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Archive for the ‘Politics Satire’ Category

“Deem and Pass” Ditty

Saturday, March 20th, 2010

The House has apparently ditched the “deem and pass” health reform voting mechanism. Instead, it will hold separate up-or-down votes on the Senate health care bill and on the changes to that bill. While various explanations have been given, my limerick explains the real reason “deem and pass” plans have been abandoned:

“Deem and Pass” Ditty
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So “deem and pass” will not be used.
Not surprised — I was rather bemused:
To me, it was seemin’
It sounded like “demon.”
Of framing faux pas the phrase oozed.

Et Tu, Dennis?

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. “Something is better than nothing,” the Ohio Congressman explained.

I’m not at all sure I buy the half a loaf theory because I have zero faith in Obama and his fellow Dems. I just don’t believe Democrats will ever manage to improve their health reform recipe.

Et Tu, Dennis? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama takes lib’rals for granted,
And with Dennis’s “no” vote recanted,
It appears that he’s right:
Lib’ral pols have no fight!
Count this lib’ral as quite disenchanted.

Related Post: Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!

J.D. Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:

You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.

Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:

Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.

Holier-Than-Thou Wars

Friday, March 12th, 2010

The Democrats have suffered some ethics-embarrassments, and Republicans have been playing holier-than-thou with an RNC Charlie Rangel and Eric Massa ad.

Of course, looking morally superior would be a lot easier if Republicans didn’t have such a culture of corruption.

I’m guessing the RNC figured Democrats were too cowardly to fight back. Fortunately, the RNC was wrong.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Holier-Than-Thou Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP’s trying to smack
The Dems on their ethics. How whack!
With their glass house display—
Ensign, Vitter, DeLay—
They throw stones — an ironic attack.

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Subversive Limerick

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws.

For instance, South Carolina has a little known (until now) law requiring subversive agents to register with the state and pay a five dollar fee.

No, I’m not kidding. If you’d like to overthrow the government, you’re required to register with the government.

Naturally, Tea Party members think this law was passed purposely to target their group. If so, that would make South Carolina pols highly precognitive — the law dates way back to 1951.

But if any subversives do feel the urge to register, they’d better do it soon. Why? Because State Sen. Larry Martin, a Republican, is pushing to repeal it:

“I readily recognize when it had been passed and what the purpose of it was back in the 1950s,” he said. “But I don’t think Osama bin Laden is going to register. It’s outlived its usefulness.”

This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?

Subversive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re subversive and live in SC?
There’s no problem — just pay a small fee.
File a form with a fiver.
It’s cheap, you conniver.
You’d best file if you party with tea.

Gosh-Darn Pols!

Monday, March 1st, 2010

I haven’t lived in California since I graduated from Cal Arts a zillion years ago. And when I read stories like this one about the California Assembly’s silly anti-cursing bill, I’m in no rush to go back. And certainly not to Sacramento:

Gosh-Darn Pols!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

California Assembly’s decree:
The first week of March is “cuss-free.”
So don’t fret about health,
Or pine for lost wealth,
Cuz your pols are protecting you. See?

Update: After writing this, I ran across this interesting post on the same topic by Seth Frederiksen, who’s originally from California. And there’s more information about the bill over here at skippy’s.

A Limerick For Lamar

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

As Steve Benen points out, we’ve already tried incrementalism. Nonetheless, Senator Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) keeps asserting that Congress can’t pass major legislation and should instead do things in bits and pieces.

Of course, Lamar and his fellow Republicans would say and do just about anything to prevent Democrats from passing comprehensive health care reform.

Lamar has earned himself a limerick:

A Limerick For Lamar
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Incremental reforms are the best,
Claims Lamar in support of his quest.
Sweeping change is too hard,
Says this Sen. to retard
All our health reform progress. Quelle peste!

Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

It’s getting hard to keep track of all the Republican “trash and cash” Recovery Act hypocrisy. But Steve Benen has a stimulus hypocrisy update, and I have a limerick:

Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“The stim bill was bad. Voted no,
Cuz it won’t the economy grow.”
That’s the GOP rant
As they privately chant,
“Now give me more stimulus dough.”

Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this line frequently used by Obama and other pols: “America can’t afford to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

Obama usually uses this Voltaire paraphrase as an excuse to disappoint progressives yet again.

The original Voltaire quote is “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” translated from the French, “Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien.” (The literal translation actually should be, “The best is the enemy of the good.”)

This brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a guy named Voltaire,
A Frenchman whose wisdom pols share.
They say, “Perfect, though fine,
Is hardly divine
When it blocks the essential. So there!”

Dear Obama, this line is just guff —
An excuse for not doing enough.
So instead of excuses,
Fight right-wing abuses.
Voltaire is annoying. Hang tough!

Senator Bayh, Buh Bye!

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Senator Evan Bayh (Pretend-Dem-Indiana) has announced that he won’t seek reelection this year. The conserva-Dem’s stated reason? Partisan gridlock is blocking progress.

While this is being viewed as a huge loss for Democrats and a great pick-up op for Republicans, I sure won’t miss Blue Dog Bayh. His so-called moderation and his unrelenting push for compromise with uncompromising Republicans has been a large impediment to passing progressive legislation.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Senator Bayh, Buh Bye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sen. Bayh will not run again. Why?
Cuz there’s “not enough progress.” How wry!
He says partisanship
Is the cause. Here’s a tip:
Our problem is DINOS like Bayh.

Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:

Notes on your hand,
Notes on your hand,
Lookin’ like a fool
With your notes on your hand.

Sorry, I watch way too much American Idol.

But relying on a cheat-sheet on your left hand during a friendly Q & A session is rich, coming from a woman who disparages President Obama’s (fictitious) inability to speak without a teleprompter.

This brings me to my latest limerick:

Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin comes armed when she speaks
With crib notes on “hand” for sneak peeks.
Guess she’d better not wash
Before speeches. Oh gosh,
I sure hope that those scrawls ain’t antiques.

Ode To Barack Hussein Hoover

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Responding to his political crisis, President Obama is doing precisely the wrong thing. As Paul Krugman said,

A spending freeze? That’s the brilliant response of the Obama team to their first serious political setback?

It’s appalling on every level.

Something tells me that Obama’s State of the Union address is going to be jam-packed with pandering double talk.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Barack Hussein Hoover
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Prez Obama, once shaker and mover,
Is reduced to a pand’ring maneuver.
Dealt a setback, his plan
Is a spending freeze? Man!
We’ve elected a latter-day Hoover.

     

********

Congratulations to my good friend Don Davis of Satirical Political for taking top prize in this year’s HumorFeed contest and being named The Best Satire of the Year. Don won for his hilarious A Real War On Christmas: Outrage Grows Over Excessive Bonuses To Santa’s Elves. Congrats, again Don. Well deserved!

(Full disclosure: I was a member of the four judge panel. However, the contest submissions were anonymous, so there was no need to disqualify myself.)

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats

Monday, January 25th, 2010

In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies.

Any minute now (I tell myself) Dems under Obama’s leadership will call a halt to the futile act of making nice with Republicans (and Blue Dogs) and will start pursuing a truly progressive agenda.

But, alas, Democrats seem to have learned exactly the wrong lesson from losing Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat to a Republican.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like you’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.

     

********

Some related posts from Think Progress, Common Dreams, Susie Madrak, and Steve Benen.

Joe “Vote 60″ No Mo’

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I’ve been searching for a positive note in the Massachusetts election debacle and its effect on health care reform and Obama’s agenda. And I’ve finally found the one up side to Democrat Martha Coakley’s upset loss to Republican Scott Brown:

Joe “Vote 60″ No Mo’ (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe Lieberman’s blue — in a pout.
Massachusetts has cost him some clout:
Mr. “Me-Me-My-Mine”
Now just “Vote 59.”
Dems are screwed with his vote or without.

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama?

In a word — yes! After all, the purpose of terrorism is to scare people into overreaction. So when GOP attack dogs like Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, Michael Steele, Bill Kristol, Pete King, Pete Hoekstra, Jim DeMint and countless others characterize a failed terrorist attack as a success and try to terrify the public, they are unwittingly helping al Qaeda.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Michael and Peter and Dick,
Your Obama vendetta is sick.
Cuz behavior like yours —
Turning flops into scores —
Creates fear, which makes terrorists tick.

Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11″ Giuliani Loses His Mind

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

It was silly enough when Bush-defender Dana Perino, while appearing on Sean Hannity’s TV show, claimed there were no domestic terror attacks under George W. Bush. Then there was Mary Matalin’s more subtle lie: Bush “inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation’s history.”

But the third time clearly makes it a Republican talking point. On Good Morning America, Rudy Giuliani spouted this falsehood to George Stephanopoulos: “We had no domestic attacks under Bush. We’ve had one under Obama.”

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11″ Giuliani Loses His Mind
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans looking to ream
Prez Obama have launched an odd meme.
The Bush-Cheney reign
Suffered no terror pain.
It seems Nine-One-One’s only a dream.

Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit.

In fact, the Republicans’ partisan response to this attempted terrorism has been so shameless, even Politico noticed.

Republicans like Pete Hoekstra, James DeMint, Dan Burton, and many others have earned themselves a triple limerick by playing politics with national security:

Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Exploiting a terror attempt
Is surely beneath all contempt.
But that never would stop
Such a GOP op:
“Bash Obama! He failed to preempt.”

There is plenty of blame they should share
For that terrorist scare in the air.
We’ve no TSA head:
DeMint “held” him instead
Of a vote. It’s Republican guerre.

As for funding our air travel screening,
They vote no. Seems they’re pro-terror leaning.
Though their record is poor,
They keep spouting full-bore.
Please Republicans, spare us your preening.

NOTE: Here’s some unrelated, but timely, New Years Resolutions humor: It Is Hereby Resolved.

Dressing Down The President

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree:

This is essentially the collapse of health care reform in the United States Senate. And, honestly, the best thing to do right now is kill the Senate bill and go back to the House and start the reconciliation process, where you only need 51 votes and it would be a much simpler bill.

I blame President Obama for this health reform fiasco. For it’s Obama who empowered Joe Lieberman to blackmail the Senate and hold health reform hostage.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dressing Down The President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, your job is to lead.
You have failed. So has Senator Reid.
Seems you’d sign any swill
Labeled “health reform bill,”
And then brag that we’ve got what we need.

Yes, you’ve tragic’ly blown your great chance.
So spare us the song and the dance.
Though many will swear
You’ve done much for our care,
I am sorry — the prez has no pants.