Put A Sock In It, Donald! (Limerick)

March 24th, 2020

Donald’s briefings for COVID-19
Should be banished from speaker and screen.
They’re a rally replacement
And lie-packed debasement.
Let the experts (sans Donald!!!) convene.

Essentially New York (Limerick)

March 22nd, 2020

Headline: “Cheers! New York liquor stores deemed ‘essential’ and can stay open amid coronavirus crisis”

What’s “essential” right here in New York?
Nearly anything needing a fork.
Drugs and paper goods too,
And to this I say, WHEW:
Refreshments that come with a cork.

Under-Deliverer-In-Chief (Limerick)

March 20th, 2020

Headline: “Over-promising and under-delivering during a crisis is a toxic combination”

Over-promising, under-delivering;
The Donald has citizens quivering
With anger and fear.
His failures are sheer:
Lead to death and more feverish shivering.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

March 19th, 2020

Dear Donald stop being a sleaze;
Cease calling the virus “Chinese.”
Do not spread racist blame!
COVID-19’s its name,
Coined by pros; folks with real expertise.

Trump’s Magic Touch (Limerick)

March 17th, 2020

When the Donald appears on tv,
A deep Dow drop’s a fait accompli.
Into freefall it goes,
Which compounds all our woes…
And with bars closed, there’s nowhere to flee.

Zip It, Donald (Limerick)

March 12th, 2020

Dear Donald, it’s time to stop talking.
How ’bout filling your mouth-hole with caulking?
You keep making things worse,
So it’s time to be terse…
Or resign and go back to your hawking.

Wimpy Trump Ducks Pelosi (Limerick)

March 11th, 2020

Headline: “Trump reportedly won’t meet with Pelosi on a coronavirus bill, or for any reason, because he’s mad at her”

Trump won’t meet with Pelosi; he’s bruised
And aggrieved, wounded, hurt — feels misused.
She impeached him and tore
Up his speech, so he’s sore.
Yes he needs her, but contact? Refused!

Mitt Romney Pens A Limerick

March 9th, 2020

Mitt Romney has penned a limerick, inspired by these two headlines:

“SEN. MITT ROMNEY DISINVITED FROM CPAC 2020 AFTER VOTING TO HEAR WITNESS TESTIMONY IN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL”

“4 members of Congress — including lawmaker who shook Trump’s hand — to self-quarantine after CPAC”

Here’s Romney’s limerick:

Dear CPAC, your disinvitation
Was a blessing. I’m feeling elation;
It seems Covid-19
Was, alas, at your scene,
And I wasn’t, so thanks. Big ovation!

Crisis-Mishandler-In-Chief (Limerick)

March 7th, 2020

Empty bluster, denial, subversion,
Specious happy-talk, falsehood immersion;
Ev’ry Trumpy technique
For a crisis seems weak
When applied to a viral incursion.

AWOL Test Kits? (Limerick)

March 6th, 2020

Headline: “‘BROKEN’ CORONAVIRUS TESTING PROCESS IN U.S. COULD HAVE ENABLED COVID-19 TO SPREAD ‘SILENTLY’ FOR WEEKS, EXPERTS WARN”

U.S. testing for COVID-19
Is so lacking, the number’s obscene.
Tests promised by Feds
Never come. Virus spreads!
But to Trump, things are great! Peachy keen!

Leave It To Trump To Make A Bad Situation Much Worse (Limerick)

March 5th, 2020

Headline: “Trump floats his own coronavirus hunches on ‘Hannity’ The president contradicts public health experts statements on death rate, contagion.”

The Donald’s profusion of lies
Has gone viral, so death could arise
From confusion he sows,
Contradicting the pros.
A worse plan one could never devise.

Applauding Mayor Pete (Limerick)

March 1st, 2020

I’m bracing for the angry comments likely to come my way:

Mayor Pete, thanks for ending your race.
Though it isn’t your time, you’re an ace.
By shrinking your lane,
The “Stop Bernie” train
Might succeed — that’s the challenge we face.

Victim-In-Chief (Limerick)

February 29th, 2020

Headline: “Trump Identifies the Real Coronavirus Victim: His Presidency”

There’s a virus whose spread causes dread.
It began in a land once called “Red.”
Though its victim counts stun,
To Trump there’s just one:
It is Trump — reelection hopes dead.

Pence To the Rescue (Limerick)

February 27th, 2020

Headline: “Mike Pence was criticized for his handling of Indiana’s HIV outbreak. He will lead the U.S. coronavirus response.”

A pandemic? No worries! Mike Pence
Is in charge, which makes wonderful sense.
No doubt he’ll repeat
His HIV feat.
So relax! Let the praying commence.

Trump’s Market Solution (2-Verse Limerick)

February 26th, 2020

Trump slashed funds meant for health expertise
And starved agencies aimed at disease.
But when COVID-19
Dims the stock market sheen,
It’s the fault of the Left, says the sleaze.

A vaccine’s “very close,” Donald lies.
(An assertion that NO expert buys.)
We’re in “great shape,” he swears.
How will Trump stop those bears?
Sell his lies for a stock market rise.

Barr Pens A Limerick

February 13th, 2020

Dear Donald, your tweets make me look
Like your lapdog; my staffers are shook.
So stop! I’m not kidding.
Cuz doing your bidding
Is hard when I look like a schnook.

Trump Unleashed (Limerick)

February 12th, 2020

In TRUMP-world the truth-tellers pay
A huge price for the truths they convey.
Trump demands and extracts
Silence, lies. Reveal facts
That make Donald look bad? You’re Trump-prey!

Trump’s Fixer (Bill Barr) Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

February 11th, 2020

Two-Verse Limerick for Dueling Headlines:

Headline 1: “Trump Denounces Proposed Sentence for Roger Stone”

Headline 2: “Justice Department undercuts own prosecutors on Trump ally Stone’s sentencing”

The dictator’s at it once more,
Ably aided by Barr; ev’ry chore
Donald orders, Barr does
Why’s he do it? Becuz
They’re both scoundrels and vile to their core.

Barr forgets he’s our nation’s AG,
That his oath’s NOT to Donald, you see,
So when Donald Trump tweeted
That Stone’s been mistreated,
Fixer-Barr fulfills Donald’s decree.

Vindictive Trump Falsely Claims Vindication (Limerick)

February 9th, 2020

Headline: “With Vindman’s dismissal, Trump gets especially vindictive”

Donald’s Enemies List? Ever-growing!
His vindictiveness streak is mind-blowing.
Will he fin’ly get HIS?
It’s a “life ain’t fair” biz,
So I fear he won’t reap what he’s sowing.

Scoundrel-In-Chief (Limerick)

February 6th, 2020

Dear Donald, you think you’re an ace?
You’re a scoundrel, a lout, a disgrace.
With your many abettors —
Forgivers, forgetters —
You’re razing our nation apace.