Archive for the ‘Judiciary Satire’ Category

Trump V. Chief Justice Roberts (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Headline: “Trump Resumes Feud with Chief Justice”

Though the Donald can carp, bash, and mock,
He will find he lacks power to block
Or to fire this man:
Justice Roberts. Can’t ban
The Chief Justice. Trump’s in for a shock.

Feigning Victimization (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 9th, 2018

The GOP’s whining. They’re mad!
What a “sore winner” streak they have had!
They’re “the victims,” they wail
With an “angry mob” tale.
We were “mean” to their dissolute cad!

Stench On The Bench (Limerick

Monday, October 8th, 2018

Brett Kavanaugh’s bringing a stench
To what once was a dignified Bench.
Lies and acts dissolute
(Which he’ll loudly dispute)
Make it clear that he’s far from a mensch.

The GOP’s “Confused” Victim Con (Limerick)

Sunday, October 7th, 2018

Republican pols like to claim
They believe an accuser; their aim
Being sympathy feigned,
Which quickly is drained
By their “victim’s confused; wrong guy” game.

A Man’s “Forceful Denial” Trump’s All??? (Limerick)

Sunday, October 7th, 2018

Republican pols love to cite
Brett’s “forceful denials” to smite
Sundry claims as untrue.
But since when do a few
Screamed denials prove one side is right?

Republicans Destroy Yet Another Institution (Limerick)

Saturday, October 6th, 2018

The Dems once again were outplayed
By the GOP’s latest charade.
Our Supreme Court’s despoiled,
Human decency foiled
By the power-crazed Mitch-led brigade.

*****

GOP’s sole goal–
maintain control at all cost–
destroys Supreme Court.

Susan Collins v. Decency (Limerick)

Saturday, October 6th, 2018

In making her Kavanaugh case,
Susan Collins neglected to face
Brett’s intemperate speech
And behavior; his breach
Of standards judicial was base.

*****

Intemperate Brett
shielded by Mitch and Donald;
Supreme Court sullied.

How Many Lies? (Song Parody Lyrics)

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018

With Apologies To Bob Dylan:

How many lies can a candidate tell
Before you call him a sham?
How many times must Brett K lose control
Before Lindsey Graham tells him, “Scram!”?
Yes,’n’ how many beers must a nominee drink
Before he blacks out an assault?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Limerick Ode To Brett a/k/a Bart

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018

A fellow named Brett, nicknamed “Bart”
Apparently thinks he’s so smart;
He feels free to pretend
“Bart O’Kavanaugh” penned
By his friend ain’t “Bart” K at its heart.

Kavanaugh Lies (Limerick)

Sunday, September 30th, 2018

This limerick was inspired by Thursday’s hearing and this article: “THE UNBEARABLE DISHONESTY OF BRETT KAVANAUGH.”

Brett told lies to the world, large and small,
Some entailing an “I don’t recall.”
Some were odd, like this tale:
“No connections to Yale!”
Which just might Yale-grad-grandpa appall.

Brett Kavanaugh Limerick Duo

Wednesday, September 26th, 2018

Will Kavanaugh ever bow out?
That perjuring sexual lout
Was intended to be
Donald’s trump card; he’s key
To Trump’s keeping his freedom and clout.

*****
Mitch has hired a “female assistant”
So Republican men can stay distant
From plans untoward
Like “assassinate” Ford…
Which might render their wins non-existent.

Probing Logic (Limerick)

Thursday, September 20th, 2018

Apply logic: Who’s likely to lie
About something that most would decry?
The woman who asked
That G-men be tasked
With a probe? Or “NO-FBI Guy?”

Limerick Ode To Christine Blasey Ford

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

Thanks to Peter Daou for inspiring my limerick with this tweet:

Woman reports sexual assault.
Woman gets slimed and vilified.
Woman gets called a liar and opportunist.
Woman gets death threats and is forced to leave her home.
GOP MEN: Why did she wait to come forward?

When a gal reports sexual assault,
She’s reviled and she’s slimed. Oy gevalt!
She’s sent death threats galore,
As she gets this what-for:
“Why’d you wait to speak out? You’re at fault!”

That Mitch Is Quite A Stitch! (Limerick)

Thursday, June 28th, 2018

The Week: “Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Wednesday that the Senate will ‘vote to confirm’ the successor of outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy ‘this fall,’ adding that ‘it’s imperative that the president’s nominee be treated fairly.'”

Mitch McConnell says Dems must be fair
When it’s time to fill Kennedy’s chair.
Forget fairness; send coal
To the Leader who stole
Our great Court. Tell that thief “This is guerre!”

Who Needs Qualified Judges? (Limerick)

Sunday, December 10th, 2017

My latest limerick was inspired by this Politico headline: “Republicans step up defense of ‘not qualified’ judicial nominees.”

“Unqualified” judges? Who cares!?!
If the nominee’s attitude squares
With Republican stances,
Trump’s Court-choice advances.
He’s OUR guy, so NO splitting hairs!

The View From Trump’s Tweets (Limerick)

Thursday, February 9th, 2017

In the last couple of days, Trump’s been tweet-storming complaints about Senators McCain and Blumenthal, as well as Nordstrom.

So, what’s Trump outraged about (besides the media and the courts?)

1) Sen. McCain criticized Trump’s disastrous Yemen raid.

2) Sen. Blumenthal accurately quoted Judge Gorsuch’s relatively mild criticism of Trump’s anti-judge tweets.

3) Nordstrom dropped Ivanka’s clothing and shoe lines because they aren’t selling well.

How dare they!

Meanwhile, where’s Trump’s outrage at Kellyanne Conway over her blatant violation of federal ethics regulations? Where’s the angry Trump tweet condemning Conway for illegally hawking Ivanka’s products from the White House on a Fox News interview?

Conway’s breach was so egregious, that it was even strongly condemned by Republican Chairman of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz:

“That was wrong, wrong, wrong,” Chaffetz told NBC News’ Alex Moe. “It is wholly unacceptable — no if, ands or buts about it.” Chaffetz said that he was drafting a bipartisan letter with his Democratic counterpart Elijah Cummings demanding an explanation from the White House.

Yet all we’ve gotten so far is a namby-pamby statement by Sean Spicer, that Trump Counselor Conway “has been counseled.”

John McCain’s raid-remarks made Trump mad.
So did Blumenthal’s Gorsuch quotes. Sad!
Yet Donald seems fine
When his aides cross the line,
As with Conway’s Ivanka-brand ad.

Limerick Ode To Would-Be-Dictator Donald

Monday, February 6th, 2017

Would-be-Dictator Donald’s upset;
Checks and balances pose quite the threat,
Cuz some courts have said, “No!
He’s been trumped. What a blow!
Seems he doesn’t own judges … just yet.

Open Limerick To President Obama: Appoint Merrick Garland NOW! (2-Verse)

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.

Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.

Clarence Thomas Speaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

CNN 2/29/16 Headline: “Justice Clarence Thomas breaks 10-year streak, asks question in court.” (The issue before the court was whether a domestic assault conviction based on reckless conduct qualifies as a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence that would block firearm possession.)

Clarence Thomas can talk, after all;
Once famed for a decade-long haul
Of no-questions-in-court,
Now that Nino is mort,
He is having a gun-query ball.

Open Limerick To Mitch McConnell

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Dear Mitch, you must stop the obstruction
And your anti-Obama production.
A new Justice is needed.
It’s time that you heeded
Your duties. You MUST all this muck shun.