That diss! How did Nancy unearth it?
It’s the ultimate slam! Did she birth it?
Despite fervent beseeching,
She’s anti-impeaching.
Her reason? Trump just is “not worth it.”
Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”
Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:
Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.
Dear Donald, I see that the state
Of our Union is closed, so the date
That you’re set to appear
In my House (nearly here)
Isn’t great. “Speak” in writing … or wait.
When Pelosi says “no,” she means “NO!”
Trump will NOT get his wall-building dough.
Unlike Donald, she’ll walk
The walk and won’t balk.
Nancy’s toughness is true. Trump’s? Just SHOW!
The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.
Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”
The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.
The odds of a shutdown are growing,
And the BS-packed blame-game is flowing.
Blame Pelosi, they blare.
Schumer! Durbin! I swear,
Those Republican noses are growing.
Headline: “McCarthy calls on incoming Democrats to embrace bipartisanship, not ‘food fight’ or investigations”
Kev McCarthy, of Party-First rule,
Must believe ev’ry Dem is a fool.
Now that Dems run the House,
That hypocrite louse
Touts bipartisanship. What a tool!
Trump had the audacity to threaten the Democrats: He “warned he would not work with Democrats if they continue to support the special counsel investigation and are ‘going to do presidential harassment.’”
Donald’s warnings to Dems are confusing;
Also foolish, bizarre, and amusing:
“Presidential harassment”
Must stop! If the Ass meant
To scare us, he must have been boozing.
Pelosi’s a powerful lass;
I loved how she kicked Donald’s ass.
Then she stomped the insurgents
And conquered deter-gents.
That woman has skills, smarts, and brass.
Some claim Donald was goaded by Chuck
Into owning the shutdown. Good luck
With excuses as lame
As THAT. Who’s to blame
For this misstep? It’s President Schmuck.
In the “fiscal cliff” negotiations, Republicans are irrationally demanding a hike in the Medicare eligibility age — what Nancy Pelosi refers to as “a trophy that the Republicans want.”
As Ezra Klein explains, this would not save money or help solve the health care cost problem, and it would hurt lots of people. Unfortunately, Republicans seem to favor symbolism over substance, and raising the Medicare eligibility age would be “a signal that they won something big on entitlements.”
Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
GOPers want change that ain’t sage:
Raise the Medicare-el’gible age.
This does harm — won’t address
The health care cost mess:
It’s the fruit of entitlements-rage.
Yes, that’s the message of Romney’s latest ad, which depicts Obama as a liberal scourge of the middle class who (judging from the pictures) is in love with Nancy Pelosi.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney is on the attack
With the L-word. Yes, “Lib’ral!” is back.
Here’s the shocking j’accuse:
Lib Obama should lose
Cuz, like Nance, he’ll the middle class whack.
I’m pleased that Harry Reid’s doubled down on his claim that Mitt Romney may not have paid taxes for ten years. And I agree with Nancy Pelosi: If Reid says he has a good source on this, Reid has a good source on this. Unlike Mitt Romney, Reid isn’t a liar.
Instead of making assertions about what’s in his tax returns, Romney needs to follow custom and release his returns. If Romney’s lying about his tax returns now, it wouldn’t be the first time: He was caught lying about his tax returns back in 2002 regarding the critical issue of residency.
Reid v. Romney (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m glad that Reid’s on the attack
And is giving Mitt Romney some flak.
I just wish Harry Reid
In the Senate would lead
With a similar street-fighting knack.
UPDATE: Here’s a second limerick related to this topic:
Harry Reid is not up for election,
So his jab in Mitt Romney’s direction
Is fail-safe of course:
If Reid’s wrong, then his source
Just misled him. Reid’s plan is perfection.
Unlike many of my fellow progressives, I never thought Obama was a liberal. But now I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even a Democrat. In any event, he certainly isn’t a leader.
Needless to say, I’m furious about the Bush tax cut extension deal Obama made with Republicans, and I’m glad that Speaker Pelosi is taking a strong stand against it.
Here’s a pair of limericks about Obama’s abject surrender to the GOP:
A Pair Of Limericks For A Pairless President
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, you’re being a heel
By making this terrible deal.
You’re acting the fool
With this “compromise” gruel
Which will damage our land’s commonweal.
Obama’s demeanor is frayed
He seems ornery, angry, dismayed.
Will he finally fight
The Republican right?
No, he’s mad at the Dems he betrayed.
I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. Here’s a taste of Huckabee’s versification:
Here’s a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a “leaker.”
***
If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it’s Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.
***
Mike Huckabee deserves a limerick, don’t you think?
Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Huck, you’ve no rhythm or rhyme,
And your verse about Nancy’s a crime.
Your ditty ain’t witty.
Your talent is bitty.
Your poetry’s awful. Try mime.
Republicans are truly gifted at changing the subject, and the media falls for it every time. Take CIA torture, for instance. Is the media focusing on who in the Bush administration broke the law and ordered torture? Of course not! Instead, the topic’s morphed into whether Nancy Pelosi is lying when she says the CIA misled Congress about torture.
Following Republican logic is never an easy task. But from what I can gather, here’s the Republican position: Bush’s CIA did nothing wrong, & Pelosi could have and should have stopped them.
In honor of the Republicans tortured position on torture, I’ve written them a theme song to the tune of Stephen Foster’s Camptown Races:
The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA did nothing wrong.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew and went along.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture is always right.
Torture can make our day.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
She could have got in the way.
Interrogation must be tough.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew we got too rough.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Never did break no laws.
Torture? Who, us? No way!
Pelosi’s nothing but a lying hag.
Nancy would lead you astray.
The CIA protects us all.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
It’s time Pelosi took the fall.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture was never done.
Torture is lots of fun.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
Nancy Pelosi should pay.
Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) have been staging yet another temper tantrum. What’s their grievance du jour? Speaker Nancy Pelosi said CIA leaders misled Congress about interrogation techniques.
My Homage To Feigned Outrage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA’s under attack
By the Speaker who gave it a smack.
She accused it of lying.
The GOP’s crying:
She’s mean and must take it all back.
The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
Saturday, May 16th, 2009Republicans are truly gifted at changing the subject, and the media falls for it every time. Take CIA torture, for instance. Is the media focusing on who in the Bush administration broke the law and ordered torture? Of course not! Instead, the topic’s morphed into whether Nancy Pelosi is lying when she says the CIA misled Congress about torture.
Following Republican logic is never an easy task. But from what I can gather, here’s the Republican position: Bush’s CIA did nothing wrong, & Pelosi could have and should have stopped them.
In honor of the Republicans tortured position on torture, I’ve written them a theme song to the tune of Stephen Foster’s Camptown Races:
The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA did nothing wrong.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew and went along.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture is always right.
Torture can make our day.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
She could have got in the way.
Interrogation must be tough.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew we got too rough.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Never did break no laws.
Torture? Who, us? No way!
Pelosi’s nothing but a lying hag.
Nancy would lead you astray.
The CIA protects us all.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
It’s time Pelosi took the fall.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture was never done.
Torture is lots of fun.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
Nancy Pelosi should pay.
Tags: Bush, CIA, Congress Humor, Interrogation, Media, Music, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans Humor, Song Parody, Stephen Foster, Torture, Waterboarding
Posted in CIA Satire, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Iraq War Humor, Media Satire, Pelosi Verse, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies | 4 Comments »