Posts Tagged ‘Taxes’

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:

Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.

Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.

Open Limerick To The Mainstream Media

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Dear Members Of The Media:

When a Republican refuses to consider any tax rate hike whatsoever … even for millionaires and billionaires … that’s an extremist position. So it would be nice if you’d stop acting as if the few Republicans claiming sudden independence from Grover Norquist’s tax pledge are moderates, when they’re still refusing to consider any rate hikes.

To put it another way, a slight compromise in one’s extremism is still extremism:

The way the whole “fiscal cliff” thing (itself a contrivance based on the Republican view that expiration of the Bush tax cuts and imposition of defense spending cuts would be an apocalyptic development) is being discussed in the MSM is a depressing vindication of the huge strategic advantages of partisan extremism. If you are crazy enough for a while, then agreeing to be slightly less crazy looks statesmanlike.

Open Limerick To The Mainstream Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is again just a dupe
In the make-believe compromise loop:
A mere marginal move
By extremists can’t prove
That they’re aught but a lunatic group.

Thanksgiving Limerick For DC Pols

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

Serious fiscal negotiations are (or at least should be) going on right now in Washington DC. And whether you think we’re facing a “fiscal cliff,” or more of a “fiscal incline,” here’s a Thanksgiving message to Washington politicians: Please talk turkey and work something out that makes sense for our nation.

Thanksgiving Limerick For DC Pols
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s time for some serious talk.
Please don’t bitch or complain, and don’t balk.
Our issues are great—
Act before it’s too late.
So kindly talk turkey. Don’t squawk.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

Guess who’ll save the middle class and crack down on millionaires: In the upside-down world of political advertising, it’s Mitt Romney.

Yes, that’s the message of Romney’s latest ad, which depicts Obama as a liberal scourge of the middle class who (judging from the pictures) is in love with Nancy Pelosi.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Middle Class Savior” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is on the attack
With the L-word. Yes, “Lib’ral!” is back.
Here’s the shocking j’accuse:
Lib Obama should lose
Cuz, like Nance, he’ll the middle class whack.

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans love to submit:
“Ryan’s plan will reduce your tax hit.”
Though I’d like to deny
It I can’t, and here’s why:
It is true, if you’re wealthy like Mitt.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)

Monday, August 6th, 2012

I’m pleased that Harry Reid’s doubled down on his claim that Mitt Romney may not have paid taxes for ten years. And I agree with Nancy Pelosi: If Reid says he has a good source on this, Reid has a good source on this. Unlike Mitt Romney, Reid isn’t a liar.

Instead of making assertions about what’s in his tax returns, Romney needs to follow custom and release his returns. If Romney’s lying about his tax returns now, it wouldn’t be the first time: He was caught lying about his tax returns back in 2002 regarding the critical issue of residency.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m glad that Reid’s on the attack
And is giving Mitt Romney some flak.
I just wish Harry Reid
In the Senate would lead
With a similar street-fighting knack.

UPDATE: Here’s a second limerick related to this topic:

Harry Reid is not up for election,
So his jab in Mitt Romney’s direction
Is fail-safe of course:
If Reid’s wrong, then his source
Just misled him. Reid’s plan is perfection.

Limerick Ode To Romney’s “Robin Hood In Reverse” Tax Plan

Saturday, January 7th, 2012

If you’re middle class or poor, and think you’ll fare better under Romney, this independent analysis of Mitt Romney’s proposed tax plan from the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center should surely change your mind.

But if you don’t have time to read the story, this limerick should give you the gist:

Limerick Ode To Romney’s “Robin Hood In Reverse” Tax Plan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Want the rich to get richer? Vote Mitt.
Want a deficit increase? Mitt’s it.
Want things to get worse
For the middle class purse?
Then vote Romney — his tax plan is shit.

Limerick Ode To John Boehner

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

John Boehner’s jobs speech was rather hypocritical, as Greg Sargent points out. Sargent highlights two rather inconsistent sentences:

“If we want to create a better environment for job creation, politicians of all stripes can leave the ‘my way or the highway’ philosophy behind.”

And there was also this:

“Tax increases, however, are not a viable option for the Joint Committee.”

Such hypocrisy cries out for a limerick:

Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Boehner’s job speech surprised me a tad.
He said, My way or highway is bad.
Sounded promising till
He continued, No bill
Will raise taxes.
Hypocrisy’s sad.

Political Haiku Quartet

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Styrofoam is back.
“Green the Capitol” is gone.
Job, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs?

*****

Rotund Rush Limbaugh
says Michelle Obama’s fat—
that’s hard to swallow.

*****

Freedom from taxes
demanded by those who crave
what taxes give them.

*****

The mental midget
mentioned an affinity
with Rush — no surprise.

*****

Showing up to vote—
a yearly exercise in
unrequited hope.

*****

(More political haiku here. And more Rush Limbaugh humor here.)

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders

Friday, December 10th, 2010

As you know, most of my limericks mock politicians or the media. But today’s verse is in honor of the great Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) The stand he took today in his Senate filibuster of Obama’s tax deal with the Republicans was wonderful to behold:

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bravo for our hero, dear Bernie.
He’s engaged in a praise-worthy tourney.
He honors the floor—
Shows he’s great to his core.
Wish more Democrats joined in his journey.

(Thanks also to the two Democratic senators who joined him: Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.)

A Pair of Limericks for a Pairless President

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Unlike many of my fellow progressives, I never thought Obama was a liberal. But now I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even a Democrat. In any event, he certainly isn’t a leader.

Needless to say, I’m furious about the Bush tax cut extension deal Obama made with Republicans, and I’m glad that Speaker Pelosi is taking a strong stand against it.

Here’s a pair of limericks about Obama’s abject surrender to the GOP:

A Pair Of Limericks For A Pairless President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, you’re being a heel
By making this terrible deal.
You’re acting the fool
With this “compromise” gruel
Which will damage our land’s commonweal.

Obama’s demeanor is frayed
He seems ornery, angry, dismayed.
Will he finally fight
The Republican right?
No, he’s mad at the Dems he betrayed.

Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies!

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

I practiced law for over a dozen years and negotiated lots of contracts. And, unlike the Bush administration, I always kept my poker face. Why? Because if you want the best possible deal, you must make the other party think that he needs you more than you need him.

So, for example, when you tell banks that they’re too big to fail, you disincentivize them from cooperating, or even telling you the truth. That’s why I’m not surprised that 13 of the “top 23 private recipients of taxpayer-funded bailouts under the $700 billion program” enacted by the Bush administration “owed more than $220 million in unpaid federal taxes” and that they lied about it on their TARP contracts.

Why bother being honest? After all, it’s not as if Bush’s Treasury Department made them back up their statements with actual tax records. Of course not — they were too big to fail.

This brings me to my latest limerick:

Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear bank, we can not let you fail.
You’re too big. Pay no mind if we wail
That you owe us back tax.
Do not worry. Relax!
Cuz that huge bailout check’s in the mail.

Finally, A John McCain Statement I Can Agree With

Monday, October 6th, 2008

At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark.

Asked why Obama has been rising as the Wall Street crisis has dominated attention, McCain said with a chuckle on Fox News Channel: “Because life isn’t fair.”

But on second thought, I’ve decided McCain is right:

Finally, A McCain Statement I  Can Agree With
By Madeleine Begun Kane

McCain’s very wrong about war
And on health care and taxes and more.
But he’s right (though it’s rare)
With his “life isn’t fair,”
Cuz what else could explain Bush v. Gore?