I didn’t know Sen. Schumer had such a flair for sarcasm. Check out his tweet:
This is an historic night!
@realDonaldTrump has announced that he has cut a deal to “greatly reduce, or eliminate, Illegal Immigration coming from Mexico and into the United States.”
Now that that problem is solved, I’m sure we won’t be hearing any more about it in the future.
Donald makes a big deal about deals;
A great deal of the time, Donald feels
The need to go bragging
Re super deal-snagging…
So his base will think failures are steals.
Donald’s infamous Child-Caging Queen
Has been fired by Trump. Some might glean
That the caging is why
She’s been dumped, but (oh, my!)
Seems the Sec’s insufficiently mean.
Trump’s attempting a blackmail-insurgency:
“I’ve the right to declare an emergency.
But I WON’T do it yet.
Right now it’s a threat!” …
Which proves that there’s really no urgency.
Headline: “DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen Blames Migrant Girl’s Death in Border Patrol Custody on Her Family”
Kirstjen Nielsen is callous and mean;
Her response to this death was obscene.
A young migrant girl dies?
Human decency’s wise!
But on blaming the parents, she’s keen.
Headline: “Melania Trump’s Parents Become U.S. Citizens, Using ‘Chain Migration’ Trump Hates”
The Donald condemns “chain migration”
To enthused and extended ovation.
Yet his wife seems quite pleased
To exploit it. It eased
Her mom and dad’s path to our nation.
Trump Tweet: “I would be willing to “shut down” government if the Democrats do not give us the votes for Border Security, which includes the Wall! Must get rid of Lottery, Catch & Release etc. and finally go to system of Immigration based on MERIT! We need great people coming into our Country!”
Watch Donald on Twitter cavort,
As he tortures his party for sport:
Fully fund my great wall
Or I’ll close you down. All
Will go dark. Then I’ll see you in court.
Do not call me naive or a hick:
Snatching kids from their parents is sick:
If you still defend Trump,
Then you’re worse than a chump.
You don’t care? Then you’re evil or thick.
Headline: “Sessions cites Bible to defend immigration policies resulting in family separations”
Donald’s immigrant policy’s rough.
“Tent cities” for kids? Worse than tough!
Then there’s Sessions, who claims
Holy verse backs his aims.
When will God-fearing folks say “Enough!”?
A promise from Mitch makes me twitch.
Who would bet against glitches or hitch?
Yes a DACA vote pledge
Is worth caca; a hedge
Could turn Schumer from champ to Mitch-bitch.
When HUD Secretary Ben Carson was criticized for conflating slaves and immigrants, he complained that his words had been misconstrued. Unfortunately, however, Carson has a long history of referring to slaves as immigrants. So he’s earned himself this limerick:
Slaves forcibly shipped to our nation
(Per Ben Carson’s REPEATED conflation)
Were immigrants. Wow!
Offensive? And how!
Has his brain suffered O2 privation?
Would-be-Dictator Donald’s upset;
Checks and balances pose quite the threat,
Cuz some courts have said, “No!”
He’s been trumped. What a blow!
Seems he doesn’t own judges … just yet.
There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!
Limerick Ode To Ben Carson
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Carson’s soft-spoken drone is misleading.
To extremists, there’s nothing he’s ceding:
As prez he would order Drone strikes at our border.
My prescription? Ben’s brain could use treating.
Inconvenient Facts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans love to get traction
By using executive action
As a pretext to jaw:
“Barack breaks the law!”–
Despite similar acts by their faction.
Immigration reform, for example:
Though Bush Senior and Reagan did ample
Such executive acts
It would seem, despite facts,
That on laws only Democrats trample.
King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.
He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.
