Archive for August, 2008

Sarah Who???

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake.

But hey, I’m a female.  So I guess I have to vote for whats-her-name, right?  After all, the only reason I was backing Hillary is cuz we’re both female. So naturally, now that Obama’s chosen Biden as his running mate, I must vote for a woman who STANDS FOR EVERYTHING I DESPISE:

Sarah Who???
By Madeleine  Begun Kane

Dear Johnny, I can not conceive
What could possibly make you believe
That your anti-choice pick
Could possibly click
With us Hillary-gals.  How naive!

You must think that we women are sheep,
Who would swoon at a female for Veep.
But a right-wingnut gal
Who’d control our canal?
Oh, that hole that you’re digging is deep.

Yes, your pick has a beautiful face
And she’ll help you to shore up your base.
But she’s wrong to the core
And (like you) she’s just more
Of Bush/Cheney … with feminine grace.

UPDATE: I’m very pleased that my Robert Benchley Society Humor Award has generated a fair amount of publicity. This article in Gannett’s Journal News is probably the best of the stories.  And it has a fun companion video of me reading one of my humor columns.[tags]Sarah Palin, John McCain Humor, Palin Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton Verse, Biden Nomination, Obama Poem, Feminist Humor, Gender Satire[/tags]

Kristol-izing Feminism

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

So Bill Kristol’s a feminist.  Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep.

I’m touched.  Aren’t you?

Kristol-izing Feminism (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill Kristol is outraged that Hill
Ain’t the Democrats’ Veep pick. Dear Bill,
Your concern about gender
Would strike me as tender
If phonies did not make me ill.

McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns
By Madeleine Begun Kane

McCain is confused. Stop the presses!
And if stumped by a query, he guesses.
He’s not up to the task
When this question they ask:
Just how many homes he possesses.[tags]McCain Limerick, John McCain’s Houses, McCain’s Homes, McCain’s Mansions, Elitist McCain, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Presidential Election[/tags]

Some Friendly Advice For Obama

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

The longer this presidential campaign goes on, the more worried I become.  And oddly enough, it’s Barack Obama’s much touted communication skills that concern me the most.

Because as good as Obama is at speechifying, that’s how poor he is when he’s responding to questions.  It’s the difference between hearing the insightful results of his thought process … and being forced to watch him think.

And that leads me to my latest verse:

Some Friendly Advice For Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, your speeches are great,
Like a confident, smart Head of State.
But when questioned you freeze
And appear ill at ease.
Loosen up or you’ll lose — no debate!

And when queried you need to be clear.
Don’t meander and stutter,  you hear?
Cuz you come off evasive
And  quite unpersuasive,
While John McCain’s lies sound sincere.

I’ll admit I was never a fan,
And I’m sick of the phrase “Yes we can.”
But I’m begging you, hide
Your pontificate-side,
Else you’ll lose to a confidence man.[tags]Presidential Election, Obama Limerick, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Head Of State, Campaign Speeches, Press Conference, McCain Limerick[/tags]

McCain’s Bellicose Tune (Song Parody)

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

I’m starting to lose track of how many wars John McCain wants us embroiled in.  He’s certainly singing a bellicose tune these days, and now you can join in with him to the melody of I’m Popeye The Sailor Man:

McCain’s Bellicose Tune (Sing to I’m Popeye The Sailor Man)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m tougher than nails, I am.
I stand up for Uncle Sam.
The other guy’s weak,
While I’m still at my peak,
Cuz I’m tougher than nails, I am!

I’m one tough contender
Which hates all pretenders
Wot never has grown a pair.
I stiffs ’em and bluffs ’em
And always out-roughs ’em.
Obama won’t get nowhere!

That foolhardy boy’s incurred my wrath.
It’s “Wham” and it’s “Bam,” un’erstan’?
It’s risky behavior
To challenge this Savior.
McCain is the White House Man!

I carry a giant stick.
I’m fast with a verbal kick.
Don’t vote for that lad
Or I’ll really get mad.
Beware of my giant stick!

Obama is just a wuss,
A sweet-talking fraidy-puss.
He looks kind of foreign,
Perhaps Ecuador’an.
Don’t vote for that callow wuss![tags]McCain Song Parody, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, White House Song, Obama Song Parody[/tags]

My “Dear John” Edwards Letter

Saturday, August 9th, 2008

My “Dear John” Edwards Letter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear John, to your run I said, “Yay!”
And I thought you’d go far, come what may.
Then you cheat on your spouse
And deny it, you louse!
But will Coulter stop calling you gay?[tags]John Edwards, Ann Coulter, Horny Politicians, Cheating Husbands, Presidential Campaigns[/tags]