Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 4, 2021)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MEMORY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MEMORY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 5, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 4, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my LOON/LUNE/BALLOON/SALOON-rhyme limerick:

A fellow, as mad as a loon,
Would strip naked outside ev’ry noon,
Till a note came. ’Twas snide:
“Were I you, I would hide
All my privates; your prick’s picayune.

And here’s my MEMORY-themed limerick:

Once again, I am drawing a blank.
My recall’s, alas, in the tank.
My brain feels bombarded
By facts, soon discarded.
So Google’s my memory bank.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter

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256 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 4, 2021)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memory: A Perfect Topic For An Old Bag, (like me)

    Wow! “Memory”, just like a dream!
    This topic is making me beam!
    I won’t whine anymore,
    Cuz for this one I’ll score!
    Mad, remind me please, what is the theme?

  2. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m getting my hair done at noon.
    For the mood that I’m in, what a boon!
    At this “shoppe” they serve booze,
    Any kind that you choose.
    I just love “Cut And Color Saloon”.

  3. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mary smells just like “Peppe Le Pew”
    That girl oughta’ live in a zoo.
    She’s one real crazy loon
    From an old “Looney Tune”
    And a stinky blind date, but who knew?

  4. Terry Marter says:

    I tried to enjoy Clair De Lune
    Such a beautiful Debussy tune
    But my neighbour was playin’
    A lesser refrain
    “By The Light Of The Silvery Moon”

    From Mad Kane

    I was wondering how long it would be before Debussy got a mention. Not at all long, as it turns out.

  5. Terry Marter says:

    A foregone conclunesion?



  6. Lisi Nortman says:

    I think Mr. Hot Air is gawking.
    And soon, I am gonna’ start balking.
    That big fat balloon
    Told me, “Baby, let’s spoon”.
    (Or was it the helium talking?)

  7. Lisi Nortman says:

    A French Comedy by La Lisi

    “Is it true what they say de de lune?
    That it’s really a Babouse cartoon?
    Let’s see if it’s so.
    Up high we shall go
    And take a “voyaj a la moon”

  8. Paul Haebig says:

    My darling, let’s fly to the moon!
    We’ll go in a hot air balloon.
    We’ll sail lunar seas,
    and feast on green cheese,
    then bask in the earthlight and spoon.

  9. Terry Marter says:

    My memory’s way under par
    I’ve forgotten where I parked my car
    I went to the doc, –
    Got some pills for my block
    But now I don’t know where they are.

  10. Terry Marter says:

    I’ve just heard the best joke, my friend said it
    So it’s fair that she gets all the credit
    The words I’ve forgotten
    (my memory’s rotten)
    But you’d cry tears of joy if you read it.

  11. Paul Haebig says:

    He wanted to make the girls swoon
    so he thought he’d transcribe “Claire de Lune.”
    What he’d meant as romantic
    just sounded pedantic.
    It’s not a good tune for bassoon!

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    Our Former President

    To govern this land, I’d enjoy it.
    But if I should lie, then oh boy it
    (Just like a balloon,
    When the fun might end soon)
    Would take one small prick to destroy it.

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    In order to make line 5 more obvious, I will spell out one word differently.
    “A French Comedy” by La Lisi (today, 8:18 PM)

    Is it true what they say de de lune?
    That’s it’s really a Babouse cartoon?
    Let us see if it’s so.
    Up high we shall go.
    And take a voy-aj a la moon.

  14. Terry Marter says:

    Had an Alzheimer’s meeting today,
    Or was it last Tuesday, – or May?
    Whatever they said
    Might have entered my head
    But it didn’t remember to stay.

  15. Mike Moulton says:

    High over London one afternoon
    Soared a gigantic hot air balloon,
    Depicting his head,
    Trump awkwardly said,
    “They love me as a cartoon.”

  16. Bob Turvey says:

    “I have here a strange looking thing,
    There’s a bell at the end I can ring,”
    Old Chuck Berry said,
    “But my memory’s dead,
    Is it really my own ding-a-ling?”

  17. Lisi Nortman says:

    Found my car keys, I feel like a star.
    They were right in the sweet pickle jar.
    I’m not out of my mind!
    Now I just have to find
    My cookin-with-gas hot- rod car.

  18. Lisi Nortman says:

    change in line 5

    Found my car keys, I feel like a star.
    They were right in the sweet pickle jar.
    I’m not out of my mind.
    Now I just have to find
    My “cookin-with-gas brand new car.

  19. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Gonna’ see Miss Lascivious soon.
    She blows hard like a full-scale typhoon.
    She gets me so hot.
    Always hits the right spot.
    And I rise like a hot air balloon”

  20. Lisi Nortman says:

    “AAH! Memories”

    The word “sure” is the one I regret.
    In high school, Pete said, “Let’s go pet”.
    The guy stripped me bare,
    Without one single care.
    There are some things I’d rather forget.

  21. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Plane geometry figures that “lune,”
    Shapes up to be Latin for “moon.”
    Both concave and convex?
    Plainly, way too complex!
    (I can’t end this verse any too soon).

  22. Sondra Landin says:

    I wanted to play Claire De Lune
    Though the piano was so out of tune;
    But I gave no big boon
    To my friend’s packed saloon,
    When instead I began just to croon.

  23. Lisi Nortman says:

    The knife told the pan, “You’re a loon”.
    So angry, the pan struck the prune.
    The tongs clawed the fork.
    The whisk punched the spork.
    And the dish ran away with the spoon.

  24. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    As I munched on a fresh Lorna Doone,
    While I listened to famed Clair de Lune,
    So entranced by the sound,
    Floating thoughts grew profound:
    “Gee, I wish I had bought macaroon.”

  25. Rudy Landesman says:

    In New Orleans, “The Times-Picayune”
    Did report that our lives very soon
    Will be back to quite normal
    In their story informal
    That flies like a leaden balloon.

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    Romantic Memory

    I remember that sweet night in June.
    We heard such a beautiful tune.
    We danced and embraced.
    Oh, how my heart raced,
    When to all passers-by he would moon.

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    Everyone Is Using “Clair de Lune”
    “Debussy’s Secret” (the REAL story)

    His first choice was “Bambi de Lune”
    But then something happened real soon:
    Clair gave him her money.
    He called her his “honey”
    And thus, the new name of the tune.

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    Her breasts were just like a balloon.
    So round and so full, thought I’d swoon.
    I caressed them, then stopped.
    Cause something had popped.
    (Wall to wall all the saline was strewn).

  29. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    When my sis I phone up for a chat,
    Reminiscing will lead to a spat.
    “Your old mem’ries are shot,”
    I say. She cries, “They’re not!
    I remember that you were a brat.”

  30. Dave Johnson says:

    Lorena – a name that reflects
    The moment her rage cleared the decks.
    Time’s passage may cure,
    But there’s one thing for sure:
    She’ll never re-member her ex.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    Not A Duplicate “Our Former President”

    If I governed this land, I’d enjoy it.
    But if I should lie, then, oh boy, it.
    (Just like a balloon
    At a wedding in June)
    Would take one small prick to destroy it.

  32. P Diane Schneider says:

    Why don’t we go to the saloon
    And then make out under the moon?
    Where is your mind at?
    How can you say that?
    I’m telling you it’s just too soon!

  33. P Diane Schneider says:

    She sought a job in a saloon
    Her figure, of course, was a boon
    But she came up short
    At this tourist port
    Cause she could not carry a tune

  34. P Diane Schneider says:

    The clown offered a macaroon
    And then handed out a balloon
    But you must take care
    With this clown, beware!
    Yes, turns out he is a goon!

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memories From A Distant Era: “One For My Baby”, Frank Sinatra:
    The Quintessential Saloon Singer

    This man never sang out of tune.
    (The archetype for any saloon)
    And at “quarter to three”
    It was so clear to see
    That Ol’ Blue Eyes was “Master of Croon”.

  36. Tony Holmes says:

    “With the onset of memory loss,
    I have found I’m inclined to get cross.
    I have no idea why –
    May be best not to pry –
    And I cope by not giving a toss.” (UK equivalent to not giving a rat’s ass!)

  37. Tony Holmes says:

    “I remember the war – ‘forty-two.
    It was lunchtime – we had Irish stew.
    I had two cups of tea –
    Corporal Evans had three –
    But for breakfast? I haven’t a clue.”

  38. Terry Marter says:

    There are So many words rhyme with Loon
    We already know Lune and Balloon
    and of course there’s Saloon
    also Moon, Croon and Boon
    Watch this space, – there are more coming soon.

  39. Terry Marter says:

    Put your toes on the arc of the Lune
    By the twenty four rune stones I’ve strewn.
    Raise your head to the sky
    Take a breath and let fly
    With a cry like a Loon at the Moon.

  40. Whenever there comes a full moon,
    it hangs over me like a balloon.
    It’s messages biting,
    “Hey A-hole, keep writing!”
    and each word comes as if from a loon.

  41. Tim James says:

    Cullman, Alabama. August 21, 2021.

    By the light of the silvery moon
    I could hear the shrill scream of a loon.
    How I yearn for the day
    DJT goes away;
    It can’t happen a moment too soon.

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    Teacher had to be often reminded:
    “Take attendance in class; you’re behind. Did
    You remember today?”
    “Doesn’t matter,” she’d say.
    Either way I am a called absent minded.”

  43. Terry Marter says:

    I think Lune and Loon do not rhyme
    I’m so glad I remembered in time
    I’ve learned from this game
    If the words sound the same
    I’m committing a limerick crime.

  44. It was sunny San Jose. – Ahhh, Carmel.
    We has pasta with veg. – In a shell?
    I gave you a balloon,
    I received macaron.
    Oh yes I remember it well.

  45. Terry Marter says:

    She loved singing in many a choir
    And was hired to sing Handel’s Messiah.
    With her schedule so big
    She’d forgotten which gig
    And let rip with James Brown’s ‘Take Me Higher’!

  46. Sondra Landin says:

    Better version
    perhaps, and without typo, of 8/22 1:43 entry

    I wanted to play Clair de Lune,
    But the piano was so out of tune;
    Then I gave no nice boon
    To my friend’s packed saloon
    When instead I began to just croon.

  47. Sondra Landin says:

    I remember that looming first kiss;
    It was destined to bring utter bliss;
    The music was playing,
    Our bodies were swaying,
    And then he had to go take a piss!

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    You can be real exceedingly smart.
    And know all about “state of the art”
    Yet still be a loon,
    Like a stupid cartoon.
    Beware! We can tell them apart.

  49. Dave Johnson says:

    Trump’s MAGA crowd started to swoon
    The moment he struck up his tune.
    A raucous event,
    In his thrall they were sent
    By the sight of the slithering loon.

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Loon?” Let’s see what’s left. Hmmm

    I just thought of an excellent rhyme!
    Not to brag, but I think it’s sublime:
    “Make friends with a loon.
    And surprisingly soon,
    You’ll feel clever and smart all the time”.

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction: singular and plural mix-up line one (maybe?)
    From yesterday at 5:50 PM

    Her breasts, both just like a balloon.
    So round and so full, thought I’d swoon.
    I caressed them, then stopped.
    Cuz something had popped.
    (Wall to wall, all the saline was strewn).

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    Stingy Parents: “My 5 year old birthday party”

    That party was one big mistake.
    All the gifts from my parents were fake.
    Not one damn balloon
    And that afternoon,
    Daddy showed me a picture of cake.

  53. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Said a parakeet once to a loon,
    “It’s a hoot that you wail at the moon.
    But if you were like me,
    Always caged, never free,
    You’d be singing a whole diff’rent tune.”

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    (Slight change in my posting above)

    Trump’s MAGA crowd started to swoon
    The moment they cranked up his tune.
    A raucous event,
    In his thrall they were sent
    By the sight of the slithery loon.

  55. Dave Johnson says:

    My ride in a hot-air balloon
    Was something – I’d go again soon!
    We had to abort
    At a nudist resort;
    Exposed to both sun and the moon.

  56. Terry Marter says:

    There’s an old rhyme that mentions November
    Citing how many days in September
    And that most (when they’re done)
    Have at least thirty one
    Except one that I still can’t remember.

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memory: Senior Moment

    Parked my car in the lot near the brook.
    I admit that the next day I shook.
    I went back to the lot.
    To the very next spot.
    To give back the car that I took.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    Change Of One Word, Line 3

    Memory: Senior Moment

    Parked my car in the lot near the brook.
    I admit that the next day I shook.
    I drove back to the lot.
    To the very next spot.
    To give back the car that I took.

  59. Dave Johnson says:

    My memory’s fading – it’s true;
    Apparently something that’s new.
    I still can recall
    Fifties music and all;
    But car keys? I haven’t a clue!

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memories of Mama’s Cooking

    When mom cooked for the dogs, they would bark.
    But I never made one rude remark.
    Our burnt toast had bones,
    Which gave all of us crohn’s
    And her dry meatloaf glowed in the dark.

  61. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hey Christine
    Same last line as in your limerick. I did write mine before I saw yours.
    Great minds think alike.

    I know that I will go to hell
    For telling what I shouldn’t tell;
    That Maurice Chevalier
    Was probably gay.
    Ah yes, I remember it well.

  62. Rudy Landesman says:

    You dine in a cheap greasy spoon
    And drink in a sleazy saloon,
    It’s not that you’re cheap.
    You’re simply a creep.
    Your taste is in ernest jejune.

  63. Kirk Miller says:

    When new astronauts land on the moon,
    There’s a chance that their egos balloon.
    But their egos should shrink
    When back home. I do think
    They should be down-to-Earth fairly soon.

  64. There was Boone as in Daniel I swoon,
    so romantic then found out a loon.
    His behavior so lame,
    it is such a sad shame.
    But, he kissed and then howled at the moon.

  65. My first date was attractive M. Goon,
    so romantic but better stay tune.
    His behavior fits name,
    it is such a sad shame.
    But he wrecked it by mooning a loon.

  66. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Old Ms. Gloria Steinem has said,
    “Now at my age”…. What was it I read?
    “Rememb’ring’s as good
    as”…. (I’d say if I could).
    Was it something I once had in bed?

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    Dear Rudy, I just cannot lie.
    Some words that you use make me sigh.
    I may be a loon,
    But I do know “jejune”
    Is the month that’s before jeJuly.

  68. Tony Holmes says:

    “I remember the war – ‘forty-two.
    It was lunchtime – we had Irish stew.
    I had two cups of tea –
    Corporal Evans had three –
    But for breakfast today? Not a clue.”

    Sorry. Needed ‘today’ to make sense.

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    Prices Are Rising

    Folks, here is the sad situation
    (A dilemma that faces the nation)
    If you want a balloon,
    Better be a tycoon.
    The price is high due to inflation.

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    I have a fun toy that’s unmatched.
    ‘Twas the last one in stock that I snatched!
    It’s a novel balloon.
    That plays a Bach tune.
    It was free and with no strings attached.

  71. Rudy, Amazing what inspiration you get from musicals. Clever lyrics in “GiGi.” Your limerick excellent!

    So romantic to “lasso the moon”,
    but can also be words of a loon.
    If he’s literal run,
    a loser you’re done.
    Or BOTH end up being lampooned.

  72. Lisi Nortman says:

    For Rudy and Christine: I’m trying to beat you. (LOL)

    Oh, “Gigi”, a wonderful show.
    I saw it a long time ago.
    Both lim’riks: divine!
    But I have to outshine:
    I sat next to Lerner and Loewe


  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Get Outta’ My Space”

    The moon and the Earth were “in tune”.
    Until that real sad night in June.
    The eclipse was the root
    Of a hateful dispute.
    Now the Earth is real mad at the lune.

  74. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Spring and summer from morning till noon,
    An old woodchuck chucks wood roughly hewn.
    In autumn and winter
    He pulls out each splinter —
    By the light of the sliver-y moon.

  75. Terry Marter says:

    Here’s a tip (to avoid a mishap)
    If line-ends Sound the same it’s a trap.
    If line three ends with Lune
    And line four ends with Loon
    It’s a perfect example. – Oh Crap!

  76. Dave Johnson says:

    I seem to be drawing a blank;
    There’s someone I may need to thank.
    That happens these days
    When it no longer pays:
    My overdrawn memory bank.

  77. Terry Marter says:

    When that body was found (last December)
    You said you’d quit drinking, – remember?
    Yet at every full moon
    You still howl like a Loon
    With your fangs in a new neck so tender.

  78. Dave Johnson says:

    Mad -after posting my limerick above, I just now realized how close it is to your own memory-themed one which I hadn’t read before. My apologies!


    From Mad:

    It’s sufficiently different, so don’t worry about it.

  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m Sorry

    Hurt his feelings, and now I am blue.
    Only tried to convey what was true.
    I called him a “loon”
    He replied, “Listen June!
    “How dare you! I already knew”.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    My Obsession With “Jejune”

    Don’t know lots ‘a words, so I try
    To learn one each day to get by.
    I still can’t grasp “jejune”
    So I must be a loon.
    Would it be just before jeJuly?

  81. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memory: I remember everything, even if it was 50 years ago!

    In high school, I sure learned a lot.
    As a student, I really was hot.
    My best subject was science.
    (Not a shred of defiance)
    Oh wait. I forgot. It was not.

  82. Rudy Landesman says:

    Sorry, another typo in line 5 of my “jejune” limerick, which I repair here.

    You dine in a cheap greasy spoon
    And drink in a sleazy saloon,
    It’s not that you’re cheap.
    You’re simply a creep.
    Your taste is in earnest jejune

  83. Rudy Landesman says:

    “The Times-Picayune” has retracted its previous story and published this new one, obviously also false news.

    In New Orleans, “The Times-Picayune”
    Predicted it wouldn’t be soon
    That life would come back
    To its usual track.
    This flew like a leaden balloon

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memories of Sweet Aunt Lulu: 1931-2021

    Aunt Lulu was known as “the bitch”.
    Never gave us a penny, though rich.
    She always was sinning.
    She now must be spinning.
    If she knew what we paid for her ditch.

  85. Rudy Landesman says:

    I loved her, but to my great shame
    I can not remember her name;
    But you know what they say,
    In the light of the day,
    Upside down they do all look he same.

  86. Rudy Landesman says:

    Captain Ahab, as you will recall,
    Was held by a white whale in thrall.
    But he used an old trick
    To find Moby Dick.
    He prayed at the old whaling wall.

  87. Rudy Landesman says:

    Oh Lisi, oh Lisi. please beat me.
    I love it when lim’ricks defeat me.
    And every blue moon,
    In your Chevy Saloon,
    Please drive me insane and mistreat me.

  88. Lisi and Ruby: Newbie to limericks, and blown away by your talent.

    New diet, have nothing past noon,
    oh so crabby and yell like a loon.
    I am going to bail,
    still look like a whale.
    The clue? I’ve been stuck with harpoon.

  89. Tim James says:

    A daring young airman named Boone
    Uses hydrogen gas to balloon.
    Before rising too far,
    He lights up a cigar.
    He’ll be back on the ground really soon.

  90. Had a mishap last week with my hair,
    an appointment with woman named Claire.
    So confused was saloon,
    the cut made me swoon.
    A happy dyslexia err.

    I mean no disrespect to anyone with dyslexia. I’ve know people who have struggled with this condition.

  91. Lisi Nortman says:

    My Brilliant Mind: I actually remember things from BEFORE I was born.

    As a fetus, the fit was too tight.
    So cramped in, and that just wasn’t right.
    So when mommy was sleeping,
    I ended my weeping,
    And quietly sneaked out each night.

  92. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hey Christine and Lisi, it’s showtime again!

    No question, this year has been drastic,
    And you’re thinking of going monastic;
    But try to remember,
    Perhaps in September,
    That life can be truly fantastic.

  93. Lisi Nortman says:

    Heavenly Love

    A beautiful night; it was June.
    The wedding took place on the moon.
    He had fallen in love
    With a star from above.
    Then to Earth, on their sweet honeylune.

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    Starry Eyed

    A beautiful day; it was June.
    At the catering hall, known as “Lune”,
    2 stars from above
    Fell madly in love.
    Then honeymooned down in Cancun.

  95. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rudy! I’m shocked!

    Oh Rudy! You must be a loon
    Who wants to do more than just spoon.
    Don’t you know I’m a prude?
    How dare you be rude!
    (On second thought, see ‘ya real soon).

  96. Rudy Landesman says:

    The typo queen strikes again. (line 5 repaired)

    I loved her, but to my great shame
    I can not remember her name;
    But you know what they say,
    In the light of the day,
    Upside down they do all look the same.

  97. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    (Looney correction for 8-24 faux pas)

    Though his livelihood I would impugn,
    My pet woodchuck remains quite immune.
    He goes lumbering off
    For some weed and a quaff
    At the old Sliver Dollar Saloon.

    (Groundhogs 2 Sjaan 0)

  98. Rudy Landesman says:

    Oh Lisi, it must be our fate
    That someday we’ll meet for a date.
    But please not too soon.
    I’d wail like a loon
    My song that you’ll find not too great.

  99. Lisi Nortman says:

    (Rudy, I’ll lend you my Ben-Gay)

    “The Worst Memory Of My Life” I was right there!

    This memory always “pervades”.
    My heart and my soul, it invades.
    Uncle Bill had harsh pains,
    Running all through his veins,
    While playing a game of Charades.

  100. Lisi Nortman says:

    Thank you, Christine

    Another Terrible Memory

    The agony just will not end.
    My cruel mother, I’ll never defend.
    To me she would say,
    (In a very strange way)
    “I love you, but just as a friend”.

  101. Rudy Landesman says:

    Ben? Gay?

    Uncle Ben, if my memory serves.
    Cooks rice and he’ll get on my nerves.
    And oh. By the way.
    Didn’t know he was gay.
    Oh Lisi, you do throw some curves.

  102. Lisi Nortman says:

    Limerick Correction from yesterday: 10:40 PM
    L4 was incorrect. ” Memories Of Aunt Lulu”

    Aunt Lulu was known as “The Bitch”.
    Never gave us a penny, though rich.
    She always was sinning.
    And sure would be spinning,
    If she knew what we paid for her ditch.

  103. Sondra Landin says:

    In April, in May and in June,
    I’d frequent that trendy saloon;
    I’d sit at the bar,
    Guitar never far,
    And croon that old tune Silv’ry Moon.

  104. Rudy: “The Fantasticks” fantastic, and such beautiful song.

    Such nostalgia as host with the most,
    was definite “town of the toast.”
    Ahh turn it aroun’,
    the “toast of the town.”
    I NEED to have brain diagnosed!

  105. Dave Johnson says:

    She met her new boyfriend in June;
    Not wanting to pop his balloon,
    Her message was just
    “When we cuddle it must
    Not lead to a fork from a spoon.”

  106. Sondra Landin says:

    Ah Paree, I remember it well!
    ‘Bout that Christmas tape – tensions did swell;
    “One more take, s’il vous plait
    Monsieur Chevalier –
    Yes it’s perfect! Merci! Bon Noel!”

    (True story. His entourage would have killed me if that last take hadn’t been good.)

  107. There are times when a surgical boon,
    is stent in the form of balloon.
    This operation success,
    but a lawsuit, oh yes.
    New brain’s from a hairy racoon.

  108. Whoops1

    There are times when a surgical boon,
    is stent in the form of balloon.
    Operation success,
    but a lawsuit, oh yes.
    New brain’s from a hairy racoon.

  109. Terry Marter says:

    We lay nude by our fire (last December)
    Some sparks burned my fiancé’s member.
    While I still recall
    The the romance of it all,
    He only remembers the ember.

  110. A pizza for breakfast it’s cold,
    then crease it for lunch in a fold.
    A snack afternoon,
    give crust to a loon.
    In jammies for dinner, I’m sold.

  111. Lisi Nortman says:

    “See Your Memories” “See Your Memories” “See Your Memories”

    Some memories make me depressed.
    So I have just one simple request.
    Since I used to be happy,
    But now I feel crappy,
    Dear Facebook, please give it a rest.

  112. Sondra Landin says:

    I’m still stuck at that recording session – 8/25 6:08pm
    A slight addition – Line 4

    Ah Paree, I remember it well!
    ‘Bout that Christmas tape – tensions did swell!
    “One more take, s’il vous plait,
    Dear Monsieur Chevalier—
    Yes that’s perfect! Merci! Bon Noel!”

  113. Sondra Landin says:

    If you eat all that food you’ll balloon,
    So dump twelve pints of ice cream – lick spoon!
    Bring on the good veggie
    And if you feel edgy,
    You may nibble on one macaroon!

  114. My astronaut husband Calhoun,
    was solid, but sometimes a loon.
    To rid stress on some nights,
    from effects of the flights.
    I’d chuckle, “Oh, honey just moon.”

  115. Terry Marter says:

    I heard Sounds like demented delirium,
    Some folk Said “It’s a Loon” but I query ‘em
    Cuz I’d just seen some goon
    With a floppy balloon
    And I’m sure he’d just ‘snorted’ the Helium.

  116. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    In my town our archaic saloon,
    Holds a “game night” on ev’ry full moon.
    We make pool cues from bones,
    And play Scrabble with stones.
    You should see it — complete rack and rune.

  117. Rudy Landesman says:

    I want to declare and be clear.
    Whenever that “lune” tune I hear
    (Re: the light of the moon),
    I think of a loon
    Whose tremolo pleases my ear.

    Loons have four calls: The wail, the hoot, the yodel, the tremolo.

  118. Lisi Nortman says:

    Aah Memories!

    I remember when sex was taboo,
    Till the day that we all said, “I do”.
    No such thing as a mall.
    And making a call,
    When the folks didn’t know it was you.

  119. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    “Still, our sex life is only a blur,”
    I said, hoping he would concur.
    “This dim candelabra,
    An LP by Barbra —
    I should remember the way we were?”

  120. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Romantic Memory: We Were In Love

    I’ve been sittin’ here smokin’ and drinkin’.
    And doin’ some serious thinkin’
    It’s time I came clean,
    When I was sixteen,
    I went to the prom with Abe Lincoln.

  121. Tim James says:

    Forgetting stuff isn’t a game;
    It can lead to great sorrow and shame.
    Here’s a story of woe
    From a fellow I know:
    In the sack he called out the wrong name.

  122. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memory: Glorious Childhood

    I’m archaic, but still very bright.
    And I still feel that life’s a delight.
    I shall always recall
    That day in the fall,
    When the rainbow was true black and white.

  123. Tony Holmes says:

    “Just imagine that you are a loon.
    Do you think you would yodel or croon?”
    “Must it be either or?”
    “No. Your options are four.”
    “You do know I can’t carry a tune?”

  124. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    On my birthday, appeared a balloon,
    With a smile like a painted cartoon.
    I popped it with dread,
    Cuz the card with it read,
    “One more birthday–enjoy! See you soon!”

  125. Remember, let’s keep us astute,
    protecting our brains absolute.
    Just write and create,
    don’t ever abate.
    Or I’m kicking you square in the glute!

  126. Jean McEwen says:

    To make all my memories eternal,
    I write every day in a journal.
    Disclaimer (forsooth):
    It’s true – some of the “truth”
    In there’s only got part of a kernel.)

  127. Jean McEwen says:

    It’s tempting, I know, to lampoon
    She who hoots and then wails as a loon.
    But rest be assured:
    Minnesota’s state bird
    Is quite sane; indeed, YOU’RE the buffoon!

  128. Lisi Nortman says:

    Full Moon Tonight

    I love all the beautiful belles.
    We meet at so many motels.
    Don’t think I’m a loon,
    But since I’m the moon.
    Not tonight; I be casting some spells.

  129. Lisi Nortman says:

    The sun and the moon had a fight.
    Sun said, “Our affair’s not quite right”
    “I’m sorry” said moon
    “I’m not really a loon,
    Just forbidden to date you at night”.

  130. Calhoun, astronaut husband, returns:

    My astronaut husband, Calhoun,
    so solid and never a loon.
    Was stressed on some nights,
    to recover from flights.
    Saw National Chevy’s Lampoon.

  131. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    My new friend, looking up at the moon,
    Cried, “A tremolo! Must be a loon!”
    My response, automatic,
    “Those sounds from the attic?
    That’s my wife. You’ll be meeting her soon.”

  132. Lisi Nortman says:

    Charles Schulz And His Mysterious “Snoopy”

    Some people said, “Snoopy’s a goon,
    And just a dumb comic buffoon”.
    So he shaped his own world.
    And never unfurled
    His musings inside the “balloon”.

  133. Lisi Nortman says:


    Some people say, “Snoopy’s a goon,
    In a very pathetic cartoon”.
    So he shaped his own world,
    And never unfurled
    His musings inside the “balloon”.

  134. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memories Can Be Hurtful

    My memories, all full of woe,
    Need forgetting, I’ve got to let go!
    So I thought about this:
    I’ll just reminisce
    With people I just do not know.

  135. Lisi Nortman says:

    Better With A Minor Change

    Memories Can Be Hurtful

    My memories, so full of woe,
    Need forgetting, I’ve got to let go!
    So I thought about this:
    I’ll just reminisce
    With people I simply don’t know.

  136. Terry Marter says:

    A drunken contortionist (Hans)
    Showing off to a crowd of his fans
    In a sleazy saloon
    Tried a third-degree Moon
    But could not find his arse with both hands.

  137. Lisi Nortman says:

    Martha Stewart, while at the saloon,
    Was singing a very sad tune.
    But became real enthralled,
    When she thought she recalled:
    “Can you really make wine from a prune?”


  138. Lisi Nortman says:

    On the other hand: Senior Citizen Trip

    We “seniors” while at the saloon,
    Were singing a real happy tune.
    But we all ran away
    When we heard someone say,
    “All the wine here is made from a prune”.

  139. Astronaut husband trilogy sadly ends:

    Cheating ex-husband Calhoun,
    have established a definite loon.
    he’s under no stress,
    so sorry digress.
    He left with vivacious baboon.

  140. Lisi Nortman says:

    Senior Citizen Trip Number Two

    The “seniors” at “Clogged Up Saloon”
    Were singing a real happy tune.
    They were feeling divine,
    Cuz all of the wine
    Is made with a specialized prune.

  141. Lisi Nortman says:

    I just had to put quotation marks here: Senior Citizen Trip,
    “Number Two”

    The seniors in “Clogged Up Saloon”
    Were singin’ a real happy tune.
    They felt so divine,
    Cuz all of their wine,
    Is made from a specialized prune.

  142. Rudy Landesman says:

    An old liquor law, (looney tune),
    Said a tavern can’t be a saloon;
    But everyone saw,
    Circumventing that law,
    That brasserie, “O’Neals’ Balloon”.

    One day that “B” disappeared, and we had “O’NEALS’ ALLOON”.

  143. Terry Marter says:

    Voice-mail (femail)

    Hi, this is your sweet-talkin’ whore.
    It’s about your appointment at four.
    It’s the twentieth day
    You’ve forgotten your lay
    (Yakkity Yak), don’t come back, that’s the score!

  144. Tony Holmes says:

    At the bar of the Last Chance saloon
    Stood the bushwhacker, Dry-Gulch Muldoon.
    “Barkeep, whiskey!” “We’re dry –
    Otherwise, I’d comply.
    New supply doesn’t get here till noon.”

    Dry-Gulch eyed him as if to decide
    Should he shoot him or let this one slide.
    From behind came a shout.
    “Mister Dry-Gulch – look out!”
    But the warning came late, and he died.

    Hardened tosspots, the moral I think
    Is quite clear. ‘Twas the evil of drink
    Took the life of Muldoon
    In the Last Chance saloon –
    With the help of Buck Bulstrode, the fink.

  145. Tony Holmes says:

    An excessively amorous loon,
    In addition to learning to croon,
    Made his feathers fluoresce –
    This was sure to impress –
    In the light of the silvery moon.

  146. Tony Holmes says:

    “By means of a simple mnemonic –
    I’m forgetful. No, really! It’s chronic –
    I remember my name –
    I’m too old to feel shame –
    By biting the ‘c’ off of tonic.”

  147. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    When a baby boy babbles, “Babloon,”
    And his mother corrects with, “BALLOON,”
    What does grandmother say?
    “It’s his Word of the Day,
    Therefore, one we ought not to oppugn.”

  148. Tony Holmes says:

    By the light of a silvery loon,
    Whose fluorescence, one dark of the moon,
    Gave enough light to see,
    When I needed to pee.
    His appearance was most opportune.

    Continuing the fiction of the limerick above.

  149. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The Donald” (to all lim’rikers):

    Okay, so this man is a loon,
    Who sang a real out-of-pitch tune.
    Yet now we feel hollow,
    And can no longer wallow
    In the pool of our fav’rite “lampoon”

  150. Lisi Nortman says:

    My love, please accompany me
    To Long Island, and then you will see:
    A charming saloon.
    (We’ll stare at the moon)
    While sipping some rip-roaring tea.

  151. Dave Johnson says:

    “I think we remember your name;
    But somehow, you don’t look the same.
    Is it Terri, Jeri or possibly Mary?
    Amanda? We’re so glad you came.”

  152. Lisi Nortman says:

    Let’s have a great time; I insist.
    You’re a lady I just can’t resist.
    There’s a real nice saloon
    Right near the lagoon.
    And I need a punch line with a twist.

  153. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Little More Insistent

    Let’s “paint the town red”; I insist.
    You’re a lady I just can’t resist.
    There’s a real nice saloon
    Right near the lagoon.
    And I need a punch line with a twist.

  154. Dave Johnson says:

    (Obviously, my posting above needs to be corrected)

    “I think we remember your name;
    But somehow, you don’t look the same.
    Is it Terri, Jeri
    Or possibly Mary?
    Amanda? We’re so glad you came.”

    (This theme is starting to take hold…)

  155. A slipper of glass was the tool,
    it shattered with blood in a pool.
    Large pumpkin was strewn,
    the prince hit saloon.
    While step-mom arrested, she’s fool.

  156. Sondra Landin says:

    While yachting I learned the word lune,
    Its meaning of course is just moon;
    But what shall I say
    When Captain will play –
    “He lunes ev’ry day right at noon?”

  157. Terry Marter says:

    I’ve created (just using my brain)
    A hilariously crazy refrain
    It’s so funny I’m crying.
    Trust Me, – I’m not lying,
    now what was that first line again?

  158. Rudy Landesman says:

    Those Russians did once change their tune.
    Their flag with that hammer and lune..
    Oh, oh. I meant sickle.
    I’m now in a pickle.
    I’ll return to this lim’rick real soon.

  159. Rudy Landesman says:

    That flag with a hammer and sickle
    Once made our skin crawl, even prickle;
    But that sickle did soon,
    (It was shaped like a lune),
    Become worth just a plugged wooden nickel.

  160. Tony Holmes says:

    I should so like to write about lune,
    But I am not equipped, old buffoon.
    No geometrician,
    I’d fail in my mission,
    And people would mock and lampoon.

  161. Tony Holmes says:

    As I woo in the soft clair de lune,
    I am casting around for a tune.
    To entice and inflame
    Is my infamous aim
    And if moonlight won’t do it, I’ll croon.

  162. Tony Holmes says:

    They’ve decided I’m far too erratic.
    I protested, but they were emphatic.
    To each phase of la lune,
    I adjust and attune,
    And for this I’m consigned to the attic.

  163. Terry Marter says:

    A Lune’s like a moon (to one’s eye)
    But it’s true shape involves radii.
    Tech description’s not pleasant
    Best to just stick with ‘Crescent’
    But this Lim’rick still won’t qualify.

    Guess I’ll have to re-write so that Lune
    Is now last in the line, likewise Moon.
    It’s not Pi that we find
    In our Romantic mind
    But thoughts more related to June

    We also, I think, can’t deny
    That that the moon looks a bit like a pie
    And the actual Lune
    Is the part that’s “unchew’n”
    An example of Pi in the sky.

  164. Tony Holmes says:

    “I am strolling au clair de la lune
    With the girl whom I hope one day soon
    Will give in and give out –
    You know what I’m about.
    I’ve had all I can take of, ‘Just spoon!’”

  165. Tony Holmes says:

    Geometrically speaking a crescent:
    Astronomically, it’s luminescent.
    But to Frenchmen, La Lune
    Is their word for our moon;
    Le soleil for the sun incandescent.

  166. Bob Turvey says:

    I drive what Brits call a saloon
    So fast it makes young ladies swoon.
    [Now, saloon can mean beer –
    So let’s make it quite clear –
    If you drink and then drive you’re a loon.]

  167. Steve Benko says:

    “Though I’m sorry to burst your balloon,
    Alive you won’t leave this saloon,”
    Said Clint Eastwood. “No crooks
    Can compete with my looks,
    So in movies, to death I’m immune.”

  168. Bob Turvey says:

    There was a young lady called May
    Whose memory went absent one day.
    It was due to drink
    But not how you’d think;
    She was hit by a large brewer’s dray.

  169. Terry Marter says:

    Lunar language seems slightly insane
    I perceive it as somewhat arcane.
    “Gibbous Waxing of Moon”
    (or) “Last Crescent of Lune”.
    Is the man in it really called Wane?

  170. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    If my mem’ry gets strained, I don’t sweat it;
    Should it lapse on a workout, I let it.
    When it heads for the shower,
    And asks, “Why the glower?”
    “Oh, it’s nothing,” I say, “just forget it.”

  171. Lisi Nortman says:

    This venture was really a kicker.
    Don’t think I have ever been sicker.
    That hot air balloon
    Sure wasn’t a boon.
    But more like a death grip on wicker.

  172. Lisi Nortman says:

    A hot air balloon has no room,
    And gives you a feeling of doom.
    This scary balloon
    Is like a cocoon.
    And you’ll feel like you’re back in the womb.

  173. As youngster a cherished cartoon,
    was Bugs as in Bunny lampoon.
    So smart and adept,
    I laughed and then wept.
    The perception expression was loon.

  174. Lisi Nortman says:

    Can’t Remember Where I Put My Book!

    Just what is this gobbledygook
    That helps you recall where the book
    That you just lost today
    “Didn’t just fly away”
    And of course! “It’s the last place you look!”

  175. Two musical tunes, I’m obsessed,
    The best? It is hard and I’m pressed.
    The Ballad of High Noon,
    will duel Claire de Lune.
    Both make me sadly, depressed!

  176. Always Leave Him a Note!

    A young wife who was prone to misspell,
    wrote a note for her hubby, pell-mell:
    “I’ll be at the saloon
    the entire afternoon.”
    He was steamed, but her hair got styled well.

  177. I Need Some—Oh, What’s It Called?

    With my recall declining each year,
    that I must have a “brain pill” grew clear.
    I dashed right out the door.
    When I got to the store,
    I just stared and said, “Why am I here?”

  178. Rudy Landesman says:

    They sent up a weather balloon.
    They needed to know, and real soon.
    They’ve been racking their brain
    Trying hard to explain
    Why a hurricane’s not a typhoon.

  179. Steve Benko says:

    A double-duty one using all the words:

    What’s the theme of the contest this time?
    And what words did she say we should rhyme?
    Something ending in -oon….
    Like balloon, lune, saloon?
    Aging’s made me a loon. It’s a crime!

  180. The Hindenburg mishap parts strewn,
    were eager for docking so soon.
    The scene it was tragic,
    most survived as if magic.
    The helium doomed the balloon.

  181. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Twist On Another One: Memory

    Though I’m old, I am still very bright.
    And I still feel that life’s a delight.
    So ancient am I,
    I remember a sky
    With a rainbow in pure black and white.

  182. Lisi Nortman says:

    Forever Remembering 1950’s Elementary School:
    A Scenario: “The Hall”

    Like soldiers in line, we were walking.
    And quietly, all of us balking.
    In our ears, it’s still ringing.
    Those two words that were stinging.
    We’ll never forget them: “NO TALKING!”

  183. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    There are times I must stifle a yawn,
    When my friends reminisce of days gone.
    I don’t list to be kind;
    Something else I’ve in mind:
    Yea, forsooth! ‘Twill be MY turn anon!

  184. Lisi Nortman says:

    another memory from the 50’s

    In those years, we never played hooky.
    And wondered ’bout something called “nookie”
    And right in our class,
    The teacher was crass.
    And say, “Please stop touching your pukky”.

  185. Lisi Nortman says:

    “What’s this thing?” 1950’s: Mom and Dad’s Bedroom

    I called my dear brother, “the goon”.
    And one very cold afternoon,
    He found a weird sheath,
    Which he put in his teeth.
    And formed a real tatty balloon.

  186. Lisi Nortman says:

    Memory” Fear In The Classroom: 1956″

    It’s true, that I really did love her.
    Couldn’t help it, that day, had to shove her.
    A siren we heard.
    It was truly absurd.
    When Mrs. Strict yelled out, “TAKE COVER!”

  187. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction Of A Limerick
    Mom and Dad’s Bedroom, “What’s This Thing?”

    I called my dear brother “the goon”.
    And one very cold afternoon,
    He found some kind of sheath
    Which he put in his teeth.
    And blew till he made a balloon.

  188. Rudy Landesman says:

    Remember the Alamo, man.
    Pearl Harbor, Viet Nam, if you can.
    And the Battleship “Maine”,
    Sunk in Cuba by Spain.
    So what’s new about Afghanistan?

  189. The iconic Vidal Sassoon,
    with hair-cutting always attune.
    Geometric and chic,
    just skimming the cheek.
    So humble his start from saloon.

  190. A genre of clothing called “jorts”,
    the denim we wear as our shorts.
    I typically can’t,
    be caught in that pant.
    But my memory often distorts.

  191. Terry Marter says:

    I’ve created (just using my brain)
    A hilariously crazy refrain
    It’s so funny I’m crying.
    Trust Me, – I’m not lying,
    now what was that first line again?

  192. Terry Marter says:


    Hi, this is your sweet-talkin’ whore.
    It’s about your appointment at four.
    It’s the twentieth day
    You’ve forgotten your lay
    (Yakk’ty Yak), don’t come back, that’s the score!

  193. Terry Marter says:

    I remember, I wrote the first half
    ‘bout a guy needing somewhere to Barf.
    Then I wrote him a door,
    Which I locked in line four,
    but somehow he got the last Laugh.

  194. Tony Holmes says:

    I was saved, not a moment too soon,
    By a quick-thinking, passing Walloon.
    He distracted the bear,
    And we scarpered from there
    And escaped in his hot-air balloon.

  195. Tim James says:

    I’ve a serious problem. The gist:
    I forget things. I’m getting quite pissed.
    So I write it all down.
    Now I feel like a clown:
    I forgot where I put that damn list.

  196. Dave Johnson says:

    Today I’m so glad to report
    My memory lapses are short.
    The only thing now
    Is remembering how
    We got to this beachfront resort.

  197. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Absent-mindedness sometimes is hellish;
    Drawing blanks isn’t something I relish.
    Long-term mem’ries, however,
    Confirm that I’m clever —
    They’re the ones I’ve had time to embellish.

  198. Rudy Landesman says:

    I recall that I once had the urge
    To hear Chopin’s sad, funeral dirge.
    But what made me weep?
    Ticket prices were steep,
    And this cheapskate for once had to splurge.

  199. Lisi Nortman says:

    This actually happened. About 30 years ago, my Aunt Gert, at age 85,
    married for the 5th. time. We went to visit.

    Aunt Gertrude was feeling real glum.
    Till she married her doddery chum.
    She felt so complete,
    Said, “Id like to you meet
    My new husband, Umm Umm Umm Umm Umm”.

  200. Lisi Nortman says:

    sorry about the wrong spelling of “um” , yet here is another way of putting it
    as well:

    Aunt Gertrude was feeling real glum,
    Till she married her doddery chum.
    She felt so complete,
    Said “I’d like you to meet
    My new hubby whose name is Um Um”.

  201. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ms. Unsightly, I don’t plan to spoon.
    And you won’t hear me crooning love’s tune.
    Those silvery beams
    Are just in your dreams.
    Get out of my life, you’re a loon.

  202. My cognition has run all amok,
    problems with language, I’m stuck.
    So clearly confused,
    Some perplexed some amused.
    The duck on that cluck, what the muck?

  203. Lisi Nortman says:

    My Dad’s Failing Memory

    My dad is so terribly blue.
    Can’t remember the things that he knew.
    Hope it isn’t genetic.
    That would make me frenetic.
    Cuz I know that my dad has it too.

  204. Lisi Nortman says:

    Welcome To Memory Loss Anonymous

    Good evening, folks, my name is Guy.
    I’m the Leader, I’ll help you get by.
    I know you’re confused
    And not very enthused
    Cuz you’re here and you’re wondering why.

  205. That phenomenon “tip of the tongue”,
    it happens with old I’m among.
    Do not need an assist,
    a welcoming twist.
    It also occurs in the young.

  206. Terry Marter says:

    I concede, and my towel I’ve thrown in.
    Tonight, my ideas have run thin.
    With too many lapses
    Of num’rous synapses, –
    Persisted,- but know this won’t win.

  207. Lisi Nortman says:

    Where’d I put it? (Oh, what a disgrace!)
    People tell me, “Just go and retrace”.
    Well that didn’t work,
    But now I’ve a smirk:
    I put memos all over my face.

  208. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Always Do Research”

    Surely one of my biggest regrets
    Was choosing Doc Where Am I Betz.
    I didn’t explore.
    But now I know more.
    He’s the “Surgeon Who Always Forgets”

  209. Lisi Nortman says:

    “My Tank Is Full”

    I’m ancient, folks call me “The Pain”.
    It’s their problem, so let me explain:
    When they say, I forget,
    I don’t get upset.
    There’s just no more room in my brain.

  210. Tony Holmes says:

    Journal entry: My hot-air balloon
    Has developed a leak. Very soon
    I will land with a bump
    On my derrière (rump)
    And in all likelihood, I will swoon.

  211. Lisi Nortman says:

    When I was a cute care-free tyke,
    I’d smile all day, riding my bike.
    But now that I’m old,
    The truth must be told:
    I forget a great deal of things, like

  212. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    A big Party Store, known as Festoon,
    Was held up by a bomb-toting goon.
    He yelled, “Gimme your cash —
    Don’t do anything rash —
    Or I’m blowin’ up ev’ry balloon!”

  213. Lisi Nortman says:

    My Personal Memory

    One cherished and grand afternoon,
    So nervous, I thought I would swoon.
    My first DAY as a teacher,
    (To me the main feature)
    I read all my “sweets” “Red Balloon”

    and they all walked out holding a red balloon, which I tied around their wrists.
    author, Albert Lamorisse

  214. My ex is named Skeet what a cheat,
    had a dream I restrained both his feet.
    But my mem’ries subpar,
    went to trunk of my car.
    It had bags that were drained of concrete.

  215. The tycoon was besieged by typhoon,
    had recent surprise with monsoon.
    His goal, to survive,
    and keep self alive.
    No more travel, so howdy saloon.

  216. Says Poppins who’s renown but loon,
    that medicine best if by spoon.
    Add sugar nice touch,
    soon converts to crutch.
    Then cavities hit like typhoon.

    Thanks a lot Mary!

  217. Tony Holmes says:

    Smiling up at the man in the moon
    From the boat of my hot-air balloon,
    I was taken off-guard
    When he winked, the blackguard.
    Almost fell out and died. Damn buffoon!

  218. Tony Holmes says:

    The first Frenchman to walk on la lune,
    Will, no doubt, celebrate with a tune.
    Then take three hours for lunch –
    I’m spit balling, a hunch –
    Before planting his flag close to Dune.

  219. Doug Harris says:


    By the light of the silvery moon
    She burst my one fragile balloon.
    “You’ve been seen out with SAL
    Who’s a heck of a gal,
    But I fear that her surname is OON”.

  220. Tim James says:

    A pirate, ashore in Rangoon,
    Got the clap and then sang this sad tune:
    “I Hooked up with a hussy
    Without bein’ fussy.
    She charged but a half a doubloon!”

  221. Doug Harris says:

    I wrote to you here (did I not?) –
    Damn neurons beginning to rot!
    Now we’ve that sorted out
    I am ready to spout
    ‘Bout that thing … bl**dy *ell, I forgot!!!

  222. Rudy Landesman says:

    Ms. Streisand can sing; she can croon.
    But “art song”? We sadly learned soon,
    That she could not handle
    George Frideric Handel.
    That flew like a vain lead balloon.

    “Classical Barbra” got very mixed reviews. Handel was on track 7.

  223. Dave Johnson says:

    Come down to The Flybar Saloon;
    Our jukebox will play you a tune.
    If there is some strife
    With your husband or wife,
    We’re open from midnight ’till noon.

  224. Lisi Nortman says:

    Doris Day sang “The Silvery Moon”
    Great singer, a very sweet tune.
    I still always think
    Of Doris in pink,
    Who’s stuck in her killjoy balloon.

  225. Lisi Nortman says:


    Doris Day sang “The Silvery Moon”
    Great singer, a very sweet tune.
    I still always think
    Of Doris in pink,
    Who lived in a prissy balloon.

  226. Rudy Landesman says:

    Bob Hope, you were funny. Good job!
    Your corny jokes fresh off your cob
    Your occasional gaffe
    That too made us laugh.
    So thanks for the memory, Bob.

  227. Lisi Nortman says:

    The moon has a sweet hint of shimmer.
    To the world, adds nice subtle glimmer.
    But my girlfriend, the loon
    Is convinced that the moon
    Is the sun on real high-tech dimmer.

  228. Lisi Nortman says:

    For Rudy: Our ages are showing. “Memory”

    Sinatra and Streisand and Hope?
    Bet your Mama bought Ivory soap.
    You and I still recall
    When life was a ball,
    And Pius the twelfth was the Pope.

  229. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Papa Bill, age 95”

    “Papa Bill, you don’t smell like a flower;
    I must tell you your odor’s quite sour”.
    “I guess that is true.
    I forgot what to do
    The moment I stepped in the shower”.

  230. Lisi Nortman says:

    (at 3:01 today) An attempt to write the same limerick with fewer

    The moon has a sweet hint of shimmer.
    The world sees a nice subtle glimmer.
    But my girlfriend, the loon
    Is convinced that the moon
    Is really the sun on a dimmer.

  231. Swim suit contestants were strewn,
    who caused this commotion? A loon.
    The outfit correct,
    though clear to detect.
    The bikini was donned by baboon.

  232. Terry Marter says:

    Virtuoso of contra bassoon,
    Calhoon played his local saloon.
    His fellow fagotti
    completely forgot he
    was drunk when he aced Clair De Lune.

  233. Lisi Nortman says:

    Not a Duplicate

    Doris Day, sang “The Silvery Moon”.
    Great singer, a very sweet tune.
    I always will think
    Of Doris in pink
    Tied up in a virgin balloon.

  234. Rudy Landesman says:

    Oh Lisi, just what can I say?
    I still “Cry” with the great Johnnie Ray.
    Am I showing my age?
    I recall Patti Page
    As I’m sailing along Moonlight Bay.

  235. New diet, have bupkis past noon,
    so grouchy and squawk like a loon.
    I oughta just bail,
    still look like a whale.
    The proof, I’ve been shoot with harpoon.

    Wanted to add a little zing to original.

  236. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I suggested that we only spoon,
    But she countered, “Let’s fork and damned soon!”
    I thought great till I felt
    Stabbing tines as I knelt—
    I just barely escaped Claire the Loon.

  237. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I’m sorry, Lisi, but this needs to be said: 35% of these 236 are yours—give Mad a frikin’ break! Try polishing a handful instead of subjecting her, and us, to every damned thought that crosses your mind. And do your own frikin’ editing before you submit them for god’s sake. On the plus, I’ve seen you do some very good writing. Keep it up!

  238. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Folks are saying I ran down your cat,
    And I smashed all your gnomes with a bat,
    And I spit in your pie,
    But my question is why?
    Do they think we’ve forgotten all that?

  239. Rudy Landesman says:

    An improvement on my “To Lisi” limerick.

    Oh Lisi, just what can I say?
    I still “Cry” with the great Johnnie Ray.
    Am I showing my age?
    I recall Patti Page
    As I’m waltzing the Tennessee way.

  240. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    If it’s time to fly folks to the moon,
    Is a week from next Monday too soon?
    Joe could make a few calls,
    To select enough Pols
    That could fill up a hot-air balloon.

  241. Dave Johnson says:

    My memory’s sharp as a tack;
    It’s function goes all the way back.
    I still can recall
    Life’s events big and small;
    Just details are all that I lack.

  242. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    To Konrad:

    Your verses, for me, are a hit,
    And I don’t mind opinions one bit.
    But your note to Ms. Nortman,
    Not writ in good sport, man,
    Is lacking your usual wit.

  243. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    My apologies to Lisi, and everyone else, that comment is inexcusably harsh.

  244. madkane says:

    Attention all Limerick-Off Stragglers: The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your straggler limericks in.

  245. Charles Simmons says:

    A lady magician named June
    Would go to town humming a tune.
    She could walk down the street
    Looking very discreet
    And then turn into a saloon.

  246. Judith H.Block says:

    Full of envy, you howl at the moon.
    You act like a pathetic buffoon.
    Just shows that you’re jealous!
    Admit it, do tell us!
    Need to pop your inflated balloon.

  247. Tony Holmes says:

    “An asylum, you say?” “So I’ve heard.
    It’s applied when there’s more than one bird.
    On its own it’s a loon—”
    “Nice and easy – a boon.”
    “But collective—” “Asylum’s the word.”

  248. Tony Holmes says:


    Being in a different time zone, I’m playing catch-up. As one known to proliferate on occasion, I wanted to leap to Lisi’s defence – and would have – but then I read Sjaan’s gentle but effective rebuke and your most gracious response, both of which I respectfully salute. Nevertheless, my muse wouldn’t let go and supplied what follows which I hope you will receive it in good humour – and, if necessary, forgive. It is a somewhat more robust response that Sjaan’s, but then she is a much nicer person. I promise you there’s no animosity. The moment having passed, it’s just for fun.

    “What’s a Konrad?” “A vicious attack
    By a pompous, curmudgeonly hack.”
    “Can one sue?” “Sadly, no –
    Not for having a go –
    But one can, metaphorically, whack.”

    “By what means? We can’t starve him of breath.
    Nor, I note, are you lady Macbeth.”
    “Why, by wit, scorn, and charm.
    Whilst inflicting no harm,
    One can bludgeon curmudgeon to death.”

  249. Brian Allgar says:

    “Well, Doctor, the reason I came …”
    He began. “… Lemme think … What a shame!
    I was going to say
    That I’ve lost … but today,
    I’ve completely forgotten the name.”

  250. Brian Allgar says:

    “Get vaccined? No way!” cried the loon.
    “To make myself fully immune,
    I took Ivermectin –
    I sure ain’t injectin’
    Them microchips any time soon!”

  251. Steve Benko says:

    [In reaction to Dave Johnson’s 9/3 submission at 2:15pm]:

    No matter how senile I get,
    There’s one thing I’ll never forget.
    That’s how badly it sits
    Using “it’s” meaning “its”;
    As a peeve, it’s my most favorite pet.

  252. Terry Marter says:

    Happy Daze?

    My kids said “Let’s go on this swing”
    as it flew from their hands to my shin
    From my face-downward splat
    I can still recall that
    they said “Dad, you’ve got blood on your chin”

  253. Terry Marter says:

    We all have this limerick bug
    Which spurs us to prove we no mug.
    Lisi’s mind’s in a spiral
    Cuz her bug is more viral.
    I get it, – and send her a hug.

  254. Dave Johnson says:

    To Steve Benko – you’re absolutely right. It’s something I always try to do correctly, but missed it this time.

    It’s giving me fit’s….

    Dave J

  255. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    It’s worth saying again, so I will. I am truly sorry, Lisi, and I hope I haven’t spoiled your fun. It was inexcusable, and therefore no explanation could be sufficient, but I want you to know it was not really about you, Lisi. My apologies again to everyone.

  256. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 477. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Way.