Posts Tagged ‘Ben Carson’

Ben Carson’s No Slave To Accuracy (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017

When HUD Secretary Ben Carson was criticized for conflating slaves and immigrants, he complained that his words had been misconstrued. Unfortunately, however, Carson has a long history of referring to slaves as immigrants. So he’s earned himself this limerick:

Slaves forcibly shipped to our nation
(Per Ben Carson’s REPEATED conflation)
Were immigrants. Wow!
Offensive? And how!
Has his brain suffered O2 privation?

With Pals Like Ben Carson… (Limerick)

Friday, March 25th, 2016

I love this Ben Carson quote from his appearance on “The View:”

He also declined to refute charges from the hosts of the show that Trump is a liar, saying only, “tell me a politician who doesn’t tell lies?”

When he’s asked: Isn’t Donald a liar?
Ain’t it true that his pants are fire?
Carson’s tepid reply
Is: What pol doesn’t lie?
What inspiring praise from Trump’s choir!

The GOP’s Thorny Path Backward (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2016

Ben Carson is apparently dropping out of the Republican presidential contest. But Marco Rubio and John Kasich are desperately hanging on. And the GOP needs a two (evil) man race between Trump and Ted in order to have any shot at a non-Trump nominee.

I feel the Republicans’ pain.
They keep failing to halt Donald’s gain.
So unless they persuade
All but Ted to downgrade
Their ambitions, their clout’s down the drain.

The State of the Republican Race (Limerick)

Thursday, February 11th, 2016

We’ve three Js in the race: Jeb, Jim, John.
(Bush and Gilmore and Kasich ain’t gone.)
Sleepy Ben, Grumpy Trump,
Cruz, and Marco still stump,
As the GOP con game drones on.

7 Candidates In 5 Lines (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”

Shedding Tears For Ben Carson? (Limerick)

Monday, November 9th, 2015

The “liberal bias” lie is in full bloom this election cycle. And in its latest manifestation, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and Hugh Hewitt would have us believe that the press is being really mean to Ben Carson, while treating Hillary Clinton with kid gloves.

Of course such assertions are so laughable, even Joe Scarborough is mocking them.

Hugh Hewitt and Reince look askance
At the Ben Carson cov’rage. Their stance:
It’s a lib-press vendetta!
Hill’s treated much bettah!
(Even Joe isn’t buying their rants.)

Why Should Ben Carson Captain Our Ship Of State? (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 4th, 2015

Carson’s dearth of credentials is stark,
And being the prez ain’t a lark.
But just mention his lack,
Ben’s response will be whack:
He says “amateurs built [Noah’s] Ark.”

Ben Carson’s full Twitter quote is: “It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was the professionals that built the Titanic.”

About Those Polls (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 27th, 2015

Four recent polls (3 in Iowa, 1 national) show Ben Carson ahead of Trump, prompting Trump to claim that polls with so many candidates aren’t very scientific.

Unless they show Trump ahead, of course.

When The Donald tops polls, they’re “terrific!”
He runs second? They’re “unscientific.”
Cuz when Trump’s on the stump,
Though his number’s might slump,
His ego-laced lines stay prolific.

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t be duped by Ben Carson’s soft tone.
His positions should chill to the bone.
Though he never sounds peckish,
His views are Glenn-Beckish–
Ben’s top dog in the dog-whistle zone.

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson

Thursday, August 20th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Carson’s soft-spoken drone is misleading.
To extremists, there’s nothing he’s ceding:
As prez he would order
Drone strikes at our border.
My prescription? Ben’s brain could use treating.

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 30th, 2015

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.

Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”