I’m pleased to have gotten an Honorable Mention in the Washington Post Style Invitational’s 16th annual Limerixicon limerick contest: Here’s my HM-earning limerick:
If you’re tempted to kiss or embrace
A stranger whose beauty and grace
Make her hard to resist,
Don’t do it! Her fist
Just might land in a delicate place.
In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.
Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:
“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”
“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”
“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”
Congratulations to all the Washington Post Style Invitational limerick contest winners! (This is the contest I mentioned previously, where B-rhyme lines were provided.)
No, I didn’t win anything or earn an honorable mention. But I did write a limerick about losing:
A Loser Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A contest was held by the Post,
But alas I’m unable to boast.
I submitted some verse —
Did not win, but won’t curse,
Though it seems that my entries are toast.
(Here’s my post about a previous WP Style Invitational limerick contest, where I managed to score an honorable mention.)
Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”
Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!
As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.
STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.
By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)
And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)
Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.
The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!
The Washington Post runs a yearly limerick writing competition as part of its Style Invitational and has just announced this year’s winners. No, I didn’t win, but I was pleased to receive an Honorable Mention.
If you’d like to read some clever, well-written limericks, I recommend reading the winning limericks.
And now, a limerick about writing limericks:
An Ode To The Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Writing lim’ricks is sometimes confusing
Cuz the rules can be tricky and bruising.
But their sing-songy beat
Can be fun — just don’t cheat.
Write them right and they’re very amusing.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
