Posts Tagged ‘Border Wall’

The Tease-In-Chief (Limerick)

Saturday, January 19th, 2019

Headline: “Trump says he will make a ‘major’ announcement on Saturday about the border and government shutdown”

Dear Trump, that announcement you’re teasing
Is only of int’rest and pleasing,
If the gov isn’t closed
And you say you’re disposed
To resign. Failing that, halt your wheezing!

Trump Cancels Pelosi War Zone Trip … and the Speaker Responds (Limerick)

Thursday, January 17th, 2019

Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”

Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:

Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.

No Means No! (Limerick)

Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Headline: “When Nancy Pelosi Says ‘No’”

When Pelosi says “no,” she means “NO!”
Trump will NOT get his wall-building dough.
Unlike Donald, she’ll walk
The walk and won’t balk.
Nancy’s toughness is true. Trump’s? Just SHOW!

Donald’s Just-Pretend Emergency (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2019

Trump’s attempting a blackmail-insurgency:
“I’ve the right to declare an emergency.
But I WON’T do it yet.
Right now it’s a threat!” …
Which proves that there’s really no urgency.

Limerick Ode To Our So-Called Deal-Maker

Friday, January 11th, 2019

The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.

Trump Walled In By Wall Quote (Limerick)

Thursday, January 10th, 2019

It’s hard not to laugh at this quote from Trump’s 2004 Wagner College commencement address, which inspired my limerick:

I’ll tell you, to me, the second-most important thing after love what you do is never, ever give up. Don’t give up. Don’t allow it to happen. If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it. Go over it. Go around it. But get to the other side of that wall.

There’s a wall of concrete? Then go through it;
That’s the way that the Donald once drew it.
Are walls MEANT to be crossed?
Or built at great cost:
My conclusion is Donald Trump blew it.

Trump Storms Out Of His Own Meeting (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”

The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.

Border Wall Lies

Tuesday, January 8th, 2019

The Donald is planning to go
On the air Tuesday night with a show
Of border wall lies
And emergency cries.
To the networks I plead: “Just Say No!”

Donald Begs For A Deal (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 1st, 2019

The Donald begs, “Let’s make a deal?
Via Twitter, he makes that appeal.
You should steel yourself, bro,
Cuz you’re getting no dough
For cement or your slat walls of steel.

Donald’s Blame Game (Limerick)

Sunday, December 30th, 2018

Dear Donald, you’ll need more than luck
With your efforts at passing the buck;
You could crawl on all fours,
But the shutdown blame’s yours:
You’re the schmuck who’s inflicted this muck.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Shutdown

Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

The shutdown, dear Donald, is yours.
You broke it; you keep it. The doors
Of the gov have been shut
By YOU! Get your butt
Down to Congress. Concede … on all fours.

Mulvaney And Trump Are Quite The Couple (Limerick)

Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

Headline: “Mick Mulvaney in 2015: Trump’s views on border wall ‘simplistic,’ ‘absurd and almost childish’”

Donald’s wall-pledge is clearly “absurd!”
Don’t take it from me; that’s a word
Mick Mulvaney once used
To describe it. Confused?
So’s the staff-chief now leading Trump’s herd.

Shutdown Blame Game

Friday, December 21st, 2018

The odds of a shutdown are growing,
And the BS-packed blame-game is flowing.
Blame Pelosi, they blare.
Schumer! Durbin! I swear,
Those Republican noses are growing.

Limerick Ode To Our Goading Victim In Chief

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Some claim Donald was goaded by Chuck
Into owning the shutdown. Good luck
With excuses as lame
As THAT. Who’s to blame
For this misstep? It’s President Schmuck.

Trump’s Shutdown (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Headline: “Trump: ‘I’m proud to shut down the government’ over border wall”

Over border wall funding, Trump’s “proud
To shut down the government.” Loud
And clear was his statement,
Precluding debatement.
Piggish Donald shall reap what he’s sow’d.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Trump Cavorts On Twitter (Limerick)

Sunday, July 29th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “I would be willing to “shut down” government if the Democrats do not give us the votes for Border Security, which includes the Wall! Must get rid of Lottery, Catch & Release etc. and finally go to system of Immigration based on MERIT! We need great people coming into our Country!”

Watch Donald on Twitter cavort,
As he tortures his party for sport:
Fully fund my great wall
Or I’ll close you down. All
Will go dark. Then I’ll see you in court.

Child Abuse Backed By The Bible? (Limerick)

Friday, June 15th, 2018

Headline: “Sessions cites Bible to defend immigration policies resulting in family separations”

Donald’s immigrant policy’s rough.
“Tent cities” for kids? Worse than tough!
Then there’s Sessions, who claims
Holy verse backs his aims.
When will God-fearing folks say “Enough!”?

Trump v. Kelly (Limerick)

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

Trump is mad at John Kelly. Here’s why:
Re the Donald’s campaign, he let fly
Quite a wall-vow affront;
It’s surprisingly blunt.
“Uninformed,” though, sounds better than “lie.”

Limericks & Sundry Humor (July and August 2017)

Sunday, August 27th, 2017

I’ve gathered into a single batch loads of limericks and other (mostly Trump-related) humor I wrote during the summer of 2017, while recovering from wrist surgery:

*****
I suspect there’s a hole in Trump’s soul;
Donald pardoned a bigoted troll,
Deeming racism kosher.
(What act could be gaucher?)
Bias AIN’T just okay. It’s Trump’s goal.

*******

An unqualified Trump aide named Gorka,
Who’s despised by most ev’ry New Yorkuh,
Has been dumped. Will he rail
In a big pay-day tale?
I’m betting his story’s a corkuh.

*********

Alas, Harvey is fixing to mow
Through Texas, a menacing blow.
Trump’s FEMA’s done little;
Just talk laced with spittle.
But at least, Donald’s helped Sheriff Joe.

*****

Life With Mark and Madeleine:

Mark: I love NPR, except for late afternoons.

Madeleine: What’s the problem?

Mark: Each time I tune in, I hear the same damn story!

Madeleine: Maybe they should call it “One Thing Considered.”

*****

“Alex Jones calls Charlottesville violence a false flag, because alternative facts are still a thing”

What to do when your allies are caught
Doing wrong, and you fear all’s for naught?
There’s the Infowars’ chestnut:
Yes Jones is the best nut
To hatch “false flag” claims, overwrought.

*****

Oval Office blight;
Hope’s plummeting out of sight.
Can’t succumb to plight!

*****

I have run out of patience with those
Who voted for Trump. Your vote blows!
If you still like the guy,
Please do NOT explain why.
I don’t care; You’re to blame for our woes!

*****

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “The President is probably one of the strongest presidents we’ve had on economic issues.”

So true! Which Is why I can’t wait for Trump’s forthcoming treatise:

Strong Dollar/ Weak Dollar: Which One’s Better?

*****

Trump Advisor: A quick question, Mr. President, before you leave for golf: Any thoughts on naming an Ambassador to South Korea?

Trump: Absolutely not! No ambassador until they stop building nukes!

Trump Advisor: Sir, I’m pretty sure North Korea’s the one with the nukes.

Trump: Double check and get back to me. But first, where are my clubs?

*****

“POTUS has been briefed on [Hurricane] Harvey’s progress, as well as preparations, by his Homeland Security Advisor, Tom Bossert.”

Bossert: Harvey’s headed to Texas, but things are under…

Trump: Paul Harvey! Great radio guy! But isn’t he dead?

*****

Trump’s White House (from Cab Secs to VEEP)
Is so lawless, I just want to weep.
Take the Hatch Act; Ben’s speech
Last night was a breach.
My advice? Plead “I spoke in my sleep.”

(Ben Carson Hatch Act Phoenix Rally)

*****

“Trump to Congress: Fund the Wall or I’ll Shut the Government”

Donald thinks he has magical powers
To bully, till ev’ryone cowers:
“Build my wall!” (His first love)
“Or I’ll shut down the gov!”
No, not Mexico’s government! Ours!

*****

Trump’s Phoenix Rally

Yet another divisive Trump rally!
(Donald’s held way too many to tally.)
He was crazy, yet boring;
I swear I heard snoring,
As hundreds skipped Donald’s finale.

*****

Photo of the Day: “President Trump stares straight into solar eclipse without glasses”

The eclipse had us viewing our skies,
But ev’ryone knows it ain’t wise
To stare at the sun
While the moon’s having fun;
So dear Donald, good luck with your eyes.

*****

Our Naval destroyer collides.
Ten sailors are lost in the tides.
Trump is asked, as the Prez,
To comment, and says:
“That’s too bad!” What a lift he provides!

*****

Mar-a-Lago keeps losing events,
Reducing Trump’s dollars and cents;
Non-profits galore
Wish to be there no more.
Schadenfreude? My case is immense!

*****

Modest Proposal 4 Trump’s Afghanistan speech:

Declare victory. Take credit. Announce immediate withdrawal.

What’s another Trump lie?

*****

Though Trump skirts the truth to the max,
With an attitude far worse than lax,
He defended delaying
Tough statements by braying:
Before speaking, “I like to know facts.”

*****

Both sides good!
Both sides bad!
Me like facts!
Fake media’s mad!

*****

Dear Trump, don’t expect me to cheer
Today’s speech; your reluctance was clear.
Condemnation delayed
Simply won’t make the grade.
Sneers and jeers for your words insincere!

*****

Me great president!
Racism bad!!!
Everyone happy now?
Can I go back to golf?

*****

The Donald’s an arrogant fool
Who possesses just one tiny tool:
The dominance game,
Which is best not to aim
At someone who’s equally cruel.

*****
Trump & North Korea Haiku

“Fire!” “Fury!”
“Locked and Loaded!”
Adolescent bullies, goaded.

*****

Bombings tend to make Trump go to town;
He’ll speak out and he’ll tweet and he’ll frown!
But he’s yet to decry
Friday’s mosque attack. Why?
Have Twitter and Facebook been down?

*****

Seems that Pence has been caught at ambition,
A perilous White House condition.
Pence denies it, of course.
Will Trump force a “divorce,”
As suspicion incites trust attrition?

*****

“Is the Donald about to ‘reset?'”
That’s a query I simply don’t get.
Yet the press loves to ask it.
Instead, I would task it:
Truly cover our national threat.

*****

The Trump presidency could be just the thing that converts me from agnostic to atheist.

*****

Dear Head of the Boy Scouts, explain
Trump’s invasion inside your domain
With a broadside so mad,
You said “Sorry! My bad!”
Tell me: Why would you think he’d act sane?

*****

If Trump’s White House is a “fine-tuned machine,” mark me down for a jalopy.

*****

Sean Spicer has fled from his box,
So the White House is losing his vox,
Which was often embattled;
He lied and he prattled…
Skills soon to be transferred to Fox?

*****

A visit from “Donald, the Cad”
To London’s postponed; the poor lad
Heard that protests were planned,
Making Trump feel unmanned.
Demonstration-fears stopping him? Sad!

*****

Junk health insurance—
Just what the doctor ordered.

*****

Dear Jared, you’ll soon be in hock
To your lawyers, who bill round the clock.
Will they help you to skate?
I say prison’s your fate,
As a chip off the old Kushner block.

*****

Trump’s Voter Fraud “Investigator” Demands State Voter Records, And States Ain’t Happy:

“Just what are they trying to hide?”
Trump’s response, when most states won’t abide
By vile records demands;
Voter privacy stands
Somehow wrong? Trump’s returns, still un-eyed.

*****