Posts Tagged ‘Nevada’

Is Ron Paul Out-Maneuvering Mitt? (Limerick)

Monday, May 7th, 2012

Rachel Maddow has long been covering Ron Paul’s stealth delegate strategy. Well finally, the rest of the mainstream media is starting to take notice. Here’s the Christian Science Monitor on Ron Paul’s big delegate wins in Maine and Nevada:

… Mr. Paul’s strategy of organizing the grass roots and working arcane delegate selection rules is paying off. And that could mean big trouble for Mitt Romney and his plans to smoothly pivot to a campaign aimed solely at incumbent President Obama.

Is Ron Paul Out-Maneuvering Mitt? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Should Mitt be concerned about Paul
And his stealth, oddball delegate haul?
A Ron Paul power play
Could create disarray —
Tampa might not be dull, after all.

The Limerick Romney Wanted To Send Trump

Monday, February 6th, 2012

This headline is funny, but not surprising: Donald Trump Takes Credit For Mitt Romney’s Big Win In Nevada:

“There was a lot riding on that particular race in Nevada and it was interesting, because the numbers were much, much greater than you thought,” Trump gloated. “And a lot of people are giving me credit for that. And I will accept that credit.”

Here’s the limerick that Romney staffers talked Mitt out of sending:

The Limerick Romney Wanted To Send Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Donald, big thanks for your backing,
But I fear that your modesty’s lacking.
My win in Nevada
Was ME. You did NADA!
I regret I did not send you packing.

TSA Rules Still Don’t Gel (Limerick)

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

This TSA incident surely takes the cake:

A woman says an airport security officer in Las Vegas confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be explosive.

It seems the TSA agent told her the cupcake’s “frosting was ‘gel-like’ enough to constitute a security risk.”

TSA Rules Still Don’t Gel (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The TSA rules must be eased
Cuz a cupcake in Vegas was seized.
And when icing on cakes
Is deemed fishy, it makes
All the TSA guys look diseased.

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up

Monday, January 31st, 2011

In case you’ve been wondering what Sharron Angle’s been up to, I’ve got the answer: Senator Harry Reid’s former Republican challenger is giving speeches about makeup.

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but true. On January 21st, Angle spoke at a makeup convention in Las Vegas. Here’s how SeneGence International’s promotional material described Angle’s talk:

Sharron will be sharing her beauty and makeup challenges during the campaign and how she overcame them! She had confidence that she would look great with 14 -16 hour days & with numerous appearances daily… so can you!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I vowed that I never would mention
Sharon Angle again — gives me tension.
But I just can’t resist
Her last gig which I missed:
A speech at a makeup convention.

Why So “Liberal” With Charlie Rangel Coverage?

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

I don’t meant to minimize the importance of the Congressional ethics charges against Rep. Charlie Rangel. But I can’t help wondering why the media can’t spare just a bit of space to cover the FBI’s criminal investigation into Sen. John Ensign. Hey journalists — I thought you liked covering juicy scandals involving money and sex.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Why So “Liberal” With Charlie Rangel Coverage?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ve a question dear journos — a gem.
And kindly don’t haw and don’t hem.
Where’s your cov’rage of Ensign?
You sure love dispensin’
The dirt on Rep. Rangel — the Dem.

Nevada’s Wingnut Angle

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. Yes, Senator Reid’s opponent will be the wingnutty Sharron Angle, a woman with views so odd, she almost manages to make Rand Paul look semi-normal.

Nevada’s Wingnut Angle (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Harry’s hopes for November looked bleak,
With Republican odds at their peak.
But he’ll easily wrangle
The wacky Ms. Angle.
Thank you, wingnuts, for picking a freak.

Dueling Scandals

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Senator John Ensign surely celebrated when Governor Mark Sanford’s soul-mate scandal took Ensign’s sex-capade off Page 1.

But not for long! Ensign’s scandal is back, and it’s better than ever:

Dueling Scandals (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some scandals appear to be fleeting,
Like Ensign’s with Sanford competing.
But Ensign’s is back
With his pay-off scheme flack.
Guess whose scandal is next — please, no cheating.