Talking heads are always spouting theories, so why can’t I? This one’s for those who think Ron Paul’s being suspiciously nice to Mitt Romney:
A G(Rand) VEEP Scheme? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Does Ron Paul have a plan rather grand
In helping Mitt further his brand?
Maybe Mitt promised Paul:
“If you’ll kindly play ball,
Then I’ll hand the V.P. slot to Rand.”
Politico poses this query in the title of an article about extremist Republican candidates such as Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, and Dan Maes: “Will its offbeat candidates hurt GOP?”
Offbeat? Talk about an understatement!
While the article does include less euphemistic language, like “downright strange” and “deeply unusual,” it does little to address the radical, extremist planks of these Republican nominees.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
“Offbeat” On The Politico Beat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Politico’s pulled off a feat
In describing the wingnut elite.
Maes and Angle and Paul
Are not radicals all.
These extremists are merely “offbeat.”
Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. Yes, Senator Reid’s opponent will be the wingnutty Sharron Angle, a woman with views so odd, she almost manages to make Rand Paul look semi-normal.
Nevada’s Wingnut Angle (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry’s hopes for November looked bleak,
With Republican odds at their peak.
But he’ll easily wrangle
The wacky Ms. Angle.
Thank you, wingnuts, for picking a freak.
In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. It’s so bad, that he’s already flip-flopping (or pretending to flip-flop) over his views and he was even scared into canceling his scheduled Meet the Press interview.
But Rand Paul isn’t the only guy with a problem — his fellow Republican pols have one too. What do I mean? Well, eventually they’ll have to choose sides: Either stick up for the Republican nominee with the insane views and maintain party loyalty, or disavow Rand Paul’s views and be seen by many as disloyal to the GOP. Good luck with that.
This brings me to my latest three-verse limerick:
Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Sen. nominee known as Rand
Is as odd as they come in this land.
He says cos are endowed
With this right: All’s allowed.
Paul would give them a fully free hand.
If they want to be racist, they may.
Block the Jews from their doors? That’s okay.
Cuz the gospel of Paul
Is no biz regs at all.
So feel free to go fire a gay.
The Republican leaders must choose
To decry (or endorse) these mad views.
There is no in-between.
There’s no hiding, I mean.
Back the Tea Party Guy, and they lose.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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Radical Verse
Thursday, September 16th, 2010Scary people keep winning Republican primaries. For instance:
* Christine O’Donnell in Delaware’s Senate race
* Carl Paladino in New York’s gubernatorial race
* Joe Miller in Alaska’s Senate race
* Rand Paul in Kentucky’s Senate race
* Sharron Angle in Nevada’s Senate race
Yes, I know all about the conventional wisdom — that Democrats should be happy because these extremist Republicans can’t win general elections. But conventional wisdom can sometimes be rather unwise. After all, these candidates weren’t supposed to win the primaries either. Yet here we are.
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Radical Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The primaries made it quite clear
That our nation could lose all that’s dear.
The ballots are toted.
Republicans voted
For radicals. Dems, please don’t cheer.
I’ve been hearing some “general” spin
That these loons can’t November’s vote win.
This assumption’s not sound.
We’re in trouble profound.
We don’t fight? They’ll be in … just like Flynn.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carl Paladino, Christine O'Donnell, Conventional Wisdom, Election Humor, Joe Miller, Rand Paul, Republican Primary, Sharron Angle, Tea Party Members
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Kentucky Humor, Nevada Humor, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Voting Satire, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »