Archive for the ‘White House’ Category

Trumping The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us.
They keep getting their way
Cuz there’s NO price to pay.
Call them out? They shout, “Media bias!”

Shedding Tears For Ben Carson? (Limerick)

Monday, November 9th, 2015

The “liberal bias” lie is in full bloom this election cycle. And in its latest manifestation, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and Hugh Hewitt would have us believe that the press is being really mean to Ben Carson, while treating Hillary Clinton with kid gloves.

Of course such assertions are so laughable, even Joe Scarborough is mocking them.

Hugh Hewitt and Reince look askance
At the Ben Carson cov’rage. Their stance:
It’s a lib-press vendetta!
Hill’s treated much bettah!
(Even Joe isn’t buying their rants.)

Why Should Ben Carson Captain Our Ship Of State? (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 4th, 2015

Carson’s dearth of credentials is stark,
And being the prez ain’t a lark.
But just mention his lack,
Ben’s response will be whack:
He says “amateurs built [Noah's] Ark.”

Ben Carson’s full Twitter quote is: “It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was the professionals that built the Titanic.”

Curtains for Jeb? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

Who should quit after last night’s debate?
It was Jebbie’s worst showing, to date,
A performance dismaying.
His fans must be weighing
Their option to dump his dead weight.

Jeb’s attack on pal Rubio failed,
And at Marco’s retort, Jeb just flailed.
Then smooth sailing for Marco.
From Jeb? Not a spark! Oh,
Jeb’s run has been fully derailed.

About Those Polls (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 27th, 2015

Four recent polls (3 in Iowa, 1 national) show Ben Carson ahead of Trump, prompting Trump to claim that polls with so many candidates aren’t very scientific.

Unless they show Trump ahead, of course.

When The Donald tops polls, they’re “terrific!”
He runs second? They’re “unscientific.”
Cuz when Trump’s on the stump,
Though his number’s might slump,
His ego-laced lines stay prolific.

Jeb Bush – Unhappy Campaigner (Limerick)

Sunday, October 25th, 2015

Jeb Bush is sounding bummed these days about the toxic nature of the race to be the Republican presidential nominee:

I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.

It seems Jebbie objects to the slings
And arrows of primary swings;
Having chosen to run,
He just ain’t havin’ fun…
And would rather do “really cool things.”

Press Biding Its Time Till It Gets Serious About The Issues (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

Anyone else sick of the breathless “will he or won’t he” Biden stories? Well, not to be outdone by all that foolishness, the Washington Post “inadvertently published” a website story under this headline: “Biden to launch a presidential campaign.”

Biden cov’rage is dumb as it gets:
Now the Washington Post sends regrets
For its story proclaiming
Joe’s running. It’s blaming
A “technical glitch.” Cool your jets!

Most journos don’t bother to air
Real issues. That’s work they can’t bear!
Seems their duties they’re ceding.
Instead they keep feeding
Us nonsense. So reader beware!

How Dare Trump Tell The Truth About Something! (Limerick)

Monday, October 19th, 2015

Though The Donald’s said many things bad,
Seems the one thing that makes Jebbie mad
Is when Donald Trump says
That Jeb’s brother was prez
On September 11th. The cad!

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 14th, 2015

Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:

I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Sunday, October 4th, 2015

I’m so sick of these headlines: “Will he or won’t he? Biden still trying to decide.”

Look, I really like (and sympathize with) Joe Biden. But it’s time to shit or get off the pot.

Dear Joe, it is time to decide.
When you hedge, you help others divide
Our great party, which needs
To get out of the weeds
And ensure that a Dem does preside.

I’m No Shrink, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, September 24th, 2015

Says Rubio, “Trump’s insecure.”
That assessment does have some allure.
Is the braggart and gloater
And slick self-promoter
Disguising the fact he’s unsure?

I’m no shrink, so I shouldn’t opine,
But I will. (I’ve been drinking some Rhine.)
Compensation for lacks
Could explain his attacks.
Armchair-whining is done — need more wine.

And He’s Out! (Limerick)

Monday, September 21st, 2015

Scott Walker’s dropped out of the race
Cuz apparently Walker can’t face
Polling way under “1.”
So he’s back to the fun
Of destroying Wisconsin apace.

Yet Another GOP Debate Limerick

Friday, September 18th, 2015

After yesterday’s 3-verser about the 2nd GOP debate, you’d think I’d be done. But apparently not:

How I loathe the “He kept us safe” line.
Jeb’s revived it. How dare he — that swine!
Silly me — I’d have sworn
9-11 was born
On Dub’s watch. Were we safe? I’d say nein.

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)

Friday, September 18th, 2015

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.

All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.

Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”

Pre-Debate Limerick

Wednesday, September 16th, 2015

At this ev’ning’s political rumble
I wonder who’ll fumble or crumble.
Will low numbers like “1″
Make some feel quite undone,
Or be freeing? (At “1″ they can’t tumble.)

Limerick Ode To This Wednesday’s CNN Debate

Monday, September 14th, 2015

This Wednesday on CNN’s stage,
Ten guys and one gal will engage
In attempts to gain ground.
But chagrin will abound;
Most are bound to be Trumped. Feel their rage!

Yet Another Trump Limerick

Monday, September 14th, 2015

Here’s a taunt Trump’s repeatedly boomed:
“Whoever attacks me is doomed!”
As I hear the guy thunder,
I can’t help but wonder
What potion The Donald’s consumed.

The Huckster’s Plea (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

I was amused to hear Mike Huckabee offer to go to jail in Kim Davis’ place.

In the midst of the Davis dissension
And her quest for gay marriage prevention,
Huck delivered this plea:
Don’t jail Davis. Jail ME!
It’s the only way Huck gets attention.

Trump’s Empty Pledge (Limerick)

Friday, September 4th, 2015

Does The Donald risk losing his edge
With his RNC loyalty pledge?
No he’ll dredge up some slight–
An excuse for a fight;
“They’re not treating me fair,” he’ll allege.

So if somebody else gets the nod,
This will “prove” that the process was flawed
By “mistreatment” of Trump.
The oath’s simple to dump,
And he’ll run as a third-party “god.”

Public Service Message

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015

No need to closely follow the Donald Trump/Jeb Bush insult fest. I’ve summarized it here as a public service:

“You’re a weak-on-immigration weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re a Common Core weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re a low-energy weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re an illegals-loving weenie.”

“You’re a Hillary-loving, abortion-loving weenie.”

“You’re a Spanish-speaking weenie.”

“You’re a liberal, germaphobic weenie.”

Just think of all the time I’ve saved you.

You’re welcome.