Archive for the ‘White House’ Category

The Conspiracy Theorist-in-Chief Strikes Again (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 28th, 2018

Trump’s latest conspiracy theory
(And they all make me terribly weary)
Is that Google is biased;
Bad press appears highest!
Poor Trump — fact-based news makes him teary.

Dishonorable Donald (Limericks)

Monday, August 27th, 2018

I rarely agreed with McCain,
And his votes gave me cause to complain.
But Trump NEVER was fit
To clean John McCain’s shit,
So how DARE he treat John with disdain!

**********

I never supported McCain.
My vote McCain never did gain.
But compared to the rest
Of his party, with zest
(Even dead) my support he’d attain.

Resign Already! (Limerick)

Friday, August 24th, 2018

Hey Donald, it’s time to show spine.
Save your nation and fam’ly — resign!
You destroy and debase;
You’re an Oval disgrace.
While you’re at it, take Pence, your Veep-swine.

Hatch Still Hitched To Trump (Limerick)

Friday, August 24th, 2018

Hatch after Cohen plea deal: ‘I think Trump is a much better person today than he was then.’

Orrin Hatch seems a dignified chap,
But he’s really a Party-first sap.
His virtue is feigned,
His deceit unrestrained.
A Trump lapdog, the man’s full of crap.

The “What’s The Big Deal?” Defense (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018

Trump’s personal lawyer’s confessed
To committing at Donald’s behest
And direction some crimes,
While his party-mate slimes
Are pretending to be unimpressed.

Trump’s Really Really Extra Bad Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

“Guilty” Manafort ain’t going free,
And Cohen has taken a plea.
So brace for more tweets
Packed with self-serving bleats;
Whiny Trump can’t let anything be.

Rudy’s Nuts and That’s The “Truth”

Sunday, August 19th, 2018

Rudy Giuliani to Chuck Todd: “Truth isn’t truth.”

Says Rudy, truth doesn’t exist.
(That lesson in law school I missed.)
Seems reality’s dire
Cuz Trump is a liar,
And the truth can no longer assist.

Gangster Trump Calls John Dean A “RAT” (Limerick)

Sunday, August 19th, 2018

Donald Trump describes Dean as a “RAT.”
How revealing an attitude’s that!
John Dean helped expose
White House crimes, but Trump chose
Gangster slang — law and order my hat!

McGahn’s The Man (Limerick)

Saturday, August 18th, 2018

Headline: “White House Counsel Has Cooperated Extensively With Mueller’s Obstruction Inquiry”

When the Russia probe shit hits the fan,
The fallout won’t land on McGahn.
No he won’t take the fall;
He’s been giving his all
To assisting Bob Mueller. Smart man!

Just Call Donald “His Highness” (Limerick)

Saturday, August 18th, 2018

Headline: “Brennan Says Trump Is ‘Drunk on Power’”

Donald Trump wants his critics to cower,
So he punishes them with a glower.
Since his only concern
Is himself, he will spurn
All restraint, for he’s dead drunk on power.

Trump Won’t Get To Reign In His Parade (Limerick)

Friday, August 17th, 2018

No parade for the Donald! How SAD!
And needless to say, the man’s mad;
He’d looked forward to riding
A tank and presiding
In autocrat fashion … like Vlad.

Trump Can’t Escape Tapes (Limerick)

Monday, August 13th, 2018

Trump made FALSE claims of taping, with drama,
Feigning grievance from fake spy-claim trauma.
But he’s now in bad shape
Cuz his CRONIES have tape.
Seems the only NON-taper’s Obama.

Limerick Ode To Omarosa

Friday, August 10th, 2018

Omarosa, I’d love to believe
All your claims about Trump, but I grieve,
Cuz as much as they sound
Like the Donald, I’m bound
To discount them; like Trump, you deceive.

Trump’s Migrating Standards (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “Melania Trump’s Parents Become U.S. Citizens, Using ‘Chain Migration’ Trump Hates”

The Donald condemns “chain migration”
To enthused and extended ovation.
Yet his wife seems quite pleased
To exploit it. It eased
Her mom and dad’s path to our nation.

Trump Puts Press At Risk (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “Media boost security as Trump ramps up ‘enemy’ rhetoric”

When the media covers Trump rallies,
It’s as risky as ent’ring dark allies.
Donald’s shown us his cards,
So the press now needs guards
Due to menacing crowds and threat tallies.

The GOP’s “Blue Wave” Blues (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “4 signs of a blue wave from Election Day: Republicans should be running scared”

Most Republican leaders see Trump
As creating a GOP slump.
But not Donald! He’ll brag
And pretend the “Trump drag”
Is “fake news,” as our “blue wave” odds jump.

Hypocritical Pence (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 8th, 2018

Mike Pence’s hypocrisy cries out for a limerick:

Vice President Mike Pence once argued the president of the United States should be held to the highest moral standards to determine whether he should resign or be removed from office.”

Pence made the argument in two columns in the late 1990s, where he wrote that then-President Bill Clinton’s admission of an affair with a White House intern and prior lies to the public about the matter, possibly under oath, meant Clinton should be removed from office.

When Bill Clinton was Prez, Pence decried
And denounced Bill’s affairs. How he tried
To get Clinton expelled.
But such quibbles seem quelled;
He’s Trump’s VEEP now, so standards have died.

The Trials Of Manafort (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 7th, 2018

The Manafort trial’s underway,
With evidence damning. Hooray!
So will Paul cop a plea
And cooperate? Gee,
I’ll bet Donald is praying for “nay.”

Open Limerick To The White House Press

Monday, August 6th, 2018

White House briefings don’t give us the news.
No instead they spread self-serving views
And start lie-fest infernos.
They demonize journos.
Why attend them? The press should refuse.

Trump Spreads Fake News About Grocery Shopping (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 1st, 2018

Headline: “Trump appears not to understand grocery shopping in latest push for voter ID laws”

Oh where is my photo I.D.?
I need to buy food. Woe is me!
It’s missing, so now
I can’t buy any chow
Says the Donald. (Not even fresh brie?)