Archive for the ‘Fiscal Policy’ Category

Sundry National Emergency Humor

Tuesday, February 19th, 2019

Donald Trump breaches
separation of powers–
Republicans shrug.

*****

How To Lose A Case:

1. Declare national emergency.

2. Say “I didn’t need to do this,” as your lawyers tear their remaining hair out.

3. Stand by for courts to agree that you, indeed, “didn’t need to do this.”

*****

Unpersuadable,
Impervious to the facts–
That’s Donald Trump’s base.

*****
Today, Lindsey Graham defended Trump’s unconstitutional “national emergency” declaration:

“Let’s just say for a moment that he took some money out of the military construction budget,” Graham said. “I would say it’s better for the middle-school kids in Kentucky to have a secure border. We’ll get them the school they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.

What’s next for Lindsey Graham? Any day now, we just might be hearing this:

“Let’s just say for a moment that the President executed Nancy Pelosi, the person most responsible for blocking his wall.

“Yes, that would be unfortunate. But I would say it’s better for middle-school kids and all Americans to have a secure border. We’ll get them the new House Speaker they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.”

*****

DONALD TRUMP: “We will have a national emergency and we will then be sued and they will sue us in the 9th circuit, even though it shouldn’t be there…”

Hey Donald, if you don’t want cases to go to the 9th Circuit, stop screwing California.

*****

Trump’s Fake Emergency Power Grab (Limerick)

Friday, February 15th, 2019

A fake crisis; Trump seizes more power,
As obsequious ass-kissers cower.
He raids Pentagon cash
And a FEMA funds stash,
And democracy dies by the hour.

The GOP Tax Scam (Limerick)

Monday, February 11th, 2019

Headline: “Many Stunned to Get Smaller Tax Refunds”

As our warnings re tax cuts come true,
Donald’s base is beginning to rue
That tax plan they backed.
They were duped. It’s a fact;
Those “big refunds” are NOT coming through.

Limerick Ode to our Blame-Shirker-In-Chief

Monday, December 24th, 2018

Headline: “Stock Market Rout Has Trump Fixated on Fed Chair Powell

Says Donald, The Fed is at fault
For the stock market’s large downward vault.
Blame Powell, he’ll blurt,
Throwing mud to subvert
The truth, via “facts” that are alt.

Trump’s Pre-Election Middle Class Tax-Cut Con (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Headline: “Mnuchin Backs Off Trump’s Promise of 10% Middle-Class Tax Cut”

Just before the most recent election,
Donald tweeted a base-bait confection,
Falsely pledging a boon
For the middle class — soon!
Phantom tax cuts – a Trump misdirection.

Trumpy Wonderland

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

With apologies to Winter Wonderland’s composers:

Tariffs mount. Markets plummet.
Pundits spin. Goodbye summit.
The Donald’s a nut
Who praises his gut.
Living in a Trumpy Blunderland.

Dow Doldrums (Limerick)

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

“The market keeps dropping!” we sob.
And there’s no reassurance from Schwab.
We feel robbed and depressed
And impossibly stressed.
Here’s my message to Donald: Great job!

Trump Blunders Yet Again (Limerick)

Thursday, March 8th, 2018

Trump’s determined to screw up our trade,
Signing orders most experts have nayed,
Foisting tariffs with zest,
Cuz The Donald knows BEST,
And the Dunce-In-Chief Must Be Obeyed!

Gary Cohn, Bye-Bye (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2018

Yet another departure! Now Cohn
Has resigned. Say goodbye to the lone
Voice of reason on trade.
Since this rational aide
Can no longer persuade, coop’s been flown.

The Devil In The Oval? (Limerick)

Friday, February 2nd, 2018

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
Now it’s down “666,”
But Trump’s got a fix:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

*****
Alternative Version:

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
With a huge diminution,
Here’s Donald’s solution:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

Greed Trumps All (Limerick)

Saturday, December 16th, 2017

Headline: “Donald Trump And GOP Leaders Could Be Enriched By Last Minute Tax Break Inserted Into Final Bill”

Corker’s tax “reform” “yes”-vote’s a blow!
So why did he switch it from “no?”
Mega real estate owners
(Like Corker) got boners
From a tax break that’s worth mega dough.

The Great Tax “Reform” Con (Limerick)

Saturday, December 16th, 2017

The tax “reform” process was stealthy,
And its impact’s acutely unhealthy.
The damage is clear;
We’ll lose ALL we hold dear,
As the rich become even more wealthy.

Remember Deficit Hawks? (Limericks)

Thursday, September 28th, 2017

Dear Republican Deficit Hawks:
We’re awaiting your screams and your squawks.
Never mind my verse preface; it’s
Clear only deficits
Grown under Dems are a pox.

Limericks & Sundry Humor (July and August 2017)

Sunday, August 27th, 2017

I’ve gathered into a single batch loads of limericks and other (mostly Trump-related) humor I wrote during the summer of 2017, while recovering from wrist surgery:

*****
I suspect there’s a hole in Trump’s soul;
Donald pardoned a bigoted troll,
Deeming racism kosher.
(What act could be gaucher?)
Bias AIN’T just okay. It’s Trump’s goal.

*******

An unqualified Trump aide named Gorka,
Who’s despised by most ev’ry New Yorkuh,
Has been dumped. Will he rail
In a big pay-day tale?
I’m betting his story’s a corkuh.

*********

Alas, Harvey is fixing to mow
Through Texas, a menacing blow.
Trump’s FEMA’s done little;
Just talk laced with spittle.
But at least, Donald’s helped Sheriff Joe.

*****

Life With Mark and Madeleine:

Mark: I love NPR, except for late afternoons.

Madeleine: What’s the problem?

Mark: Each time I tune in, I hear the same damn story!

Madeleine: Maybe they should call it “One Thing Considered.”

*****

“Alex Jones calls Charlottesville violence a false flag, because alternative facts are still a thing”

What to do when your allies are caught
Doing wrong, and you fear all’s for naught?
There’s the Infowars’ chestnut:
Yes Jones is the best nut
To hatch “false flag” claims, overwrought.

*****

Oval Office blight;
Hope’s plummeting out of sight.
Can’t succumb to plight!

*****

I have run out of patience with those
Who voted for Trump. Your vote blows!
If you still like the guy,
Please do NOT explain why.
I don’t care; You’re to blame for our woes!

*****

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “The President is probably one of the strongest presidents we’ve had on economic issues.”

So true! Which Is why I can’t wait for Trump’s forthcoming treatise:

Strong Dollar/ Weak Dollar: Which One’s Better?

*****

Trump Advisor: A quick question, Mr. President, before you leave for golf: Any thoughts on naming an Ambassador to South Korea?

Trump: Absolutely not! No ambassador until they stop building nukes!

Trump Advisor: Sir, I’m pretty sure North Korea’s the one with the nukes.

Trump: Double check and get back to me. But first, where are my clubs?

*****

“POTUS has been briefed on [Hurricane] Harvey’s progress, as well as preparations, by his Homeland Security Advisor, Tom Bossert.”

Bossert: Harvey’s headed to Texas, but things are under…

Trump: Paul Harvey! Great radio guy! But isn’t he dead?

*****

Trump’s White House (from Cab Secs to VEEP)
Is so lawless, I just want to weep.
Take the Hatch Act; Ben’s speech
Last night was a breach.
My advice? Plead “I spoke in my sleep.”

(Ben Carson Hatch Act Phoenix Rally)

*****

“Trump to Congress: Fund the Wall or I’ll Shut the Government”

Donald thinks he has magical powers
To bully, till ev’ryone cowers:
“Build my wall!” (His first love)
“Or I’ll shut down the gov!”
No, not Mexico’s government! Ours!

*****

Trump’s Phoenix Rally

Yet another divisive Trump rally!
(Donald’s held way too many to tally.)
He was crazy, yet boring;
I swear I heard snoring,
As hundreds skipped Donald’s finale.

*****

Photo of the Day: “President Trump stares straight into solar eclipse without glasses”

The eclipse had us viewing our skies,
But ev’ryone knows it ain’t wise
To stare at the sun
While the moon’s having fun;
So dear Donald, good luck with your eyes.

*****

Our Naval destroyer collides.
Ten sailors are lost in the tides.
Trump is asked, as the Prez,
To comment, and says:
“That’s too bad!” What a lift he provides!

*****

Mar-a-Lago keeps losing events,
Reducing Trump’s dollars and cents;
Non-profits galore
Wish to be there no more.
Schadenfreude? My case is immense!

*****

Modest Proposal 4 Trump’s Afghanistan speech:

Declare victory. Take credit. Announce immediate withdrawal.

What’s another Trump lie?

*****

Though Trump skirts the truth to the max,
With an attitude far worse than lax,
He defended delaying
Tough statements by braying:
Before speaking, “I like to know facts.”

*****

Both sides good!
Both sides bad!
Me like facts!
Fake media’s mad!

*****

Dear Trump, don’t expect me to cheer
Today’s speech; your reluctance was clear.
Condemnation delayed
Simply won’t make the grade.
Sneers and jeers for your words insincere!

*****

Me great president!
Racism bad!!!
Everyone happy now?
Can I go back to golf?

*****

The Donald’s an arrogant fool
Who possesses just one tiny tool:
The dominance game,
Which is best not to aim
At someone who’s equally cruel.

*****
Trump & North Korea Haiku

“Fire!” “Fury!”
“Locked and Loaded!”
Adolescent bullies, goaded.

*****

Bombings tend to make Trump go to town;
He’ll speak out and he’ll tweet and he’ll frown!
But he’s yet to decry
Friday’s mosque attack. Why?
Have Twitter and Facebook been down?

*****

Seems that Pence has been caught at ambition,
A perilous White House condition.
Pence denies it, of course.
Will Trump force a “divorce,”
As suspicion incites trust attrition?

*****

“Is the Donald about to ‘reset?'”
That’s a query I simply don’t get.
Yet the press loves to ask it.
Instead, I would task it:
Truly cover our national threat.

*****

The Trump presidency could be just the thing that converts me from agnostic to atheist.

*****

Dear Head of the Boy Scouts, explain
Trump’s invasion inside your domain
With a broadside so mad,
You said “Sorry! My bad!”
Tell me: Why would you think he’d act sane?

*****

If Trump’s White House is a “fine-tuned machine,” mark me down for a jalopy.

*****

Sean Spicer has fled from his box,
So the White House is losing his vox,
Which was often embattled;
He lied and he prattled…
Skills soon to be transferred to Fox?

*****

A visit from “Donald, the Cad”
To London’s postponed; the poor lad
Heard that protests were planned,
Making Trump feel unmanned.
Demonstration-fears stopping him? Sad!

*****

Junk health insurance—
Just what the doctor ordered.

*****

Dear Jared, you’ll soon be in hock
To your lawyers, who bill round the clock.
Will they help you to skate?
I say prison’s your fate,
As a chip off the old Kushner block.

*****

Trump’s Voter Fraud “Investigator” Demands State Voter Records, And States Ain’t Happy:

“Just what are they trying to hide?”
Trump’s response, when most states won’t abide
By vile records demands;
Voter privacy stands
Somehow wrong? Trump’s returns, still un-eyed.

*****

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Phantom Tax Bill

Saturday, June 3rd, 2017

Add this Trump “tax bill” lie to your list
Of assertions deservedly dissed:
It’s “in Congress” and “moving
Along,” he says proving
Non-bills can trump those that exist.

Trump’s Con Man Budget (Limerick)

Thursday, May 25th, 2017

A TWO trillion dollar mistake?
Really more, cuz the “growth gain” is fake.
But such cons are expected
When crooks are elected.
Please don’t tell me you STILL like that snake.

Dear Media: Trump ISN’T A Populist, So Stop Calling Him One! (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

Does anyone else cringe when the media calls Trump a “populist?” I suggest these, instead: “purported populist,” “fake populist,” “alleged populist,” just-pretend populist,” or “faux populist.”

A “faux populist” con hurtled Trump
To the White House, the votes from each chump
Gained by promises made
That he’d come to their aid;
Bigly duped by a fraud on the stump.

The President Who Cried “Country Needs A Good ‘Shutdown'” (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

What happens when your own party concludes you’re an untrustworthy negotiating partner? They make a deal with the Dems, and leave you out of the process.

That’s precisely what happened with the budget, and Trump’s been tweeting his unhappiness: “Our country needs a good ‘shutdown’ in September to fix mess.”

A government shutdown is needed,
Tweets Donald, who’s feeling defeated;
The untrustworthy heel
Was left out of the deal
By his party — reality heeded.

Is Trump Plastered?

Tuesday, March 28th, 2017

Trump claims that he never drinks alcohol. But proposing to spend one billion dollars on 62 miles of wall is surely proof he’s plastered:

This ludicrous price won’t draw smiles:
One billion for sixty-two miles
Of Trump’s Mexican wall?
Yes that’s dollars! Stand tall:
Not one dime for his worthless shit piles.

Trump’s Wall (Limerick)

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

Yikes! Trump’s proposed budget pays for his pet wall by raiding the TSA, FEMA, and Coast Guard budgets.

Remember Trump’s thunderous call
For a Mexico-financed “great wall?”
Coast Guard funds, FEMA cash,
And the TSA stash–
Trump will slash them to build it. What gall!

Are you feeling more secure yet?