Headline: “Plea Deal for Man Involved In Matt Gaetz Probe”
If a man “dates” a minor, then smite ’im,
And kindly don’t call them an “item.”
An underaged girl
Shouldn’t be given a whirl…
And the law should step in and indict ’im.
Headline: “Supreme Court appears skeptical of New York’s restrictive gun-control law”
New York gun control’s likely to slip,
Cuz the highest Fed Court lacks a grip
On our big city needs
To forestall deadly deeds.
I just hope it won’t shoot from the hip!
After learning that New York AG Letitia James is pursuing a criminal investigation into the Trump Organization, and that she’s working with Manhattan DA Cy Vance, Donald Trump posted a lengthy blog rant, which could have benefited from paragraphing … and sanity.
Donald Trump seems distressed and upset.
It appears he is starting to fret
That he’ll spend his last days
In prolonged prison stays.
James and Vance pose a serious threat!
The Republican Rep. Matthew Gaetz
Is accused of some underage dates.
His denials are odd.
(Even Tuck finds them flawed.)
Here’s hoping that prison awaits.
Trump’s been pardoning felons galore,
Cuz Donald’s a thief at his core.
He finds something to laud
In both war crimes and fraud.
You’re scum? That’s what pardons are for!
Enduring Trump’s reign has been hard;
Our nation’s been tainted and scarred.
So this question’s arisen:
Is tweeting in prison
Permitted? Please tell me it’s barred!
I hear tell that the Donald’s been musing
About maybe, conceivably losing.
It’s a frightening thought,
For his future is fraught;
Relocation to prison is bruising.
Headline: “Trump Committed Felony Urging Supporters to Vote Twice”
Donald Trump told supporters: “Vote twice,”
Which is awful, unlawful advice.
His words aren’t just flawed;
He’s encouraging fraud.
Yet another Trump crime with no price.
Headline: “Trump’s novel corruption defense: I do it in plain sight”
Trump keeps doing misdeeds in plain sight
To induce the belief they’re no blight
On the laws of our land,
That they breach no command;
If illegal, he’d hide them all. Right?
Headline: “Trump’s repeated defense against assault accusations: call the accuser unattractive”
Donald’s message: I’m very selective
When viewing a victim, prospective,
So her rape claim’s a lie,
And it’s obvious why:
She isn’t “my type!” She’s defective!
Headline: “How could anyone think Paul Manafort lived an ‘otherwise blameless’ life?”
NOT a limerick:
Judge Ellis while sentencing Paul
Said his life has been “otherwise blameless.”
But that claim just ain’t true. Not at all!
Seems both Paul and Judge Ellis are shameless.
I won’t ask you, dear Trump, not to lie.
You can’t stop, so don’t bother to try.
And nor will I ask
You to do any task
That requires a warm-hearted guy.
And there’s really no need to pretend
That the law isn’t something you bend
To benefit you
And a very small few:
Your children … and maybe a friend.
I won’t EVEN say, Donald don’t whine.
You can’t help it, I know, so that’s fine.
I’ve a single request,
And it isn’t “Be Best.”
I am begging you: Kindly Resign!
Trump’s campaign-team was teeming with crooks
It surely was one for the books;
His affinity for
That felonious corps
Was driven by greed. (Not good looks.)
“Never happened!” (Trump’s fav’rite defense)
His use of that claim is immense.
When it fails (all the time)
Trump denies it’s a crime,
Unwisely surmising we’re dense.
Trump’s Inaugural Fund looks suspicious;
Monies raised were bizarrely ambitious,
And the numbers don’t jibe.
Were there pay-offs? A bribe?
Major windfalls for Trump injudicious?
Headline: “Maybe Trump should try harder not to sound like a mob boss”
Dear Donald, it’s best not to choose
Mob-boss lingo, like “rat,” to confuse
And placate your base.
It does NOT help your case
To tweet jargon a crim’nal would use.
Headline: “Accused Russian spy Maria Butina appears poised to plead guilty”
Donald Trump should be tied up in knots,
Cuz Maria Butina knows lots,
And it looks like she’ll squeal;
She has just made a deal.
Oy gevalt! Trump may actually plotz.
Donald tweets about guns that ain’t “smocking,”
Which occasions a whole lot of mocking.
Poor Trump’s in a bind,
For soon he will find
Much bad news and “clean” coal in his stocking.