Are Cricket Bars Cricket? (Limerick)

Warning: If you’re into energy bars, be sure to read the label before ingesting:

The latest energy bar on the market uses crickets as its protein source.

Living Earth natural food store in Worcester started selling Feed The Revolution bars around Christmas.

The crickets are raised in Utah and ground into a fine powder said to be high in protein…

Are Cricket Bars Cricket? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A bathroom-bound man felt sub-par
After eating an energy bar.
He exclaimed, “Sticky wicket!
I’ve just eaten cricket!
Insect protein is going too far!”

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21 Responses to “Are Cricket Bars Cricket? (Limerick)”

  1. brian miller says:

    ha…i have eaten insects…they are not bad…and do provide protein if you can get past the thought of what you are putting in your mouth…

  2. Edmund Conti says:

    I get my energy by going through all my old poetry magazines (the ones I’ve been published in). So there I am leafing through “Studies in Contemporary Satire” (1995) and there you are making a job complaint. (You lawyers!) You should have tried the Knicks rather than the Nets.

  3. madkane says:

    Brian, I think I’ll take a pass on such creepy-crawly food items.

    Edmund, I vaguely remember being published there a couple of times. But I can’t recall this piece. Was it a humor column or a poem?

    I must have that issue somewhere, but I’m afraid to start foraging through all those piles. :)

  4. Edmund Conti says:

    I guess it was a humor piece unless you were really serious about trying to play for the New Jersey Nets. (How’s your cross-over dribble?)

  5. madkane says:

    Wow! I’d completely forgotten about that piece of satire about height discrimination. It’s so ancient, I’m sure it’s not on any of my surviving computers.

  6. madkane says:

    Wow! My document transfer software worked better than I thought, because I found a draft of this ancient piece on my relatively new computer!

  7. Edmund Conti says:

    I lost most of my pieces when I went from an iMac to a PC a few years back. In the process of reconstructing everything by copying them from…paper!

  8. I guess it’s not cricket. Or, then again, maybe it is.

  9. Poet Laundry says:

    ‘sticky wicket’ ha! Love this one Mad.

  10. Haha – how many times can I say “madam of the limerick” forever and a day I suppose :)

  11. Great fun. And me, from the land of cricket ;-)

  12. Judy Roney says:

    LOL I know the feeling from eating those bars! But cricket..yes, that goes too far. :)

  13. Yes, he is right – it has gone too far. I’m on an old age pension but I am not desperate enough for protein – yet – to eat crickets though our yard abounds with them…….

  14. Kim Nelson says:

    Cracked me up!
    Although, I’ll bet cricket is highly nutritious. Some creatures live almost solely on them as a food source.

  15. WabiSabi says:

    oh no!!!!!Please say it isn’t so! My childhood was awash in a cricket named Jiminy and everyone knows you can’t eat an animal (or insect) you’ve called by name!!

  16. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your lovely comments!

  17. Mary says:

    I’ll be passing on this bar for something less nutritious. LOL.

  18. nene says:

    Crickets and grasshopper legs, hmmm, yum!!! Survivalist proten.

  19. JulesPaige says:

    Oh, I too love Jiminy – Pinocchio’s pal
    Protein’s got forms for every guy an’ gal
    Some’ll say we are soft
    With our noses aloft
    To only buy strictly processed foods for sale

    (OK a bit of a stretch there myself with that last line. But before we all evolved we were eating bugs that weren’t masked in energy bars or chocolate!)

  20. Sara v says:

    No! cricket protein I won’t slurp
    No matter the marketing blurb
    Imagine the shock
    After chomping that block
    Was that a burp or a chirp?

    Can’t get past the thought that they rub their legs together to sing–”When you wish upon a star…” ;-)

    Great limerick, Mad!!

  21. madkane says:

    Thanks Sara and Jules for your fun limerick and kind words. And thanks everyone for your comments!