Posts Tagged ‘Political Humor’

Limericks and Sundry Humor (September 2017)

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

Dear Donald, I wish you’d vamoose
It ain’t safe in DC with you loose.
The whole nation, in fact,
Would at last be less racked,
If you’d simply become a recluse.

*****
The Donald is starting to backtrack
In response to fierce tweets from the whack-track
That their love for him’s gone
Cuz he’s “Amnesty Don.”
DACA deal with the Dems? Cue sad sack-track.

*****

The media’s only too glad
To opine that Trump’s pivoting. Sad!
Though he turns on a dime,
Those ain’t pivots; Each time
It’s a sign he’s insane. The guy’s MAD!

*****

CNN Headline of the Day: “Trump has nominated 42 people for US attorney. Only one is a woman”

No doubt Ivanka is VERY disappointed.

*****

Devastating Hurricane: “WRONG Time To Mention Climate Change!”

Mass Shooting: “WRONG Time To Mention Gun Control!”

Anyone detect a pattern here?
*****

Headline of the Day: “Upbeat Trump raves to Schumer, Pelosi about news coverage of their deal”

Donald loves to be praised in the press,
Which is rare, cuz his reign is a mess.
But the deal he just made
With the Democrats paid
Off in cov’rage that’s easing his stress.

Seems the same can’t be said for old Mitch
And Paul Ryan. (Betrayal’s a bitch!)
With high hopes for some wins,
They put up with Trump’s sins.
Their reward? They’ve been dumped in a ditch.

******
Press Query: What will you do about X?
Trump: We’ll see.
Child’s Query: Can I do X? Can I? Can I?
Parent: We’ll see.

*****
Trump has a long history of taking undeserved credit for donations. Will Hurricane Harvey be yet another example?

Do not rush to give Trump an ovation
For his one million dollar “donation”
To victims of Harvey;
Though pledges are marvy,
Please buck promise and payment conflation.

******
Trump proclaimed he’d treat Dreamers “with heart,”
But his vow was a lie from the start.
Dumping DACA, he’s dashed
All their dreams; hope’s been smashed
By a bigot who’s slashed us apart.

*****

This probably sounds cynical, given Trump’s obvious instability.

But despite Donald’s mental unfitness, I don’t believe the powers that be will ever use the 25th Amendment to remove him from the presidency.

Hence my limerick rant:

Has the Donald succumbed to a funk?
Is his psyche okay? Oh what bunk!
Why fret NOW? It’s too LATE!
Foolish votes sealed our fate.
That ship’s sailed and, alas, we are sunk.

*****
Is anyone else sick of stories claiming that Ivanka and Jared tried really, really hard to get Trump to do the right thing?

Poor Ivanka and Jared are sad,
Once again disappointed by dad
After trying sooooo hard.
If you buy this canard,
You’re as blind as daft Donald is mad.

*****

Two-Verse Limerick:

Have you read Donald’s tweet-rants today,
Aimed at partners of DPRK?
They clearly were meant
To scare China. Trump’s vent
Was a threat to stop trade. Foolish bray!

Even Donald would rather not crash
Our economy. That would be rash.
So his threat to stop trade
With China charade
Is naught but nonsensical trash.

*****

Trump to Pence: I saw photos of you in Houston, hugging Harvey victims and clearing debris.

Pence: Just doing my part, Mr. President.

Trump: Stop trying to make me look bad!

*****

Dearest Trump fans, condemning Obama
For Katrina, with Sturm, Drang, and drama,
Is a waste of Snopes’ time.
Dopey gripes are a crime.
Did he also cause Black Tuesday trauma?

*****

Dear Donald, I hope you’re aware
That you’re poor at pretending to care.
Though some suckers still buy
Ev’ry pretense and lie,
Being selfish is all that you share.

*****

Trump: “Harvey. It sounds like such an innocent name, but isn’t.”

Me: Donald. It sounds like such an innocent name, but isn’t.

*****

Trump on the Hurricane Harvey recovery: “We want to do it better than ever before. We want to be looked at in five years or 10 years from now as this is the way to do it.”

I, for one, am looking forward to all the congratulatory phone calls Trump will be inventing.

*****

Pro-brutality, favors rascality,
Can’t accept or contend with reality,
Badly raised, must be praised,
His mentality’s crazed;
Trump’s normality — national malady.

*****

FEMA Adviser: The Dallas Convention Center will house 5000 Harvey refugees.

TRUMP: Unacceptable! I’ve banned ALL refugees!

*****

Journalist: During the campaign, you claimed to have no dealings with Russia.

Trump: That’s right, and I didn’t!

Journalist: Then how do you explain your Moscow Trump Tower “letter of intent?”

Trump: I INTENDED to have dealings. Bigly different!

*****

Best Posts From Liberal Blogs

Tuesday, December 29th, 2015

Here’s this year’s excellent roundup of some of the best posts from liberal blogs, chosen by the bloggers themselves.

#jonswift2015

A Holiday Of Sorts (Limerick)

Saturday, December 27th, 2014

A Holiday Of Sorts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How I savored my marvelous break
From political venom — each snake
Of a pol now defanged,
And no one harangued.
At the time, though, I wasn’t awake.

Note: This limerick started out as haiku, inspired by the Twitter prompt word “venom.” But just as I was about to post it, I noticed I’d placed the word “break” (which has tons of rhyme words) at the end of line one. And it occurred to me to try to turn it into a limerick. Of course, as soon as the rhyme word “awake” hit me, I had my last line. So NOT writing a limerick would have been criminal.

Here’s my original haiku:

Imagine a break
from political venom–
puffed up pols defanged.

***

Here’s this year’s excellent roundup of some of the best posts from liberal blogs, chosen by the bloggers themselves.

#jonswift2014

Hairy Proposition (Limerick)

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

My bearded husband will be pleased to hear about this new BEARD PAC. It’s been launched to support bearded candidates of any party, with the ultimate goal of getting a beard back into the Oval Office:

“It’s been 125 years since our last bearded President, Benjamin Harrison, was elected,” BEARD PAC Communications Director Andy Shapero said. “We’re hoping that with our support, bearded individuals will shrug off over a century of political irrelevance and start running for office again.”

Hairy Proposition (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re bearded and want to be prez,
There’s a PAC that might back you, that says
Facial hair is a must
And nude chins are a bust.
I suggest they Ben Harrison rez.*

* My apologies, but I found this Second Life reference irresistible, even though I wouldn’t even know what “rez” means without the help of the Urban Dictionary.