Posts Tagged ‘Media’

Dear Alex Jones (Limerick)

Saturday, April 22nd, 2017

An Alex Jones request, apparently made without any sense of irony:

“Alex Jones releases statement on his ongoing custody trial: ‘I urge the press to be respectful and responsible.'”

Dear Alex, you threw us a curve
And proved you still have quite the nerve
In requesting respect.
Hope the press will elect
To bestow the respect you deserve.

Bill O’Reilly? Buh-Bye!

Wednesday, April 19th, 2017

O’Reilly is OUT? Don’t appease me
And tease me with rumors that please me.
Oh it’s trending on Twitter?
I’ll giggle and titter:
Schadenfreude such news guarantees me.

The White House Drip (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 8th, 2017

Donald’s reign is a journalist’s dream;
It’s so sievelike — it leaks in a stream.
But the White House so leaky
Fills Trump with such pique, he
Keeps bleating his stale, “fake news” theme.

Dear Media: Stop Already with the “Jeb’s The Sane Republican” Meme!

Wednesday, July 29th, 2015

Jeb’s the cure for the GOP mess
Cuz he’s civil — so sayeth the press.
Yet as gov, Jeb was rotten!
Is Schiavo forgotten?
Jeb’s transgressions caused tragic distress.

Limerick Ode To Mike Wallace (1918-2012)

Sunday, April 8th, 2012

RIP Mike Wallace!

Limerick Ode To Mike Wallace
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mike Wallace, a man without peer,
As a journalist often struck fear
In villainous hearts
With persistence and smarts.
Let us toast his distinguished career.

Now Playing On My Other Blog

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

If you’d like a break from politics, my other (general humor) blog has a pair of limericks about the Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, NBC controversy and about Simon Cowell’s decision to leave American Idol.

“Short On Facts” Fox

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. Fox News Live Desk’s Trace Gallagher seems especially fond of it, making repeated (and inaccurate) comparisons to Tolstoy’s War and Peace. (Well, we always knew that Fox is fond of fiction.)

“Short On Facts” Fox (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When on substance your grasp just ain’t strong,
Simply bitch that the health bill’s too long.
War and Peace is much shorter,”
Rants Trace (Fox “reporter”),
And even on that Fox is wrong.

Heinous Heenes?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Last week I managed to avoid the Balloon Boy media frenzy. Reality show participants with an endangered child on an AWOL helium balloon? Yeah … right. Then again, I don’t spend my time watching kids being rescued from wells either.

In any event, I’m not surprised that Wife Swap participants (and reality TV series pitchers) Richard and Mayumi Heene may be arrested for “concocting a publicity stunt by pretending that their young son [Falcon] had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the skies above Fort Collins, Colo.”

The Heenes’ lawyer David Lane expects the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office to file charges this week, and Denver man Robert Thomas says Richard Heene gave him advance word of a media stunt.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Heinous Heenes?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Two publicity mongers named Heene
Are accused of a hoax quite obscene:
Claimed their wayward balloon
Held their child. Opportune
For a shot at “reality” green.

Update: I’ve heard the Heenes’ name pronounced three different ways, two of which screw up my rhyme scheme. Since I’m not sure which pronunciation is correct, I guess I’ll leave my limerick up as written.

Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. The Americano, a news site for Hispanic-Americans, is a transparent effort to lure memory-impaired Latinos over to the GOP.

A two-verse limerick in honor of the hypocritical Newt Gingrich:

Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a long-standing view from the right:
Education bilingual’s a blight.
That’s how Newt has opined.
Dearest Newt, changed your mind?
Quite the pander — your bilingual site.

Guess you’re hoping Latinos forget
Your stance that bilingual’s all wet,
That they’ll vote GOP.
But Latinos shall see
Through your bilingual lies on the Net.

Related Posts: Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks; and Ode To Fresh Faces

Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

I may be a non-practicing Jew, but I’m deeply offended by Glenn Beck’s attempt to co-opt and politicize Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Beck, you are bad to the bone,
So it’s time that you start to atone.
And stop trying to steal
Jewish holy days. Heel!
Kindly leave all my people alone.

UPDATE: Don Davis says: Forget Yom Kippur, Glenn Beck Declares A National Circumcision Day.

Related Post: Bill O’Reilly’s Faux War On Christmas — Song Parody

Ode To The White House Fashion Police

Friday, August 21st, 2009

The White House fashion police are at it again: First Lady Michelle Obama was caught wearing shorts on her way to a Grand Canyon vacation! The horror!

Ode To The White House Fashion Police (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Once again I just can’t help but frown
At the journalists going to town:
“The First Lady wore shorts,”
Blare the breathless reports.
Please Michelle, when you hike wear a gown.

Related Post: Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone

Translating Sarah

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Why does Sarah Palin need to be Alaska’s governor, when she has Facebook?

Translating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The media’s mean, so I quit:
(That’s the message that Palin has writ.)
And you don’t need a title
To do something vital.
I’m betting she runs against Mitt.

De-Moralized?

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake.

A double limerick, just for Rush Limbaugh:

De-Moralized?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.

When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!

Not So Belle

Monday, June 15th, 2009

I tend to avoid embroilment in comment fights. But Sunday was an exception.

Over at Facebook (I’m at facebook.com/madkane, should you wish to befriend me) a George Stephanopoulos post had drawn some really crazed comments. The topic was the Sarah Palin / David Letterman brouhaha, and I couldn’t resist chiming in with this comment:

He was clearly referring to Palin’s unwed-mother/18 year old daughter, who apparently has become a spokesperson for abstinence and is in the public eye thanks to Palin’s actions. He apologized. Palin, instead of accepting his apology in a classy fashion, continues to distort and exploit what he said.

Nine minutes later an outraged woman named (I kid you not) Belle Blessing posted this over-the-top response:

Madelin, maybe you like perverts hanging out their tongues at your daughter or maybe you even offer her up to them. The majority of this American nation who still have their moral values in tack…don’t want the perverts giving second glance. The foundation that this country was founded on had higher moral values than letting the dirt bag over 50 population treat women and girls like sex slaves. The perverts should stick to passing toilet paper under the wall and picking up on other perverted men.

In an exercise of extreme self-control, I posted just this in response:

Dear Belle, I hope you and Sarah Palin will be very happy together. :)

Aren’t you impressed with my self-control?

Not so fast!

Twenty minutes later I just couldn’t help myself. Ms. Belle deserved a limerick, so I posted this:

There once was a woman named Belle,
Who believed I was destined for hell.
So self-righteous was she,
She condemned me with glee
And an arrogance no one could quell.

I feel much better now.

Hannity Insanity

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded “alternate reality” than Fox’s Sean Hannity. Columnist Dick Polman provides an excellent example:

On his Fox show one week ago, Sean Hannity told his credulous fans that President Obama had made a deliberate effort during his Cairo speech “to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” … Hannity even backed up his reporting by airing a video clip from the speech, with Obama saying: “I am aware that there are still some that would question or even justify the events of 9/11.”

… Hannity’s video clip of Obama was truncated after that single quoted sentence, omitting everything that followed. Here’s what Obama said next, none of which was aired for the Fox viewers:

“But let us be clear. Al Qaeda killed nearly 3000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people … These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” …

For that outrageous deception alone, Sean Hannity deserves a limerick:

Hannity Insanity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Hannity
Who strutted and showed off his vanity.
From his Fox chair he lied,
Took his fans for a ride,
And showed utter disdain for humanity.

Ode To Mark Krikorian

Friday, May 29th, 2009

The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. Apparently, its pronunciation doesn’t sufficiently conform to Krikorian’s Anglo standards. So what’s his solution? He pronounces it any old way he feels like it. And he thinks the rest of us should do the same.

Krikorian argued that the proper pronunciation, preferred by the judge and her family, is “unnatural in English,” and “something we shouldn’t be giving in to.” It wasn’t clear which group of people constituted “we.”

Krikorian added that “newcomers” should “adapt” to how “countrymen say your name.” To do otherwise would be a failure of “multiculturalism.” He knows how to pronounce the Supreme Court nominee’s name, but he doesn’t like it, and would like others to join him in pronouncing it incorrectly.

After catching some well-deserved flack about these comments, Krikorian further embarrassed himself with this:

While in the past there may well have been too much social pressure for what sociologists call Anglo-conformity, now there isn’t enough. I think that’s a concern that most Americans share at some level, which is the root of the angst over excessive immigration, bilingual education, official English, etc.

If anyone deserves a limerick, it’s Mark Krikorian:

Ode To Mark Krikorian
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Pronouncing some names can be tough.
When they’re foreign they’re weird and they’re rough.
Yes, Krikorian’s right.
Krik, they’re really a blight.
So one syllable’s surely enough.

Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

It’s simple enough to avoid Judge Sonia Sotomayor smear-tweets like these:

White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw.

Imagine a judicial nominee said “my experience as a white man makes me better than a latina woman” new racism is no better than old racism.

Just be sure not to follow Newt Gingrich’s Twitter feed.

If only it were as easy to dodge Newt on TV, in print, and on the Net.

And that brings me to my latest song parody, which you can sing to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:

Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks.
News cos eagerly come through.
They don’t care his claims ain’t true.

Gleefully he airs his lies,
Spreading venom, media buys.
Watch the ousted Newt proclaim,
Sonia is just a racist dame.

Darkly, Gingrich spews his views.
Can’t avoid him on the news.

Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Monday, May 25th, 2009

The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. Of course, to have even a shot at avoiding their tortured lies, I’d have to cancel my Net connection, throw out my radios, and avert my eyes in the unlikely event that I encounter a newspaper.

Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a daughter named Liz
Who joined in the family biz.
The business was lying,
With all members vying
For liar-in-chief — each a wiz.

The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

Republicans are truly gifted at changing the subject, and the media falls for it every time. Take CIA torture, for instance. Is the media focusing on who in the Bush administration broke the law and ordered torture? Of course not! Instead, the topic’s morphed into whether Nancy Pelosi is lying when she says the CIA misled Congress about torture.

Following Republican logic is never an easy task. But from what I can gather, here’s the Republican position: Bush’s CIA did nothing wrong, & Pelosi could have and should have stopped them.

In honor of the Republicans tortured position on torture, I’ve written them a theme song to the tune of Stephen Foster’s Camptown Races:

The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The CIA did nothing wrong.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew and went along.
Oh, de doo-da day.

Torture is always right.
Torture can make our day.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
She could have got in the way.

Interrogation must be tough.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew we got too rough.
Oh, de doo-da day.

Never did break no laws.
Torture? Who, us? No way!
Pelosi’s nothing but a lying hag.
Nancy would lead you astray.

The CIA protects us all.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
It’s time Pelosi took the fall.
Oh, de doo-da day.

Torture was never done.
Torture is lots of fun.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
Nancy Pelosi should pay.

Two Dicks

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh have been having quite the love fest lately. Of course, they’ve always been in bed together:

Dick and Rush,
And Rush and Dick—
The only real Republicans.
They really click.
The soulless man for Dick is Rush,
And Rush for Dick.
Love lying together.

(My apologies to the The Turtles.)