Testy Republicans

By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative “purity test,” a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party “undesirables.”

Under this test (Reagan’s Unity Principle for Support of Candidates), if you’re not right-wing enough to pass muster on at least eight of ten position points, you forfeit RNC support.

How ironic and amusing that Ronald Reagan, the “purity test’s” namesake, couldn’t come close to passing it.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Testy Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans want to ensure
That all of its members are pure:
Wrong on 3 of 10 planks?
Then it’s “Sorry, no thanks,”
Cuz you’re lacking in wingnut allure.

So how odd that their “God” would not pass
This purity test — what a gas!
Reagan’s record is clear:
He would fail, were he here.
Yet he’s Prez nonpareil, under grass.

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8 Responses to “Testy Republicans”

  1. Marcy Mitchell says:

    It used to be Saint Ronnie. Now Reagan has replaced Christ as God of the Rightwingnuts. I would not put too much faith in a man who I consider is one of the worst presidents in U.S. history.

  2. madkane says:

    Marcy Mitchell, you’ve reminded me that several years ago I wrote a song parody called St. Reagan’s Song.

  3. Steve Bates says:

    It occurs to me that “Testy Republicans” works as the subject of a double-dactyl:

    Higgledy piggledy,
    Testy Republicans,
    Finding their test, of a load, one brick shy,
    Even St. Reagan is
    Failing the test. (Here’s a hint, Ron: just lie.)

  4. madkane says:

    Haha! Works for me, Steve!

  5. Linkmeister says:

    Am I the only one who’s noticed that Mr. Bopp shares a name with the Hale-Bopp Comet which inspired the Heaven’s Gate loonies?

    “It would be irresponsible not to speculate.”

  6. Mad Kane says:

    Ha! I knew the name Bopp sounded vaguely familiar.

  7. Mad, I took the purity test. Got 13 wrong, out of a possible 10. Go figure. — Horace

  8. The BoBo says:

    Hi – I’ll comment on this post later. I know blog carnival is having issues so I’m just going around and confirming for everyone that I did receive your submission for the upcoming carnival. Thanks for your support!