Posts Tagged ‘Gun Lobby’

An Out-Of-Control U.S. Supreme Court? (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021

Headline: “Supreme Court appears skeptical of New York’s restrictive gun-control law”

New York gun control’s likely to slip,
Cuz the highest Fed Court lacks a grip
On our big city needs
To forestall deadly deeds.
I just hope it won’t shoot from the hip!

Guns Don’t Kill People; Doors Kill People (Limerick)

Sunday, May 20th, 2018

Headline: “Texas shooting renews debate about American school design”

The gun-loving NRA faction
Creatively thwarts gun-law action.
Students down on all fours
Dodging death? It blames doors:
Prevent murder by entrance contraction.

Gun Ban Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Monday, April 30th, 2018

USA Today headline: “NRA draws fire from backers, foes for gun ban at event with Vice President Pence”

“Lots of guns make you safer in schools.”
That’s the NRA’s stance — greedy tools!
So they’d arm ev’ry teach,
But when Pence gives a speech
At their meeting — NO GUNS!!! — them’s the rules.

Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.

Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)

Monday, February 26th, 2018

This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”

Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!

Conspiracy Theorists Are Up In Arms (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 21st, 2018

“The high school survivors are actors,”
Claim the gun-demonstration detractors.
“And they’re liberal plants
Coached by dads, mothers, aunts.” —
Anti-gun-control’s prime malefactors.

Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)

Monday, April 1st, 2013

If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.

Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.

The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

I won’t be visiting Jay Laze’s pizza place any time soon:

A Virginia Beach pizza shop owner is showing his support for firearm rights by giving gun owners a 15 percent discount.

The discount is given to anyone who brings a gun or concealed handgun permit to All Around Pizzas and Deli.

The Right To Bear Arms … And Eat Cheap Pizza (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This news from Virginia’s alarming,
Although some may consider it charming:
Bring your gun to Jay’s shop.
Watch your pizza price drop.
I do NOT find this fellow disarming.

The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

After yesterday’s Weapon Wonderland Song Parody, I thought I was done with gun posts for a while. But I guess not:

The NRA Plays Games (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Violent video games are to blame,”
Claims the NRA, much to its shame.
Then it issues its own,
Meant for kids barely grown.
Yes, hypocrisy’s NRA’s name.

UPDATE: There’s some speculation that the National Rifle Association may not be behind this app. However, thus far, the NRA hasn’t disowned it.

Weapon Wonderland Song Parody

Monday, January 14th, 2013

You can hear me attempt to sing my Weapon Wonderland song parody a cappella here. But since I have a lousy voice, it might be safest to just read my parody lyrics:

Weapon Wonderland Song Parody (to be sung to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gun sales surge. Are you listenin’?
Ammunition keeps glistenin’.
They’re arming tonight and causing a fright.
U.S. Constitution arms the land.

People die for no reason.
Children shot! ‘Tis the season.
A terrible blight, each night after night.
Gun rights absolutists harm our land.

NRA and cronies claim our homeland
Must allow their arms in every town,
Claiming guns will help us.
We say “No man!
“The murder stats have got to go way down.”

Weapon fans have conspired.
Now our nation is mired.
With lives we have paid.
New laws must be made.
Or soon we’ll have a gun in every hand.

(Linked at DVerse Poets)

Limerick Ode To Wayne LaPierre

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

The NRA’s Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has a grand solution to incidents like the Newtown massacre: Station armed guards at every school in the country. Sane people aren’t buying it.

Limerick Ode To Wayne LaPierre
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The NRA’s Wayne LaPierre
Is busy pretending to care
About kids who are dead
And the lives that were shred.
But his sole goal is one we can’t bear.

Massacre Message (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2012

I’ve been meaning to write a serious limerick about gun violence for a long time. Today’s tragic Newtown Connecticut school shooting prompted this verse:

Massacre Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mindless murder and mayhem in schools.
U.S. mall assaults — gun wielding ghouls.
We seek a solution,
But hear: “Constitution!”
We need leaders — not NRA tools!

Outgunned By Cowardice (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Roger Simon says it all about gun baloney, but I still have to write this limerick:

Outgunned By Cowardice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Both Obama and Mitt are distressed,
By the movie house murders depressed.
But those gun lobby fears
Beget action-free tears:
Tighten gun control? Surely you jest!

(Cross-posted on Limerick Debate.)