Archive for October, 2011

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Rick Perry’s apparent solution to his inability to debate seems to be: Avoid debates!

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A message from Perry’s team states
He might skip the remaining debates.
Stay in hiding and pout
When you can’t win a bout?
More cratering poll news awaits.

Limerick Ode to Clueless Rick Perry

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Poor Rick Perry is having a rough time. First, he’s forced to walk back his pro-Birther “I don’t have a clue about … what his birth certificate says” comments. Next, he’s reduced to silence on Fox Business when told he sounds “like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.”

Limerick Ode To Clueless Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Perry’s not-a-clue line caused ado.
Anti-Birthers are starting to stew.
But in Perry’s behalf,
It’s not really a gaffe
Cuz it’s true: Perry hasn’t a clue.

Limerick Ode To Villainous Mitch McConnell

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Republicans have repeatedly blocked proposals they actually support, in order to gain political advantage over Obama. This is no surprise, in light of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s stated priorities: He bragged that making Obama a one-term president was his number one goal.

But McConnell now denies putting politics over the good of the country, claiming there’s no “villain out there who’s keeping this administration from succeeding.”

Limerick Ode To Villainous Mitch McConnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitch McConnell denies there’s a villain
That on purpose engages in killin’
The President’s plans,
After promising fans
Such destruction, a vow he’s fulfillin’.

Those Classy Republicans (Limerick)

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Those Classy Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican pols praise the killing
Of Gaddafi, but most seem unwilling
To credit Obama
For staging this drama.
I can’t wait for George Bush to get billing.

Eight 4-Liners For The Republican Contenders

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.

I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:

Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.

*****

Herman “9-9-9″ Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.

*****

James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.

*****

Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?

*****

Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.

*****

Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.

*****

Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.

*****

Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.

*****

Limerick Ode To Herman Cain

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Herman Cain was interviewed by CBN’s David Brody and uttered this priceless quote regarding his readiness for “gotcha questions:”

“When they ask me who’s the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say you know, I don’t know. Do you know? And then I’m going to say how’s that going to create one job?”

Limerick Ode To Herman Cain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain has an answer he’ll lob
At the press in a weave and a bob:
When he’s gotcha-ness leery
He’ll sneer at the query,
“How’s that going to create one job?”

Limerick Ode To the GOP

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Wow! President Obama is a closet limerick writer! Check out this poem “rescued” from the Oval Office trash:

Limerick Ode To the GOP By Barack Obama
“Rescued” By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, thanks for your slate
Of possible pols to debate.
I’ve been worried as hell.
Now you’ve made my hopes swell,
Cuz my years here may well grow to eight.

Naked Campaigning (Limerick)

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Some folks are offended by Scott Brown’s “Thank God” retort to Elizabeth Warren’s she kept her clothes on joke. But this feminist isn’t.

I think Elizabeth Warren is great, but in response to a debate question, she did make a mild nudity joke at Scott Brown’s expense. So in that context, I just didn’t find Brown’s remark especially outrageous.

But that won’t prevent me from mocking Scott Brown in this limerick:

Naked Campaigning
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Brown nakedly showed us his tude,
As his race for the Senate debuted:
Vote for me and not Warren—
She’s Harvardly foreign.
And I’m cuter than Liz in the nude.

Humorists Bid Sad Goodbye To Sarah Palin (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

The verdict is in: Sarah Palin isn’t running for president.

Humorists Bid Sad Goodbye To Sarah (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin ain’t running. Boohoo!
Just what is this jester to do?
Palin’s precious to mock—
With her gone, must take stock:
Are there mockable pols left? A slew!

Pressing The Press On Voter Suppression (Limerick)

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Steve Benen has written an excellent post about the underreported voter suppression scandal:

Under the auspices of rooting out “voter fraud” — a problem that appears to exist largely in the over-active imaginations of GOP activists — Republicans are passing voter-ID measures, closing windows for early voting, and approving new laws restricting voter-registration drives, all targeting specific kinds of voters who happen to be traditional Democratic supporters.

And the Brennan Center For Justice has produced a frightening study of these “radical” voting law changes.

Now if only the media would take some time out from its hefty will-he-or-won’t-he Christie coverage, to report on this important issue.

Pressing The Press On Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP war on our voting
Is a problem the press isn’t noting.
Unfair laws will suppress
Dem votes with finesse,
The Republican prospects promoting.