Archive for the ‘Money & Finance Humor’ Category

Political Haiku Quartet

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

Styrofoam is back.
“Green the Capitol” is gone.
Job, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs?

*****

Rotund Rush Limbaugh
says Michelle Obama’s fat—
that’s hard to swallow.

*****

Freedom from taxes
demanded by those who crave
what taxes give them.

*****

The mental midget
mentioned an affinity
with Rush — no surprise.

*****

Showing up to vote—
a yearly exercise in
unrequited hope.

*****

(More political haiku here. And more Rush Limbaugh humor here.)

Limerick Ode To John “So Be It” Boehner

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

No doubt you’ve heard about John Boehner’s “so be it” nonchalant reaction to the loss of federal jobs. It seems Boehner’s finished feigning compassion.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Limerick Ode To John “So Be It” Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Boehner’s known for his grief-stricken sobs,
For emoting through loose tear duct knobs.
Yet his eyes remain dry,
He refuses to cry
For Americans losing their jobs.

A Pair of Limericks for a Pairless President

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Unlike many of my fellow progressives, I never thought Obama was a liberal. But now I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even a Democrat. In any event, he certainly isn’t a leader.

Needless to say, I’m furious about the Bush tax cut extension deal Obama made with Republicans, and I’m glad that Speaker Pelosi is taking a strong stand against it.

Here’s a pair of limericks about Obama’s abject surrender to the GOP:

A Pair Of Limericks For A Pairless President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, you’re being a heel
By making this terrible deal.
You’re acting the fool
With this “compromise” gruel
Which will damage our land’s commonweal.

Obama’s demeanor is frayed
He seems ornery, angry, dismayed.
Will he finally fight
The Republican right?
No, he’s mad at the Dems he betrayed.

Tax Cut Tomfoolery

Saturday, September 18th, 2010

Steve Benen reminds us of a forgotten detail: Bush’s tax policy was a failure. And that’s a handy thing to remember in the battle over the soon-to-expire tax cuts.

While we’re busily recalling important facts, here’s another: These tax cuts were set to end automatically by the very Republicans who are now complaining about their expiration.

And now, my latest three-verse limerick:

Tax Cut Tomfoolery
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bush’s tax cuts are due to expire.
Their effects were quite bad — even dire.
The deficit climbed,
The economy slimed.
So why are the Dems under fire?

These cuts were a GOP plan
By the millionaire’s tax-cutting clan.
They promised a boost,
But the tax cuts produced
A big mess. Why should Dems be a fan?

Yet Republicans push and cajole —
More cuts for the rich is their goal.
They make stale, hollow claims
To bolster their aims —
No remorse for the good times they stole.

Selective Memories Bail Out Bush

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

President Obama is hoping Americans won’t have “selective memory” and blame him for problems he inherited from Bush. Unfortunately they do, as this poll illustrates:

Only about a third of Americans (34%) know that the government’s bailout of banks and financial institutions was enacted under the Bush administration. Nearly half (47%) incorrectly say that the Troubled Asset Relief Program – widely known as TARP – was signed into law by President Obama.

And you can bet that the bailout misinformation percentage is a lot higher for the virulently anti-bailout crowd. It sure would be nice if they knew the truth about the bailout:

For the record, the financial industry bailout passed in October 2008. It was requested by a conservative Republican administration (George W. Bush and Dick Cheney). It was enthusiastically endorsed by the House Republican leadership (John Boehner, Eric Cantor, and Roy Blunt), the Senate Republican leadership (Mitch McConnell and Jon Kyl), both members of the Republican presidential ticket (John McCain and Sarah Palin), and assorted, high-profile conservative voices (Mitt Romney and Glenn Beck).

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Selective Memories Bail Out Bush
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Disliking Obama is fine,
But please be correct when you whine.
Don’t like bailouts of banks?
It’s to Bush you owe “thanks.”
Was it signed by Obama? No! Nein!

The GOP’s Honesty Deficit

Sunday, July 18th, 2010

Republicans have a cute little “deficit hawk” scam going: They “block extended aid to the unemployed, while simultaneously pushing for massive tax cuts for the wealthy.”

How do they justify this? According to Republican leaders like Mike Pence and Jon Kyl, the former has to be offset by spending cuts, but the latter, due to some mysterious mix of magic and voodoo, doesn’t.

It’s time for a new limerick:

The GOP’s Honesty Deficit
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the GOP deficit hawks
Are famed for “must pay for it” squawks,
They nix plugging the hole
Caused by tax cuts. How droll!
Yes, that’s how hypocrisy talks.

Not Going Postal Over Saturday Mail

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Are you upset by the cost-savings proposal to cut Saturday mail delivery in 2011? The prospect of mail-free Saturdays doesn’t bother me, as you can tell from this limerick:

Not Going Postal Over Saturday Mail
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are those who are deep in a funk
Cuz our Saturday mail may be sunk.
They think it’s unfair,
But I really don’t care
If I have to wait days to get junk.