Supreme Priorities (Limerick)

April 2nd, 2014

If you thought the Citizens United ruling undermined democracy, brace yourself: The Roberts court has made things even worse with yet another controversial 5-4 decision in McCutcheon v. FEC. Assaulting campaign finance reform once again, the Supreme Court struck down the aggregate limits on how much an individual can contribute to candidates, parties and political action committees.

As Ari Berman astutely observes:

The Court’s conservative majority believes that the First Amendment gives wealthy donors and powerful corporations the carte blanche right to buy an election but that the Fifteenth Amendment does not give Americans the right to vote free of racial discrimination.

Supreme Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Supremes freed the wealthy to buy
Politicians — an endless supply.
Seems “free speech” means “free spending,”
While “voting rights rending”
Isn’t something they care to decry.

Limerick Flashback

March 26th, 2014

Limerick Flashback
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The date to apply by is near.
Health care bennies soon lost, many fear.
So the Prez moves the date,
Which makes no one irate;
It was Bush, and ’06 was the year.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)

March 21st, 2014

While discussing Obamacare and the Healthcare.gov roll-out, Biden said Obama deserves sainthood. Now this strikes me as a trifle excessive. On the other hand, Joe Biden is a humorist’s godsend.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Veep Biden, your lack of restraint
Is often amusing and quaint.
But you’ve gone overboard
(Don’t you think — Oh my lord!)
In calling Obama a saint.

Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)

March 20th, 2014

Obama’s highly qualified Surgeon General nominee, Vivek Murthy, is in limbo. Why? Because Murthy supports an assault weapons ban and believes guns are a health care issue.

Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The move against Murthy ain’t stealth
Cuz gun fans are using their wealth.
Seems his Surgeon Gen. quest
Failed the NRA test:
He thinks guns can be bad for your health.

I Spy Hypocrisy (Limerick)

March 13th, 2014

Some of the USA’s most ardent defenders of our ever-growing surveillance state (Lindsey Graham, Diane Feinstein, John McCain) are suddenly up in arms about domestic spying. Why? Cuz this time it’s PERSONAL!

For instance:

In response to accusations that the Central Intelligence Agency has snooped on Senate computers, Graham went bonkers, telling reporters on Tuesday that “Heads should roll, people should go to jail if it’s true.”

I Spy Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Senators failed to condemn
Our rampant surveillance, or stem
All the government spying,
They’re suddenly crying,
Cuz the CIA’s spying on the THEM!

Barack & Zach (Limerick)

March 12th, 2014

Bill O’Reilly is outraged, once again, at Barack Obama. What is it this time? The president had the audacity to go where the twenty-somethings are, in order to plug the Affordable Care Act and HealthCare.gov; he gamely appeared on Funny Or Die’s “Between Two Ferns,” for an interview with Zach Galifianakis.

Barack & Zach
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s appearance with Zach
Has inspired O’Reilly’s attack:
A strong prez would not go
On a comedy show
To plug HealthCare.gov and just yak.

It seems Bill is a psychic. Oh my!
He’s an all-knowing, soothsaying guy,
Who swears Lincoln would never
Have gone on (not ever!!!)
A show done by Funny Or Die.

Ode To Wingnuttery

March 11th, 2014

Ode To Wingnuttery
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama is a “tyrant,”
wingnuts tell us ev’ry day.
But they also claim his “cowardice”
makes Putin go astray.

Seems Obama’s “too aggressive,
seizing power with his pen,”
when he isn’t just a “weakling.”
You bewildered yet? Amen!

Limerick Ode To Bossy Sheryl Sandberg

March 10th, 2014

Purported feminist Sheryl Sandberg was apparently so traumatized by being called “bossy” as a girl, that she wants that epithet banned. She claims it impedes the will to become a leader.

So publicity hound “feminist” advocate Sandberg, having moved on from her “lean in” tripe, “is launching a public service campaign aimed at getting rid of the word ‘bossy.’” Hey, priorities are priorities.

Here’s Facebook COO Sandberg discussing her project to outlaw what she calls “the other B-word:”

This is a very negative experience for girls, if you look at my childhood, if you look at the childhood of most of the leaders we talked to, they lived through being told they were bossy,” Sandberg said. “And it has such a strongly female, and such a strongly negative connotation, that we thought the best way to raise awareness was to say, “This isn’t a word we should use. Let’s start encouraging girls to lead.”

Now, that’s some fascinating logic: Female leaders were so traumatized by being called “bossy” when they were young, that they were discouraged from leading. And so they became … leaders?!?

Hmmmm… Instead of banning the word “bossy” as applied to girls, perhaps we should make it compulsory.

Limerick Ode To Bossy Sheryl Sandberg
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sheryl Sandberg has made a demand
That the adjective “bossy” be banned.
Here’s the thrust of her screed:
Girls called “bossy” won’t lead.
Ain’t simplistic analysis grand?

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)

February 22nd, 2014

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio’s been catching some flack lately over his traffic-safety initiative. It seems he doesn’t practice what he preaches.

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill de Blasio warns New York folk
To drive carefully. Safety’s no joke.
Yet the rules take a hike
In Bill’s auto. Did Mike
Ever guzzle a giant-sized Coke?

Note from Mad Kane: For those who don’t follow New York City politics, former Mayor Mike Bloomberg (whom de Blasio criticizes at every opportunity) is famous/infamous for banning super-sized sodas.

Scott Walker Walks Into His Own Trap (Limerick)

February 11th, 2014

UPDATE: The blogger who interviewed Governor Walker and whose Walker quote is the premise of this entire post and limerick, has corrected his story to indicate that the quote was a transcription error and that the Governor did not claim to have voted for Reagan when it was illegal to do so.

Rather than simply “disappearing” this post, I’ll leave it up with this correction notice. My apologies to anyone who was misled by my reliance on the earlier version of that interviewer’s story.

*****

Republicans have a long history of bolstering their credentials by citing some Ronald Reagan connection. So it tends to be no big deal when a Republican pol waxes eloquent about having voted for Reagan.

And then there’s Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R), who recently said:

I remember, I was a teenager, had just become a teenager and voted for Ronald Reagan — limited government, you know, smaller government, lower taxes, strong national defense. You knew what you were getting. You knew how a Reagan administration, a Reagan presidency was going to be better for you.

Alas, since Walker was born on November 2, 1967, he “wasn’t old enough to vote in either 1980 or 1984 when Reagan ran for president.” So if Scott Walker was being truthful, then he’s just owned up to committing voter fraud.

Scott Walker Walks Into His Own Trap (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Walker tried to increase his appeal
With a “voted for Ron Reagan” spiel.
Do the math; Scott’s denoting
His under-age voting.
Fin’ly, ONE case of vote fraud that’s real.

Ventura’s Mexican Adventure (Limerick)

February 6th, 2014

Did you know that Jesse Ventura hosts a TV show called “Off The Grid?” Me neither.

This probably explains why Ventura promoted it on CNBC’s “Closing Bell” from an “undisclosed location in Mexico,” with statements like: “I’m off the grid. I move about with my TV show so that the drones can’t find me and you won’t know exactly where I am.”

Ventura’s Mexican Adventure (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Drones Ventura, I’ve gone “off the grid,”
In his USA drone-dodging bid,
Making sure no one knows
Where he is. Won’t disclose!
It’s his latest please-watch-his-show bid.

Bigots Sling The Blues (Limerick)

February 3rd, 2014

By now, you’ve surely heard about the wingnutty brouhaha over Coke’s multilingual “America The Beautiful” Super Bowl ad. This article title says it all: “Coca-Cola’s ‘It’s Beautiful’ Super Bowl Ad Brings Out Some Ugly Americans.”

Bigots Sling The Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Coke’s “Beautiful” polyglot ad
Has gotten the bigots quite mad.
Seems it’s too damn exotic
And unpatriotic.
I’m guessing they’re also non-GLAD.

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)

January 28th, 2014

Bracing For The SOTU (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tonight we’ll be glued to our set,
Even though it’s a very safe bet
That, as always, the SOTU
Will drive us to go to
Strong drink. (We’ve no hash cigarette.)

SOTU Antics (Limerick)

January 27th, 2014

SOTU Antics (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch the SOTU’s bipartisan fight,
As the Prez walks the aisle Tuesday night.
Pols will lunge for his hand
Or a cheek, so they’ll land
On TV in this annual rite.

*****

And speaking of the State of the Union Address, remember the good old days when there was one yearly State of the Union speech and a single response from the opposition party?

Then, suddenly, the Republicans added a second rebuttal (referred to as the Tea Party response.) This was done in accordance with the “Oh my God! There’s a black president!” rule.

Well this year, two Republican responses have been deemed insufficient. (The “Why hasn’t he been impeached yet?” rule.)

So this Tuesday night we’ll be treated to three Republican rebuttals from Cathy McMorris Rodgers, Mike Lee, and Rand Paul, respectively.

What’s the matter? No room for Chris Christie?

Maybe next year, if he hangs on to his gig in New Jersey.

Mike’s Oklahoma “Solution” (Limerick)

January 25th, 2014

As the fight over Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage heads to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver, Colorado, Oklahoma Rep. Mike Turner (R-Edmond) is worried that gay marriage might prevail. And being desperate to combat the scourge of same-sex marriage, Turner has drafted a shell bill to use in case the case doesn’t go his way:

Mike’s Oklahoma “Solution” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mike Turner’s prevailed in his hunt
For an anti-same-sex marriage stunt.
If you’re gay or you’re straight
You can’t wed in his state,
Says his bill; Equal rights — Mike’s out front.

Trumped Up Campaign (Limerick)

January 14th, 2014

Here we go again! It’s too early to pretend to run for U.S. President. So instead, Donald Trump is fake-running for Governor of New York State.

Trumped Up Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This brainchild (I trust) won’t get far:
New York Governor Trump — TV star.
He might run, Donald claims,
But we know his true aim’s
To get press for his show … or be czar.

Jon Swift Memorial Roundup 2013

December 27th, 2013

It’s always a pleasure and an honor to take part in the Jon Swift Memorial Roundup. It features the best posts of 2013, chosen by the political bloggers themselves.

Those Sensitive Republicans (Limerick)

December 5th, 2013

According to a Politico story, Republicans pols and staffers are being given remedial sensitivity training to avoid further Todd Akin-style gaffes and to contend with the party’s gender gap.

Those Sensitive Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans, fearful of gaffes,
Are coaching both Congress and staffs
How to talk to a dame.
(Non-offense is their aim.)
How ’bout policy change, just for laughs?

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid

November 22nd, 2013

Most Democrats are pleased that Harry Reid finally pulled the trigger on a filibuster rules change. Mitch McConnell? Not so much!

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitch to Harry: You’ll live to regret
The rule change you made. That’s a threat.
How dare you show fight!
Wreaking havoc’s our right.
Will we keep being evil? You bet!

Exchangeable Views (Limerick)

October 24th, 2013

Exchangeable Views (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican stance is still no:
“Obamacare’s bad and must go.”
So explain why they bitch
That something they’d ditch
Does things they don’t want way too slow.