As the GOP madness persists
And the front-runner raises his fists,
George Pataki drops out
Of the race, without doubt
Cuz his party no longer exists.
Archive for December, 2015
As the GOP madness persists
Here’s this year’s excellent roundup of some of the best posts from liberal blogs, chosen by the bloggers themselves.
Dear George, I can guess why you ran;
You assumed a sane, serious man
Had a chance this time ’round.
But your party seems bound
To crown someone who b’longs in the Klan.
This question’s becoming increasingly common: “What If No One Believes the Fact Checkers?”
When a pol will incessantly lie,
While supporters routinely deny
The fact that he’s lying
And keep on defying
The truth, our poor nation’s awry.
Ted Cruz is the Senate’s “bad boy,”
But for Teddy that title’s a ploy;
The more INSIDERS hate him,
Despise and berate him,
The more he’s the hoi polloi’s joy.
Since when is it okay for presidential candidates to lace their speeches with vulgarisms and obscenities?
Donald Trump is far worse than a jerk.
He’s a fellow whose mind’s gone berserk
And whose speeches are laced
With language debased,
So I’m guessing his “schlong” doesn’t work.
Dear Lindsey, I’ll wistfully miss you
And the bliss that I sensed when I’d diss you.
Those debates, undercard,
Without you shall be marred.
For this scarring abyss I must hiss you.
Congratulations to Donald Trump on winning the Politifact 2015 Lie of the Year Award!
The “Lie of the Year” prize is Trump’s.
Though many pols fib, Donald jumps
To the top of the list;
His stump speech’s gist
Is take dumps on the truth to hook chumps.
Dear Martin O’Malley, I snickered
And wondered, “Could Martin be liquored?”
Cuz your pre-canned remark,
A don’t-bicker-here bark,
Made no sense because nobody’d bickered.
Note: Here’s the post-debate sub-headline: “O’Malley Bashes Bickering During A Moment Of Peace.”
I hope I don’t sound like a chump,
Who plays down what Trump spews on the stump.
But I fear there’s a threat
That he’ll make you forget
Others’ vileness. It isn’t just Trump.
Please remember: Just because Trump says things and espouse positions that are marginally worse than his fellow candidates, doesn’t mean his GOP opponents aren’t pretty damn heinous in their own right.
Conservatives, bummed and bereft,
Due to Donald Trump’s poll number heft,
After searching their brains
To explain his huge gains,
Found the cause: It’s Barack and the Left!
The more loathsome Trump’s statements become,
The more popular Donald’s with some.
It’s not Muslims I fear,
But the folks who hold dear
A vile man who’s both evil and dumb.
Any pol, whether woman or man
Who says shootings are part of God’s plan
Is just shifting the blame,
And for that I say, “Shame!”
“Control gun sales! Your stance doesn’t scan.”
Here’s the latest Republican strategy for dealing with the scourge of Trump:
In a seven-page confidential memo that imagines Trump as the party’s presidential nominee, the head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee urges candidates to adopt many of Trump’s tactics, issues and approaches — right down to adjusting the way they dress and how they use Twitter.
In the memo on “the Trump phenomenon,” NRSC Executive Director Ward Baker said Republicans should embrace Trump’s tough talk about China and “grab onto the best elements of [his] anti-Washington populist agenda.” Above all, they should appeal to voters as genuine and beyond the influence of special interests.
“Trump has risen because voters see him as authentic, independent, direct, firm, — and believe he can’t be bought,” Baker writes. “These are the same character traits our candidates should be advancing in 2016. That’s Trump lesson #1.”
If you can’t trump The Donald, then ape him?
That’s the viewpoint of those who’d escape him.
How those GOP trolls
Long to knock down his polls.
What a shame they (like web thieves) can’t “scrape” him.
(Info for those unfamiliar with “web scraping.”)
When Republican pols take the stage,
Seems deceit has become all the rage,
Cuz no matter how sordid,
Their lies are rewarded.
Waging war on the truth’s become sage.