Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

That “Perfect” Ukraine Call (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 8th, 2019

The Donald insists on defending
That infamous phone call, pretending
There was “no quid pro quo” —
It was “perfect.” E’en so,
I predict it’s the start of Trump’s ending.

Limerick Ode To The Horn-Blower in Chief (Limerick)

Monday, October 7th, 2019

Trump Tweet: “As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!)…”

Trump’s “wisdom” is “great and unmatched.”
(Donald’s claim via Twitter, dispatched
In a horn-blowing tweet.)
Seems his feed is replete
With proof that Trump’s brain has been snatched.

Limerick Ode To Trump Enablers

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

Headline: “The Mad King’s Enablers”

Though elected Republicans know
That Trump is unfit, they still show
That their stance is protect
And defend and deflect…
No matter how low Trump will go.

Law-Flouter in Chief (Limerick)

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

Headline: “Trump Just Committed More High Crimes on the White House Lawn”

For his upcoming ’20 campaign,
Trump solicited help from Ukraine.
China too, as we’ve seen
Right in public! Trump’s keen
To flout laws for his personal gain.

The Victim-In-Chief Lashes Out (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019

Headline: “Trump Says House Investigations Are ‘Bullshit’”

Poor Donald is all in a stew;
He complains we’re engaged in a COUP.
Extra hostile on Twitter,
He’s angry and bitter.
What’s a “victim” to do? Tweet and sue.

Trump Running Scared? (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019

Headline: “Pelosi says Trump ‘scared’ of impeachment inquiry in exclusive ABC News interview”

The Donald appears to be scared,
As his villainous actions are bared.
He is used to eschewing
A price for wrong-doing.
So for punishment, Trump’s unprepared.

Finally, Something Makes The GOP Uneasy! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 1st, 2019

Seems the GOP’s getting uneasy.
Can you guess who is making them queasy?
No, not Donald; it’s Rudy.
The guy’s “a real beaudy…”
Who somehow makes Trump look less sleazy.

Headline: “GOP uneasy with Giuliani”

It’s NOT Just Trump (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 1st, 2019

Pompeo and Barr are knee-deep
In Trump scandals and crimes. One could weep
At their ethics-free acts
And their freedom from facts.
As for consciences? Dead, or asleep.

Trump, the Oval “Martyr” (Limerick)

Monday, September 30th, 2019

Headline: “Staring down impeachment, Trump sees himself as a victim of historic proportions”

Poor Donald’s a “martyr.” Boo-hoo!
(That’s the Donald’s self-pitying view.)
He bitches and moans
And wallows in groans,
Cheered on by his base — “victims” too.

Trump Turning Point??? (Limerick)

Saturday, September 28th, 2019

The news has unfolded so fast,
That I’m dizzy; both pleased and aghast.
Do I fin’ly dare think
That we’re poised on the brink
Of dispensing with Donald at last?

One Crime Too Many? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 25th, 2019

Trump’s a knave who has gone way too far.
(So too, has his pal AG Barr.)
An impeachment is nigh.
There’s no choice, and here’s why:
Trump behaves like a tyrant and czar.

What If Trump Refuses To Step Down? (Limerick)

Monday, September 16th, 2019

Headline: “What Happens if Trump Won’t Step Down?”

People fret: “What if Donald Trump loses,
And when told to step down, he refuses?”
No prob! End of term,
Dump that blood-sucking worm
At any Trump golf course he chooses.

Trump Messing With The Wrong Actress (Limerick)

Sunday, September 1st, 2019

The Donald is twitter-obsessing,
And his topic this times’s Debra Messing.
But his story won’t sell;
Used his “called me “Sir” tell.
Trump feels threatened by Debra, I’m guessing.

Trump’s Bitches And Sulks As Poll Numbers Slump (Limerick)

Sunday, August 18th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Blames ‘Racism Witch Hunt’ for Low Poll Numbers”

Donald’s numbers seem stuck in a slump,
And the media caused it, claims Trump:
It’s “a Racism Witch Hunt.”
(His pass-the-blame glitch-hunt —
Self-pitying tweet from his rump.)

Open Limerick To Democratic Pols

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2019

No matter what Democrats do,
We’ll be labelled a socialist crew.
Don’t deny or adapt;
By such spews, don’t be trapped.
And, instead, to your conscience be true.

A Trumpian 4th (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 4th, 2019

Donald’s pulling out all of the stops,
Treating tanks and our troops just like props;
Using taxpayer cash,
He’s subverting this bash
To flex his tyrannical chops.

Trump’s despoiling the 4th; he’s hell-bent
On saluting himself; this event
Is to boost reelection.
He fears our rejection.
Let’s make sure that to prison he’s sent.

Limerick Ode To The Campaigner-In-Chief

Wednesday, June 19th, 2019

Donald’s running again? What a “shock!”
His “relaunch” (so-called) is a crock.
He treats his campaign
As his job. That’s been plain
From the day of his swearing-in squawk.

I Dislike Likability (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Is ‘Likability’ Biased Towards Men?”

“Likability” — what a odd word;
It appears that most any male turd
Can be deemed by the press
As more likable — yes —
Than a non-turd-like female. Absurd!

Trump Testy Over Mueller Testimony (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Objects to Mueller Testifying Before Congress”

Donald Trump is beginning to panic
Over threats to a long reign, tyrannic:
What has roused Donald’s fear?
Mueller’s said he’ll appear
Before Congress. (Cue terror volcanic.)

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2019

Dear Joe Biden, I liked you as Veep,
But it’s clear that you simply can’t keep
From invading the space
Of gals. It’s off-base,
And the price of such action’s now steep.