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Archive for the ‘White House’ Category

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this line frequently used by Obama and other pols: “America can’t afford to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

Obama usually uses this Voltaire paraphrase as an excuse to disappoint progressives yet again.

The original Voltaire quote is “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” translated from the French, “Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien.” (The literal translation actually should be, “The best is the enemy of the good.”)

This brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a guy named Voltaire,
A Frenchman whose wisdom pols share.
They say, “Perfect, though fine,
Is hardly divine
When it blocks the essential. So there!”

Dear Obama, this line is just guff —
An excuse for not doing enough.
So instead of excuses,
Fight right-wing abuses.
Voltaire is annoying. Hang tough!

Ode To Barack Hussein Hoover

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Responding to his political crisis, President Obama is doing precisely the wrong thing. As Paul Krugman said,

A spending freeze? That’s the brilliant response of the Obama team to their first serious political setback?

It’s appalling on every level.

Something tells me that Obama’s State of the Union address is going to be jam-packed with pandering double talk.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Barack Hussein Hoover
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Prez Obama, once shaker and mover,
Is reduced to a pand’ring maneuver.
Dealt a setback, his plan
Is a spending freeze? Man!
We’ve elected a latter-day Hoover.

     

********

Congratulations to my good friend Don Davis of Satirical Political for taking top prize in this year’s HumorFeed contest and being named The Best Satire of the Year. Don won for his hilarious A Real War On Christmas: Outrage Grows Over Excessive Bonuses To Santa’s Elves. Congrats, again Don. Well deserved!

(Full disclosure: I was a member of the four judge panel. However, the contest submissions were anonymous, so there was no need to disqualify myself.)

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats

Monday, January 25th, 2010

In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies.

Any minute now (I tell myself) Dems under Obama’s leadership will call a halt to the futile act of making nice with Republicans (and Blue Dogs) and will start pursuing a truly progressive agenda.

But, alas, Democrats seem to have learned exactly the wrong lesson from losing Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat to a Republican.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like you’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.

     

********

Some related posts from Think Progress, Common Dreams, Susie Madrak, and Steve Benen.

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama?

In a word — yes! After all, the purpose of terrorism is to scare people into overreaction. So when GOP attack dogs like Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, Michael Steele, Bill Kristol, Pete King, Pete Hoekstra, Jim DeMint and countless others characterize a failed terrorist attack as a success and try to terrify the public, they are unwittingly helping al Qaeda.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Michael and Peter and Dick,
Your Obama vendetta is sick.
Cuz behavior like yours —
Turning flops into scores —
Creates fear, which makes terrorists tick.

Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit.

In fact, the Republicans’ partisan response to this attempted terrorism has been so shameless, even Politico noticed.

Republicans like Pete Hoekstra, James DeMint, Dan Burton, and many others have earned themselves a triple limerick by playing politics with national security:

Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Exploiting a terror attempt
Is surely beneath all contempt.
But that never would stop
Such a GOP op:
“Bash Obama! He failed to preempt.”

There is plenty of blame they should share
For that terrorist scare in the air.
We’ve no TSA head:
DeMint “held” him instead
Of a vote. It’s Republican guerre.

As for funding our air travel screening,
They vote no. Seems they’re pro-terror leaning.
Though their record is poor,
They keep spouting full-bore.
Please Republicans, spare us your preening.

NOTE: Here’s some unrelated, but timely, New Years Resolutions humor: It Is Hereby Resolved.

Dressing Down The President

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree:

This is essentially the collapse of health care reform in the United States Senate. And, honestly, the best thing to do right now is kill the Senate bill and go back to the House and start the reconciliation process, where you only need 51 votes and it would be a much simpler bill.

I blame President Obama for this health reform fiasco. For it’s Obama who empowered Joe Lieberman to blackmail the Senate and hold health reform hostage.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dressing Down The President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, your job is to lead.
You have failed. So has Senator Reid.
Seems you’d sign any swill
Labeled “health reform bill,”
And then brag that we’ve got what we need.

Yes, you’ve tragic’ly blown your great chance.
So spare us the song and the dance.
Though many will swear
You’ve done much for our care,
I am sorry — the prez has no pants.

Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool (Updated)

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Somebody please explain why the garbage and lies spewed by Richard Cheney are routinely treated like they’re gospel. Dick makes George W. Bush look like a statesman, for heaven sakes. And yet media outlets love to present the former Veep’s vicious distortions and malicious rants virtually without challenge.

The latest example is Politico’s regurgitation of Cheney’s lengthy tirade against President Obama. A tirade, I might add, made on the eve of Obama’s Afghanistan troop buildup speech at West Point.

Politico deserves a double limerick, don’t you think?

Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Politico, kindly explain
Why you act like Dick Cheney is sane.
You repeat all his lies
Like they’re truthful and wise.
Your stenography’s worse than inane.

Richard Cheney has harmed our great nation.
Yet you act like each Cheney quotation
Is golden and true,
Worth transcribing on cue.
You’re not journos — you just take dictation.

UPDATE: Unbelievable! Apparently the Pulitzer Board is fond of Cheney’s steno pool. It just elected Jim VandeHei, executive editor and co-founder of Politico, to the Pulitzer Board. Can a Pulitzer Prize for Drudge be far behind?

Related Posts: Ode To Fresh Faces; and Bush & Cheney’s Blunderland Song Parody

Bystander President?

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Recent comments by Sen. Jay Rockefeller and others indicate
that a strong public option could become a reality, if only President Obama stopped being a Bystander President.

Bystander President? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Public option’s at stake — tock, tick, tock.
Please step up to the plate, Dear Barack.
Though the sidelines were cool
For a while, you’re a fool
If you fail to ensure it’s a lock.

Related Posts: Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg; Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies

Ode To Party-First Republicans

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Remember when you could tell the difference between right-wing loons and your average Republican politician? Unfortunately, that distinction is rapidly vanishing. And Republican reaction to 1) Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win; and 2) Chicago’s failure to land the Olympics are but two recent examples.

Ode To Party-First Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When the Prez wins a prize, wingnuts sneer.
When we lose the Olympics, they cheer.
“Country first,” they once said.
Seems that sentiment’s dead.
If Barack killed bin Laden, they’d jeer.

Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ’splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. The Americano, a news site for Hispanic-Americans, is a transparent effort to lure memory-impaired Latinos over to the GOP.

A two-verse limerick in honor of the hypocritical Newt Gingrich:

Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a long-standing view from the right:
Education bilingual’s a blight.
That’s how Newt has opined.
Dearest Newt, changed your mind?
Quite the pander — your bilingual site.

Guess you’re hoping Latinos forget
Your stance that bilingual’s all wet,
That they’ll vote GOP.
But Latinos shall see
Through your bilingual lies on the Net.

Related Posts: Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks; and Ode To Fresh Faces

Chris Wallace Feels Dissed

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

Poor Chris Wallace has been whining to Bill O’Reilly about Fox News Sunday not getting an Obama interview. Apparently Obama’s making a huge mistake in refusing to be interviewed by such a fair fellow.

My favorite part of the video is where Wallace calls Obama’s White House, “The biggest bunch of crybabies I have dealt with in my 30 years in Washington.”

Yup, sounds “fair and balanced” to me.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Chris Wallace Feels Dissed
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Chris Wallace is feeling left out—
No Obama appearance to tout.
Wallace swears on the air:
He’s not Beck. He is fair
To those “crybabies.” Why would we doubt?

Related Post: Fox Pundits At Sea

Republicans Bring “Classiness” To the Classroom

Friday, September 4th, 2009

Remember when a presidential speech to school kids was considered positive and uncontroversial? Back when Republicans were in the White House? Funny, what a difference one election can make.

President Obama wants to address schoolchildren about working hard, being responsible and playing by the rules, and all hell breaks loose:

Republicans Bring Classiness To the Classroom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Act responsibly. Stay in your schools.”
“Study hard and please play by the rules.”
How dare the Prez preach
Such sins in his speech!
Ain’t no way to breed right-wing tools.

Related Posts: “Education President” Song; Education Humor; and Bush Isn’t An “Education President,” He Just Plays One

Ode To The White House Fashion Police

Friday, August 21st, 2009

The White House fashion police are at it again: First Lady Michelle Obama was caught wearing shorts on her way to a Grand Canyon vacation! The horror!

Ode To The White House Fashion Police (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Once again I just can’t help but frown
At the journalists going to town:
“The First Lady wore shorts,”
Blare the breathless reports.
Please Michelle, when you hike wear a gown.

Related Post: Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone

Open Limerick To President Obama

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

Watching Republicans out-maneuver President Obama on “bi-partisan” health care reform has been so painful, I sometimes feel forced to avert my eyes. So I’ve written this open double limerick to President Obama:

An Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, the GOP’s clear:
Won’t support any health reform. Hear?
You can whittle the bill
Down to bupkis — you still
Won’t get votes. Yes they’ve duped you, I fear.

Your naivety’s hurting our cause.
And so how about taking a pause?
Work with Dems on the Hill
To create a fresh bill
That has nary a GOP clause.

Related Posts: Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies

Waterloo Lies

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Back in July, South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint bragged about Republican plans to “break” Obama. How? By killing health care reform, turning health care into Obama’s “Waterloo.”

So it’s no surprise that the President’s foes are wielding the Big Lie in their non-stop efforts to block reform. Or that their lies target the elderly, scaring them into thinking Democrats intend to mandate elder-euthanasia.

This brings me to my latest limerick, Waterloo Lies:

Waterloo Lies
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP’s spreading big lies
To ensure that our health reform dies:
“The bill will kill gran —
Shorten seniors’ life span.”
Their goal? Cut Barack down to size.

Update: Check out the interesting and informative Health Wonk Review.

Related Posts: An Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; and Tantrum Politics

Dear Senator Inhofe

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Boohoohoo! Poor, innocent Republicans are being hassled by wingnut birthers — loons who would refuse to believe President Obama was born in the U.S., even if they witnessed his Hawaiian birth themselves.

And it doesn’t help that Republicans like Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) encourage this nonsense by saying birthers “have a point” and by blaming Obama — claiming “the White House has not done a very good job of dispelling the concerns of these citizens.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Senator Inhofe
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Inhofe, I’ve heard you do deals
That are fishy and steal people’s meals.
You have proof it’s not true?
Doesn’t matter — won’t do.
Now Inhofe, you see how it feels?

Update: The House has passed a resolution by 378 to 0 celebrating the 50th anniversary of Hawaiian statehood. The resolution included language recognizing the state as President Obama’s birthplace.

Wingnut birthers are gonna be mad!

Flailin’ Palin

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving “dead fish” and a “lame duck?”

Flailin’ Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Political blogs are atwitter
With news of Gov. Palin, the quitter.
Is it scandal or plans
To join prez also-rans?
Once aglitter, she’s GOP litter.

Quaking Over Handshakes

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Newsflash via a Republican video ad: Obama is endangering the U.S. by consorting with foreign leaders like Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz.

Oooooh! Handshakes! Scary!

Quaking Over Handshakes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We’re endangered, the GOP says,
By a handshake with Hugo Chavez.
Seems the nation Bush left
Is wholly bereft
And too weak for some pics with the Prez.