Posts Tagged ‘Dow Jones Humor’

How Trump Marks The Market (Limerick)

Monday, October 29th, 2018

Headline: “US shares drop on renewed tariff threat against China”

Another bad day for the market!
But needless to say, Trump won’t “Hark!” it.
Dow’s up? He takes credit.
Dow’s down? He will edit
Causation; blame Fed. (He’ll tweet-bark it.)

Trump Fed Up With Fed (Limerick)

Friday, October 19th, 2018

Braggart Trump is fed up with the Fed;
It’s “crazy” and “loco,” he said.
When the stock market falls,
It’s his fall guy. What balls!
Blame his tariffs? Ha! Blame Fed instead!

*****

(After I posted the following limerick on Facebook, Ryan Zinke (under pressure from Democrats, reversed himself and pretended that he’d never even fired Mary Kendall.)

Ryan Zinke is Trump’s kinda guy;
The Interior’s leader says “Why
Should I let an I.G.
Investigate me?”
Then he fires her: Kendall, buh-bye!

Dow Doldrums (Limerick)

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

“The market keeps dropping!” we sob.
And there’s no reassurance from Schwab.
We feel robbed and depressed
And impossibly stressed.
Here’s my message to Donald: Great job!

The Devil In The Oval? (Limerick)

Friday, February 2nd, 2018

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
Now it’s down “666,”
But Trump’s got a fix:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

*****
Alternative Version:

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
With a huge diminution,
Here’s Donald’s solution:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.