My Roe v. Wade Rant (2-Verse Limerick)

June 24th, 2022

Five SCOTUS extremists decreed
In a dastardly GOP screed
That Roe v. Wade’s dead.
So it’s “Off with her head”
For pro-choicers, no matter the need.

If you value our lost right to choose,
You must vote; forget whining and booze.
Your life’s on the line!
Dump the GOP swine
And make sure all Republicans lose!

Dear Trump: Stop Spamming Me! (2-Verse Limerick)

June 4th, 2022

Dear Trump, I’m confused. Pleased explain
How I got on your list. It’s insane
That you think I would fall
For your bullshit. What gall!
Never try to exploit me again!

I’m most certainly NOT a supporter.
I would much rather be a Trump thwarter.
Save your “donor wall” space
For your idiot base
Who’ll fork over to YOU their last quarter.

Mother’s Day Redefined

May 8th, 2022

Mother’s Day Redefined:

When Supreme Court Justices and other misogynist Republicans celebrate women being FORCED to be mothers.

******

Chief Justice Roberts should focus less on the leak & more on the “I believe in stare decisis” perjurers sitting on his bench.

Pelted With Produce?

May 3rd, 2022

Headline: “Donald Trump worried ‘dangerous’ fruits could be thrown at him by protesters, a new deposition reveals”

Sounds unlikely, unless they’re Italian opera fans.

Elon’s Musky Madness (Limerick)

April 26th, 2022

There’s a new Social Media threat
Making fans of democracy fret:
Under Musk, Trumpy lies
And misinfo will rise;
A calamitous “Net” blow — net-net.

Florida’s CRT Cops Strike Again (Limerick)

April 17th, 2022

Headline: “Florida says it rejected math textbooks for referring to critical race theory”

Frenzied Florida’s CRT-craze
Is now targeting math books. This phase
Features conjured up claims
Of doctrinaire aims;
Textbooks banned in a bigoted blaze.

Supreme Hypocrisy (Limerick)

March 26th, 2022

Dana Milbank’s column about “counterfeit commoners” inspired this two-verse limerick:

With hypocrisy Cotton’s replete,
As he trashes the “legal elite”
At Judge Brown Jackson’s hearing,
His rhetoric searing
With “Fake Commoner” Cotton deceit.

It appears that Tom Cotton forgot
His two Harvard degrees. Oh, what rot!
One’s in gov., one’s in law.
Is “eliteness” a flaw?
Then he has it, which hampers his plot.

Jackasses Attack Jackson (Limerick)

March 24th, 2022

The Republicans’ racist attacks
On Brown Jackson ignored all the facts.
And their dog whistle smears
Even pissed off some peers:
Sasse assessment? “Jackassery” acts.

Limerick Ode To Governor Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis

March 12th, 2022

gay GAY gay gay GAY gay gay GAY,
gay GAY gay gay GAY gay gay GAY.
gay GAY gay gay GAY,
gay GAY gay gay GAY,
gay GAY gay gay GAY gay gay GAY.

This And That

March 8th, 2022

Headeline: “No Big Macs for Putin as McDonald’s Halts Russia Operations”

(Which probably puts the kibosh on Trump’s visit to pal Putin)

*****

Yesterday temps got to 67 in NYC. Tomorrow they’re predicting snow.

I’m not sure what’s more erratic these days, weather or mail.

State Of The Union Madness (Limerick)

March 1st, 2022

I’m bracing myself for the post-SOTU madness:

The “State of the Union’s” tonight,
And I hope Biden’s poised for a fight.
Cuz no matter his words,
He’ll be pill’ried by turds;
Spiteful GOP herds love to smite.

Probing Limerick

January 27th, 2022

Headline: “Plea Deal for Man Involved In Matt Gaetz Probe”

If a man “dates” a minor, then smite ’im,
And kindly don’t call them an “item.”
An underaged girl
Shouldn’t be given a whirl…
And the law should step in and indict ’im.

Book Purge Surge (Limerick)

January 17th, 2022

Headline: “Book bans are back in style”

Banning books is, alas, back in fashion;
GOPers suppress them with passion.
The same folks who maintain
“Cancel-culture’s” a bane…
Purge and “burn,” turning book lovers ashen.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?

Republican Projection Project (Limerick)

January 15th, 2022

Projection’s a GOP ploy
Which tends to besmirch and annoy;
Falsely claiming that Dems
Commit GOP “gems,”
Their lies are deployed to destroy.

Limerick For A Key Anti-Vaxxer

January 10th, 2022

Headline: “Urine cures COVID, Christopher Key, recently arrested Alabama anti-vaxxer, falsely claims”

An anti-vax leader, Chris Key,
Says “I drink my own urine,” with glee.
The “Vaccine-Police” founder,
A loon and a bounder,
Insists that God’s cure-all’s your pee.

Fast Talker Jim Jordan Won’t Talk (Limerick)

January 10th, 2022

Headline: “Jan. 6 panel fires back at Jordan over refusal to cooperate”

Said Jim Jordan, I’ve “nothing to hide.”
But it seems he apparently lied;
He’s declined to comply
With the One/Six probe. Why?
I suspect that he’s fit to be tried.

Insurrection Blues (2-Verse Limerick)

January 2nd, 2022

We commemorate One/Six this week,
A day that’s both somber and bleak.
Though we greet it with sadness,
Trump basks in its madness.
Wreaking havoc’s his goal, so he’ll speak.

Trump is NOT at all through with his coup,
So he’ll keep spouting things that ain’t true.
For that man with no soul
Has an ace in the hole:
Clueless boosters who’ll back what he’ll spew.

Political Haiku Trio 2

January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Political Haiku Trio 1

December 31st, 2021

Is Joe President?
That depends on who you ask.
Democracy weeps.

Right-wing Justices:
“When we like what the State does,
States’ Rights must prevail.”

If the unvaxxed die,
And allies don’t believe it,
Are they really dead?