Archive for the ‘Crime’ Category

Trump’s Favorite Defenses (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

“Never happened!” (Trump’s fav’rite defense)
His use of that claim is immense.
When it fails (all the time)
Trump denies it’s a crime,
Unwisely surmising we’re dense.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Inauguration Fund

Monday, December 17th, 2018

Trump’s Inaugural Fund looks suspicious;
Monies raised were bizarrely ambitious,
And the numbers don’t jibe.
Were there pay-offs? A bribe?
Major windfalls for Trump injudicious?

I Smell A Rat In The White House (Limerick)

Monday, December 17th, 2018

Headline: “Maybe Trump should try harder not to sound like a mob boss”

Dear Donald, it’s best not to choose
Mob-boss lingo, like “rat,” to confuse
And placate your base.
It does NOT help your case
To tweet jargon a crim’nal would use.

The Beauty Of A Butina Deal (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2018

Headline: “Accused Russian spy Maria Butina appears poised to plead guilty”

Donald Trump should be tied up in knots,
Cuz Maria Butina knows lots,
And it looks like she’ll squeal;
She has just made a deal.
Oy gevalt! Trump may actually plotz.

“Smocking Gun” Mockery (Limerick)

Monday, December 10th, 2018

From a Trump tweet today: “No Smocking Gun…No Collusion.”

Donald tweets about guns that ain’t “smocking,”
Which occasions a whole lot of mocking.
Poor Trump’s in a bind,
For soon he will find
Much bad news and “clean” coal in his stocking.

The GOP’s Silence Is Deafening (Limerick)

Saturday, December 8th, 2018

From Pulitzer Prize-nominated journalist Victoria Brownworth: “It’s extraordinary that the GOP leadership has said not one word about the events of the last 24 hrs. A sitting US president has been named as a felon. A felon. And they are silent.”

Now that Donald has clearly been named
As a criminal, who could be blamed
For wondering when
Republican men
Will acknowledge their party’s been shamed?

Trump: “Witness Tamperer In Chief” (Limerick)

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Kellyanne Conway’s Husband Accuses Trump of Witness Tampering”

Donald’s latest illegal pursuit:
Witness tamp’ring on Twitter. The coot
Injudiciously hurts
His case; his tweet-blurts
Furnish proof Trump can never refute.

Trump Must Pay! (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

For his crimes and his wrongs, Trump must pay.
It’s essential! We should not delay,
Else the normalization
Of crass aberration
Shall forever remain on display.

Trump’s “Blame Everyone But Himself” Mentality (Limerick)

Thursday, October 25th, 2018

“As wave of attempted bombing continues, Trump chooses to blame the victims.”

Who’s to blame for the bombs that were sent
To kill people Trump loves to torment
Via Twitter and speeches?
The victims, Trump screeches.
The Divider-In-Chief must repent!

Leading By Example (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2018

Headline: “Man Cites Trump After Groping Woman on Flight”

Trump’s impact is rather immense,
And it often defies common sense.
Grope a gal sans permission?
No need for contrition;
Just rely on the “Donald Defense!”

Kavanaugh Lies (Limerick)

Sunday, September 30th, 2018

This limerick was inspired by Thursday’s hearing and this article: “THE UNBEARABLE DISHONESTY OF BRETT KAVANAUGH.”

Brett told lies to the world, large and small,
Some entailing an “I don’t recall.”
Some were odd, like this tale:
“No connections to Yale!”
Which just might Yale-grad-grandpa appall.

Brett Kavanaugh Limerick Duo

Wednesday, September 26th, 2018

Will Kavanaugh ever bow out?
That perjuring sexual lout
Was intended to be
Donald’s trump card; he’s key
To Trump’s keeping his freedom and clout.

*****
Mitch has hired a “female assistant”
So Republican men can stay distant
From plans untoward
Like “assassinate” Ford…
Which might render their wins non-existent.

Probing Logic (Limerick)

Thursday, September 20th, 2018

Apply logic: Who’s likely to lie
About something that most would decry?
The woman who asked
That G-men be tasked
With a probe? Or “NO-FBI Guy?”

Limerick Ode To Christine Blasey Ford

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

Thanks to Peter Daou for inspiring my limerick with this tweet:

Woman reports sexual assault.
Woman gets slimed and vilified.
Woman gets called a liar and opportunist.
Woman gets death threats and is forced to leave her home.
GOP MEN: Why did she wait to come forward?

When a gal reports sexual assault,
She’s reviled and she’s slimed. Oy gevalt!
She’s sent death threats galore,
As she gets this what-for:
“Why’d you wait to speak out? You’re at fault!”

The “What’s The Big Deal?” Defense (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018

Trump’s personal lawyer’s confessed
To committing at Donald’s behest
And direction some crimes,
While his party-mate slimes
Are pretending to be unimpressed.

Limerick Ode To Republican Chris Collins

Wednesday, August 8th, 2018

Headline: “New York Republican Rep. Chris Collins indicted on insider trading charges”

Chris Collins is under arrest
For fraud and false statements. Obsessed
With great greed, Chris misleads,
Commits crimes and misdeeds,
As he does what his party does best.

A Discordant Note (Limerick)

Saturday, June 30th, 2018

Some look at our system with awe,
But the man who keeps breaking the law
Gets to help load the court
With wingnuts who’ll thwart
Donald’s punishment. Rather a flaw!

Trump’s Biggest Fear? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 19th, 2018

Headline: “Trump allies worry Cohen will flip.”

Trump cronies are starting to fear
A Mike Cohen betrayal is near;
That when faced with the threat
Of prison, he’ll sweat
And blab secrets that Donald holds dear.

Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.

Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)

Monday, February 26th, 2018

This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”

Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!