Posts Tagged ‘Missouri’

Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Dear Republicans: If your Platform Committee is going to endorse an “abortion plank that includes no exemptions for rape, incest or even to save the life of the mother,” why bother condemning Todd Akin’s outrageous rape comments?

Were you hoping we wouldn’t notice that your platform is just as misogynous as the guy you’re condemning?

Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP Platform Committee
Re abortion is lacking in pity
For victims of rape
And of incest: They ape
Akin’s attitude: Irony city!

Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 15th, 2012

What century is this? The aggressive anti-contraception GOP stance makes me wonder whether I bought the wrong calendar.

Rick Santorum, a man who’s dangerously close to snatching the Republican presidential nomination away from Mitt Romney, apparently wants to preside over an antediluvian America: Here’s Santorum explaining why he wants to fight “the dangers of contraception:”

It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

And Rick is far from the only bedroom-obsessed Republican. GOP over-reach regarding contraception is approaching epic proportions:

Last week, Freshman Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) filed legislation to allow any employer, religiously affiliated or not, to refuse to cover any essential or preventive health service, not just contraceptives, based on the “religious belief or moral conviction” of the employer. Word from DC is that Blunt and allies will attempt to add the provision as an amendment to other legislation now moving through the Senate….

The fact that American voters are overwhelmingly pro-birth control is apparently irrelevant to Republican politicians.

Perhaps a limerick might help Republican pols get the message:

Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republican pols, please abstain
From ent’ring my bedroom domain.
And also stay out
Of my bathroom. Don’t pout!
If you’re truly “small gov,” you’ll refrain.

Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

Pity the poor political journalist (or political satirist), who must conjure up constant commentary about a race that’s effectively over.

So it’s no wonder that the media’s in a tizzy over the Rick Santorum Sweep … even though it yielded Rick zero delegates.

Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press was beginning to mope.
But Santorum’s three wins offer hope
That the race isn’t done,
Mitt may NOT be the one.
But does Rick stand a chance? Answer: Nope!