Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 24th, 2024

A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:

“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”

Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad.
I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad?
You di’n’t win by enough?
Oh, poor baby! That’s rough!
But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.

Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump

Saturday, January 20th, 2024

My latest limerick requires a bit of background info, for those who missed Trump’s latest cognitive quagmire: In New Hampshire this past week, Trump converted his Pelosi lie about January 6 security into a Nikki Haley lie.

And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)

Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:

Pelosi’s a female, it’s true.
So is Haley, and both oppose YOU.
Nonetheless, it’s unwise
To (while spinning your lies)
Confuse those two gals, as you spew.

Whining For Time (Limerick)

Monday, August 7th, 2023

“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea
From John Lauro, last week in DC.
But the judge should be tough,
Cuz oddly enough
John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.

Limerick Ode To Smart-Ass DeSantis

Thursday, May 25th, 2023

“DeSantis debacle: Twitter Spaces presidential announcement marred by technical problems.”

Smart-Ass Ron: Had you asked someone sane
About venues to launch your campaign,
(S)he’d have warned “Do Not Do
A Twitter Debut!”
(Sound advice you’d have viewed with disdain.)

Yet Another Trump Limerick

Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

Four more years of a man who’s our bane?
A man with a venomous brain?
What’s the crux of the matter?
Trump’s vile — a Mad Hatter!
The GOP’s choice is insane!

Trump’s Announcement Dud (Limerick)

Sunday, November 27th, 2022

Donald’s run has been met with a shrug.
Will he fin’ly be squished like a bug?
He announced and was trounced
In reviews, soon pronounced
“Tired” news. Please indict that damn thug!

The Real Reason Trump’s Running Yet Again (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

Donald thinks that his run’s a solution
To imminent crime-prosecution.
But indictments shall come,
And that law-breaking bum
Will be tried and soon face retribution.

The Key To Trump’s “Success” (Limerick)

Sunday, September 4th, 2022

When I ask myself, “How can it be
That no matter what Donald does, he
Somehow keeps a tight hold
On his fan base,” I’m told
That the answer’s a “huge BOOBOISIE.”

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?

Political Haiku Trio 2

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Dear Dems: DO Something! (Limerick)

Thursday, November 4th, 2021

The shellacking the Dems got this week
Means they’re weak and need more than a tweak.
What they’re doing ain’t working.
Disaster is lurking!
If the Dems don’t shape up, I shall freak.

Trump-Sycophant McCarthy Can’t Handle The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”

When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

NYC’s Board Of Elections Blows It Again (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 30th, 2021

Headline: “New York Mayor’s Race in Chaos After Elections Board Counts 135,000 Test Ballots”

New York’s contest for mayor’s been thrown
Into chaos; its tally’s been blown
By The Board of Elections,
Whose ballot corrections
Will be tainted — the truth deemed unknown.

Trump’s Revenge Tour (Limerick)

Monday, June 28th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s revenge tour begins with eyes on one Ohio Republican”

Boorish Trump’s seeking vengeance on tour.
His goal? Instill fear and ensure
That the pols who defied him
And dare to deride him
Are shunned, cast aside like manure.

Trump’s Donation Scam (Limerick)

Monday, April 5th, 2021

Headline: “How Trump Steered Supporters Into Unwitting Donations”

Donald Trump raked in money; a mint
From his fans, who had nary a hint
Of the sums they had given.
To shock they were driven
By boxes (pre-checked) and small print.

The Meddling “Former Guy” (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

“Republicans are sounding the alarm that his attempts to meddle in primaries could hurt the party’s efforts to win back the majority”

GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.

Obsequious Republicans (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

GOPers are weary and sick
Of defending that scurrilous Dick.
Yet they’re loath to abort
Their debased Trump support.
Are they cowards, or frauds? Take your pick!

Two-Faced Mitch (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

Mitch is trying to have it both ways:
First he joins in the “Don’t Convict!” nays.
Then he spouts a critique
Of Trump’s actions, with pique.
For hypocrisy (rank!) he wants praise?