Posts Tagged ‘Wingnuts’

Ode To Wingnuttery

Tuesday, March 11th, 2014

Ode To Wingnuttery
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama is a “tyrant,”
wingnuts tell us ev’ry day.
But they also claim his “cowardice”
makes Putin go astray.

Seems Obama’s “too aggressive,
seizing power with his pen,”
when he isn’t just a “weakling.”
You bewildered yet? Amen!

Goodbye Limerick For Michele Bachmann

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann has decided not to seek a 5th Congressional term. So it’s time for a goodbye limerick:

Goodbye Limerick For Michele Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Michele Bachmann, you’ll surely be missed.
You’ve provided such humor mill grist.
But we mockers are blessed
With a huge treasure chest
Of wingnuts at whom to get pissed.

Louie Gohmert is tops on that list.
Ted Cruz and Steve King still exist.
So we’ve fodder galore;
Finding humor’s no chore
With a party like yours in our midst.

Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

As long as the GOP’s packed with headline-grabbing wingnuts like Michele Bachmann, the Republican reboot’s going nowhere:

Attention, GOP: Your rebranding attempts are being undercut by a segment of your party getting big headlines and lots of airtime — a segment symbolized by the Minnesota quote-machine, Rep. Michele Bachmann. Due to a series of gaffes, she is again on the receiving end of criticism, including from Fox News powerhouse Bill O’Reilly. The congresswoman is also, as reported by The Daily Beast’s John Avlon, “embroiled in a litany of legal proceedings related to her rolling disaster of a presidential campaign — including an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation into campaign improprieties.”

…She speaks in apocalyptic terms about President Obama and Democrats. She has never met an inaccuracy or exaggeration she didn’t like in her thirst to negatively define the other side. (Fact-checkers following her speeches may soon have to seek workmen’s compensation.)…

Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP wants to reboot—
Switch its image from crazy old coot
To something appealing,
More meanness-concealing—
A change that its zealots refute.

Batty Birthers Are Gunning For … Justice Roberts??? (Limerick)

Monday, January 7th, 2013

The Birthers are making trouble once again:

The reliably unhinged crazies over at WorldNetDaily have a new axe to grind when it comes to their tiresome obsession with proving that President Obama is not legally entitled to serve in the office he’s held for four years and counting. Their latest gambit involves insisting that Chief Justice John Roberts is violating the Constitution by administering the oath of office to the president for the second time on January 21, and warning that he will be subject to “impeachment and eternal dishonor” if he does so.

Batty Birthers Are Gunning For … Justice Roberts??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The birthers are at it again:
Stop Barack’s Oval swear-in, their yen.
Oath of office — abort,
They John Roberts exhort.
Seems impeachment’s their wet dream — both men.

Limerick Ode To Hillary Haters

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Now that Hillary Clinton has been diagnosed with a blood clot in her head, Jeff Greenfield asks an excellent question:

Wonder if those sarcastically doubting Sec. Clinton’s health will have the decency to apologize….I’m not exactly holding my breath.

Limerick Ode To Hillary Haters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The haters are out to get Hill,
Spewing venom and meanness and swill,
Asserting with shrillness,
“She’s faking her illness!”
Is a blood clot sufficiently ill?

Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.

C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.

E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.

G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.

I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.

K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.

M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.

O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.

Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.

S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.

U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.

W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.

Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.

(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This undoubtedly sounds naive, but I keep expecting the GOP to disavow Florida Rep. Allen West’s insane lies. (The guy makes your average Birther look nearly normal.) But so far, it hasn’t happened.

West’s claim that up to 80 U.S. Congressional Democrats are Communists is merely the latest example of West’s nutcase rantings. And my search for evidence that Republicans are repudiating his pernicious nonsense yielded nothing but an angry complaint and denial from Libero Della Piana, a vice-chairman of the Communist Party USA.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Rep. Allen West
Invents scandalous falsehoods with zest.
His mad claims don’t compute,
Yet his party stays mute —
His lies thus implicitly blessed.

SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:

To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!

That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.

Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.

SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.

Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.

DOMA Dollars

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

For someone who claims we’re broke, John Boehner certainly has some interesting priorities:

House Republicans plan to pay former Solicitor General Paul Clement and his legal team from King & Spaulding as much as $500,000 of taxpayer money to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on behalf of House of Representatives…

As Steve Benen says:

… Boehner has been running around for months, falsely claiming, “We’re broke.” It’s how he justifies proposed cuts in critical areas like education, medical research, infrastructure, job training, and homeland security, even if it makes the jobs crisis much worse.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

DOMA Dollars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner asserts that we’re broke,
But wastes cash to please wingnutty folk:
Big taxpayer bucks
On a lawyer deluxe
To save DOMA — for bigots bespoke.

Limerick Ode To A Government Shutdown

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

Limerick Ode to A Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The thought of a government shutdown
Should be quickly, decisively cut down.
But I fear that we’re screwed
Cuz of Washington’s mood:
Boehner’s party has turned into Nut Town.

It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

I, for one, am enjoying the Bill Kristol / Glenn Beck feud:

Last week, Fox News’ Glenn Beck launched a week-long effort to explain developments in Egypt as only he can. The deranged media personality cooked up truly bizarre conspiracy theories — even by his standards…

Over the weekend, The Weekly Standard’s William Kristol, a Fox News contributor, had seen enough. “[H]ysteria is not a sign of health,” Kristol wrote in a new column. “When Glenn Beck rants about the caliphate taking over the Middle East from Morocco to the Philippines, and lists (invents?) the connections between caliphate-promoters and the American left, he brings to mind no one so much as Robert Welch and the John Birch Society. He’s marginalizing himself, just as his predecessors did back in the early 1960s.”

Now let’s face it — Glenn Beck’s behavior has to be pretty crazy for a neoconservative like Kristol to write that sort of critique. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill Kristol said Beck’s gone too far,
Which means Glenn’s scaled a very high bar.
Cuz when Bill says enough
To a wingnut, that’s rough.
Yes, Glenn’s sanity’s way under par.

Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Every so often I sum up a period in alpha-political verse. For instance, I did one about the opening months of the Obama administration. I also did two about the Bush administration, one a not-so-fond farewell to Bush and Cheney and the other a satirical summary of their disastrous first term.

This mid-term election period has been so bizarre, that I couldn’t resist doing another one:

Alpha-Political Verse: Election 2010
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A is for Alaska, whose incumbent needs good spelling.

B is for Barack. The GOP sure wants his dwelling.

C is for Christine who’s anti-gay and masturbation.

D’s for Delaware debates, where laughter ain’t ovation.

E is for elections. Dems lose bad — so say the seers.

F’s for foreign cash galore supporting GOPers.

G is for Glenn Beck and all the crazy stuff he says.

H is for Sec. Hillary. Too bad that gal ain’t Prez.

I’s for Darrell Issa who is itching to impeach.

J is for John Boehner — smells majority in reach.

K is for Ken Mehlman who is fin’ly out as gay.

L’s for Libertarians who, like Rand, to regs say “Nay!”

M is for Joe Miller — seems he doesn’t like the press.

N’s for Speaker Nancy P. Her House is sure a mess.

O’s For Bill O’Reilly versus Joy and Whoopi. Wow!

P’s for Paladino. Angry bully? Yes, and how!

Q’s for all the questions the extremists won’t address.

R’s for Reid’s tough Angle bout. I’m worried, I confess.

S is for Mike Steele who claims to run the RNC.

T is for the Tenthers and their anti-fed law spree.

U is for our Union which secessionists would flee.

V is for the voters drinking Kool-Aid-flavored tea.

W’s for the many wars we’re fighting — can’t keep track.

X is for the xenophobic anti-”other” pack.

Y is for the youth. We really need them at the polls.

And Z’s for right-wing zealots. We must squash their ugly goals.

“Offbeat” On The Politico Beat

Friday, August 13th, 2010

Politico poses this query in the title of an article about extremist Republican candidates such as Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, and Dan Maes: “Will its offbeat candidates hurt GOP?”

Offbeat? Talk about an understatement!

While the article does include less euphemistic language, like “downright strange” and “deeply unusual,” it does little to address the radical, extremist planks of these Republican nominees.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

“Offbeat” On The Politico Beat
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Politico’s pulled off a feat
In describing the wingnut elite.
Maes and Angle and Paul
Are not radicals all.
These extremists are merely “offbeat.”

The Birth Of Lunacy

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

As I wrote Monday, David Vitter has an unexpected primary fight on his hands. Well, apparently he’s now so desperate to hold on to the wingnut vote, that he’s turned into a full-fledged Birther.

At a town hall event Sunday, he made it clear that he backs Birther lawsuits challenging President Obama’s citizenship, saying he supports “conservative legal organizations and others who would bring that to court.”

That brings me to my latest David Vitter limerick:

The Birth Of Lunacy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

David Vitter has told us his view
Of the Birther position, on cue.
He profoundly approves
And says it behooves
Those with standing to sue, baby, sue.

Nevada’s Wingnut Angle

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. Yes, Senator Reid’s opponent will be the wingnutty Sharron Angle, a woman with views so odd, she almost manages to make Rand Paul look semi-normal.

Nevada’s Wingnut Angle (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Harry’s hopes for November looked bleak,
With Republican odds at their peak.
But he’ll easily wrangle
The wacky Ms. Angle.
Thank you, wingnuts, for picking a freak.

Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. It’s so bad, that he’s already flip-flopping (or pretending to flip-flop) over his views and he was even scared into canceling his scheduled Meet the Press interview.

But Rand Paul isn’t the only guy with a problem — his fellow Republican pols have one too. What do I mean? Well, eventually they’ll have to choose sides: Either stick up for the Republican nominee with the insane views and maintain party loyalty, or disavow Rand Paul’s views and be seen by many as disloyal to the GOP. Good luck with that.

This brings me to my latest three-verse limerick:

Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Sen. nominee known as Rand
Is as odd as they come in this land.
He says cos are endowed
With this right: All’s allowed.
Paul would give them a fully free hand.

If they want to be racist, they may.
Block the Jews from their doors? That’s okay.
Cuz the gospel of Paul
Is no biz regs at all.
So feel free to go fire a gay.

The Republican leaders must choose
To decry (or endorse) these mad views.
There is no in-between.
There’s no hiding, I mean.
Back the Tea Party Guy, and they lose.

Maine Mishigas

Monday, May 17th, 2010

Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve?

Do you believe there’s “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth”?

Do you think the U.S. should adopt “Austrian Economics,” abrogate the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and resist “efforts to create a one world government”?

Then do I have a Republican Party Platform for you:

Maine Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Party of Maine
Has apparently gone quite insane.
It has managed to fill
Its new platform with swill.
What an odd way to run a campaign.

But citizens tend to ignore
Party platforms — they’re often a bore.
So Dems, spread the word
Re this platform absurd.
Cuz (if known) it has little allure.

Note: I suppose a crazy party platform should be expected from people who’d behave like this while they’re adopting it:

The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Exposition Building, which is on Park Avenue, near the middle school. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford.

When Clifford returned to school on Monday, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, “Working People Vote Republican.”

Later, Clifford learned that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about “anti-American” things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.

Obama’s What???

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

How amusing! We’ve moved from “Obama’s Katrina” to “Obama’s Harriet Miers.” Yes, wingnutty Republicans are invoking Harriet Miers in discussing Obama’s U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Sorry, Redstate and the rest of you, the answer to “Will this be President Obama’s Harriet Miers Moment?” is “No!”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Obama’s What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Obama’s Katrina,” they say.
“Obama’s H. Miers,” they pray.
To the wingnuts give thanks
For reminding the ranks
Of the many ways Bush went astray.

Related Posts: U.S. Supreme Court Humor

Senseless About The Census

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Attention unhinged wingnuts: Obama’s Census illegally invades your privacy!

That’s a paranoid lie of course, but one that was started by Michele Bachmann and her cohorts. Ironically, it’s been reducing U.S. Census compliance to the detriment of the very people who are bitching about it. Here’s Philly Inq’s Dick Polman:

In the kingdom of ignorance, this story reigns:

Anti-government conservatives – apparently clueless about the history of the country they want to “take back,” and willfully believing the Pinocchio whoppers circulated via spam mail, talk radio, and YouTube – are currently engaged in a fascinating form of protest. Millions are refusing to fill out their 2010 Census forms.

***

The trend is so alarming that one Republican congressman, Patrick McHenry of North Carolina, felt compelled yesterday to plead with his right-wing brethren to fill out the forms; as he wrote on redstate.com, the popular conservative site, “If we do not respond, we will not be counted, and if we are not counted, then we effectively will not exist.”

Most notably, he urged his readers not to believe “the blatant misinformation” that has been circulated by “otherwise well-meaning conservatives.” Which was a polite way of saying, “Don’t listen to the liars.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Senseless About The Census
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Crazed conservative protestors scream:
We must “take back” our nation’s their theme.
Self-destructively rash,
They treat Census like trash.
Good luck with their blockheaded scheme!

Testy Republicans

Monday, November 30th, 2009

By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative “purity test,” a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party “undesirables.”

Under this test (Reagan’s Unity Principle for Support of Candidates), if you’re not right-wing enough to pass muster on at least eight of ten position points, you forfeit RNC support.

How ironic and amusing that Ronald Reagan, the “purity test’s” namesake, couldn’t come close to passing it.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Testy Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans want to ensure
That all of its members are pure:
Wrong on 3 of 10 planks?
Then it’s “Sorry, no thanks,”
Cuz you’re lacking in wingnut allure.

So how odd that their “God” would not pass
This purity test — what a gas!
Reagan’s record is clear:
He would fail, were he here.
Yet he’s Prez nonpareil, under grass.