Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness

Dear Rudy,

You really need to stop taking cell phone calls from your latest wife while you’re on stage giving a speech. It’s weird, rude and, in a post-9/11 world, it just ain’t cool.

You probably think it makes you look relaxed and confident. And you’re also hoping to burnish your image with the family values crowd, by making people think you’re still on speaking terms with somebody in your family.  (Fess up Rudy: Who was really on the phone during your NRA speech?  Your secretary?  Wife Number — what would the next one be — Four?

In any event, these staged on-stage calls from your “wife” simply have to stop.  Aside from the weird/rude/uncool problem, people are starting to suspect that you’re afraid not to take them.

Sorry Rudy, but looking henpecked is no way to out-macho Hillary.

Let me put it this way: Can you imagine George Dubya taking a call from Laura in the middle of a press conference or during his State of the Union Address?  Of course not! (From Mommy Barb maybe, but that topic’s way above my pay grade.)

Speaking of President Bush, if you’re anywhere near him, I must advise you to duck: The guy has a thing for fondling bald pates. And yes — that’s rude too.

Bye for now, Rudy.  But if you (or your scary wife Judi) have any more etiquette questions, Miss Madness is here for you. 

Sincerely,

Miss Madness

P.S.  I practice divorce law too.

(For more Rudy cell phone rudeness humor, visit Don Davis at Satirical Political.)  [tags]Rudy Giuliani Rudeness, Cell Phone Etiquette, Rudy & Judi, NRA Speech, Rudy V. Hillary, Henpecked Humor, Presidential Campaign, Election Satire,[/tags]

9 Responses to “Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness”

  1. jtalos says:

    The message on his phone was “I saw what you did, and I know who you are”.

  2. Steve Bates says:

    Or, paraphrasing jtalos’s excellent quip, “I saw what you are, and I know who you did.”

    Loved the Miss Madness column… I presume there will be more?

  3. […] Madeleine Begun Kane presents Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness posted at Mad Kane’s Political Madness. […]

  4. PoliShifter says:

    I just couldn’t understand what the hell the point was about.

    All I could guess is that he’s trying to prove to all the right wingers how much he loves his wife and believes in marriage…I’m not sure taking a call in the middle of a speech is the right approach in front of a bunch of gun toting NRA members. They probably think he’s pussy whipped now.

    I can only guess that because of Giuliani’s multiple marriages and cross dressing that he thinks he needs to play up his current marriage.

    Really, the dude is bizarre. $9.11 for a fundraiser?

    Atrios had a funny the other day:

    Deep Thoughts by Atrios

    1. It’ll be so awesome if we elect Rudy Giuliani president, because then we could celebrate 9/11 every day!

    2. If Rudy! is elected president we can mint a special coin worth exactly $9.11.
    It’ll double as tokens to his fundraisers, of course.

    3. If Rudy is elected president, then every year we can sing 9/11 carols around the 9/11 tree.

    4. If Rudy is elected president Independence Day will be moved to 9/11. And there will be fireworks!

    5. If Rudy is elected president we can rename apple pie as “9/11 pie” and apple pie a la mode as “9/11 pie with a side of Iraqi freedom.”

  5. madkane says:

    Thanks Steve. Yes, I’m planning more Madness columns … subject to the constraints of inspiration of course. :)

    PoliShifter, strange is an understatement! I’m very NYC and lived through the Mayor Rudy days. He’s very odd and ill-tempered. Plus he has a serious aversion to the 1st amendment.

  6. […] Madeleine Begun Kane presents Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness posted at Mad Kane’s Political Madness. […]

  7. […] Madeleine Begun Kane presents Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness posted at Mad Kane’s Political Madness. […]

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  9. […] Madeleine Begun Kane presents Etiquette Advice For Rudy Giuliani, Courtesy Of Miss Madness posted at Mad Kane’s Political Madness. […]