August 30th, 2016
Whenever you read about Maine Governor Paul LePage’s crazy behavior, never forget this Boston.com headline from early August: “Donald Trump just gave Maine Gov. Paul LePage an open job offer.”
Paul LePage, who presides over Maine,
Seems unstable at best, or insane,
Which is probably why
Trump’s a fan of the guy.
They’re a match even hell can’t contain.
August 24th, 2016
The Donald is mad — seeing red
Over claims that he’s gotten in bed
With supremacist wacks.
Seems his message to blacks
Is “forget each damn thing that he’s said.”
August 16th, 2016
Donald’s message: “I don’t want to pivot.”
Such a statement is certain to rivet
The Republican leaders–
Those desperate pleaders–
Will they somehow survive and out-live it?
August 14th, 2016
The media’s biased, ill-bred,
And in bed with that crook who’s ahead.
If I lose, it’s the press
Who’s at fault for my mess.
How dare they report what I’ve said!
August 13th, 2016
Trump Headline of the Day: “I’ll Only Lose With ‘Cheating,’ Asks Supporters To Watch Polling Places.”
As I explain in my 2-verse limerick, Trump’s urging supporters to intimidate Democratic voters:
In a nutshell, here’s Donald’s j’accuse:
“Only cheating can cause me to lose.
“Stop those people (sub-par) –
“You all know who they are –
“From stealing what’s mine.” What a ruse!
Don’t be fooled by the Trumpian spin.
Calls for action like that are a sin;
He’s encouraging fans
To make bullying plans,
Cuz it’s CHEATING Trump NEEDS for a WIN.
August 12th, 2016
Trump’s speeches are vile and bombastic,
With fantastical falsehoods so drastic,
That he crosses the line,
Which for Trump is just fine.
His defense? “I was being sarcastic.”
August 11th, 2016
The Donald’s behavior is reckless.
It proves without doubt that he’s feckless.
His White House flirtation’s
A threat to all nations,
And I’d wager that Trump is full-deck-less.
August 9th, 2016
Donald Trump in the Oval Office? Imprisonment for threatening a fellow presidential candidate seems more appropriate to me.
Trump’s gun-loving supporters knew exactly what Trump meant, when he said this:
If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is, I don’t know.
Did you hear the vile message Trump sent?
To the gun owners, here’s what he meant:
If Trump’s beaten by Hill,
Then their gun rights are nil–
Something only her death can prevent.
August 9th, 2016
Will Delusional Donald debate?
Well of course, so folks see that he’s “great.”
Though he plays hard to get
With “conditions,” I’ll bet
He can’t wait; he’s so sure of his fate.
August 1st, 2016
There’s no end to the lies and abuses
That “The Donald” so often produces.
Here’s his latest deflection:
He fears the election
Is “rigged.” Trump — “Tycoon of Excuses!”
July 30th, 2016
I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.
July 29th, 2016
Imaginary (but frighteningly plausible) dialogue:
Mom: “How was school today?”
Son: “Some kids said really mean things about me! And you know what I wanted to do? I wanted to hit ’em — especially one real little guy.”
Mom: “I didn’t raise you to run around hitting people.”
Son: “But they were mean to me! Especially the little one!”
Mom: “And don’t make fun of short people!”
Son: “I wanted to hit this one guy so hard, his head would spin, and he wouldn’t know what the hell happened.”
Mom: “Last warning! If you don’t stop reading Donald Trump’s Twitter feed, I’m taking away your iPhone!”
July 28th, 2016
Are you confused by the Trump/Putin relationship? The Donald has helpfully written us this limerick:
Meet Putin? I did not … or did.
No one hacked, just to help with my bid.
But what a great plan!
Hey Putin, my man,
Hack those emails that Hillary hid.
July 25th, 2016
Dear Bernie, I hope you’ll succeed
In persuading supporters to heed
All your “real world” advice.
If you fail, our steep price
Is a probable Trumped-up stampede.
July 19th, 2016
Melania’s speech was revealing;
In her push to make Donald appealing,
She stole lines from Michelle
About values. Oh well,
This confirms that both Trumps value stealing.
July 16th, 2016
Dear Chris, though you put up a fight,
Pence swiped that Veep slot. What a slight!
I am betting you’re mad.
If you weren’t a cad
I’d feel pity, instead of delight.
July 12th, 2016
Bernie’s Clinton endorsement has come.
Sanders’ fans? Some are mad, some just glum.
Will they heed his late cue,
Or continue to boo?
I sure hope they don’t do something dumb.
July 1st, 2016
It’s illegal and terribly brash
To ask foreign officials for cash
For your U.S. prez run.
That’s what Donald has done.
Will he pay any price? Balderdash!
June 28th, 2016
Dear Donald, you once would extol
Your rankings in poll after poll.
You’d brag and you’d gloat
And you’d proudly emote
About numbers you loved, heart and soul.
But now that you’re deep in the hole,
With low poll numbers taking their toll,
You scream and you swear
That they’re fake and unfair–
Once a poll-touter, now a poll troll.
June 26th, 2016
Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.
But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.
So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!
And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!
And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,’” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.
PS: You LOST!!!