Jon Swift Memorial Roundup 2013

December 27th, 2013

It’s always a pleasure and an honor to take part in the Jon Swift Memorial Roundup. It features the best posts of 2013, chosen by the political bloggers themselves.

Those Sensitive Republicans (Limerick)

December 5th, 2013

According to a Politico story, Republicans pols and staffers are being given remedial sensitivity training to avoid further Todd Akin-style gaffes and to contend with the party’s gender gap.

Those Sensitive Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans, fearful of gaffes,
Are coaching both Congress and staffs
How to talk to a dame.
(Non-offense is their aim.)
How ’bout policy change, just for laughs?

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid

November 22nd, 2013

Most Democrats are pleased that Harry Reid finally pulled the trigger on a filibuster rules change. Mitch McConnell? Not so much!

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitch to Harry: You’ll live to regret
The rule change you made. That’s a threat.
How dare you show fight!
Wreaking havoc’s our right.
Will we keep being evil? You bet!

Exchangeable Views (Limerick)

October 24th, 2013

Exchangeable Views (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican stance is still no:
“Obamacare’s bad and must go.”
So explain why they bitch
That something they’d ditch
Does things they don’t want way too slow.

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)

October 19th, 2013

How does John Boehner explain away and excuse his role in the government shutdown?

“I got overrun, that’s what happened.”

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What is Boehner’s excuse? He’s got none,
Meekly claiming he “got overrun.”
He could scarcely be weaker;
His job as the Speaker
Is leading — he’s left it undone.

Doomed Limerick

October 17th, 2013

The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.

Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.

In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)

October 11th, 2013

How sadly symbolic that the historic Senate clock’s no longer ticking, thanks to the government shutdown:

The team of curators that wind the 11-foot tall, nearly 200-year-old clock every week have been furloughed, the Secretary of the Senate confirms to NBC News. It was last wound on Monday, Sept. 30 — and more than a week into the shutdown, its hands are now frozen at 12:14.

The antique clock, known as the “Ohio Clock,” serves as a landmark for both reporters and senators, who regularly gather in the “Ohio Clock corridor.”

In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m alarmed by the old Senate clock,
Cuz they’ve furloughed its horary doc.
Near two centuries old–
The clock’s out in the cold
With no winders — no tick and no tock.

Clean Messaging (Limerick)

October 8th, 2013

In President Obama’s October 8 news conference about the current budget and debt ceiling stalemate with Republicans, Obama said: “We can’t make extortion routine as part of our democracy.”

Clean Messaging (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We can’t make extortion routine,
Said Obama, and that’s why a clean
Bill for spending and debt
Is a requisite get,
Else democracy’s sure to careen.

Limerick Ode To The Government Shutdown

September 30th, 2013

Limerick Ode To The Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown’s arrived–
An avoidable crisis contrived
By the wingnutty House,
Who blackmail and grouse
Over battles they’ve lost and revived.

Open Limerick To “Speaker” Boehner

September 30th, 2013

Open Limerick To “Speaker” Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Boehner, while reading the news,
I’m bewildered — it tends to confuse:
Either somebody stole
Your Speakership role,
Or you gave it to Senator Cruz.

Discredit Where Discredit Is Due (Limerick)

September 28th, 2013

Bad news from the Republican-controlled House:

House Republicans will vote to pass a one-year delay of Obamacare in exchange for funding the government, a plan that drastically increases the chances of a government shutdown this Tuesday.

Discredit Where Discredit Is Due (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown’s been forced
By Republicans, sadly divorced
From our nationwide needs.
It’s clear from their deeds:
They have fiscal disaster endorsed.

“Party First” Politics (3-Verse Limerick)

September 25th, 2013

“Party First” Politics (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When the government runs out of cash
And shuts down, then just who will you bash?
If you’re paying attention,
The party you’ll mention
Is Republican — that’s who you’ll trash.

But misinformation’s widespread
Cuz the public is constantly fed
Big Republican lies
Which attempt to disguise
Who would chop off the government’s head.

Yet the GOP’s mission is clear:
It’s a goal they’ve chased year after year
To stymie Obama,
No matter the trauma
To all that our nation holds dear.

Limerick Ode To Republican Hostage-Takers

September 24th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Republican Hostage-Takers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Fail to meet our demands? Then we’ll shoot.
Any deaths will be YOUR fault, to boot.”
That’s the GOP path
On their road laced with wrath.
Bottom line? Seems they don’t give a hoot.

R U Proud Of Yourself, McCain? (Limerick)

September 19th, 2013

After the New York Times published Putin’s op ed column, Senator McCain decided to one-up him by writing an opinion piece for Pravda (the official paper of the Russian Communist Party.) Unfortunately, he didn’t realize there are two Pravdas. Even more unfortunately, McCain ended up being published in the wrong Pravda.

Pravda.ru, the news outlet that actually published McCain’s piece, is an electronic news website founded in 1999. Even though the website also bears the name Pravda, it is not connected to Pravda newspaper. The website has English and Russian editions and covers everything from politics to fashion and celebrities.

R U Proud Of Yourself, McCain? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s someone on John McCain’s staff
Who made an embarrassing gaffe:
His haste he shall rue—
Pravda-r-u won’t do
For a piece by McCain. What a laugh!

War Weary Limerick

September 5th, 2013

I do not support U.S. military intervention in Syria — seriously!

War Weary Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though I’m constantly knocking and mocking
The Republican habit of blocking
The President’s moves,
I think it behooves
Both parties to thwart his war hawking.

Limerick Ode To The Diversionary Dog

August 27th, 2013

I’m not surprised that President Obama recently acquired a cute new puppy. After all, there’s a long history of the strategic use of dogs by politicians.

Limerick Ode To The Diversionary Dog
By Madeleine Begun Kane

They say dogs are politically handy—
As distractions, attractively dandy.
Barack’s numbers are down,
And he knows that no frown
Can resist POTUS pup operandi.

Repellent Republicans (Limerick)

August 5th, 2013

Repellent Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“DC’s broken right through to the core,”
Yell Republican pols as they pore
Through old laws they’d repeal
(Who needs the New Deal?)
Determined to break it some more.

Limerick Ode To Same Sex Marriage

July 25th, 2013

Will Femia, over at MaddowBlog, has challenged us to a “good old-fashioned marriage equality limericking bee.” Here’s my contribution:

Limerick Ode To Same Sex Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Same sex couples are quick to endorse
The spread of gay marriage, of course.
But the happiest folks
Are THESE women and blokes:
Hungry lawyers who handle divorce.

Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida

July 14th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.

*****

Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.

Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)

July 8th, 2013

The Kansas legislature, in its great wisdom, recently passed a law allowing gun owners to carry weapons in public buildings. And surprise, surprise, insurance companies think this is dangerous.

The EMC Insurance Cos. insures 85 percent to 90 percent of all Kansas school districts and has refused to renew coverage for schools that permit teachers and custodians to carry concealed firearms on their campuses under the new law, which took effect July 1. It’s not a political decision, but a financial one based on the riskier climate it estimates would be created, the insurer said.

Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In municipal spots, like a school,
Concealed weapons in Kansas are cool.
But the pols that decreed this
May soon have to heed this:
They’ve entered a sky-high risk pool.

“You are too great a risk,” said the co
That insured Kansas schools. What a blow!
“We do NOT mean to screw you,
But just can’t renew you.
It’s financial — a matter of dough.”

Forrest Knox, who’s an NRA shill
And the fellow who sponsored the bill
That started this mess,
Says insurers should bless
Teachers toting their weapons at will.

“This will make us all safer,” he swears.
“What do carriers know about scares,
And dangers and risk
And hazards. Tsk-Tsk!
I know better than they!” he declares.

What’s next? It remains to be seen.
At the least, it will take far more green
To insure any school
Where an NRA tool
Hides a gun in her purse or his jean.