Archive for January, 2018

How’d He Do? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Donald’s SOTU’s about to be aired.
You can skip it, cuz here’s how he fared:
There was almost no drool,
And he wasn’t too cruel.
“Presidential,” they’ll say. “He prepared.”

Mitch v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

One of today’s many annoying headlines: “McConnell Sees No Need to Protect Mueller From President Trump”

No need to shield Mueller, says Mitch.
No chance he’ll be tossed in a ditch.
Undermine him? You jest!
No one has such a quest!
And if something goes wrong? Life’s a bitch!

Does Trump’s SOTU Matter? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Does it matter what Donald Trump says
When he gives his first SOTU as prez?
Why bother to glean
What his latest words mean?
There’s more substance and truth in a Pez.

Trump v. May (Limerick)

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

The Donald won’t go for a stay
In the nation that’s governed by May,
Cuz she can’t guaranty
He’ll be Trump-protest-free.
How I envy Ms. May’s great UK!

A Prison Awaits Him (Limerick)

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

Trump tried to dump Mueller and failed —
Yet another obstruction unveiled.
How much proof will it take
Till his allies foresake
Him, and Donald is finally jailed?

No Sympathy For Melania! (Limerick)

Friday, January 26th, 2018

I don’t care if Melania’s sad,
And so what if her marriage is bad!
She married for money
And status. That “honey”
Was aware she was wedding a cad.

Shutdown Deal — Schumer Cave? Or Strategery? (Limerick)

Monday, January 22nd, 2018

A promise from Mitch makes me twitch.
Who would bet against glitches or hitch?
Yes a DACA vote pledge
Is worth caca; a hedge
Could turn Schumer from champ to Mitch-bitch.

A Tale of Dueling Headlines

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

“Stormy Daniels Once Claimed She Spanked Donald Trump With a Forbes Magazine”

“Trump’s Net Worth Tanks On New Forbes List Of Richest Americans”

In other words, Trump has been both literally and figuratively spanked by Forbes.

Trump v. Kelly (Limerick)

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

Trump is mad at John Kelly. Here’s why:
Re the Donald’s campaign, he let fly
Quite a wall-vow affront;
It’s surprisingly blunt.
“Uninformed,” though, sounds better than “lie.”

Trump Aced The Test? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 17th, 2018

Donald brags about doing “the best”
On the MoCA exam. You impressed?
This raises to mind
Just one question, I find:
Could a houseplant fare well on that test?

Our Racist-in-Chief (Limerick)

Sunday, January 14th, 2018

My beef: We’ve a Racist-in-Chief.
We’re his fiefdom; bald lies, his motif.
Trump’s supremacist brand
Showers grief on our land.
Need relief! May his reign here be brief!

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Saturday, January 13th, 2018

Dear Donald, your work ethic’s poor;
You’re a lazy-ass bum to your core.
But the harm’s so widespread
When you DO work, instead…
Kindly loaf and go golfing much more.

What’s Next For Steve Bannon? A Modest Proposal

Tuesday, January 9th, 2018

Steve Bannon from Breitbart’s been banned;
By the no-mercy Mercers, unmanned.
What’s next for that slob —
Donald’s ex-fav’rite blob?
Does the KKK’s Duke need a hand?

Trump’s Now and Future Limericks

Tuesday, January 9th, 2018

You probably know that Trump’s chimed in on the “Oprah presidential run” conversation. But did you also know that Trump’s already composed two Oprah limericks — one for this year and one for 2020?

Fortunately for my readers, I managed to get hold of the only copy:

Trump’s 2018 Limerick:

Though Oprah’s unlikely to run,
I’ll beat her and have lots of fun.
I know her real well
And I think that she’s swell,
But she’ll surely be YUUUGELY outdone.

Trump’s 2020 Limerick:

Dopey Oprah is sorry she ran.
Being prez is a job for a man.
And besides, it’s not clear
She was even born here.
She’s a mopey old flash in the pan.

Ode To Donald “Genius” Trump

Sunday, January 7th, 2018

Dear Donald, when people are smart,
And their genius is way off the chart,
They do NOT have to brag
And make ev’ryone gag,
Cuz their brains shine as bright as Descartes.

Trump Versifies (Limerick)

Saturday, January 6th, 2018

How dare the Dems say I’m a bum,
And lazy and crazy and dumb!
I am really, like, smart,
Stable genius with heart.
No collusion! No puppet! They’re scum!

Donald “Little Rocket” Trump (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018

Donald’s “button’s” enormous, he brags,
As his linkage to sanity lags.
And the man whom he taunts
Is a madman who vaunts
His nuke power. Two loons, so hope flags.

Bannon v. Trump (Quatrain)

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018

Bannon skewers Trump,
and Trump torches Bannon.
Both are bound for hell,
whose flames they are fannin’.

Trump’s “Deep State” Blues (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2018

Dear Trump, from the Oval you rue
And berate “the Deep State” with ado.
But you’re outside no more;
You’re an insider whore!
L’état, my dear Donald, c’est vous.