Archive for the ‘Political Speeches’ Category

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.

Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.

I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.

But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:

“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”

Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”

“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.

Another Commission? “Ben” There, Done That (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

I generally liked Obama’s SOTU speech. But his voting rights commission plan is unadulterated crapola. How do you give the illusion of dealing with a problem, while doing nothing at all? Appoint a commission.

Obama’s decision to create a voter suppression commission would be bad enough. But he added insult to injury by naming Mitt Romney campaign lawyer Ben Ginsberg to his two-person panel. The very same Ben Ginsberg who helped lead the 2000 recount effort for George W. Bush — an attorney who considers voter suppression a feature, not a bug.

Another Commission? “Ben” There, Done That (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Since voter suppression’s the mission
Of Republicans, voter attrition
Will keep getting worse.
A commission’s a curse.
We need action with great expedition.

Open Limerick To The Media

Monday, February 11th, 2013

As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?

Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.

So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”

Limerick Ode To McCain, The Conciliator

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Republican pols, most notably John McCain, didn’t find Obama’s second inaugural address sufficiently conciliatory. Here’s McCain:

“There was very little reaching out to the other side,” he said. “It was a fine speech, but I didn’t hear any conciliatory remarks. I didn’t see any specific reference like, ‘I reach out my hand to the other side of the aisle.’ “

Limerick Ode To McCain, The Conciliator
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Obama’s Inaugural wraps,
John McCain now complains of a lapse:
Just where in the speech
Does the President reach
Cross the aisle to invite some more slaps?

Limerick Ode To “Tough Guy” Romney

Monday, October 8th, 2012

So, is everyone impressed with Mitt Romney’s big deal foreign policy speech?

I didn’t think so.

Limerick Ode To “Tough Guy” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’ll speak loudly and wave a big stick:
That would summarize Mitt Romney’s schtick
Foreign policy-wise.
Sounds a lot like those guys
Who made rather a mess — Dub and Dick.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gave a speech today at the Brookings Institution. His appearance featured this amusing gaffe:

“I left my last page of the speech, does anyone have my last page? Did I Ieave it with you?”

Now such a slip-up wouldn’t ordinarily be limerick-worthy. However, Rubio seems to have a “glass house” problem:

Rubio calls President Obama “the most articulate and talented teleprompter reader in America,” a line that drew big laughter and applause in East Manatee.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How ironic that Rubio’s known
To have thrown a speech-mockery stone
At Barack. It’s self-bruising
And rather amusing
When Rubio screws up his own.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

If any Republican operative should know not to joke about killing President Obama, it’s pollster/wordsmith Frank Luntz. And yet that’s precisely what he did:

If you think the race for the Republican presidential nomination has been ugly, you’re right. However, a recent joke by Republican pollster and Fox News analyst Frank Luntz indicates that the general election promises to be even uglier. Warming up a crowd at a Rick Santorum campaign event Monday night, Luntz cracked, “I have a ‘Run, Barack, Run’ bumper sticker, but I put it on the front of my car.

Here’s Rachel Maddow’s story on this, including the video of Luntz’s running-President-Obama-over joke.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican messaging czar
Is an expert at framing — a star.
Yet he loves to tee-hee
That Obama must flee,
Or be struck by a GOP car.

Ode To Mitt “I like being able to fire people” Romney

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

By now you’ve surely seen Mitt Romney’s “I like being able to fire people” video clip.

Ode To Mitt “I like being able to fire people” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I like … to fire people,”
Said Mitt Romney, with a smile.
This quote, while out-of-context,
Will be sure to irk and rile.

And well it should: The pleasure
Mitt conveys with eyes aglow
Reveals that Mitt seems happy
Telling people, “Time to go.”

No doubt he’ll claim unfairness:
He meant those who’d earned his boot,
And ads that use this sound bite
Are misleading.
What a hoot!

Mitt Romney’s out-of-context ads
Are packed with sneaky bile,
Defaming his opponents,
And misleading by a mile.

It’s Mitt who set the standard:
Once a word’s been said, it’s game.
So if context doesn’t matter,
Here’s to treating Mitt the same.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Blah” Santorum

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Rick Santorum must think we’re stupid. He’s claiming that his racist reference to “black people” and welfare was really a reference to “blah people.”

Limerick Ode To Rick “Blah” Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re black, Rick Santorum’s a fan.
That’s true, be you woman or man.
But to folks who are “blah”
Rick Santorum says “Nah!”
It’s the “blah” people Ricky will pan.

Limerick Ode To Newt “The Thinker” Gingrich

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

New York Magazine’s Dana Amira has the numerical dirt on something that’s annoyed me for decades: Newt Gingrich’s over-use of pretentious words like profoundly, deeply, frankly, and fundamentally.

Limerick Ode To Newt “The Thinker” Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Frankly speaking, Newt likes to amass
Pompous adverbs to give himself class.
He feigns gravitas soundly
With deeply, profoundly.
Fundamentally, Newt is an ass.

Limerick Ode To The New, Improved Obama

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

This devout progressive has been very hard on Obama lately … and with good reason. But the debt ceiling debacle, liberal anger, and sinking poll numbers seem to have woken him up. Suddenly, Obama is the new, improved, assertive, populist President. And many former fans are welcoming back the President they thought they elected.

So, am I cheering? Well, let’s just say I’m giving Obama guarded applause. For while I like some of his jobs and tax proposals, and I love his newly confident, aggressive tone, I’m not convinced that any of this will last.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Limerick Ode To The New, Improved Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It fin’ly has dawned on Barack
That with lib’rals he’s lost lots of stock.
His base and foundation
Could be his salvation.
I just hope his new stance ain’t a crock.

Limerick Ode To John Boehner

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

John Boehner’s jobs speech was rather hypocritical, as Greg Sargent points out. Sargent highlights two rather inconsistent sentences:

“If we want to create a better environment for job creation, politicians of all stripes can leave the ‘my way or the highway’ philosophy behind.”

And there was also this:

“Tax increases, however, are not a viable option for the Joint Committee.”

Such hypocrisy cries out for a limerick:

Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Boehner’s job speech surprised me a tad.
He said, My way or highway is bad.
Sounded promising till
He continued, No bill
Will raise taxes.
Hypocrisy’s sad.

Limerick Ode To A Speech Spat

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

I’ve bemoaned Obama’s bad negotiation skills in the past. But the latest brouhaha over a date to speak before Congress really takes the cake:

Limerick Ode To A Speech Spat
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, you waged a dumb fight
Over speech dates, and lost — not too bright!
Tell me, how did you make
Such a rookie mistake?
It’s no wonder your wins are so slight.

Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost feel sorry for Christine O’Donnell. No, I’m not talking about O’Donnell’s paltry book sales. I’m referring to her being bigfooted by Sarah Palin out of an appearance at a Tea Party of America rally.

Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin’s a very spoiled brat.
To other gal pols she says, “Scat!”
Prima donna bar none —
She would bar ev’ry one,
Looking down from her very high hat.

Limerick Ode to Michele “Just Joking” Bachmann

Monday, August 29th, 2011

The current crop of Republicans is notoriously callous, and Michele Bachmann is no exception. Here’s what she said about Hurricane Irene and other natural disasters:

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people, because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet, and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Of course, her campaign is now claiming “Bachmann Spoke ‘In Jest’ When She Said God Was Communicating Via Earthquakes And Hurricanes.”

Limerick Ode to Michele “Just Joking” Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Irene was a message from God,
Said Michelle in a right-wingnut nod.
Then she claimed she was jesting,
Cuz bad press was cresting.
That loon as our Prez? Then we’re scrod.

Who’s Our President, Again?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

A good way to gauge a Republican pol’s classiness quotient is his or her response to Osama bin Laden’s killing:

Do they congratulate everyone who deserves credit, including President Obama?

Do they act as if Barack Obama was merely carrying out Bush’s bidding?

Do they pretend Obama doesn’t even exist?

Needless to say, Sarah Palin has failed the classiness test.

Who’s Our President, Again?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republican comments show class
And give credit where due without sass:
Mitt Romney and Dub
And Pawlenty don’t snub
Prez Obama. But Palin’s an ass.

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up

Monday, January 31st, 2011

In case you’ve been wondering what Sharron Angle’s been up to, I’ve got the answer: Senator Harry Reid’s former Republican challenger is giving speeches about makeup.

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but true. On January 21st, Angle spoke at a makeup convention in Las Vegas. Here’s how SeneGence International’s promotional material described Angle’s talk:

Sharron will be sharing her beauty and makeup challenges during the campaign and how she overcame them! She had confidence that she would look great with 14 -16 hour days & with numerous appearances daily… so can you!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I vowed that I never would mention
Sharon Angle again — gives me tension.
But I just can’t resist
Her last gig which I missed:
A speech at a makeup convention.

John Boehner — Exceptionally Wrong

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Speaker of the House John Boehner apparently can sleep with his eyes open. How else do we explain his odd (and objectively wrong) criticism of Obama’s State of the Union Speech?

If there’s one thing President Obama did go on about a bit about in the State of the Union, it was American exceptionalism — as the National Journal’s Ron Fournier noted at some length.

Two who didn’t entirely notice were Speaker John Boehner and Kathleen Parker. From Parker-Spitzer:

BOEHNER: Well, they — they’ve refused to talk about America exceptionalism. …

It should also be noted that Obama called Boehner Speaker of “The Greatest Nation on Earth.”

Boehner’s nonsensical complaint inspired my latest limerick:

John Boehner — Exceptionally Wrong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Exceptionalism was missing
From the SOTU says Boehner, dismissing
Obama’s big speech
Which he tries to impeach.
Not list’ning enables the dissing.

Harry Reid’s Not So Hot Remark

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

When it comes to sexism posing as a compliment, I try to cut Harry Reid’s generation some slack. But Senator Reid really ought to know better:

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had an unusual form of praise for New York’s junior senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, this morning at the fundraiser Mayor Bloomberg hosted for him at his townhouse – referring to her as “the hottest member” as she sat just a few feet away, according to three sources.

The comment prompted Gillibrand to turn red, according to the sources, and created a bit of stir among the small crowd there.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Harry Reid’s Not So Hot Remark
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kirsten Gillibrand’s hot says Sen. Reid —
The Sen’s “hottest member,” indeed.
Now I know Harry’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But that “compliment’s” sexist. Take heed.

Here’s more on subtle sexism, including my Gender At Work essay. (Gender at Work, under the name My Most Attractive Adversary, is the lead Gender Gap chapter essay in a pair of college textbooks by Gary Goshgarian: The Contemporary Reader and Readings For Today.)

My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

I have a dream that one day crazed liars like Glenn Beck will no longer pollute our television and radio waves and the Internet.

I have a dream that one day the American people will stop being suckered by deranged media personalities like Glenn Beck.

I have a dream that one day Glenn Beck will headline a rally like his “restore honor” to America rally scheduled on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream Speech” … and nobody will show up.

My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh, I have a dream for Glenn Beck:
That he’ll lose his unending blank check
To spread mad, evil lies
That are greeted as wise,
When they’re really insidious dreck.