Archive for the ‘Political Speeches’ Category

So Much For That Pivot (3-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

At his speech Tuesday night, Trump seemed sane.
His proposals still sucked, but his brain
And behavior looked stable.
(Less time watching cable?)
Fawning pundits were ably inane:

Trump’s “pivot” was praised by the press,
Who perceived “presidential” finesse.
Heavy meds (I assume)
Might explain his brief bloom
Into something much less of a mess.

But his meds have worn off, I conclude,
Based on stark-raving tweets that he spewed
Just today. Yes his feed
On Twitter indeed
Proves our leader’s a bleeping-mad dude.

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

The reviews for Trump’s speech, in the main,
Were swell, cuz he seemed to be sane:
He read his speech well;
Did not rant, rave, or yell.
What a low bar we’ve set for his reign.

Bracing For Trump’s Speech To Congress (Limerick)

Monday, February 27th, 2017

Although Trump has circulated a bullet point outline of tomorrow night’s speech, here’s what I’m expecting:

Please get ready for Donald to speak
Before Congress on Tuesday this week,
Where he’ll beef about press
And he’ll shriek “We’re a mess,
Only I can address!” (That’s my “leak.”)

Trump On Exhibit (Limerick)

Saturday, February 11th, 2017

Trump exhibits his madness with ease,
Via speeches and tweet-tantrum sprees.
Donald’s saneness is wee
And he’s vain as can be.
It’s as plain as his gold Trump marquees.

Trump “Bronx Cheered” In Manhattan (Limerick)

Friday, October 21st, 2016

At a charity, heckling is rare,
But Trump got derision to spare
At the Alfred Smith Dinner.
Trump wasn’t the winner?
“Rigged” booing, no doubt. How unfair!

Limerick Ode To Melania’s Convention Speech

Tuesday, July 19th, 2016

Melania’s speech was revealing;
In her push to make Donald appealing,
She stole lines from Michelle
About values. Oh well,
This confirms that both Trumps value stealing.

Limerick Ode to Donald “The Martyr” Trump

Saturday, March 12th, 2016

Was the speech that Trump canceled a ruse
Designed to manipulate news?
To martyrize Trump
On his campaign swing stump?
“Trump’s been blocked from expressing his views!!!”

Unlike most Trump events little vetting
Was done to ensure Trump was netting
A crowd of supporters
Plus penned-in reporters.
Seems on violence The Donald was betting.

Open Limerick To Jeb Bush

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

When you’re giving a speech, my dear chap,
And you’re forced to ask people, “please clap,
That is sadder than sad.
Your campaign’s beyond bad.
Put a cap on your race. It’s a wrap!

Frankly, They’re Lying (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

You probably know this old chestnut of a joke: “How can you tell when a politician is lying? When his (or her) lips move.”

Here’s my own slightly less cynical lie detection technique:

How do you know that a politician is lying? The word ‘frankly’ comes out of his/her mouth.

Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina seem especially fond of the word ‘frankly,’ but they’re certainly not alone in having that ‘tell.’

Pols frequently telegraph lies.
For example, I’m quick to surmise
That a whopper’s about
To be told by some lout
When he uses the ‘frankly’ disguise.

Limerick Ode To Politifact’s Liar Of The Year

Monday, December 21st, 2015

Congratulations to Donald Trump on winning the Politifact 2015 Lie of the Year Award!

The “Lie of the Year” prize is Trump’s.
Though many pols fib, Donald jumps
To the top of the list;
His stump speech’s gist
Is take dumps on the truth to hook chumps.

Leadership? (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

Leadership? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The words of most pols seem so hollow.
They say little I’m able to swallow.
All those lines that they feed us
While trying to lead us
Persuade me it’s best not to follow.

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.

Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.

I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.

But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:

“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”

Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”

“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.

Another Commission? “Ben” There, Done That (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

I generally liked Obama’s SOTU speech. But his voting rights commission plan is unadulterated crapola. How do you give the illusion of dealing with a problem, while doing nothing at all? Appoint a commission.

Obama’s decision to create a voter suppression commission would be bad enough. But he added insult to injury by naming Mitt Romney campaign lawyer Ben Ginsberg to his two-person panel. The very same Ben Ginsberg who helped lead the 2000 recount effort for George W. Bush — an attorney who considers voter suppression a feature, not a bug.

Another Commission? “Ben” There, Done That (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Since voter suppression’s the mission
Of Republicans, voter attrition
Will keep getting worse.
A commission’s a curse.
We need action with great expedition.

Open Limerick To The Media

Monday, February 11th, 2013

As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?

Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.

So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”

Limerick Ode To McCain, The Conciliator

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Republican pols, most notably John McCain, didn’t find Obama’s second inaugural address sufficiently conciliatory. Here’s McCain:

“There was very little reaching out to the other side,” he said. “It was a fine speech, but I didn’t hear any conciliatory remarks. I didn’t see any specific reference like, ‘I reach out my hand to the other side of the aisle.’ “

Limerick Ode To McCain, The Conciliator
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Obama’s Inaugural wraps,
John McCain now complains of a lapse:
Just where in the speech
Does the President reach
Cross the aisle to invite some more slaps?

Limerick Ode To “Tough Guy” Romney

Monday, October 8th, 2012

So, is everyone impressed with Mitt Romney’s big deal foreign policy speech?

I didn’t think so.

Limerick Ode To “Tough Guy” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’ll speak loudly and wave a big stick:
That would summarize Mitt Romney’s schtick
Foreign policy-wise.
Sounds a lot like those guys
Who made rather a mess — Dub and Dick.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gave a speech today at the Brookings Institution. His appearance featured this amusing gaffe:

“I left my last page of the speech, does anyone have my last page? Did I Ieave it with you?”

Now such a slip-up wouldn’t ordinarily be limerick-worthy. However, Rubio seems to have a “glass house” problem:

Rubio calls President Obama “the most articulate and talented teleprompter reader in America,” a line that drew big laughter and applause in East Manatee.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How ironic that Rubio’s known
To have thrown a speech-mockery stone
At Barack. It’s self-bruising
And rather amusing
When Rubio screws up his own.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

If any Republican operative should know not to joke about killing President Obama, it’s pollster/wordsmith Frank Luntz. And yet that’s precisely what he did:

If you think the race for the Republican presidential nomination has been ugly, you’re right. However, a recent joke by Republican pollster and Fox News analyst Frank Luntz indicates that the general election promises to be even uglier. Warming up a crowd at a Rick Santorum campaign event Monday night, Luntz cracked, “I have a ‘Run, Barack, Run’ bumper sticker, but I put it on the front of my car.

Here’s Rachel Maddow’s story on this, including the video of Luntz’s running-President-Obama-over joke.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican messaging czar
Is an expert at framing — a star.
Yet he loves to tee-hee
That Obama must flee,
Or be struck by a GOP car.

Ode To Mitt “I like being able to fire people” Romney

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

By now you’ve surely seen Mitt Romney’s “I like being able to fire people” video clip.

Ode To Mitt “I like being able to fire people” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I like … to fire people,”
Said Mitt Romney, with a smile.
This quote, while out-of-context,
Will be sure to irk and rile.

And well it should: The pleasure
Mitt conveys with eyes aglow
Reveals that Mitt seems happy
Telling people, “Time to go.”

No doubt he’ll claim unfairness:
He meant those who’d earned his boot,
And ads that use this sound bite
Are misleading.
What a hoot!

Mitt Romney’s out-of-context ads
Are packed with sneaky bile,
Defaming his opponents,
And misleading by a mile.

It’s Mitt who set the standard:
Once a word’s been said, it’s game.
So if context doesn’t matter,
Here’s to treating Mitt the same.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Blah” Santorum

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Rick Santorum must think we’re stupid. He’s claiming that his racist reference to “black people” and welfare was really a reference to “blah people.”

Limerick Ode To Rick “Blah” Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re black, Rick Santorum’s a fan.
That’s true, be you woman or man.
But to folks who are “blah”
Rick Santorum says “Nah!”
It’s the “blah” people Ricky will pan.