Archive for April, 2009
Sunday, April 26th, 2009
For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check.
Now I live just two miles from the Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York swine flu outbreak at St. Francis Prep School. And I’m all for sending swine flu meds to needy areas like Texas. I just wish Texas didn’t have such a hypocrite for a governor.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Secession? Did I Say Secession?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My Texas is quite independent,
Said Rick Perry — secession-defendant.
Then he called for the feds
To send anti-flu meds.
With hypocrisy Perry’s resplendent.
Tags: Antiviral Medications, Disaster Assistance, Flu Vaccine, Fresh Meadows, Health, Hurricane, Hypocrisy, New York, Queens, Rick Perry, Secession, St. Francis Prep, Swine Flu, Texas
Posted in Health Satire, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Rick Perry, Texas Humor | 11 Comments »
Sunday, April 26th, 2009
On Thursday, Obama sent the filibuster-happy Republicans a message: Their zero-vote obstructionism has consequences. More specifically, Obama plans to use the budget reconciliation process to enact health care reform and student loan legislation if the GOP fails to mend its obstructionist ways.
I thought I’d celebrate Obama’s filibuster-proofing plans with a double limerick:
They Only Have Themselves To Blame
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bipartisanship had a chance.
But the GOP zero-vote stance
Was very instructive.
Their actions obstructive
Derailed any two-party dance.
They’ve clearly expressed their intent,
So as much as they scream and they vent,
We should screw the minority.
Let the majority
Govern how money is spent.
Tags: Bipartisanship, Budget, Budget Reconciliation, Congress Humor, Filibuster, GOP, Health Care, Majority, Minority, Obstructionism, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Student Loans
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor | Comments Off on They Only Have Themselves To Blame
Friday, April 24th, 2009
An Ode To Political Writer’s Block
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve nothing amusing to write
Cuz I feel uninspired tonight.
Yes I’m riled at the press
And our horrible mess,
But my funny bone’s missing its bite.
I’m hoping tomorrow will bring
Some news that will make my wit sing—
That a wingnutty troll
Will do something droll,
And my humor once more will take wing.
Tags: Writer's Block
Posted in Humor Writing, Non-Political Humor, Political Limericks, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha:
Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Under Bush left-dissent equaled treason.
So Republicans claimed without reason.
Now Obama is prez
(A commie Chavez)
And secession is righteous — not teasin’.
Yes Gov. Perry and co. say it’s fine —
This unconstitutional whine:
Secede cuz Barack
Is a Europy Jacques.
Then they pray to Ron Reagan. Divine!
Tags: Constitution, Dissent, Obama, Reagan Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Secession, Texas Humor, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Ronald Reagan, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Monday, April 13th, 2009
Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong.
Such, thankfully, was the case with the loony rantings indulged in by Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck and sundry Fox News personalities who “bet against the Obama administration’s ability to rescue Richard Phillips, the American ship captain who was taken hostage by Somali pirates.”
How those Fox nuts salivated in anticipation of Obama’s failure! And how disappointed they must surely be in the wake of Phillips’ rescue after the Obama-authorized killing of three pirates.
I, for one, don’t expect any gracious apologies any time soon. Do you?
Fox Pundits At Sea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama’s been tested and won.
Three pirates were killed with a gun.
Now will loons who foretold
That he’d fail to be bold
Say they’re sorry, congrats, job well done?
Tags: Cable, Fox, Gingrich, Glenn Beck, Media, Obama, Predictions, Pundits, Richard Phillips, Somali Pirates
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Fox Pundits At Sea
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
At long last, we have an answer to these burning questions: What kind of dog will Obama get daughters Malia and Sasha, and when will he get it? From a plethora of breathless press reports we learn that it’s a male Portuguese water dog puppy named Bo with a Kennedy pedigree.
Next on the press agenda? World peace. But first, a limerick:
Dogged Journalism
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a new White House dog. Stop the presses!
Yes, at last there’s an end to the guesses:
What dog will Obama
Acquire? Next drama:
Just who will clean puppy Bo’s messes?
Tags: Bo, First Dog, Journalism, Kennedy, Malia & Sasha, Media, Obama, Portuguese Water Dog, Press, White House Dog
Posted in Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 6 Comments »
Saturday, April 11th, 2009
I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. But I do have the “on vacation” and “under the weather” excuse.
Texas state representative Betty Brown (R-Terrell, in North Texas) caused a ruckus on Tuesday by saying, during testimony about voter ID legislation, that Asians would have an easier time of getting along if they simply changed their names.
“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”
If anyone deserves a double limerick, it’s Rep. Betty Brown:
Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your name hails from Asia, it’s hard.
So don’t bitch if your ballot is barred.
Said Rep. Brown, “Change your name,”
Cuz your name is to blame
For confusing us. What a canard!
Please take heed if your name’s Cho or Wu,
And here’s what I think you should do:
Simply pity Rep. Brown.
She’s a prejudiced clown.
La femme est chauvine et sans clue.
Tags: Asians, Betty Brown, Chinese, Immigrants, Immigration Humor, Name Changes, Texas, Voter ID
Posted in Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Texas Humor, Voting Satire | 6 Comments »
Rudy’s Family Values
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »