Archive for the ‘White House’ Category

Trump’s Con Man Budget (Limerick)

Thursday, May 25th, 2017

A TWO trillion dollar mistake?
Really more, cuz the “growth gain” is fake.
But such cons are expected
When crooks are elected.
Please don’t tell me you STILL like that snake.

How’s That Stamina Of Yours, Little Donald? (Limerick)

Sunday, May 21st, 2017

Headline of the Day from (of all places) The New York Post: “Exhaustion is to blame for Trump’s ‘Islamic terror’ comment: aide.”

“Low-Energy” Donald is beat.
His stamina’s burned by the heat.
He’s tired and mired
In shame; having fired
James Comey, he’s bound for defeat.

Trump Gets The Saudi Royal Treatment (Limerick)

Sunday, May 21st, 2017

The Saudis are using all means
To hail Trump, as he swaggers and preens;
To achieve what they need,
They perceive they must feed
Regal sheen to King Donald of Queens.

Say It’s Not So, Joe! (Limerick)

Thursday, May 18th, 2017

Joe Lieberman? FBI head?
Please tell me this rumor is dead.
Law enforcement skills? None!
Built-in conflicts? A ton!
Might as well name dear Jared, instead.

Our “Woe Is Me” President (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

The Donald pretends to be gritty,
But instead he is filled with self-pity.
“I’m the worst-treated pol
In his’try,” he’ll bawl.
Trump’s dignity (bitty) ain’t pretty.

On The Other (Very Tiny) Hand (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

At the risk of appearing too dense,
I must ask if it makes any sense
To impeach Donald Trump,
If success means we’d jump
To a Theocrat President Pence.

Trump’s Keen Mastery Of Economics (Limerick)

Thursday, May 11th, 2017

Keeping a straight face when you interview Trump must be tough … especially for The Economist team; Trump told them he “came up with” the phrase “prime the pump,” and wanted to know if they’d heard it before and understood what it meant.

There once was a wordsmith named Trump,
Who claimed to have coined “prime the pump,”
A phrase that pre-dates
Donald’s birth. Sorry mates,
But his brain remains lodged in his rump.

Comey’s Former Subordinates NOT Happy (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 10th, 2017

Many FBI agents are pissed
Cuz their boss Mr. Comey’s been dissed;
Donald dumped the man rudely
Not shrewdly, but crudely…
Via pretext that’s eas’ly dismissed.

What Ever Happened To Sessions’ Recusal? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 10th, 2017

A serious, honest perusal
Of the pledge Sessions made of recusal
Shows him wrong to assist
Getting Comey dismissed.
Recusal required refusal.

Trump, The Nixonian (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

Seems Donald was getting morose
Cuz Comey was getting too “close.”
So Trump’s crew took their cues
And concocted a ruse
To dismiss him. A Cover-up Gross!

Trump Exercises His Right Not To Exercise (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

A headline like this one demands a limerick: “Donald Trump thinks exercise will kill you.”

Will exercise kill you? The guy
In the Oval believes it. That’s why
Donald looks like he looks.
(I’d been blaming his cooks.)
This explains why to VEEP Pence said “AYE!”

AWOL Trump? (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

According to CNN, Trump’s been out of sight for five straight days.

Dear Donald: You sick? We’re concerned
Cuz for five lengthy days you have spurned
All public events.
Are you feverish? Tense?
Simply taking a respite unearned?

A Dose Of Reality To Douse Trump’s Spirits (Limerick)

Saturday, May 6th, 2017

Dear Donald, your pleasure and awe
Over Trumpcare are marred by a flaw
Eas’ly found with a mouse:
It takes more than one house
To convert your bill into a law.

Donald Disses Turnbull Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, May 4th, 2017

It seems Donald isn’t done dissing Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Not only did he shorten (and push back by several hours) today’s meeting (which was meant to help repair their relationship.) But he did it for the most callow of reasons: An AHCA House passage victory dance.

Donald’s meeting with Trumball today
Was intended to make things okay
’Tween Australia and Trump,
Yet he opted to bump
Their confab for a callow display.

What took precedence over their meeting,
Postponing and short’ning their greeting?
A public hooray
That the AHCA
Passed the House … and some swagg’rin’ chest beating.

Trump’s Love Affair With Strongmen (Limerick)

Thursday, May 4th, 2017

The Donald heaps praise upon strongmen;
Evil despots quite clearly the wrong men
To admire or laud.
Trump’s a terrified fraud;
Naught but one of those cowed “get along” men.

Only Bad People Get Sick? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

According to Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL), sick people don’t deserve affordable healthcare.

If you’re healthy, this means that you’re good.
Only bad folks get sick. Understood?
That’s the gospel of Mo;
Rep. Mo Brooks — what a schmo!
“Christian love” from the GOP hood.

Be Careful What You Wish For (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

As Republicans surely are learning
(Having finally sated their yearning
For one-party rule)
Running government’s cool…
But much harder than blocking and churning.

The Price Of Defiance (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

The Donald keeps shattering norms;
Routine standards? He rarely conforms.
Though it got him the win,
His defiant thin skin
Breeds snafus, chaos, loss, and tweet storms.

Dear Media: Trump ISN’T A Populist, So Stop Calling Him One! (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

Does anyone else cringe when the media calls Trump a “populist?” I suggest these, instead: “purported populist,” “fake populist,” “alleged populist,” just-pretend populist,” or “faux populist.”

A “faux populist” con hurtled Trump
To the White House, the votes from each chump
Gained by promises made
That he’d come to their aid;
Bigly duped by a fraud on the stump.

The President Who Cried “Country Needs A Good ‘Shutdown'” (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

What happens when your own party concludes you’re an untrustworthy negotiating partner? They make a deal with the Dems, and leave you out of the process.

That’s precisely what happened with the budget, and Trump’s been tweeting his unhappiness: “Our country needs a good ‘shutdown’ in September to fix mess.”

A government shutdown is needed,
Tweets Donald, who’s feeling defeated;
The untrustworthy heel
Was left out of the deal
By his party — reality heeded.