the most recent election,
Donald tweeted a base-bait confection,
Falsely pledging a boon
For the middle class — soon!
Phantom tax cuts – a Trump misdirection.

Trump Can Forget the “Edwards Defense” (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2018

Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)

But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!

Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”

Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.

Death Of Democracy? (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

Headline: “Let’s stop using euphemisms; American democracy is under attack

Our democracy’s under attack;
Voting systems are all out of whack.
Gerrymand’ring has wrecked
Our nation. Unchecked,
We’ll “elect” only quack, flak, and hack.

GOP Course Correction? Of Course Not! (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Despite Big House Losses, G.O.P. Shows No Signs of Course Correction

Course correction is NOT being planned
By Republican pols, though their brand
Has been sullied by kissing
Trump’s ass. They are missing
Their balls and remaining unmanned.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Golfer-In-Chief Trump (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.

(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)

Yet Another Episode of “Rules Only Apply To Democrats” (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 20th, 2018

Headline: Trump Dismisses Ivanka Email Story as ‘Fake News’

Remember Trump’s dominant theme?
“Lock her up!” — a Republican meme.
Where are similar rants
Re Ivanka? Those chants;
Could it be they were only a dream?

The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”

Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.

Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Stocks are fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.

*************

(ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS)

Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Mueller’s fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************

Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.

************

Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.

Election Stress (Limerick)

Sunday, November 4th, 2018

Headline: “There’s Plenty To Stress Over In The ‘Anxiety Election'”

I’m nervous! I’m anxious! I’m stressed!
Leave the house? That entails getting dressed!
Pre-Election Day tension;
Fear, anger, dissension!
I might just pull a “Baldwin.” Need rest!

GOP Indecency (Limerick)

Friday, November 2nd, 2018

Donald Trump and his GOP peers
Are exploiting our cultural fears,
Using tactics divisive
And vilely derisive;
Throwing decency out on its ears.

The Divider-In-Chief Speaks Out Against Division? (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 24th, 2018

“Trump calls for unity after explosive devices sent to prominent Democratic figures”

Donald’s rallies encourage disunity.
He stokes violence with cocky impunity.
So Trump’s just-pretend qualms
When Dems are sent bombs?
Just another PR opportunity!

Stealing Georgia? (Limerick)

Friday, October 12th, 2018

Kemp’s afraid that more Georgians might vote,
So he blocks them from regist’ring. Note,
He’s intent on defeating
Ms. Abrams by cheating
To keep his Gov prospects afloat.

Donald The Prognosticator (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

WP Headline: “Trump’s insistence on an upcoming ‘red wave’ could make a blue wave higher”

I enjoy watching Donald emote
About upcoming mid-terms; he’ll gloat
About wins and successes.
My hope and best guess is
His base will think “no need to vote!”