Trump Testy Over Mueller Testimony (Limerick)

May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Objects to Mueller Testifying Before Congress”

Donald Trump is beginning to panic
Over threats to a long reign, tyrannic:
What has roused Donald’s fear?
Mueller’s said he’ll appear
Before Congress. (Cue terror volcanic.)

Our Lawless President (Limerick)

April 24th, 2019

Trump delays and defies and he sues;
His flawed policy’s thwart and refuse.
Tell him “Follow the law,”
And he’ll yell or guffaw.
Don’t believe it? Try reading real news.

Republicans Scan Mueller Report … And Shrug (Limerick)

April 23rd, 2019

Have Republican consciences shrunk
To the point where the GOP’s sunk?
Donald’s Senator/flunkies
Scan Mueller like junkies
Who (strung out on Trump) deem it bunk.

Trump Tweets Out Notre-Dame Fire-Fighting Advice (Limerick)

April 15th, 2019

Apparently, Trump is all-knowing;
“I’m an expert,” he’s constantly crowing.
Be it fires or war,
Don’t ask pros; Trump knows more!
For the Donald’s sole gift is horn-blowing.

Bracing For Barr’s Mueller Report Whitewash (Limerick)

April 15th, 2019

Headline: “Mueller Report Coming on Thursday”

Though the “Mueller Report” soon’s a-coming,
Many Sharpies are busily humming
With redactions galore;
A “blackwash” full-bore!
Thanks to Barr, through a sham we’ll be thumbing.

Open Limerick To William Barr

April 14th, 2019

Dear Bill Barr, you have gone very far,
And your rep once was well above par.
But like most who have deigned
To join Trump, you’ve been stained;
Tainted, marred by a sycophant’s scar.

Mayor Pete v. Pence (Limerick)

April 12th, 2019

There’s a Mike Pence/Pete Buttigieg feud
Cuz the Veep is an anti-gay dude,
Who pretends to be pious
To justify bias…
As he praises a Prez, crude and lewd.

Limerick Ode To Roger Stone’s Woes (Two-Verse)

April 12th, 2019

Headline: “Roger Stone’s woes: He’s broke. Donald Trump doesn’t call. And his wife broke her ankle.”

Poor Roger — he claims that he’s broke.
Are we s’posed to feel bad for that bloke?
He’s been gagged and is under
Indictment; his blunder
Is breaking the law. What a joke!

Roger Stone also whines that he misses
Good pal Donald. (No calls, hugs, or kisses?)
What a horror he paints;
Roger’s full of complaints.
But I find it quite easy to diss his.

Trump’s Fiendish, Foolish, Fullness Ploy (Limerick)

April 9th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Says the U.S. Is ‘Full.’ Much of the Nation Has the Opposite Problem.”

Says the Donald, the U.S. is “full!”
As always, Trump’s trying to pull
A fast one, to stir
Up his base and deter
Immigration — Trump’s typical bull.

Kirstjen Nielsen, Buh-Bye! (Limerick)

April 8th, 2019

Donald’s infamous Child-Caging Queen
Has been fired by Trump. Some might glean
That the caging is why
She’s been dumped, but (oh, my!)
Seems the Sec’s insufficiently mean.

Trump’s “Complete And Total Exoneration” (Limerick)

April 2nd, 2019

New York Magazine Headline: “Trump Aides Fear He Is Overselling His ‘Exoneration’”

Trump lies, as he brags to our nation
That he’s gotten complete vindication
From the Mueller Report,
While some staffers exhort:
Don’t distort please, in worried frustration.

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

April 2nd, 2019

Dear Joe Biden, I liked you as Veep,
But it’s clear that you simply can’t keep
From invading the space
Of gals. It’s off-base,
And the price of such action’s now steep.

Trump Ruins Another Holiday (Limerick)

April 1st, 2019

I have failed, despite numerous tries
To concoct some good holiday lies
For April the First.
But with Donald we’re cursed,
And the President’s lies take the prize.

Meaner Than Mean (Limerick)

March 28th, 2019

The Donald is meaner than mean.
His venom is base and obscene.
He’s perniciously vicious
And cruelly seditious…
Wreaking havoc while venting his spleen.

Trump v. Healthcare (Limerick)

March 28th, 2019

Pre-existing conditions protection
Is, to Donald, an evil infection;
Any “Kenyan’s” creation
Is bad for our nation.
All Obama erected? Ejection!

Release The Damn Report! (Limerick)

March 28th, 2019

I don’t care if it sounds like I’m chiding;
The principle’s clear, overriding:
We’ve a strong need-to-know
All that Mueller can show.
What are Donald and William Barr hiding?

The Press Messes Up Yet Again (Limerick)

March 28th, 2019

Eric Boehlert on Twitter: “the press is now doing postmortems on the Mueller Report, which they haven’t read.”

Dear press, do not do a postmortem
On the Mueller Report. Please abort ’em.
It’s unseen and unread,
So you can’t put to bed
Or assess it. Don’t write or report ’em.

Trump Cronies v. Schiff (Limerick)

March 28th, 2019

Headline: “Schiff smacks back at Republicans calling for him to resign”

Chairman Schiff’s under heavy attack
By many a Trump-ally hack;
From the truth they all travel
To yell: Yield the gavel!
But they’re trumped by his data-filled whack.

The Craziness Never Ends (Quatrain)

March 26th, 2019

Headline: “Trump tweets in official capacity, but blocking users is a personal matter, DOJ argues in court”

Up is down.
Black is white.
A smile’s a frown.
Please, please indict!

William Barr (Trump’s Savior?) (Limerick)

March 25th, 2019

William Barr is as sleazy as Bork.
(His tongue has been pierced by a fork.)
Donald got what he bought.
Let’s just hope that he’s caught
By the courts in the State of New York.