Posts Tagged ‘Rick Perry’

Eagle Scout Perry’s Bald Wingnut Pander (Limerick)

Sunday, February 3rd, 2013

Texas Governor Rick Perry, whose reputation hasn’t recovered from his presidential campaign debacle, is trying to bolster his right-wing cred with an attack on gays. Perry, an Eagle Scout, “said emphatically Saturday that the Boy Scouts of America should not soften its strict policy barring gay members, and dismissed the idea of bending the organization to the whims of ‘popular culture.’”

Eagle Scout Perry’s Bald Wingnut Pander (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A new policy may be conferred
By the Boy Scouts. At least, that’s the word.
But Eagle Scout Rick
Thinks this change would be sick:
He’d keep flipping gay Boy Scouts the bird.

Political Haiku Quartet

Thursday, January 19th, 2012

In case you’re asking
why Rick Perry has dropped out:
Donors talked Turkey.

*****

My head is spinning
from Republican debates.
I’m begging — please stop!

*****

View pols with caution.
Review records and viewpoints.
Behold all the lies.

*****

Brilliance from pols?
No reason to expect it.
Saneness would be nice.

*****

Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

You’ve probably heard that Rick Perry’s idiotic debate remarks, claiming Turkey is run by Islamic terrorists, led to a diplomatic incident. But did you know it inspired George W. Bush to send Rick Perry this limerick?

Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Rick, I’ve been meaning to write,
Cuz I watch you debate with delight.
And your Turkey faux pas:
What a laugh — Ha! Ha! Ha!
Thanks for making me look really bright!

Limerick Ode To Math-Challenged Perry

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Rick Perry’s latest “oops” moment reminds me of this old SNL parody debate line: “It was my understanding that there would be no math.”

I’m referring to Perry’s “impressive” U.S. budget cut pledge:

Rick Perry made another slip on Saturday when he pledged to cut a whopping $5 trillion from President Barack Obama’s proposed budget – a number which is $1.3 million higher than Obama’s total budget, CBS News reported.

Limerick Ode To Math-Challenged Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Perry’s “oops” lines continue to mount.
Of wisdom the guy ain’t a fount:
Touts a huge budget cut
Which exceeds the whole nut.
Guess we don’t need a prez who can count.

Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

A Trump-moderated Republican debate? Even Karl Rove says it’s a terrible idea.

Damn! Me — agreeing with Karl Rove. That’s seriously scary!

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney did the classy thing, for once, adding his name to the list of candidates who’ve declined the Trump Debate Invite. So far, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Romney have declined to participate, while Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have accepted.

Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debate moderation’s an art,
And practitioners need to be smart,
Diplomatic, well versed—
In the topic immersed.
Donald Trump? Not just bad. Off the chart!

UPDATE: Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has come out against the Donald Trump debate, citing as his reason Trump’s ongoing flirtation with an independent run for president. Additionally Perry has now declined his debate invitation.

Herman Cain’s Gone, But The Mockery Carries On (Limerick)

Saturday, December 3rd, 2011

Herman Cain’s Gone, But The Mockery Carries On (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain has dropped out of contention
With his primary contest suspension.
But there’s plenty to mock:
Perry’s gaffes and Mitt’s shock
At the cocky Newt Gingrich ascension.

Limerick Ode To Gaffe-Prone Perry

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

In Rick Perry’s apparent drive to make George W. Bush look like a genius, Perry’s been entertainingly gaffe-prone this week. While campaigning in New Hampshire, Perry managed to screw up both the voting eligibility age and the date of Election Day 2012. The next day, Perry dismissed these errors as proving he was human. He went on to further prove his humanness with a reference to New Hampshire’s non-existent caucuses.

Limerick Ode To Gaffe-Prone Perry
By Madeleine Begun

Dear Rick, I don’t wish to be mean,
But the age one can vote is eighteen.
Where’d you get twenty-one?
And Election Day, hon,
Is the 6th, as most pre-teens could glean.

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Rick Perry’s apparent solution to his inability to debate seems to be: Avoid debates!

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A message from Perry’s team states
He might skip the remaining debates.
Stay in hiding and pout
When you can’t win a bout?
More cratering poll news awaits.

Limerick Ode to Clueless Rick Perry

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Poor Rick Perry is having a rough time. First, he’s forced to walk back his pro-Birther “I don’t have a clue about … what his birth certificate says” comments. Next, he’s reduced to silence on Fox Business when told he sounds “like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.”

Limerick Ode To Clueless Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Perry’s not-a-clue line caused ado.
Anti-Birthers are starting to stew.
But in Perry’s behalf,
It’s not really a gaffe
Cuz it’s true: Perry hasn’t a clue.

Eight 4-Liners For The Republican Contenders

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.

I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:

Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.

*****

Herman “9-9-9″ Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.

*****

James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.

*****

Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?

*****

Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.

*****

Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.

*****

Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.

*****

Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.

*****

The Crass Chris Christie Craze (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

The Republican powers-that-be never liked Mitt Romney. And they’re beginning to panic over Rick Perry’s abysmal debate performances. So they’re back to wooing the obnoxious New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, despite his lengthy list of flaws:

The Crass Chris Christie Craze (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some powerful GOP men
Are wooing Chris Christie again.
So why do these guys
Think a Chris-run is wise?
They’ve contracted a nasty-man yen.

Wooing The Donald (Limerick)

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Just when you thought they couldn’t stoop any lower, Republican presidential wannabes like Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, and Michele Bachmann are lining up to kiss Donald Trump’s … uh … ring. After all, nothing says presidential like a Donald Trump endorsement.

Wooing The Donald (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans hope for a bump
In their polls if endorsed by Don Trump.
Here’s a warning for those
Who are kissing his toes:
Self-promotion’s “Goal 1″ for that grump.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Certain media people are doing Rick Perry a huge favor by lowering the bar with tales of Perry being a lousy debater.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When press people lower the bar,
They enable a pol to go far.
Exceed expectations,
Then get more ovations,
And become a political star.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

When a candidate tries to distance himself from, say, his doctoral thesis, or a book written a dozen years ago, this passes the straight-face test.

But when Rick Perry tries this with Fed Up! (a book published last fall) it’s hard not to laugh out loud.

Perry’s problem, of course, is that his book is packed with extreme positions, too radical even for his own Republican party. So Perry’s campaign would have us believe that Perry’s Social Security is unconstitutional position from last year is no longer operative. The same goes for his call to repeal the 16th amendment and replace income taxes with a national sales tax.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Perry, that book you’d disclaim
Was written by you — you’re to blame.
And it’s new — ink’s not dry.
Yet you’re wondering why
We’re on to your radical game.

Limerick Ode To Rick Perry

Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has sure had a busy few days. Not only has he thrown himself into the Republican presidential contest, but he’s threatened Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke with violence and accused him of treason. And let’s not forget this beaut: Perry implied that President Obama isn’t “in love” with America. That’s pretty nervy, coming from a fellow who’s touted Texas secession.

Limerick Ode To Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Perry, to threaten the Fed
With vi’lence ain’t good for your cred.
And throwing around
The word treason ain’t sound
For secession proponents. ‘Nuff said.

Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

I’m constantly running into Tenth Amendment states’ rights hypocrisy, most often concerning abortion rights and same sex marriage. Texas Governor Rick Perry is but the latest example: He’s now calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and abortion.

Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Perry’s a fan of states’ rights:
10th amendment — he loves its delights.
But gay marriage? Abortion?
Please brace for contortion:
He’d smite them through federal fights.

Secession? Did I Say Secession?

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check.

Now I live just two miles from the Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York swine flu outbreak at St. Francis Prep School. And I’m all for sending swine flu meds to needy areas like Texas. I just wish Texas didn’t have such a hypocrite for a governor.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Secession? Did I Say Secession?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My Texas is quite independent,
Said Rick Perry — secession-defendant.
Then he called for the feds
To send anti-flu meds.
With hypocrisy Perry’s resplendent.

Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha:

Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Under Bush left-dissent equaled treason.
So Republicans claimed without reason.
Now Obama is prez
(A commie Chavez)
And secession is righteous — not teasin’.

Yes Gov. Perry and co. say it’s fine —
This unconstitutional whine:
Secede cuz Barack
Is a Europy Jacques.
Then they pray to Ron Reagan. Divine!