Archive for the ‘Crime’ Category

Kavanaugh Lies (Limerick)

Sunday, September 30th, 2018

This limerick was inspired by Thursday’s hearing and this article: “THE UNBEARABLE DISHONESTY OF BRETT KAVANAUGH.”

Brett told lies to the world, large and small,
Some entailing an “I don’t recall.”
Some were odd, like this tale:
“No connections to Yale!”
Which just might Yale-grad-grandpa appall.

Brett Kavanaugh Limerick Duo

Wednesday, September 26th, 2018

Will Kavanaugh ever bow out?
That perjuring sexual lout
Was intended to be
Donald’s trump card; he’s key
To Trump’s keeping his freedom and clout.

*****
Mitch has hired a “female assistant”
So Republican men can stay distant
From plans untoward
Like “assassinate” Ford…
Which might render their wins non-existent.

Probing Logic (Limerick)

Thursday, September 20th, 2018

Apply logic: Who’s likely to lie
About something that most would decry?
The woman who asked
That G-men be tasked
With a probe? Or “NO-FBI Guy?”

Limerick Ode To Christine Blasey Ford

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

Thanks to Peter Daou for inspiring my limerick with this tweet:

Woman reports sexual assault.
Woman gets slimed and vilified.
Woman gets called a liar and opportunist.
Woman gets death threats and is forced to leave her home.
GOP MEN: Why did she wait to come forward?

When a gal reports sexual assault,
She’s reviled and she’s slimed. Oy gevalt!
She’s sent death threats galore,
As she gets this what-for:
“Why’d you wait to speak out? You’re at fault!”

The “What’s The Big Deal?” Defense (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018

Trump’s personal lawyer’s confessed
To committing at Donald’s behest
And direction some crimes,
While his party-mate slimes
Are pretending to be unimpressed.

Limerick Ode To Republican Chris Collins

Wednesday, August 8th, 2018

Headline: “New York Republican Rep. Chris Collins indicted on insider trading charges”

Chris Collins is under arrest
For fraud and false statements. Obsessed
With great greed, Chris misleads,
Commits crimes and misdeeds,
As he does what his party does best.

A Discordant Note (Limerick)

Saturday, June 30th, 2018

Some look at our system with awe,
But the man who keeps breaking the law
Gets to help load the court
With wingnuts who’ll thwart
Donald’s punishment. Rather a flaw!

Trump’s Biggest Fear? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 19th, 2018

Headline: “Trump allies worry Cohen will flip.”

Trump cronies are starting to fear
A Mike Cohen betrayal is near;
That when faced with the threat
Of prison, he’ll sweat
And blab secrets that Donald holds dear.

Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.

Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)

Monday, February 26th, 2018

This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”

Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!

Open Limerick To NRA TOOLS

Thursday, February 22nd, 2018

Dear NRA lovers and tools:
“Armed teachers protecting our schools?”
This insults the police
Who FULL-TIME keep the peace.
Sniper skills ain’t a hobby, you fools!

A Prison Awaits Him (Limerick)

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

Trump tried to dump Mueller and failed —
Yet another obstruction unveiled.
How much proof will it take
Till his allies foresake
Him, and Donald is finally jailed?

The Fog of Trump Lore (Limerick)

Monday, October 30th, 2017

Mueller’s news has the public agog,
So the White House keeps drumming up fog.
Mass confusion’s its aim;
Soon the Donald will claim
That Clinton’s been beating her dog.

The Distraction Game (Limerick)

Saturday, October 28th, 2017

Mueller’s team has been hustling and humming;
Rumor has it arrests are forthcoming.
While we wait, watch the right,
Armed and eager to fight,
Weave their web of distractions mind-numbing.

Mueller’s Halloween Surprise?

Friday, October 27th, 2017

Is Trump in the throes of affrightment
Over news about Mueller’s indictment?
Who’s been charged? We don’t know
Cuz it’s sealed. Even so,
I’m aglow with a growing excitement.

I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)

Monday, June 22nd, 2015

I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We can always depend on Ted Cruz
To be tacky in voicing his views;
He tells gun control jokes
After massacres, folks,
Crudely preying on death to “amuse.”

Sen. Ted Cruz apparently finds mass murder amusing. Here’s just one of his campaign jokes uttered just two days after the Charleston church massacre:

“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at.”

Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality (Limerick)

Friday, June 19th, 2015

Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When a racist whose head’s out of whack
Kills nine churchgoers just cuz they’re black,
Wingnuts lay it on thick
With a claim that’s just sick:
“Christian freedom is under attack.”

Right-wing culprits in this outrageous distortion of the Charleston church massacre include Rick Santorum, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, and sundry Fox News hosts.

Surplus Madness (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

Have you ever wondered how police departments ended up looking like military units? An excellent Mother Jones article explains the method behind the madness, which I’ve tried to summarize in this limerick:

Surplus Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s why cops appear ready for war,
Stocked with Pentagon loaners galore:
Lend your surplus to cops,
And your storage cost drops.
Then make give-backs an arduous chore.

The Perils Of Perry (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

Can you imagine Republicans ever questioning the legitimacy of a criminal case against a Democrat? Alas, that would take intellectual honesty. So don’t hold your breath.

On the other hand, many Democrats are openly questioning whether Rick Perry’s sleazy behavior rose to the level of a criminal act. As for me…

What’s a crime can be sometimes unclear.
Yes the law is confusing, I fear.
I’m a lawyer, but still
I’ve no skill, nor the will
To predict if this case will cohere.

Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida

Sunday, July 14th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.

*****

Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.