Archive for the ‘Crime’ Category
Sunday, September 30th, 2018
This limerick was inspired by Thursday’s hearing and this article: “THE UNBEARABLE DISHONESTY OF BRETT KAVANAUGH.”
Brett told lies to the world, large and small,
Some entailing an “I don’t recall.”
Some were odd, like this tale:
“No connections to Yale!”
Which just might Yale-grad-grandpa appall.
Tags: Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, Criminal Law, FBI, FBI Agents, FBI Limerick, Mitch McConnell, Republican Lies, Sexual Assault, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court, Victimizing Victims, Yale
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, FBI Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 26th, 2018
Will Kavanaugh ever bow out?
That perjuring sexual lout
Was intended to be
Donald’s trump card; he’s key
To Trump’s keeping his freedom and clout.
*****
Mitch has hired a “female assistant”
So Republican men can stay distant
From plans untoward
Like “assassinate” Ford…
Which might render their wins non-existent.
Tags: Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, Criminal Law, FBI, FBI Agents, FBI Limerick, Mitch McConnell, Sexual Assault, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court, Victimizing Victims
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, FBI Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Mitch McConnell, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Thursday, September 20th, 2018
Apply logic: Who’s likely to lie
About something that most would decry?
The woman who asked
That G-men be tasked
With a probe? Or “NO-FBI Guy?”
Tags: Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, Criminal Law, FBI, FBI Agents, FBI Limerick, Sexual Assault, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court, Victimizing Victims
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, FBI Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 19th, 2018
Thanks to Peter Daou for inspiring my limerick with this tweet:
Woman reports sexual assault.
Woman gets slimed and vilified.
Woman gets called a liar and opportunist.
Woman gets death threats and is forced to leave her home.
GOP MEN: Why did she wait to come forward?
When a gal reports sexual assault,
She’s reviled and she’s slimed. Oy gevalt!
She’s sent death threats galore,
As she gets this what-for:
“Why’d you wait to speak out? You’re at fault!”
Tags: Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, Criminal Law, Sexual Assault, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court, Victimizing Victims
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Political Limericks, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | No Comments »
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018
Trump’s personal lawyer’s confessed
To committing at Donald’s behest
And direction some crimes,
While his party-mate slimes
Are pretending to be unimpressed.
Tags: Campaign Finance, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Michael Cohen
Posted in Campaign Humor, Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on The “What’s The Big Deal?” Defense (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 8th, 2018
Headline: “New York Republican Rep. Chris Collins indicted on insider trading charges”
Chris Collins is under arrest
For fraud and false statements. Obsessed
With great greed, Chris misleads,
Commits crimes and misdeeds,
As he does what his party does best.
Tags: Chris Collins, Congressional Republicans, Congressman Collins, Crime, False Statements, Fraud, House Republicans, Insider Trading, New York Republican, Securities Fraud, Wire Fraud
Posted in Crime, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Republican Chris Collins
Saturday, June 30th, 2018
Some look at our system with awe,
But the man who keeps breaking the law
Gets to help load the court
With wingnuts who’ll thwart
Donald’s punishment. Rather a flaw!
Tags: Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Impeachment, Legal, Legal Verse, Supreme Court
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Impeachment Humor, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | Comments Off on A Discordant Note (Limerick)
Thursday, April 19th, 2018
Headline: “Trump allies worry Cohen will flip.”
Trump cronies are starting to fear
A Mike Cohen betrayal is near;
That when faced with the threat
Of prison, he’ll sweat
And blab secrets that Donald holds dear.
Tags: Crime, Donald Trump, Michael Cohen, Prisons, Trump Lawyers
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Biggest Fear? (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 27th, 2018
The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.
Tags: Bravery, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Education Humor, Florida, Florida Massacre, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, NRA, Parkland Florida, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Trump Bragging, Umbrella
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)
Monday, February 26th, 2018
This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”
Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!
Tags: Bravery, Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Education Humor, Florida, Florida Massacre, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, NRA, Parkland Florida, Police Humor, School Safety, Schools, Teachers, Trump Bragging
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Education Limerick, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2018
Dear NRA lovers and tools:
“Armed teachers protecting our schools?”
This insults the police
Who FULL-TIME keep the peace.
Sniper skills ain’t a hobby, you fools!
Tags: Cop Limerick, Cops, Crime Humor, Education Humor, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, NRA, Police Humor, School Safety, Schools, Teachers
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Education Limerick, GOP Humor, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To NRA TOOLS
Saturday, January 27th, 2018
Trump tried to dump Mueller and failed —
Yet another obstruction unveiled.
How much proof will it take
Till his allies foresake
Him, and Donald is finally jailed?
Tags: Crime Humor, Donald Trump, Obstruction, Obstruction Of Justice, Prisons, Robert Mueller
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on A Prison Awaits Him (Limerick)
Monday, October 30th, 2017
Mueller’s news has the public agog,
So the White House keeps drumming up fog.
Mass confusion’s its aim;
Soon the Donald will claim
That Clinton’s been beating her dog.
Tags: Distractions, Donald Trump, George Papadopoulos, GOP Distractions, Indictment Humor, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, Robert Mueller
Posted in Campaign Humor, Crime, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on The Fog of Trump Lore (Limerick)
Saturday, October 28th, 2017
Mueller’s team has been hustling and humming;
Rumor has it arrests are forthcoming.
While we wait, watch the right,
Armed and eager to fight,
Weave their web of distractions mind-numbing.
Tags: Distraction, GOP Distractions, Indictment Humor, Robert Mueller, Trump
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on The Distraction Game (Limerick)
Friday, October 27th, 2017
Is Trump in the throes of affrightment
Over news about Mueller’s indictment?
Who’s been charged? We don’t know
Cuz it’s sealed. Even so,
I’m aglow with a growing excitement.
Tags: Indictment Humor, Robert Mueller, Trump
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Mueller’s Halloween Surprise?
Monday, June 22nd, 2015
I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We can always depend on Ted Cruz
To be tacky in voicing his views;
He tells gun control jokes
After massacres, folks,
Crudely preying on death to “amuse.”
Sen. Ted Cruz apparently finds mass murder amusing. Here’s just one of his campaign jokes uttered just two days after the Charleston church massacre:
“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Charleston Church Massacre, Crime & Punishment, Dylann Roof, Election Humor, Gun Control, Hate Crimes, South Carolina, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Crime, Election Satire, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Ted Cruz | Comments Off on I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
Friday, June 19th, 2015
Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a racist whose head’s out of whack
Kills nine churchgoers just cuz they’re black,
Wingnuts lay it on thick
With a claim that’s just sick:
“Christian freedom is under attack.”
Right-wing culprits in this outrageous distortion of the Charleston church massacre include Rick Santorum, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, and sundry Fox News hosts.
Tags: Charleston Church Massacre, Christianity, Dylann Roof, Fox News, Hate Crimes, Lindsey Graham, Religion Humor, Rick Santorum
Posted in Crime, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, Lindsey Graham, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, South Carolina Humor | Comments Off on Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 1st, 2014
Have you ever wondered how police departments ended up looking like military units? An excellent Mother Jones article explains the method behind the madness, which I’ve tried to summarize in this limerick:
Surplus Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s why cops appear ready for war,
Stocked with Pentagon loaners galore:
Lend your surplus to cops,
And your storage cost drops.
Then make give-backs an arduous chore.
Tags: Combat Gear, Federal Budget, Military, Military Gear, Military Surplus, Pentagon Humor, Police Humor
Posted in Crime, Military Humor, Political Limericks | Comments Off on Surplus Madness (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
Can you imagine Republicans ever questioning the legitimacy of a criminal case against a Democrat? Alas, that would take intellectual honesty. So don’t hold your breath.
On the other hand, many Democrats are openly questioning whether Rick Perry’s sleazy behavior rose to the level of a criminal act. As for me…
What’s a crime can be sometimes unclear.
Yes the law is confusing, I fear.
I’m a lawyer, but still
I’ve no skill, nor the will
To predict if this case will cohere.
Tags: Crime & Punishment, Criminal Humor, Indictment Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Rick Perry
Posted in Crime, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Rick Perry | Comments Off on The Perils Of Perry (Limerick)
Sunday, July 14th, 2013
Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.
*****
Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.
Tags: Crime & Punishment, Firearms, Florida, George Zimmerman, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Racism, Second Amendment, Stand Your Ground Law, Trayvon Martin, Trial Humor, Vigilante, Weapon Humor
Posted in Crime, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
