Archive for the ‘Politics Satire’ Category

“Repeal & Replace,” A 4-Verse Limerick Saga

Friday, March 24th, 2017

Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”

Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.

They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.

But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.

A Happy Retiree? (Limerick)

Friday, March 24th, 2017

John Boehner pretty much predicted today’s events in this article: “Now In Happy Retirement, John Boehner Admits Republicans Will Never Agree on Obamacare Repeal.”

I’m wond’ring if Boehner feels glee
At the TrumpCare affair, cuz no plea
Saved that bill from the brink.
Surely Boehner must think:
“Better Donald and Ryan than me!”

Trump’s Frustration (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

On healthcare, Trump gives up the store.
But the wingnuts say “No!” They want more!
Donald throws up his hands
At their endless demands;
It’s golf-time. This feels like a chore.

Republican Cruelty (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

You think healthcare expenses are rough?
Wait till RyanCare’s passed. It’s so tough
On folks who ain’t rich,
You’ll say, “Life is a bitch!”
Yet some holdouts claim: “NOT mean enough!”

Deal-Making Donald? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

Poor Donald has sacrificed valuable golfing time for his Obamacare-repeal ̶i̶n̶t̶i̶m̶i̶d̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶s̶ negotiation. But Trump’s failed so far, and the vote’s been postponed.

Dear Donald, you say you’re a closer
And a deal-making, ground-breaking dozer.
But your arm-twisting tries
And Obamacare lies
Haven’t worked. Are you naught but a poser?

Yet Another Time Cover Story For Trump (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

Time’s Michael Scherer has a cover story which asks the question: “Can President Trump Handle the Truth?” Before I get to my limerick, here’s his last paragraph:

Before he got off the phone, I tried one more time to get Trump to answer a question about the risk to his reputation caused by false and ever changing utterances. Once again, he would not accept the premise. “Hey, look,” he said. “I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m President and you’re not.” As a factual matter, the last part of this statement is indisputably true. And with that, he graciously said goodbye and went back to running the affairs of the most powerful country in the world.

Trump’s presidency is a mess,
But to Donald, his reign’s a success.
Here’s his proof (and it’s squat):
“I’m the prez, and you’re not.”
(This is Trump being nice to the press.)

Why Trump Lies (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 21st, 2017

Self-aggrandizing lies are the norm
From the Donald; each falsehood-filled storm
Sows confusion and doubt,
Which he can’t do without.
How to shore up support? Disinform!

Pete Sessions’ Bad Session (Limerick)

Monday, March 20th, 2017

Texas Republican Pete Sessions doesn’t seem all that good at handling a crowd of angry constituents. At a rowdy town hall, he responded with this gem:

I know why you’re so frustrated: You don’t know how to listen.

Pete Sessions’ town hall was immersed
In constituent wrath, so he burst:
“You don’t know how to listen!”
(Flop sweat all a-glisten.)
It seems Pete has things slightly reversed.

Endless Winter? (Limerick)

Monday, March 20th, 2017

Though the calendar tells me it’s spring,
My morale won’t allow me to sing
Because winter’s forever;
King Trump holds the lever…
And he’s razing our nation for bling.

Trump’s Accomplishments (Limerick)

Saturday, March 18th, 2017

Are the Brits pissed at Donald? Darn tootin’!
Plus he’s feudin’ with Merkel, pollutin’
All our friendships long-standing—
Our image disbanding…
But at least Donald always has Putin.

Words Matter (Limerick)

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

Donald Trump’s been rebuked once again:

For the second time in two months, two federal judges on Wednesday refused to allow President Trump to impose a travel ban, citing his campaign rhetoric as evidence of an improper desire to prevent Muslims from entering the United States.

Remember when GOP chatter
Taunted Dems with the sentence: “Words matter!”?
Yet it’s rare that they balk
At the Donald’s loose talk…
Which has flattened his bans with a clatter.

Did Trump Leak His Own Return? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

Trump’s been bitching about the publication of an old 1040 — a partial tax return that actually makes him look like a successful businessman and that does him no real harm. Moreover, he’s called it “fake news,” even though its validity was confirmed by Trump’s own office. So here’s my theory via limerick:

Dear Donald, the news makes you burn,
And your wiretap fib’s in an urn.
Ryan’s plan is a bust,
And distraction’s a must,
So I’m betting YOU leaked your return.

Literal Liar-In-Chief? (Limerick)

Monday, March 13th, 2017

Donald’s spokespeople baldly pretend
That the wiretap tweet that he penned
Needs no “Sorry! My bad!”
Seems we’re stark-raving mad;
Misconstruing lies Trump likes to send.

Scott Pruitt Scoffs At Carbon (Limerick)

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

EPA chief Scott Pruitt has stopped pretending to have a semi-open mind about climate science:

Climate scientists widely proclaim
Human action re carbon’s to blame
For our crisis, but Scott
(Although expert he’s not)
Disagrees. EPA chief? For SHAME!

Trump’s Trademark Quid Pro Quo? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

Guess who just got preliminary approval for 38 new trademarks in China — applications green-lighted with unusual speed, according to a Hong Kong intellectual property consultant.

Chinese trademarks that Donald has sought
Were approved. Seems high office has bought
Trump the branding he’s seeking–
Emolument-reeking!
But to cronies, alas, it means mean naught.

Trump’s Wall (Limerick)

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

Yikes! Trump’s proposed budget pays for his pet wall by raiding the TSA, FEMA, and Coast Guard budgets.

Remember Trump’s thunderous call
For a Mexico-financed “great wall?”
Coast Guard funds, FEMA cash,
And the TSA stash–
Trump will slash them to build it. What gall!

Are you feeling more secure yet?

Ben Carson’s No Slave To Accuracy (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017

When HUD Secretary Ben Carson was criticized for conflating slaves and immigrants, he complained that his words had been misconstrued. Unfortunately, however, Carson has a long history of referring to slaves as immigrants. So he’s earned himself this limerick:

Slaves forcibly shipped to our nation
(Per Ben Carson’s REPEATED conflation)
Were immigrants. Wow!
Offensive? And how!
Has his brain suffered O2 privation?

Limerick Ode To Our Liar-In-Chief

Monday, March 6th, 2017

I used to respond with surprise
Upon hearing Trump’s venom-filled lies,
But his yarns are so chronic
(A self-prescribed tonic?)
That banking on fiction is wise.

Trump’s Russian Blues (Limerick)

Sunday, March 5th, 2017

Trump was having a rather good week this past week … until he wasn’t.

So, what ruined Trump’s Congressional address high? No, NOT being wiretapped by Obama. That’s just some shit Trump made up and threw up on Twitter.

No, here’s what REALLY angered Trump: Attorney General Jeff Sessions having to recuse himself from the Russia investigation, because he lied under oath regarding his own Russian contacts. Hence, my limerick:

Trump’s dismayed, overwrought, feeling frayed;
He’d been waiting for Sessions to aid
Him with Russia, and thought
That a fixer’d been bought.
Jeff’s recusal has nixed that charade.

So Much For That Pivot (3-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

At his speech Tuesday night, Trump seemed sane.
His proposals still sucked, but his brain
And behavior looked stable.
(Less time watching cable?)
Fawning pundits were ably inane:

Trump’s “pivot” was praised by the press,
Who perceived “presidential” finesse.
Heavy meds (I assume)
Might explain his brief bloom
Into something much less of a mess.

But his meds have worn off, I conclude,
Based on stark-raving tweets that he spewed
Just today. Yes his feed
On Twitter indeed
Proves our leader’s a bleeping-mad dude.