Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Be Careful What You Wish For (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

As Republicans surely are learning
(Having finally sated their yearning
For one-party rule)
Running government’s cool…
But much harder than blocking and churning.

The Price Of Defiance (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

The Donald keeps shattering norms;
Routine standards? He rarely conforms.
Though it got him the win,
His defiant thin skin
Breeds snafus, chaos, loss, and tweet storms.

Dear Media: Trump ISN’T A Populist, So Stop Calling Him One! (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

Does anyone else cringe when the media calls Trump a “populist?” I suggest these, instead: “purported populist,” “fake populist,” “alleged populist,” just-pretend populist,” or “faux populist.”

A “faux populist” con hurtled Trump
To the White House, the votes from each chump
Gained by promises made
That he’d come to their aid;
Bigly duped by a fraud on the stump.

The “Ridiculous Standard” Trump Once Loved (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

CNBC Headline: “Trump calls first 100 days a ‘ridiculous standard’ — even though he set it as a standard.”

Remember when Donald embraced
The 1st HUNDRED Days standard? He based
His campaign on a list
Of such goals, mostly missed.
Having failed, he’d declare it erased.

Will Trump Instigate a Government Shut-Down On Purpose? (Limerick)

Monday, April 24th, 2017

As Disrupter-in-Chief, Trump’s an ace,
And he certainly seems right on pace
To delib’rately cause
A government pause;
A shut-down to placate his base.

For he promised his fans he’d make waves,
Shake things up and then topple the knaves
Who keep government going
And tax money flowing,
Enforcing each reg that enslaves.

But he finds himself deep in a pickle.
His accomplishments? Not worth a nickel
So he needs a big drama;
A gov-shut-down trauma —
Even gullible fans can be fickle.

What Bill O’Reilly Did Wrong, According To Trump (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 5th, 2017

The Harasser-in-Chief’s made his call:
Bill was wrong to make payments at all
To the gals he harassed.
Seems Trump is aghast;
His Compadre-in-Lust took the fall.

The Trump Revolt (Limerick)

Monday, February 27th, 2017

Yet another headline that begs for a limerick:
“Donald Trump is creating a field day for the 1%.”

While running, Trump promised to lead
A revolt v. elitists. But heed
Donald’s affluent picks;
Mostly rich, gilt-edged pricks.
His flimflam’s revolting, indeed.

Trump’s Record of Deception (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 21st, 2017

Today’s Washington Post headline cries out for a limerick:

Donald Trump’s streak of falsehoods now stands at 33 days

Donald Trump has been president for all or part of 33 days. He has averaged four falsehoods or misleading statements a day(!) in that time. There hasn’t been a single day of Trump’s presidency in which he has said nothing false or misleading.

As Donald spouts stats that ain’t real,
Here’s one grounded in fact Trump won’t feel
Any impulse to tout:
Daily lies from the lout
Av’rage four — Donald’s Artifice Deal.

Trump’s Tweet-Monitors Won’t Let Him Post This Limerick

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!

You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”

Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.

Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.

AWOL Muse (Limerick)

Friday, January 20th, 2017

If you stop by my page, I’m afraid
You’ll spot flop-sweat; my sage muse has strayed.
From her shocked disappointment
At Donald’s anointment
She brayed, “There’s no point! We’re betrayed!”

Missing Obama Already (Limerick)

Thursday, January 19th, 2017

Anybody else missing Obama already?

Prez Donald’s our national bane;
We must brace to be plunged down the drain.
Though I’d rather not whine,
I just can’t help but pine
For a man in the Oval who’s sane.

Trump’s D-List Inaugural (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 17th, 2017

Poor Donald! Inaug’ral arenas
Can’t lure stars. (Time to laugh like hyenas.)
Entertainer-Trump’s failed.
Even B-Street Band’s bailed!
Here’s my modest proposal: Subpoenas!

Limerick Ode To “Gracelessness In Victory”

Monday, January 16th, 2017

As Dana Milbank points out:

“With charity for none and with malice toward all but his supporters, [Trump] has in the past two months set a new standard for gracelessness in victory.”

It’s apparent that Trump is a sinner
And a lying, conniving tale spinner.
But the oddest of all
His misdeeds, large and small,
Is that Trump’s a ginormous sore winner.

Trump’s Been Limerick-ing Again

Monday, January 16th, 2017

Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!

Marketing A Unicorn (Limerick)

Sunday, January 15th, 2017

There’s an ad with a rather odd twist;
A GOP health ad, whose gist
Is the plan that replaces
Obamacare’s aces…
What a shame such plan DOESN’T exist.

The American Action Network, a conservative advocacy group linked to House GOP leadership, is running an ad claiming that an unidentified Republican “plan will create a health insurance system that has ‘more choices,’ ‘better care,’ and ‘lower costs’ than the ACA.”

You can watch the BS ad here.

Trump Nominees Versus Trump??? (Limerick)

Friday, January 13th, 2017

My latest limerick was inspired by the stark differences between Trump’s signature campaign promises and the positions of his Cabinet picks.

While under the hearing lights’ glare
Donald’s picks make it clear they don’t share
Major policy views
With their prez. Does he snooze
Through their shmoozes … or simply not care?

Arise (Limerick)

Friday, December 30th, 2016

There’s a U.S. reality gap,
Where actual facts are deemed pap
And derided as lies.
It’s time to get wise
And arise from our nightmarish nap.

In the meantime we’re haplessly trapped;
Our nation’s been kidnapped and zapped
By a fellow whose con
Has allowed him to don
The cloak of great power, untapped.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump (2-Verse)

Saturday, December 17th, 2016

Dear Donald: Stop bragging and gloating
And mischaracterizing the voting.
Show some dignity. Preening
And boasting’s demeaning.
And so is your crude self-promoting.

You have pulled off remarkable feats,
So enough with the paranoid bleats.
Think twice before speaking
And enemy-tweaking.
And try NOT to launch wars with your tweets!

Trump’s Oopsie Pick (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 13th, 2016

A Department of Energy? Why?
I forget what it’s called, but goodbye!
That was Rick Perry’s view.
Now the “Oops!” guy’s Trump’s new
Pick to lead it. Are both fellows high?