Posts Tagged ‘Border Wall’

Sundry National Emergency Humor

Tuesday, February 19th, 2019

Donald Trump breaches
separation of powers–
Republicans shrug.

*****

How To Lose A Case:

1. Declare national emergency.

2. Say “I didn’t need to do this,” as your lawyers tear their remaining hair out.

3. Stand by for courts to agree that you, indeed, “didn’t need to do this.”

*****

Unpersuadable,
Impervious to the facts–
That’s Donald Trump’s base.

*****
Today, Lindsey Graham defended Trump’s unconstitutional “national emergency” declaration:

“Let’s just say for a moment that he took some money out of the military construction budget,” Graham said. “I would say it’s better for the middle-school kids in Kentucky to have a secure border. We’ll get them the school they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.

What’s next for Lindsey Graham? Any day now, we just might be hearing this:

“Let’s just say for a moment that the President executed Nancy Pelosi, the person most responsible for blocking his wall.

“Yes, that would be unfortunate. But I would say it’s better for middle-school kids and all Americans to have a secure border. We’ll get them the new House Speaker they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.”

*****

DONALD TRUMP: “We will have a national emergency and we will then be sued and they will sue us in the 9th circuit, even though it shouldn’t be there…”

Hey Donald, if you don’t want cases to go to the 9th Circuit, stop screwing California.

*****

Trump’s Fake Emergency Power Grab (Limerick)

Friday, February 15th, 2019

A fake crisis; Trump seizes more power,
As obsequious ass-kissers cower.
He raids Pentagon cash
And a FEMA funds stash,
And democracy dies by the hour.

The Tease-In-Chief (Limerick)

Saturday, January 19th, 2019

Headline: “Trump says he will make a ‘major’ announcement on Saturday about the border and government shutdown”

Dear Trump, that announcement you’re teasing
Is only of int’rest and pleasing,
If the gov isn’t closed
And you say you’re disposed
To resign. Failing that, halt your wheezing!

Trump Cancels Pelosi War Zone Trip … and the Speaker Responds (Limerick)

Thursday, January 17th, 2019

Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”

Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:

Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.

No Means No! (Limerick)

Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Headline: “When Nancy Pelosi Says ‘No’”

When Pelosi says “no,” she means “NO!”
Trump will NOT get his wall-building dough.
Unlike Donald, she’ll walk
The walk and won’t balk.
Nancy’s toughness is true. Trump’s? Just SHOW!

Donald’s Just-Pretend Emergency (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2019

Trump’s attempting a blackmail-insurgency:
“I’ve the right to declare an emergency.
But I WON’T do it yet.
Right now it’s a threat!” …
Which proves that there’s really no urgency.

Limerick Ode To Our So-Called Deal-Maker

Friday, January 11th, 2019

The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.

Trump Walled In By Wall Quote (Limerick)

Thursday, January 10th, 2019

It’s hard not to laugh at this quote from Trump’s 2004 Wagner College commencement address, which inspired my limerick:

I’ll tell you, to me, the second-most important thing after love what you do is never, ever give up. Don’t give up. Don’t allow it to happen. If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it. Go over it. Go around it. But get to the other side of that wall.

There’s a wall of concrete? Then go through it;
That’s the way that the Donald once drew it.
Are walls MEANT to be crossed?
Or built at great cost:
My conclusion is Donald Trump blew it.

Trump Storms Out Of His Own Meeting (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”

The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.

Border Wall Lies

Tuesday, January 8th, 2019

The Donald is planning to go
On the air Tuesday night with a show
Of border wall lies
And emergency cries.
To the networks I plead: “Just Say No!”

Donald Begs For A Deal (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 1st, 2019

The Donald begs, “Let’s make a deal?
Via Twitter, he makes that appeal.
You should steel yourself, bro,
Cuz you’re getting no dough
For cement or your slat walls of steel.

Donald’s Blame Game (Limerick)

Sunday, December 30th, 2018

Dear Donald, you’ll need more than luck
With your efforts at passing the buck;
You could crawl on all fours,
But the shutdown blame’s yours:
You’re the schmuck who’s inflicted this muck.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Shutdown

Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

The shutdown, dear Donald, is yours.
You broke it; you keep it. The doors
Of the gov have been shut
By YOU! Get your butt
Down to Congress. Concede … on all fours.

Mulvaney And Trump Are Quite The Couple (Limerick)

Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

Headline: “Mick Mulvaney in 2015: Trump’s views on border wall ‘simplistic,’ ‘absurd and almost childish’”

Donald’s wall-pledge is clearly “absurd!”
Don’t take it from me; that’s a word
Mick Mulvaney once used
To describe it. Confused?
So’s the staff-chief now leading Trump’s herd.

Shutdown Blame Game

Friday, December 21st, 2018

The odds of a shutdown are growing,
And the BS-packed blame-game is flowing.
Blame Pelosi, they blare.
Schumer! Durbin! I swear,
Those Republican noses are growing.

Limerick Ode To Our Goading Victim In Chief

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Some claim Donald was goaded by Chuck
Into owning the shutdown. Good luck
With excuses as lame
As THAT. Who’s to blame
For this misstep? It’s President Schmuck.

Trump’s Shutdown (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Headline: “Trump: ‘I’m proud to shut down the government’ over border wall”

Over border wall funding, Trump’s “proud
To shut down the government.” Loud
And clear was his statement,
Precluding debatement.
Piggish Donald shall reap what he’s sow’d.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Trump Cavorts On Twitter (Limerick)

Sunday, July 29th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “I would be willing to “shut down” government if the Democrats do not give us the votes for Border Security, which includes the Wall! Must get rid of Lottery, Catch & Release etc. and finally go to system of Immigration based on MERIT! We need great people coming into our Country!”

Watch Donald on Twitter cavort,
As he tortures his party for sport:
Fully fund my great wall
Or I’ll close you down. All
Will go dark. Then I’ll see you in court.

Child Abuse Backed By The Bible? (Limerick)

Friday, June 15th, 2018

Headline: “Sessions cites Bible to defend immigration policies resulting in family separations”

Donald’s immigrant policy’s rough.
“Tent cities” for kids? Worse than tough!
Then there’s Sessions, who claims
Holy verse backs his aims.
When will God-fearing folks say “Enough!”?