Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Chris Christie’s not feeling the bliss.
For while mauling that pup
Christie blew himself up;
His reward in New Hampshire? Big diss!
Archive for the ‘White House’ Category
Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Carly’s gone from the race. I won’t miss her.
Though of course if it’s apt, I’ll still diss her.
And I hope she’ll embrace
Someone else in this race…
Cuz I’d love to see Donald Trump kiss her.
Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”
When you’re giving a speech, my dear chap,
And you’re forced to ask people, “please clap,”
That is sadder than sad.
Your campaign’s beyond bad.
Put a cap on your race. It’s a wrap!
I’m certain “The Donald” is mad.
He’s a “LOSER” to Cruz, and I’d add,
More embarrassing yet
Is his delegate net;
It did NOT exceed Marco’s. Poor lad!
Yes, not only did Cruz beat Trump by 3.3 percent, but Marco Rubio was only 1.2 percent behind Trump, tying him in terms of delegate yields:
Ted Cruz’s victory in the Iowa caucuses means he’ll collect eight delegates to the Republican National Convention.
Donald Trump and Marco Rubio each get seven from the opening contest in the 2016 presidential race.
I’m so sick of the news stories meant
To defame Mrs. Clinton with bent,
Sleazy headlines and lies
Told to make you surmise
That her emails were “secret” when sent.
You probably know this old chestnut of a joke: “How can you tell when a politician is lying? When his (or her) lips move.”
Here’s my own slightly less cynical lie detection technique:
How do you know that a politician is lying? The word ‘frankly’ comes out of his/her mouth.
Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina seem especially fond of the word ‘frankly,’ but they’re certainly not alone in having that ‘tell.’
Pols frequently telegraph lies.
For example, I’m quick to surmise
That a whopper’s about
To be told by some lout
When he uses the ‘frankly’ disguise.
Trump panders at Liberty U,
Says what “under siege” Christians should do:
“Band together” like other
Religions. Oh brother!
Trump just loves spewing statements untrue.
Headline of the Day: “Ted Cruz Didn’t Report Goldman Sachs Loan in a Senate Race.”
“I’m a populist guy to the bone.
I got all that I have on my own.”
That’s the message Cruz flacks,
Leaving out Goldman Sachs
And that million-buck Senate-race loan.
“Major GOP donors and fundraisers are wondering whether they’re wasting their money on super-PACs.”
“It’s ‘free speech!’ Let us spend to the max!”
The Supreme Court said “yes” to those hacks,
To the GOP guys
Who thought this was wise:
Buy elections with billionaire PACS.
Having gotten the ‘right’ they demanded,
Any SuperPAC donor who’s candid
Says “My giant transmittal
Of bucks bought me little!
What a waste! Why was ‘free speech’ expanded?”
How ironic! According to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe, the very type of constitutional “originalist” judge that Ted Cruz says he’d appoint to the U.S. Supreme Court, is the very sort of judge who’d deem Cruz unqualified to be president by reason of his Canadian birthplace.
Trump’s Birther attack on Ted Cruz
Seemed, at first, like some dumb Donald news.
But a judge of the sort
Ted Cruz likes would retort:
“Call Cruz ‘natural born?’ I refuse!”
Here’s Tribe, as quoted by The Guardian:
“…the kind of judge Cruz says he admires and would appoint to the supreme court – an ‘originalist’ who claims to be bound by the historical meaning of the constitution’s terms at the time of their adoption – Cruz wouldn’t be eligible because the legal principles that prevailed in the 1780s and 90s required that someone be born on US soil to be a ‘natural born’ citizen.”
“Even having two US parents wouldn’t suffice for a genuine originalist. And having just an American mother, as Cruz did, would clearly have been insufficient at a time that made patrilineal descent decisive…”
Dear George, I can guess why you ran;
You assumed a sane, serious man
Had a chance this time ’round.
But your party seems bound
To crown someone who b’longs in the Klan.
Since when is it okay for presidential candidates to lace their speeches with vulgarisms and obscenities?
Donald Trump is far worse than a jerk.
He’s a fellow whose mind’s gone berserk
And whose speeches are laced
With language debased,
So I’m guessing his “schlong” doesn’t work.
Dear Lindsey, I’ll wistfully miss you
And the bliss that I sensed when I’d diss you.
Those debates, undercard,
Without you shall be marred.
For this scarring abyss I must hiss you.
Congratulations to Donald Trump on winning the Politifact 2015 Lie of the Year Award!
The “Lie of the Year” prize is Trump’s.
Though many pols fib, Donald jumps
To the top of the list;
His stump speech’s gist
Is take dumps on the truth to hook chumps.
Dear Martin O’Malley, I snickered
And wondered, “Could Martin be liquored?”
Cuz your pre-canned remark,
A don’t-bicker-here bark,
Made no sense because nobody’d bickered.
Note: Here’s the post-debate sub-headline: “O’Malley Bashes Bickering During A Moment Of Peace.”
I hope I don’t sound like a chump,
Who plays down what Trump spews on the stump.
But I fear there’s a threat
That he’ll make you forget
Others’ vileness. It isn’t just Trump.
Please remember: Just because Trump says things and espouse positions that are marginally worse than his fellow candidates, doesn’t mean his GOP opponents aren’t pretty damn heinous in their own right.
Conservatives, bummed and bereft,
Due to Donald Trump’s poll number heft,
After searching their brains
To explain his huge gains,
Found the cause: It’s Barack and the Left!
The more loathsome Trump’s statements become,
The more popular Donald’s with some.
It’s not Muslims I fear,
But the folks who hold dear
A vile man who’s both evil and dumb.
Here’s the latest Republican strategy for dealing with the scourge of Trump:
In a seven-page confidential memo that imagines Trump as the party’s presidential nominee, the head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee urges candidates to adopt many of Trump’s tactics, issues and approaches — right down to adjusting the way they dress and how they use Twitter.
In the memo on “the Trump phenomenon,” NRSC Executive Director Ward Baker said Republicans should embrace Trump’s tough talk about China and “grab onto the best elements of [his] anti-Washington populist agenda.” Above all, they should appeal to voters as genuine and beyond the influence of special interests.
“Trump has risen because voters see him as authentic, independent, direct, firm, — and believe he can’t be bought,” Baker writes. “These are the same character traits our candidates should be advancing in 2016. That’s Trump lesson #1.”
If you can’t trump The Donald, then ape him?
That’s the viewpoint of those who’d escape him.
How those GOP trolls
Long to knock down his polls.
What a shame they (like web thieves) can’t “scrape” him.
(Info for those unfamiliar with “web scraping.”)