Archive for the ‘Sarah Palin’ Category

That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

The housecleaning over at Fox News didn’t stop with Sarah Palin: Dick Morris has been cast out, as well.

That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Say goodbye to the Dick Morris snarl.
Dick (like Palin) can no longer gnarl
All his poisonous spews,
Perched at Fox Cable News.
But alas, Fox is still keeping Karl.

Rove’s Ailing Punditry (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

Apparently, Karl Rove’s election night histrionics pushed Roger Ailes too far. Rove’s been benched.

…Ailes has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now. For Karl Rove and Dick Morris — a pair of pundits perhaps most closely aligned with Fox’s anti-Obama campaign — Ailes’s orders mean new rules. Ailes’s deputy, Fox News programming chief Bill Shine, has sent out orders mandating that producers must get permission before booking Rove or Morris.

Karl Rove’s Ailing Punditry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Roger Ailes appears sick of Rove’s failin’
To get anything right, so he’s bailin’:
Fox News has been told
Not to book that old scold.
But alas, Fox still carries Ms. Palin.

State of Embarrassment (Limerick)

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Note to Sarah Palin and Ted (Tea Party Express, Texas) Cruz, a would-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate: Just because Texas and Kansas both end in “as” doesn’t make them the same state:

Sarah Palin called with a tip that Cruz was the man for the GOP.

Thank goodness the Cruz campaign directed a robocall to my office of the Topeka Capital-Journal.

Getting meaningful political advice from Palin was a treat.

“Hello, Texas!” she blasted into my ear. “I’m Sarah Palin.”

State of Embarrassment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, when trying to aid
Mr. Cruz, all your robocalls played
On phones through the state
Of Kansas ain’t great,
When it’s Texans you aim to persuade.

Listen To Palin and Annoy Me, Please! (Limerick)

Monday, January 30th, 2012

I never thought I’d say this, but please listen to Sarah Palin:

Sarah Palin still hasn’t officially endorsed Newt Gingrich, but she’s making it increasingly clear that she’s pulling for the former House speaker to continue to cause headaches for Mitt Romney.

Her latest bumper-sticker-ready pitch to Republican voters: “Vote for Newt, annoy a liberal.”

Listen To Palin and Annoy Me, Please! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Annoy Lib’rals, vote Newt — that’s the pitch
That Palin is spouting. How rich!
We’d delight in a Newt
V. Barack race, and root
For Mitt Romney to suffer that glitch.

Humorists Bid Sad Goodbye To Sarah Palin (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

The verdict is in: Sarah Palin isn’t running for president.

Humorists Bid Sad Goodbye To Sarah (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin ain’t running. Boohoo!
Just what is this jester to do?
Palin’s precious to mock—
With her gone, must take stock:
Are there mockable pols left? A slew!

Wooing The Donald (Limerick)

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Just when you thought they couldn’t stoop any lower, Republican presidential wannabes like Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, and Michele Bachmann are lining up to kiss Donald Trump’s … uh … ring. After all, nothing says presidential like a Donald Trump endorsement.

Wooing The Donald (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans hope for a bump
In their polls if endorsed by Don Trump.
Here’s a warning for those
Who are kissing his toes:
Self-promotion’s “Goal 1″ for that grump.

Sarah “Send Cash” Palin (Limerick)

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Sarah Palin will apparently do anything to keep her name in the news … and the money flowing in:

Alaska Republican Sarah Palin is “on the verge of making her decision of whether or not to run for office” – and her backers should write a check right away, a letter from her political action committee says.

Sarah “Send Cash” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I need money to help me decide,
Says a woman I can not abide.
I’m referring to Palin—
Ex-Gov known for bailin’.
Let your non-gift be Palin’s best guide.

Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost feel sorry for Christine O’Donnell. No, I’m not talking about O’Donnell’s paltry book sales. I’m referring to her being bigfooted by Sarah Palin out of an appearance at a Tea Party of America rally.

Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin’s a very spoiled brat.
To other gal pols she says, “Scat!”
Prima donna bar none —
She would bar ev’ry one,
Looking down from her very high hat.

I’m Not A Betting Person, But…

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

Up until today, I was pretty convinced that Sarah Palin wouldn’t enter the Republican presidential primary race. I figured she’s enjoying her new-found ability to parlay celebrity into wealth. And that she’s making way too much green to be bothered with the hard job of campaigning for president.

But there’s another type of green — the envy kind. And I can’t help but think that Michele Bachmann’s early success may be tempting Palin to steal back the limelight by making a White House run.

My Presidential Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m betting that Palin will run,
Cuz Michele’s having way too much fun.
Bachmann’s stealing her niche,
Which is making her twitch.
Sarah’d freak if some other gal won.

Who’s Our President, Again?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

A good way to gauge a Republican pol’s classiness quotient is his or her response to Osama bin Laden’s killing:

Do they congratulate everyone who deserves credit, including President Obama?

Do they act as if Barack Obama was merely carrying out Bush’s bidding?

Do they pretend Obama doesn’t even exist?

Needless to say, Sarah Palin has failed the classiness test.

Who’s Our President, Again?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republican comments show class
And give credit where due without sass:
Mitt Romney and Dub
And Pawlenty don’t snub
Prez Obama. But Palin’s an ass.

Run, Sarah, Run

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.

That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.

And now, my latest limerick:

Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Palin Unveils Our Newest Ally — North Korea

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Whenever I think Sarah Palin can’t get more stupid, she proves me wrong. This time she actually said:

But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies. We’re bound to by treaty –.

(Her co-host on Glenn Beck’s radio show corrected her.)

She has earned herself yet another limerick:

Palin Unveils Our Newest Ally — North Korea
By Madeleine Begun Kane

North Korea’s an ally, says Palin.
Her brain cells have clearly been bailin’.
Though her knowledge is weak,
She hastens to speak
With her fact-free assurance prevailin’.

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Sarah Palin Edict: Reality show contestants without talent must not compete … unless their last name is Palin.

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Once again, Sarah Palin shows she has no sense of shame or irony. In her new book America By Heart, the woman has the audacity to criticize American Idol singers as “talent-deprived” contestants who suffer from “the cult of self-esteem.” Now mind you, this is the very same woman whose talentless daughter Bristol has been making a spectacle of herself on Dancing With The Stars.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

There’s a cult of no-talent, rants Palin.
How ironic’s her Idol show railin’!
With a daughter whose dancing
Is talentless prancing,
What’s next? Bristol’s Idol show wailin’?

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Is Newt Trying To Neutralize Sarah Palin?

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

Poor Newt Gingrich! Periodically, he starts feeling neglected. So he begins making noise about running for president, in order to drum up media attention.

This usually turns out to be more about peddling books than making it into the Oval Office. But this time Pat Buchanan thinks Newt is serious. Unfortunately for Newt, Buchanan also thinks Newt’s gone off the deep end with his so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” remarks:

This week, disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R), hoping to make the case against the proposed Park51 community center, compared Muslim Americans to Nazis. On MSNBC yesterday, Pat Buchanan — yes Pat Buchanan — said Gingrich went too far.

Now being too wingnutty for Pat Buchanan is no mean feat:

It’s “absurd,” said Buchanan. “There is no valid comparison there.”

Buchanan also called Gingrich a “political opportunist” who’s trying to be “more controversial than Sarah Palin,” who would be his potential primary challenger in the 2012 presidential election.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

The ambitious Republican Newt
Once was Speaker, but then got the boot.
He so longs to be Prez
That he willingly says
Stuff Buchanan thinks mad. What a hoot!

Related Posts: Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak, Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks, and Refudiating Sarah

Refudiating Sarah

Monday, July 19th, 2010

I usually ignore Sarah Palin’s language-mangling. But her “refudiate” the “Ground Zero Mosque” Twitter “tweet” is too priceless not to comment on:

Refudiating Sarah (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, it’s time to rebootiate
And to malapropism “refudiate.”
Cuz your incorrect usage
Is language abusage.
Either learn to speak English, or mutiate.

Update: This is too funny: Sarah Palin excuses her malapropisms and accidental word coinages by comparing herself to William Shakespeare.

Update 2: Good news! Shakespeare Refudiates Sarah Palin.

Panning Palin

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

Is speculation that Sarah Palin’s speaking career’s starting to crash and burn just wishful thinking, or something more? One thing’s for sure — her Las Vegas keynote speech didn’t impress commercial realtors.

Panning Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I never “got” Palin’s appeal.
I’m confused. Please do tell. What’s the deal?
Ill-informed and quite crass,
With a voice that breaks glass —
Why on earth would folks pay for her spiel?

Unreal American Stories

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I was glad to see that Sarah Palin’s Fox News Special did just so-so in the ratings. And I was amused that her just-pretend interviews with LL Cool J (which ended up being pulled) and Toby Keith drew objections from her non-interviewees. After all, if you’re going to do a show called Real American Stories, there should be something … uh … real about it.

And now, yet another Sarah Palin limerick:

Unreal American Stories
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin’s show was a snooze on TV.
Even fans did not find it must-see.
Plus pretending to talk
With celebs made them squawk.
And recycling old footage? Ennui!

Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:

Notes on your hand,
Notes on your hand,
Lookin’ like a fool
With your notes on your hand.

Sorry, I watch way too much American Idol.

But relying on a cheat-sheet on your left hand during a friendly Q & A session is rich, coming from a woman who disparages President Obama’s (fictitious) inability to speak without a teleprompter.

This brings me to my latest limerick:

Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin comes armed when she speaks
With crib notes on “hand” for sneak peeks.
Guess she’d better not wash
Before speeches. Oh gosh,
I sure hope that those scrawls ain’t antiques.

Celebrating Sarah

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century.

Thanks also to Dick Armey for his help in electing Democrat Bill Owens. (I understand Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman has a big, wet kiss for Dick Armey too.)

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Celebrating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, your meddling is great.
I just love what you did to my state.
Your GOP purge
Will make Democrats surge
As you spread anti-moderates hate.

Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Republican hypocrisy is stunning. Almost everyone who’s been throwing around the “death panel” epithet used to have a very different opinion of end-of-life-care planning:

1) Back in her half-term as Alaska governor, Sarah Palin spoke out for advance healthcare directives in her 2008 Healthcare Decision Day Proclamation.

2) Rush Limbaugh enthusiastically read ad copy championing LegalZoom.com, whose services include do-it-yourself living wills.

3) Newt Gingrich recently advocated for advance directives (end-of-life planning) in his July 2nd Washington Post column.

4) Most Senate and House Republicans voted to fund counseling for end-of-life issues and care in George W. Bush’s 2003 Medicare prescription drug bill.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah and Limbaugh and Newt,
Put your “death panel” nonsense on mute.
Cuz you once were big fans
Of end-of-life plans.
Were they “death panels” too? Now please scoot!

Related Posts: An Open Limerick To President Obama; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies