Archive for the ‘Marco Rubio’ Category

Cruz Campaign Up To Its Old, Dirty Tricks (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2016

Here we go again: “Rubio camp accuses Cruz of ‘dirty tricks’ over Hawaii ‘dropout’ email.”

Dirty tricks before votes — Oy gevalt!
Yet another election assault!
And it’s always Ted’s team
That’s behind the false meme.
Yet somehow it’s never Ted’s fault.

GOP Debates, Then And Now (2-Verse Limerick)

Monday, March 7th, 2016

Campaign debates used to be boring,
And could lead to some serious snoring;
As the pols prattled on
Going hither and … yawn…
I was known to nod off on the flooring.

But debates are quite diff’rent this year;
On the GOP side you will hear
Words that won’t let you sleep
And just might make you weep,
As the bullies hurl slurs, leer, and sneer.

GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 5th, 2016

I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:

Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.

Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.

The GOP’s Thorny Path Backward (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2016

Ben Carson is apparently dropping out of the Republican presidential contest. But Marco Rubio and John Kasich are desperately hanging on. And the GOP needs a two (evil) man race between Trump and Ted in order to have any shot at a non-Trump nominee.

I feel the Republicans’ pain.
They keep failing to halt Donald’s gain.
So unless they persuade
All but Ted to downgrade
Their ambitions, their clout’s down the drain.

Pot, Meet Kettle (Limerick)

Sunday, February 14th, 2016

Says Rubio: “Cruz is a liar.”
I concur: Cruz’s pants are on fire.
But Ted’s hardly alone;
GOPers are prone
To eschew any truth in their choir.

The State of the Republican Race (Limerick)

Thursday, February 11th, 2016

We’ve three Js in the race: Jeb, Jim, John.
(Bush and Gilmore and Kasich ain’t gone.)
Sleepy Ben, Grumpy Trump,
Cruz, and Marco still stump,
As the GOP con game drones on.

Limerick Ode To Chris “Suicide Bomber” Christie

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Chris Christie’s not feeling the bliss.
For while mauling that pup
Christie blew himself up;
His reward in New Hampshire? Big diss!

7 Candidates In 5 Lines (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”

Trump Trumped In Iowa (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

I’m certain “The Donald” is mad.
He’s a “LOSER” to Cruz, and I’d add,
More embarrassing yet
Is his delegate net;
It did NOT exceed Marco’s. Poor lad!

Yes, not only did Cruz beat Trump by 3.3 percent, but Marco Rubio was only 1.2 percent behind Trump, tying him in terms of delegate yields:

Ted Cruz’s victory in the Iowa caucuses means he’ll collect eight delegates to the Republican National Convention.

Donald Trump and Marco Rubio each get seven from the opening contest in the 2016 presidential race.

I’m No Shrink, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, September 24th, 2015

Says Rubio, “Trump’s insecure.”
That assessment does have some allure.
Is the braggart and gloater
And slick self-promoter
Disguising the fact he’s unsure?

I’m no shrink, so I shouldn’t opine,
But I will. (I’ve been drinking some Rhine.)
Compensation for lacks
Could explain his attacks.
Armchair-whining is done — need more wine.

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 30th, 2015

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.

Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”

Minimum Wage Wars (Limerick)

Thursday, March 19th, 2015

The Republican presidential contender position re federal minimum wage ranges from abolition (Rick Perry and Marco Rubio) to keeping it frozen at $7.25 forever (Jeb Bush’s clarified position, according to the AP.)

Minimum Wage Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shall we raise the fed minimum wage?
Just the thought makes Republicans rage.
Then there’s Rubio and Perry
Who’d love to make merry
By scrapping that federal gauge.

Limerick Ode To Peter King

Friday, March 1st, 2013

Some article titles say it all: “Pete King Can’t Believe Rubio Has the ‘Balls’ to Fundraise in New York.”

Here’s Rep. Peter King, a conservative Republican who represents much of Long Island, New York:

“Being from New York we’re not supposed to be suckers,” Mr. King told Politicker this morning. “It’s bad enough that these guys voted against it, that’s inexcusable enough. But to have the balls to come in and say, ‘We screwed you now make us president?’”

Limerick Ode To Peter King
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear wealthy New Yorkers, says King,
Do not give any money or bling
To a pol who said “no”
To the Storm Sandy dough.
I agree, which feels odd — King’s right-wing.

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.

Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.

I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.

But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:

“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”

Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”

“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.

Mitt Romney’s Sunken Ship Blues (Limerick)

Saturday, November 17th, 2012

I know that I shouldn’t indulge in Schadenfreude, but I can’t help myself: Watching the Republican rats desert Mitt Romney’s sinking ship is immensely entertaining! And in my defense, Gail Collins seems to be enjoying it too.

Mitt Romney’s Sunken Ship Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is now on the outs.
Having lost in a rout, Romney pouts,
Making whiny remarks,
Giving GOP sharks
An excuse for disownership shouts.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gave a speech today at the Brookings Institution. His appearance featured this amusing gaffe:

“I left my last page of the speech, does anyone have my last page? Did I Ieave it with you?”

Now such a slip-up wouldn’t ordinarily be limerick-worthy. However, Rubio seems to have a “glass house” problem:

Rubio calls President Obama “the most articulate and talented teleprompter reader in America,” a line that drew big laughter and applause in East Manatee.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How ironic that Rubio’s known
To have thrown a speech-mockery stone
At Barack. It’s self-bruising
And rather amusing
When Rubio screws up his own.