Newsweek Headline: “Donald Trump Fumes at Rose Garden Work, Yells, ‘Who Did This?'”
There’s a “gash in the limestone,” Trump raged.
(A large wound where his Rose-War was waged.)
“Deep and nasty,” he screamed.
“Culprit’s barred!” (Trump was steamed.)
That aged crackpot ought really be caged.
*********************************
(A Bonus Haiku)
Trump denies he’s dead.
Rumor mong’ring’s put to bed.
Must suspend Vance-dread.
“In Ohio, they’re eating the cats!
They are eating the pets,” yell the rats,
Known as Donald and Vance,
Harming Haitians with rants;
Racist lies told by cads in red hats.When informed it’s not true, they both sneer
And continue repeating their smear,
Cuz they really don’t care
If there’s pet-eating there.
Told to cease and desist, they just jeer.“You’re endangering innocent folk,”
They’re advised, but to Trump that’s a joke;
Donald’s fans gets their highs
From enjoying Trump’s lies.
Give up lying? No, THAT would be “WOKE!”
Headline: “JD Vance’s plan to lower childcare costs: have grandma and grandpa ‘help a little bit more'”
JD Vance has a fabulous plan
To reduce childcare costs. What a man!
It’s not tax breaks or grants:
Just cry “Help!” to the aunts,
Uncles, granddads, and each weary gran.
JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible”
And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!)
But now Vance is debasing
Himself by embracing
The Donald, a move indefensible.JD lives in a house made of glass,
Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class.
So he hurls his baloney
At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”)
Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.
A creative critique of Trump/Vance
Is they’re “weird” which, while true at a glance,
Is the least of their sins.
We must ward off their wins!
If we don’t, freedom won’t stand a chance.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.