Posts Tagged ‘Texas’

Open Limerick To NRA Shills

Sunday, November 5th, 2017

Dear NRA shills, ev’ry prayer
And each thought that you send’s just hot air.
Let us know when you’ll draw
Up a gun control law.
Until then, stop pretending you care.

Limerick Ode To “Awesome” Rick Perry

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

Although Texas Governor Rick Perry hasn’t announced yet, it’s pretty clear that he’s planning to run for the GOP presidential nomination. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to some more juicy “oops” moments.

Amusing bits like this will probably be the least of it:

Perry seemed pumped up after his enthusiastic, heckle-free reception at the Register’s Soapbox. When the Register’s moderator thanked him as he came off the stage, Perry said: “You’re welcome. I’m awesome!”

Limerick Ode To “Awesome” Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“You’re welcome. I’m awesome!” said Perry.
Oops, was Perry pumped up? I’d say, “Very!”
Seems another prez run
By that man will be fun.
No debate, Rick will help us make merry.

State of Embarrassment (Limerick)

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Note to Sarah Palin and Ted (Tea Party Express, Texas) Cruz, a would-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate: Just because Texas and Kansas both end in “as” doesn’t make them the same state:

Sarah Palin called with a tip that Cruz was the man for the GOP.

Thank goodness the Cruz campaign directed a robocall to my office of the Topeka Capital-Journal.

Getting meaningful political advice from Palin was a treat.

“Hello, Texas!” she blasted into my ear. “I’m Sarah Palin.”

State of Embarrassment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, when trying to aid
Mr. Cruz, all your robocalls played
On phones through the state
Of Kansas ain’t great,
When it’s Texans you aim to persuade.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

When a candidate tries to distance himself from, say, his doctoral thesis, or a book written a dozen years ago, this passes the straight-face test.

But when Rick Perry tries this with Fed Up! (a book published last fall) it’s hard not to laugh out loud.

Perry’s problem, of course, is that his book is packed with extreme positions, too radical even for his own Republican party. So Perry’s campaign would have us believe that Perry’s Social Security is unconstitutional position from last year is no longer operative. The same goes for his call to repeal the 16th amendment and replace income taxes with a national sales tax.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Perry, that book you’d disclaim
Was written by you — you’re to blame.
And it’s new — ink’s not dry.
Yet you’re wondering why
We’re on to your radical game.

Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch.

… Representative Pete Sessions of Texas, may indeed face an uphill fight with his argument that Mr. Obama is not trying to create jobs. In an interview, Mr. Sessions cited rising unemployment in asserting that the administration intended to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices” as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy to consolidate power.

Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Texas Republican Sessions
Likes to conjure up lib’ral transgressions:
Claims Barack to build power
Made stocks and jobs sour.
Pete needs help from the head-shrink professions.

Secession? Did I Say Secession?

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check.

Now I live just two miles from the Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York swine flu outbreak at St. Francis Prep School. And I’m all for sending swine flu meds to needy areas like Texas. I just wish Texas didn’t have such a hypocrite for a governor.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Secession? Did I Say Secession?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My Texas is quite independent,
Said Rick Perry — secession-defendant.
Then he called for the feds
To send anti-flu meds.
With hypocrisy Perry’s resplendent.

Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. But I do have the “on vacation” and “under the weather” excuse.

Texas state representative Betty Brown (R-Terrell, in North Texas) caused a ruckus on Tuesday by saying, during testimony about voter ID legislation, that Asians would have an easier time of getting along if they simply changed their names.

“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”

If anyone deserves a double limerick, it’s Rep. Betty Brown:

Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If your name hails from Asia, it’s hard.
So don’t bitch if your ballot is barred.
Said Rep. Brown, “Change your name,”
Cuz your name is to blame
For confusing us. What a canard!

Please take heed if your name’s Cho or Wu,
And here’s what I think you should do:
Simply pity Rep. Brown.
She’s a prejudiced clown.
La femme est chauvine et sans clue.