Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STATE or ESTATE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 27, 2021)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STATE or ESTATE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CO-WORKERS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CO-WORKERS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 27, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my State/Estate-rhyme limerick:

My neighbor was fined and then jailed.
“I will NOT wear a mask he had wailed!”
“It’s not up for debate,”
Said the judge. “In this state,
We follow the rules, and you’re nailed.”

And here’s my Co-Workers-themed limerick:

My cubicle-mate just resigned.
I’m relieved; he’s a boor unrefined,
Who chomps coffee beans — gross!
Glad to say “Adios!”
(Enough bitching! It’s back to the grind.)

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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215 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STATE or ESTATE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 27, 2021)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new co-worker rushed in today.
    She said, “I’m prepared to obey!
    “That boss is so sweet,
    This will sure be a treat”
    (Her perspective will soon go away)

  2. Lisi Nortman says:

    My co-worker always was cold.
    Drove me crazy! I had to be bold.
    So I made it my mission
    To build a partition
    By the thermostat I then controlled.

  3. Dave Johnson says:

    Alaska’s an interesting state;
    It’s mountains and glaciers are great.
    While cold comes too soon,
    By the middle of June
    Those 2 a.m. sunsets you’ll hate.

  4. Rudy Landesman says:

    He continues to bluster and prate
    About making America great.
    Well, you know about Don.
    He’ll forever go on,
    Even when he’ll be lying in state.

  5. Michael P Moulton says:

    Republicans just couldn’t wait
    To determine America’s fate
    By scratching the itch
    Of the super-rich
    Who say, “Please don’t tax my estate!”

  6. Lisi Nortman says:

    Tiny, yet convenient

    Rhode Island’s a beautiful state.
    The scenery’s utterly great.
    And wherever you’re going,
    It’s a pleasure in knowing
    There’s no chance in hell you’ll be late.

  7. Kirk Miller says:

    Tunnel engineer’s pay is soaring.
    All his co-workers are adoring
    What he does on the job,
    But he says with a sob
    That his everyday life is boring.

  8. Rudy Landesman says:

    The French restaurant’s meal was a treat.
    Coq au vin was a cul’nary feat.
    That fine dish, I must state,
    Magnifique, not just great,
    But was lacking McDonald’s pommes frites.

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Tour Of Manhattan

    New York is a wonderful state.
    Everything ’bout it is great.
    There is light at the end
    Of the tunnel, my friend.
    Cuz that’s where the prostitutes wait.

  10. Sharon Neeman says:

    My assistant is clumsy and fat.
    Today on my laptop he sat,
    Knocked over my cup
    And would not wipe it up…
    It’s lucky for him he’s a cat.

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    OOPS! Meter Error! (L2)

    A Tour Of Manhattan

    New York is a wonderful state.
    Just everything ’bout it is great.
    There is light at the end
    Of the tunnel, my friend.
    Cuz that’s where the prostitutes wait.

  12. Sondra Landin says:

    His palaver puts me in a state,
    His excuses for lateness do grate;
    So what should be his fate?
    Oh just show him the gate,
    And please find me a new office mate!

  13. Rudy Landesman says:

    Don’t hold it against me and smirk.
    I never did go out to work.
    I have a long list
    Of benefits missed.
    Like co-workers. Such a great perk!

  14. Sondra Landin says:

    He has lived on a gorgeous estate
    With three gardens and tall iron gate,
    But the master’s away
    And there’s no one to play,
    So he sits in the dog-house to wait.

  15. Dave Johnson says:

    The company’s e-mail did ask:
    “Which team member’s up to the task?”
    “Ha-ha!” my response;
    To this day, it still haunts.
    “Reply all” – there’s no way to mask.

  16. Sondra Landin says:

    Once you have made it, you buy an estate,
    When you grow richer, you purchase its mate;
    Skip the third – use your means
    Or some really bold schemes
    To finally reach that hot Fourth Estate!

  17. Dave Johnson says:

    Up there on the 25th floor,
    There’s a cubicle back by the door.
    Since coffee was near,
    We would gather and hear
    What sounded to us like a snore.

  18. Clay Wild says:

    The UNTIMELY death of my Grandmother Kate
    Left quite a fortune for me from her Estate
    The MOURNING of the will, from her dying
    I overslept, without even trying…
    And this then ironically made us BOTH LATE!

  19. Clay Wild says:


    For cow-workers, here’s one to, home about, write
    Mine stole a steer, then told a lie that was white
    When the news said ‘herd immunity’
    He thought that he heard impunity
    Do 2 WRONGS (spelling & stealing) that cow-tow to ACCEPTANCE make a RITE?

  20. Lisi Nortman says:

    Saw my co-worker’s pay check by chance.
    I thought I’d go into a trance!
    Now she makes more than me!
    She’s as dumb as a tree.
    She thinks that a laptop’s a dance.

  21. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new co-worker works very hard.
    Her allegiance I can’t disregard.
    Now I won’t have to tell
    All the damn personnel
    “Sign this card” “Sign this card. “Sign this card”

  22. Paul Haebig says:

    My lucky co-workers, with whom
    I frequently meet over Zoom,
    get the sight and the sound
    but the smell of my hound
    is contained in the bounds of this room.

  23. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m a lady from Jersey with class.
    I drink wine from a Waterford glass.
    I own a estate.
    Which of course, is first-rate.
    And I don’t have to pump my own gas.

  24. Rudy Landesman says:

    That great tenor and I are a team.
    We’re an opera fan’s fondest dream.
    Our performance is swell,
    After working like hell
    On duets that must end with a scream.

  25. Tony Holmes says:

    “Fare thee well, cruel world. Life’s too tough.
    I am beaten. Enough is enough.
    I bequeath my estate
    To my dog. Let my fate
    Be a warning – No! Wait! It’s a bluff!”

  26. Sharon Neeman says:

    “The cleaner is pregnant again,”
    Laughs Joe. “Yeah? What’s that? #10?”
    Replies John with a wink,
    Leaving cups in the sink
    And spilled tea on the counter. Arrrrgh! Men!

  27. David Friedman says:

    In these days of Covidian doom
    There’s a silver edge lining the gloom:
    The folks we’re employing
    Are far less annoying
    When miles away on a Zoom.

  28. I love seeing Trump’s latest fate
    as fugitive in Florida state,
    an overpaid Walmart greeter
    who waves to fend off the skeeters
    while creditors parse his estate.

  29. Doug Harris says:

    Forgive me, this is not an attack on our finest ally! We have the same problems here … it’s the human condition, not the country! Doug UK.

    The U.S. – MORE than 50 to shew!
    Conditions that run through and through:
    Anxiety, hate,
    Self-loathing, all states –
    And greed, just to name but a few.

  30. Doug Harris says:

    My colleagues are one of a kind,
    To the ethic of work, how they’re blind!
    It’s such a tear-jerker
    This team are co-shirkers,
    ‘I’m all right Jack”s the way they’re designed.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    We all know someone like this:

    I’ve got to get out of this room!
    My co-worker’s always in bloom.
    I cough and I sneeze.
    I am never at ease.
    She is known as “Miss Too Much Perfume”.

  32. Dave Johnson says:

    In break rooms and hallways he’d lurk
    And leer with a lecherous smirk.
    He creeped and appalled
    As the dirtbag they called
    “That NSFW jerk”.

  33. Tony Holmes says:

    As a wordsmith of no fixed abode
    I am sometimes in text overload.
    To offset this estate –
    Synonym: constipate –
    I embark on the less travelled road.

  34. Rudy Landesman says:

    Those lawyers, were dealing in slime.
    What they did for Trump was a crime.
    Those co-workers-at-law,
    Whom the whole nation saw,
    Should now be in jail doing time.

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    Flo visits her boyfriend in New Jersey

    I’m so happy to see you dear Flo.
    Let us have a nosh after the show.
    In this great “Garden State”
    Not a soul has to wait.
    There’s a diner wherever you go.”

  36. Jean McEwen says:

    Can there really be any debate
    That the COVID mortality rate
    Would have been lots, lots lower
    (From the bug spreading slower)
    Had things not been left up to each state?

  37. Jean McEwen says:

    Kirk, at work, is a jerk – always shirking
    His duties, and eerily lurking
    Around me – and Kate,
    Who’s my cubicle mate,
    Reeks like skunk and is constantly smirking.

  38. Tony Holmes says:

    I am oft in a meditative state,
    Cogitating on fortune and fate.
    But for Fate’s fickle hand
    I’d possess wealth and land.
    As it is, I have neither – to date.

  39. Dave Johnson says:

    Outside on a summertime date,
    They reposed in an amorous state.
    However, some jerk
    Put his cell phone to work;
    Then posted on sites they would hate.

  40. Dave Johnson says:

    Hi Mad – could you please change line 1 of my post above to read:
    “Outside on a summertime date,”

    Thanks, Dave


  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    This actually happened at my job about 10 years ago. I couldn’t believe it

    I had a good reason to brood.
    My co-worker surely was rude.
    She stole all my lunch.
    I just needed to munch.
    Then she offered me some of my food.

  42. Dave Johnson says:

    With co-workers there for a treat,
    The birthday guy sat in his seat
    And managed to blow
    All the candles aglow.
    Then smoke alarms added their bleat.

  43. Tony Holmes says:

    Postcard from CEO who scarpered with his new secretary and the pension fund.

    Fellow workers, good colleagues and all,
    Be advised, I am having a ball!
    I’ll return, in due course,
    Without guilt or remorse,
    Maybe this year? No! Prob’ly next fall.

  44. Tony Holmes says:

    The office party.

    Christmas parties are famously dire.
    Disinhibited drunken desire
    Forms designs on pert busts.
    Secretarial lusts
    Call a holiday truce and ceasefire.

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s a pain, yet you always will see
    (And I swear, it’s a sure guarantee)
    That ev-er-y state
    Has a 10 hour wait
    At the “I’d Rather Die” D.M.V.”

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Magnificent Estate

    Take this quiz, why not give it a whirl?
    Get a map, and then slowly unfurl.
    Now find the estate
    That’s enchantingly great
    Which is owned by a real funny girl.

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    Jane bequeathed me a stunning estate.
    Which was elegant, charming, (so great).
    It could have been mine,
    But I had to decline.
    Cause I can’t even clean my own plate.

  48. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Archie Angel, my boss, loves to yell
    At Zebub (better known as B. L.).
    The evil plot thickens,
    When in walks Lil Dickens —
    The worst of my workmates from hell.

  49. Sondra Landin says:

    I can now unequivoc’lly state,
    I have put on some un-needed weight;
    My jeans are too tight,
    Must do something right;
    I shall dine from a much smaller plate!

  50. Sondra Landin says:

    My boyfriend is in a bad state,
    It’s probably something he ate;
    But foods that are liable
    To make him less viable,
    I’ve not cooked for him – not to date!

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    Maryland: famous for the best crabs in the U.S.

    ‘Ole Maryland just can’t be beat.
    On the cold days or even in heat.
    It’s the “crab-loving” state.
    But it’s not really great.
    When you itch from the kind you don’t eat.

  52. Tony Holmes says:

    Edward Grim, now resigned to his fate,
    Forced a smile as he thought of his mate.
    Things were fine up until
    He let slip, in his will,
    He’d bequeathed him his bloody estate.

  53. Rudy Landesman says:

    Old Peter who lives in Lake Placid
    Takes daily a dose of antacid.
    His doctor did state,
    “In bed you’ll be great”.
    But Peter’s old peter stayed flaccid.

  54. Sondra Landin says:

    Hello Mad,
    If you have a moment, would you please change Line 5 of the limerick I submitted today at 2:22pm to: I shall dine from a much smaller plate! I think it sounds more pompously amusing. Thanks


  55. Clay Wild says:

    A profound (now renowned) Potentate
    Heaped some lard on whatever he ate
    Now he soon grew so FAT
    That when STANDING he SAT
    His “stroll’s” now a “roll” ‘round his Estate!

  56. Dave Johnson says:

    “Alexa” I asked way too late,
    “Would you have a lim’rick to state?”
    The thing that came out
    Had me beaming, no doubt;
    It made all my worst ones seem great.

  57. Daisy Ward says:

    A co-worker took my lunch
    All you heard was a loud crunch
    I watched her real hard
    I pumped up my arm part
    And gave her a knockout punch

  58. Daisy Ward says:

    Items were brought from an estate
    There was even a nice pair of skates
    They were put on quick
    She did a new trick
    She was thrown through a very old gate

  59. The executrix of the estate
    Was clearly second-rate.
    She burned the will,
    Sent heirs a bill,
    And demanded a full rebate.

  60. Tony Holmes says:

    In defence of my honour, I state,
    That the tale I’m about to relate,
    Is the truth. And I claim
    I took nowt from this dame.
    It was handed to me on a plate.

  61. Tony Holmes says:

    Ah, the wonder of words! Agitate:
    Meaning, create an unsettled state.
    But one asks, “Is that kind –
    To unsettle a mind?”
    And if, “No.” then, ameliorate.

  62. Tony Holmes says:

    “Do you think it was something I ate?”
    “Hard to tell. We’ve done tests, now we wait.
    Not to trouble your calm –
    I don’t wish to alarm –
    Have you settled your bills and estate?”

  63. Tony Holmes says:

    Solitude is an arid estate,
    And one misses a close inti-mate.
    One can manage alone –
    Please don’t think I bemoan –
    But the sap has been rising of late.

  64. Tony Holmes says:

    Solitude is an arid estate,
    And one misses a close inti-mate.
    One can manage alone –
    Please don’t think I bemoan –
    But the sap has been rising of late.

    P’raps an advert? ‘A hermit desires
    A companion to stoke certain fires.
    One who’ll share his intent,
    With some time off for Lent,
    And who’ll give him a break when he tires.’

  65. Tony Holmes says:

    Ah, the wonder of words! Aggravate:
    Meaning, irk or annoy; irritate.
    Colleagues do that, don’t they?
    Don’t you think they should pay?
    Have your vengeance today. Instigate!

  66. Tony Holmes says:

    More, ‘the wonder of words!’ Cogitate:
    Meaning, ponder, reflect, meditate.
    For our mantra today,
    Let us focus on Fay.
    She will help us achieve mellow-state.

  67. Bob Turvey says:

    Said a girl, “What I know of the date,
    I’m afraid — it is not very great.
    I think that trees make them
    And somehow men take them;
    But why and what for I can’t state.”

  68. Bob Turvey says:

    Let’s consider the blood-sucking tick.
    When gorged it is half an inch thick.
    If squeezed in this state
    By yourself, or a mate,
    It explodes. It’s a great party trick.

  69. Bob Turvey says:

    I’ve a sensitive friend known as Kate,
    Who fears water – whatever its state.
    So at Val d’Isere
    She had mal de mer
    Whilst skiing – that’s something I’d hate.

  70. Bob Turvey says:

    I said to my butler McGuire,
    “To what in life do you aspire?”
    “A Lord would be great,
    With a landscaped estate;
    But I’ll probably just make Esquire.”

  71. Tony Holmes says:

    Mad, when you have a moment, please remove the one above. I felt the ending was too lame.

    Widow Murphy surveyed her estate,
    The bequest of her husband, now late.
    “Forty years I endured,
    Left his life uninsured.
    Please excuse while I quietly deflate.”



  72. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Report to L. Nortman Mystery Tours:

    The map you provided was great —
    I managed to breach the estate!
    Found Barb — now a granny —
    Home watching her Fanny.
    (It’s old, but still not out of date).

  73. Clay Wild says:

    Though my reaction was quite vitriolic
    Her removal of “If God” was symbolic
    Our Creator’s here to stay
    So I can’t ‘meter’ half-way…
    Co-worker wordplay just ain’t symbiotic!

  74. Clay Wild says:

    On account of her “God-Like” aversion
    My ‘co’ seems more obsessed with perversion…
    She can REPENT for her crimes
    If done CONTRITELY, in rhymes
    And with PRAYERS, there’s still hope for CONVERSION!

  75. Clay Wild says:

    Some discussion may help to illumine
    Her critique and poetic acumen
    ‘Co’ was in a bad mood
    And I’m forced to conclude
    That she’s worthy of flaws, and still human!

  76. Clay Wild says:

    Censorship is not very becoming
    And in this day and age it’s just numbing
    My ‘co’ feigned Debonair
    But it’s really not fair
    And it won’t stop the limericks from coming!

  77. Lisi Nortman says:

    For Sjaan:

    I knew that she had an estate.
    So, for fun, I tried hard to create
    A mystery quiz.
    You sure are a whiz.
    “Out of date?” Well, I sure can relate!

  78. Tony Holmes says:

    Hi Mad! Lost the plot on the two above. Please delete when you have a moment. Sorry!


  79. Bob Turvey says:

    I work on a farm. My co-workers,
    All dress in niqabs and brown burkas.
    These clothes, from the East,
    Upset ev’ry beast –
    My co-workers are all cow irkers.

  80. Tony Holmes says:

    Justice League running round in a flap,
    Wonder Woman, The Flash, Aquachap.
    Superman asks The Bat,
    “What goes on? What’s the mat’?”
    “It’s Green Lantern. His charger’s gone—” Zap!

    A co-worker limerick.

  81. Tony Holmes says:

    Ah, another fine word! Castigate:
    Means, admonish, chastise, or berate.
    “For the last time! Take heed!
    You may NOT sow your seed
    During work hours. Now send in Ms State!”

    Might I claim a crafty twofer?

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    (We drove cross country, 1988) “The Texas Adventure”

    Here’s a fact that is perfectly true.
    It’s a story that might make you blue.
    Routing Texas, (the state)
    Is only real great,
    If you’ve 2 months with nothing to do.

  83. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    One time in a terrible state
    Of pure anger I wished to abate,
    I joined a Retreat
    Where I’d love, pray, and eat.
    But the cost of it made me irate.

  84. Lisi Nortman says:

    another quiz for Sjaan:

    It’s a place where the Orioles play.
    If you go there, you might want to stay.
    And this Eastern state
    Is not really great,
    If you don’t like the taste of Old Bay.

  85. Tim James says:

    Legal pot wasn’t up for debate
    Where he lived, and he just couldn’t wait.
    Since he wanted to groove,
    He decided to move.
    Now he lives in a mellower state.

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    Who can solve THIS one?

    This singer has gone very far.
    He’s a dashing and cool superstar.
    New York is his state.
    Mad and Mark think he’s great.
    He just loves you the way that you are.

  87. Rudy Landesman says:

    My whole oeuvre is great far beyond rhymes.
    With a touch of sheer genius at some times.
    And I humbly must state,
    Though it’s hubris I hate,
    That my rhymes are much better than Sondheim’s.

  88. Tony Holmes says:

    Justice League’s running round in a flap,
    Wonder Woman, The Flash, Aquachap.
    Superman asks The Bat,
    “What goes on? What’s the mat’?”
    “Seems Green Lantern’s ring charger’s gone—” Zap!

  89. Tony Holmes says:

    “Listen up! Fellow workers, I state,
    Economics have settled our fate.
    From today – hear me out –
    We must now do for nowt
    What we once did for wages. Just wait

    I’m not finished. There’ll be no debate.
    If you’re wise, you’ll be grateful. Don’t hate
    Me and don’t think me cruel.
    Ha, ha, ha! April fool!
    There’s a party tonight. Don’t be late.”

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    I think I’ve been sleeping too late.
    I don’t even know today’s date.
    It’s been 63 years!
    Yet this perked up my ears:
    Are you sure that Alaska’s a state?

  91. Tony Holmes says:

    Dropping your co-worker in the doo-doo. (Sorry, no. That was last week.)

    “Asked a question, this worker won’t state
    Plain and simple, he’ll prevaricate.
    He will often regale
    With a Canterbury tale,
    Which is why our deliveries are late.”

    Another twofer?

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    00ps! meter error (3/18 1:26 PM on blog)

    another mystery tour

    Those Ravens, they sure love to play,
    In a place I will not give away.
    But this Mid-Eastern state,
    May not be so great
    For the folks who don’t care for Old Bay.

  93. Dave Johnson says:

    The grounds have a wonderful feel;
    Inside, all the rooms are ideal.
    Superb and first-rate
    This fantastic estate;
    I’m dreaming and no, it’s not real.

  94. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Note to Nortman:

    Billy Joel and Maryland, too!
    Yes, I’m too smart for Mensa. it’s true.
    And poor Streisand’s estate?
    Well, it’s merely third-rate.
    This I know cuz I own Malibu.

    Note to self:
    (Should I ‘fess up, or prevaricate?
    Ack! I’m in an ambivalent state.
    Lies, I know, are uncouth.
    Should I just tell the truth —
    Without Google, I don’t know the date?)

  95. Sondra Landin says:

    I laugh when I think of my ‘team.’
    They come “ready for work”, they beam,
    But give them a task,
    Lo, just as I ask,
    They’ll mask and retreat from the scene!

  96. Ken Gosse says:

    Silence of the Lambs ~
    Deep silence fell over the crowd
    when the boss started thinking aloud.
    Phones came to a stop—
    you could hear a pin drop—
    for his mind was as blank as a shroud.

  97. Dave Johnson says:

    They call it the Evergreen State;
    The Space Needle’s standing up straight.
    With days turning clear,
    You can spot Mount Rainier;
    Its wine should be next to your plate.

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    Could you please delete the above answers from from me?
    That say “very good, Sjaa!E?

    That’s it. I don’t know what happened
    That’s it
    Thank you ,Lisi


  99. Sondra Landin says:

    My colleagues and I are young roisters;
    We like to drink champagne with oysters;
    But often we’re loud,
    Of that I’m not proud,
    ‘Cause we all do work at the Cloisters!

  100. Tony Holmes says:

    On the eve of the annual fete,
    Which is held on Lord Gelding’s estate,
    Lady Gelding ran nude,
    And was hotly pursued
    By her lover, Long John: but that’s fate.

  101. Tony Holmes says:

    On the eve of the annual fete,
    Which is held on Lord Gelding’s estate,
    Lady Gelding ran nude,
    And was hotly pursued
    By her lover, Long John: but that’s fate.

    Breaking news from the annual fete.
    Seems Lord Gelding is somewhat irate.
    “Bad enough you run nude …
    Damn it all! It’s just rude
    To leave all the arrangements to Kate.”

  102. Tony Holmes says:

    Can a man take a hand in his fate,
    Or determine his final estate?
    They of cynical slant
    Might advance, “No, he can’t.
    He is stuck with what’s put on his plate.”

  103. Tony Holmes says:

    Can a man take a hand in his fate,
    Or determine his final estate?
    They of cynical slant
    Might advance, “No, he can’t.
    He is stuck with what’s put on his plate.”

    “On the other hand, maybe, with plan.
    It depends very much on the man.
    It may be very few
    Can make dreaming come true,
    But with help from good colleagues, some can.”

  104. Lisi Nortman says:

    ” O O O O OK”

    I’m so happy, I’m screamin’ “Yipee!”
    We are red, but it don’t bother me.
    In this great southern state
    For 10 whole days straight
    No tornados have hit. Golly Gee!

    (and the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain)

  105. Clay Wild says:

    You can’t under-state or over-state
    When real estate IS a REAL ESTATE
    To understand the curb appeal
    The REAL-ly LARGE ones are UN-real
    So UN-real, you CAN’T exaggerate!

  106. Clay Wild says:

    My thesis could use a good peer SOUNDING BOARD
    Sought out my ‘co’ – “HARSH CRITIQUE,” I implored!
    Midway through lead paragraph
    It became my own epitaph…
    Came snoring & snort from my peer, SOUNDING BORED!

  107. Clay Wild says:

    Cow-Poke II

    Said my ‘co’, in steer pilferer’s plight
    “My alibi sounded ‘almost’ contrite…”
    Was the case open-shut, frog-ass tight?
    Or was the ‘bull’, like the steer, black-and-white?
    Be the judge – can what steer-ed wrong now turn right?!?

  108. Clay Wild says:

    Has the standard of MAD limerick ‘quality’
    Been replaced and out-paced by sheer ‘quantity’?
    Although we LOVE the assortment
    From Tony H an Ms. Nortman
    It’s a conundrum we can call PARODY!

  109. Tim James says:

    Our salesmen are miserable guys.
    All their revenue numbers are lies.
    They imbibe to excess.
    And promiscuous? Yes.
    But there’s worse: they steal office supplies.

  110. Lisi Nortman says:

    Another Idea

    I’m real happy and so full of glee.
    Oklahoma’s the right place to be!
    Cuz in this Sooner state,
    For 10 whole days straight,
    No tornados have visited me.

  111. Clay Wild says:

    If ‘magic’ words could rhyme and duplicate
    Then 1, 2, 4, 8 – “WOW!”, I’ proudly state
    Like knocked down sloops or Santa’s elves
    These AUTO-RIX could write themselves!
    “Two”, left-alone [but so right-together…], could Lim’rick Procreate!

  112. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sjaan: The answer (s) to this quiz is a CITY , not a state. If you name just one of the cities, then I give up :)

    I’m in love with a girl from this state.
    Her name’s Mary, and boy! she is great.
    Someday, we will Mary.
    Her ring I shall carry.
    I’m so Mary, can’t wait for that date.

    ( Mary Christmas)

  113. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: line 5 Instead of “Well be Mary, I know it’s our fate” to
    I’m so Mary, can’t wait for that date.

    Thank you,


  114. Kirk Miller says:

    Don’t buy pre-shredded cheese, I will state
    To my wife. It is something I hate.
    It’s lacking in flavor,
    So do me a favor;
    Let me shred cheese myself, which is grate.

  115. Tony Holmes says:

    Busy Bee, being busy, stays late,
    Making efforts to cross pollinate.
    Her promotion assured,
    And her toilette restored,
    She returns to her humble estate.

  116. Tony Holmes says:

    “You’re too eager! Please procrastinate.
    You will have to forgo my estate.
    I’ll admit I’ve been ill,
    But my heart’s beating still
    So, please colour me tardy, not late.”

  117. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new co-worker simply won’t do.
    His name’s TONY, he sure makes me blue.
    He’s not part of the team,
    And that just makes me scream.
    He writes limericks all the day through.

  118. Dave Johnson says:

    Nick’s habit – to gossip and mock;
    Some members were “dumb as a rock.”
    The headset he wore
    On the cubicle floor
    Allowed him to stand up and talk.

    Comeuppance was headed his way;
    The folks in I.T. had their say.
    His image was shown
    On a gag site that’s known
    For “Assholes Anonymous Day”.

  119. Clay Wild says:

    Mother Nature does surely think out-of-the-box
    She gives March such a BURST with those lilacs and flox
    As we co-habituate
    With new Spring in our gate
    She chauffeurs us with “VERN” in her sleek “EQUINOX!

  120. Clay Wild says:

    Whoops – please make that ‘’phlox’ in #121

    No. Since you know how to write limericks, but insist on submitting NON-limericks, I won’t be providing any such assistance.


  121. Sondra Landin says:

    I don’t want to be labeled an ingrate;
    Writing lim’ricks is currently my fate;
    I compose ev’ry day,
    On the ‘throne’, in the hay,
    And surprise! – I’m in really a good state.

  122. Sondra Landin says:

    Oops, sorry Mad – in Line 2 it should be lim’ricks.
    If you can, please correct it. Thanks!



  123. Lisi Nortman says:

    Illinois is a real famous state.
    Yet our Governors can’t “get it straight”.
    How many you ask,
    Have been taken to task?
    The answer is four out of eight.

    (corruption charges: true)

  124. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oops! I think it was 4 out of 8.
    Could you please change “The answer is 5 out of 8” to “The answer is 4 out of eight? Thank you, Mad.


  125. Dave Johnson says:

    The Beavers and Ducks in this state
    Have fans that will never relate.
    They squabble and curse
    Over whose team is worse;
    Exception: our governor, Kate.

  126. Clay Wild says:

    Driving Miss Daisy [Mad]…

    Mother Nature thinks into the box
    To fill them with lilacs and phlox
    As we co-habituate
    She drives Spring through our gate
    With pal Vern and her green Equinox!

  127. Clay Wild says:

    (non) Limerick (un)Defined?

    Why is lim’rick license so maligned?
    Can the ‘longs’ have max 10 or max 9?
    Is up to twelve such a stretch
    That a mad judge would likely wretch?
    Eaten words, just like rules, sometimes bind…

    From now on, only bona fide attempts to write real limericks will be permitted to appear in the comments. A deliberate addition of extra syllables in an effort to “invent a new form of limerick” will not get past “moderation.”


  128. Tony Holmes says:

    Master Wild, you have not been maligned.
    (Had it been up to me, you’d be fined.)
    Castigated? Mayhap:
    But the fact is, dear chap,
    Your attempts to subvert were declined.

    Master Wild, you are missing the point.
    Take deep breath and put nose back in joint.
    The lim’ form had been fired
    Long before you were sired,
    Your attempts to exceed disappoint.

    Any twit, Master Wild, can ignore:
    But the trick is to master the score.
    Thrice times three, twice times three –
    Come on, try it with me –
    And the last like the first two before.

    It’s Dactylic trimeter by name.
    Now you’ve got it, try playing the game.
    Get a grip! Train your mind –
    We are cruel to be kind –
    And no more of your nonsense. For shame!

  129. Tony Holmes says:

    Join the dipsticks – think dickheads – debate.
    Air your views and opinions. Deflate
    Their balloons and declare,
    “You’re buffoons! You lack flair,
    So, give up and forswear, and don’t state!”

  130. Tony Holmes says:

    Mad, would you replace the period with an exclamation point after state, please, in the limerick above. I think it should be emphatic. Thank you.


  131. Tony Holmes says:

    Join the dipsticks – think dickheads – debate.
    Air your views and opinions. Deflate
    Their balloons and declare,
    “You’re buffoons! You lack flair,
    So, desist and forswear! (Means, don’t state.)”

    Sorry, but I didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding.

  132. Tony Holmes says:

    P’raps like me, you’ve a low dipstick bar.
    I’d say ‘threshold’ but that wouldn’t scan.
    I get somewhat irate –
    You might think, ‘Stressed out state,’
    And these days I don’t limbo so well.

  133. Gail White says:

    Whenever my office-mates gather
    At break-time for coffee and blather,
    I add my two cents
    Which are brief but intense,
    And do I get bored with it? Rather!

  134. Sondra Landin says:

    My ex boyfriend you ought to ignore.
    He would rave about things I deplore,
    And whatever he’d state
    Would be brimming with hate;
    That’s why he is my boyfriend no more!

  135. Sondra Landin says:

    His girlfriend in Rome was exquisite.
    Years later he goes back to visit;
    She has gained quite some weight,
    (Life’s good on her estate),
    So he cries: “Ciao, it’s you, yes! – or is it?”

  136. Dave Johnson says:

    Hawaii – our 50th state;
    “Aloha” you’ll hear at the gate.
    While beaches and sun
    Offer plenty of fun,
    Perhaps getting lei’d is your fate.

  137. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Geography Expert

    Oh, Hon, what a beautiful night!
    The stars are just twinkling so bright!
    Glad we’re not in a state.
    Cuz all 50 I hate.
    (North Dakota’s in Canada, right?)

  138. Lisi Nortman says:

    Have you read this new book called, “State Guide?”
    It says, “Ev-er-y state has its pride.
    So learn ’bout your state.
    And you best get it straight.
    If you don’t, I will come tan your hide”

  139. Dave Johnson says:

    An ode to the Golden Gate state:
    Its wonders are truly first-rate.
    Mt. Shasta, The Bay,
    Then on down through LA;
    Where silicone valleys conflate.

  140. Lisi Nortman says:

    Year:1963 Subject: State Abbreviations.

    Used to live in a state that had class.
    Then entered those real mean “Top Brass”
    They said MA’s your state!
    I remember that date:
    When I no longer went to High Mass.

  141. Rudy Landesman says:

    Our lim’ricks have always been nice
    And coated with sugar and spice.
    But I really hate
    That I now must state
    There’s trouble in our Paradise.

  142. Rudy Landesman says:

    The Mikado Redux

    We’re three little maidens, are we.
    Three street workers, out for a fee.
    Without long delays
    Sir Sullivan pays,
    But Gilbert, he gets it for free.

  143. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Sadder Version. The Trauma Of State Abbreviations: 1963

    Used to live in a state that had class.
    Then entered the real mean “Top Brass”
    They said “M.A.’s your state.”
    I was merely age eight.
    And I never again went to Mass.

  144. madkane says:

    Message for Clay Wild:

    From now on, only bona fide attempts to write real limericks will be permitted to appear in the comments. In other words, the deliberate addition of extra syllables in an effort to “invent a new form of limerick” will not get past “moderation.”


  145. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: My limerick, written today at 5:20 is rather confusing.
    Line 3 reads, They said, “MA’s your state”

    Could you please change that to: They said “M.A.’s your state.”
    Those 2 periods might clear that up.
    Thank you, Lisi


  146. Dave Johnson says:

    A prankster who knows all the tricks,
    Embarrassment’s part of his mix.
    This joker from work
    Summed it up with a smirk:
    “I go where there’s dumb they won’t fix.”

  147. Lisi Nortman says:

    As the song goes: “State Street, That Great Street”
    (Chicago Senior Living)

    I am never imbued with dismay.
    Cuz “The Frail Home” is not far away.
    Take the bus that’s on State.
    There is never a wait.
    Then get off when you sniff the Ben-Gay.

  148. Dave Johnson says:

    He moved to an ocean estate;
    Surrounded by walls with a gate.
    Regarding the past,
    Here’s hoping at last
    Indictments determine his fate.

  149. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Polly’s penchant to prattle and prate,
    Was this worker’s most mem’rable trait;
    And those with desks near her,
    Swore they could still hear her,
    Long after she’d moved out of state.

  150. Tony Holmes says:

    I am covered with shame and confusion. Limericks are, of course, written in ANAPAESTS not DACTYLS. I am a Wally! (That’s a UK euphemism for dipstick, which is also a UK euphemism for something worse.) I hang my head in shame – don’t worry, it won’t last – and publish a corrected version of the last limerick of my rebuke.

    Anapaestic trimeter by name.
    Now you’ve got it, try playing the game.
    Get a grip! Train your mind –
    We are cruel to be kind –
    And no more of your nonsense. For shame!

  151. Tim James says:

    I would like to emphatic’ly state
    That my co-workers make me irate.
    There are bores by the score,
    Gossips, whackos, and more —
    Of bozos, a genuine spate.

  152. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    For Lisi:

    This weekend I put down my slate
    And from lim’ricks endured a brief spate,
    But today I do see
    You are asking of me
    To find Mary, her city, her state.

    So I’m searching the Mary land map —
    Even using my Where’s Waldo app —
    But I’m bound to misstate
    Mary’s marital fete,
    For between my two ears there’s a gap.

    Mary, Mary…Contrary? Oh damn.
    Is she proud? Does she own a small lamb?
    Was a “sweep” her best mate?
    Is “The Virgin” her state?
    Madly mired in Marys, I am.

    But, dear traveler, unless I am erring,
    And my “do” is more “done” than it’s derring,
    I am in the wrong state,
    And this thing on my plate
    Called blue crab, smells a lot like red herring.

  153. Dave Johnson says:

    Three frat boys from Washington State
    Decided to open the gate
    Of a rancher’s corral.
    His security gal
    Had drone shots – the sheriff said “Great!”

  154. Daisy Ward says:

    Items were bought from an estate
    There was even a nice pair of skates
    They were put on quick
    She did a new trick
    She was thrown through a very old gate

  155. Daisy Ward says:

    A co-worker ate my lunch
    All you heard was a loud crunch
    I watched her real hard
    Then, pumped my arm part
    And gave her a knockout punch

  156. Dave Johnson says:

    My family would move state-to-state;
    Some lousy while others were great.
    That’s back in the day;
    Now each year I can say
    Our car has the very same plate.

  157. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Advice For The New Co-Worker”

    “I’d like you to be my good friend
    So there’s something you must comprehend:
    To do well at this place
    Pose that “hard-working” face
    And remember the key word “PRETEND”

  158. Clay Wild says:

    Too Numb (da da dum) to Relate

    Her strict ways, mixed with mine, don’t conflate
    Puts me OFF-ten in emulous state
    Her opinion and mine
    Do diverge, and that’s fine
    Is it FETE (more wordplay) or just FATE?!?

  159. Clay Wild says:

    Meddling (Gold) at the Oh-LIMP-Picks

    Tony, to a fault, loves to meddle
    My ‘co’, we’ve a score, yet to settle…
    But when ‘tered in the ‘test
    Mad K will (’spite detest…)
    Both cede and concede the Gold Medal!

    FYI “meddle” doesn’t rhyme with “medal.”
    Nor does “test” rhyme with detest.

  160. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sjaan: The answer to my Mary Puzzle is primarily Chicago and Philadelphia.
    “The Strange Case Of Mary, Merry, and Marry”

    From New York to Chicago, I came.
    Heard 3 words that all sounded the same.
    But they’ve got diff’rent meanings!!
    Yet, because of their leanings,
    The town folks just put me to shame!

    Now, “marry” is when you unite.
    And “merry” is just sheer delight.
    And cute little” Mary”
    Whose moods never vary
    Is a girl who is pretty and bright.

    So why do folks say words this way?
    I don’t know, but it’s turnin’ me gray.
    If it gets any worse,
    I’ll just do the reverse
    And move back to the Barnegat Bay.

  161. Clay Wild says:

    Here at work, don’t talk church, or your leisure
    Politics, out-of-bounds, for good measure
    We’re all MUM(s), silence RAINS…
    But nobody complains
    We’re ‘on mute’, save for FLOWERS & WEATHER!

    FYI “weather” doesn’t rhyme with either “leisure” or “measure.”

  162. Clay Wild says:

    Author’s LIE-SCENTS

    My frustration is now at its peak
    It’s just ONE perfect lim’rick I seek…
    Just sent one, thought it great
    In reply, Mad did state:
    That I stink, I smell bad, AND I reek!

  163. Clay Wild says:

    Tony H just contritely admitted
    That he ‘Wallied’ a word he’d omitted
    You DID faux pas with DACTYLS
    Are the wheels off your axles?!?
    With forgiveness, my “co”, you’re acquitted!


    FYI dactyls doesn’t rhyme with axles.

    Nor does admitted rhyme with omitted. (Hint: Both are “mitted.”)

  164. Dave Johnson says:

    A Blockbuster lives in this state;
    The very last one, I’ll relate.
    It’s right here in Bend;
    With a fun, local trend:
    The VHS film-watching date.

  165. Tony Holmes says:

    “Must be said, Master Clay, you’re a treasure,
    Though you still have to master the measure.
    I’m relieved that you state,
    ‘You’re forgiven, old mate.’
    So, no pistols at dawn at my leisure?”

  166. Tony Holmes says:

    “When it comes to the last, let me go.
    I am telling you now, so you’ll know.
    Do not resuscitate.
    I’ve arranged my estate,
    And it’s gone on ahead. So, no dough.”

  167. Tony Holmes says:

    Once again to Lord Gelding’s estate.
    Seems Long John has succumbed to his fate.
    He won’t chase anymore.
    G has evened the score.
    John will be very sore. He can’t mate.

  168. Tony Holmes says:

    I was in the mood for a saga:

    On the eve of the annual fete,
    Which is held on Lord Gelding’s estate,
    Lady Gelding ran nude,
    And was hotly pursued
    By her lover, Long John: but that’s fate.

    Breaking news from the annual fete.
    Seems Lord Gelding is somewhat irate.
    “Bad enough you run nude …
    Damn it all! It’s just rude
    To foist all the arrangements on Kate.”

    Once again to Lord Gelding’s estate.
    Seems Long John has succumbed to his fate.
    He won’t chase anymore.
    G has evened the score.
    John will be very sore – he can’t mate.

    In the annals of country estates,
    Earls are known to think highly of fetes.
    If you value your life,
    Take a run at his wife,
    But ‘Oy vey!’ if his gala’s in straits.

  169. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Lisi — Thanks for the heads-up. Now that my head’s up, I can better bay at the Barnegat moon :)

    If it’s merry to marry young Mary,
    Is it hairy to hurry old Harry?
    Just suppose the two mate,
    And they form a new state
    With more Marys and Harrys? How scary!

  170. Rudy Landesman says:

    I once was just WILD about Harry,
    But Clay on my mind now does tarry.
    He really does grate.
    He’s in a bad state.
    Clay’s wild, and his nonsense does carry.

  171. Lisi Nortman says:

    Co-worker and State (double)

    My co-worker’s never dismayed.
    And claims that’s the reason she’s stayed.
    She will constantly state
    “This job is so great,
    I do nothing and still I get paid.”

  172. Rudy Landesman says:

    I live in the great state, New York.
    Champagne I will herewith uncork.
    Our traditions are great.
    No myths, I must state.
    Our kids are still brought by the stork.

  173. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sjaan: This is how a U.S. Easterner would re-write your limerick:

    Is it merry to marry young Mary?
    I don’t think so, cuz Mary’s too hairy.
    If she finds a nice mate,
    And they form a new state,
    All that hair will beget it too scary.

    (All manners of speech very (:
    In the East, Mary rhymes with hairy.
    Merry rhymes with cherry.
    Marry rhymes with carry.)

  174. Dave Johnson says:

    They flock to this southernmost state;
    Unmasked, thereby challenging fate.
    With overflow crowds,
    There is hope that the clouds
    Would drench them, both early and late.

  175. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Population stats brought up to date,
    Was one misantrope’s happiest state.
    His old heart filled with joy,
    And he hollered, “Oh boy!
    Nearly eight billion people to hate!”

  176. Dave Johnson says:

    Our office assistant was great;
    She came from a northeastern state.
    She’d talk about “caahs”,
    Her favorite “baahs”
    And that baseball team Yankee fans hate.

  177. Lisi Nortman says:

    I sat in the lunchroom, and PHEW !
    (So happy that half the day’s through)
    I longed for some peace.
    Then my co-worker, Reese
    Said “Hi, What ja doin? What’s new?

  178. Lisi Nortman says:


    I sat in the lunchroom and PHEW !
    (Glad half of my work day was through.)
    I longed for some peace,
    Enter co-worker Reese,
    With that , “Hi, How ya doin’? What’s new?”

  179. Tony Holmes says:

    So, the world’s in a terrible state.
    It’s polluted with carbon and hate.
    On the bright side, it’s Spring.
    This won’t change anything,
    But it might take our minds off our fate.

  180. Tony Holmes says:

    Or …

    So, the world’s in a terrible state.
    It’s polluted with carbon and hate.
    On the bright side, it’s Spring.
    This won’t change anything,
    But it puts us in mind of our fete.

  181. Tony Holmes says:

    Can a man, if he’s crafty, cheat fate?
    Some might argue, “He can’t. No debate.”
    Californians aver –
    And I think I concur –
    He can have a good try in this state.”

  182. Lisi Nortman says:

    Cydnee’s Leaving

    I heard that you’re leaving, dear Cyd.
    You are sweet and a really good kid.
    Well, here’s a big kiss.
    I surely will miss
    All that work that you just never did.

  183. Dave Johnson says:

    Facilities people would say
    They’d share in some laughter each day.
    It might be a tune
    Someone’s trying to croon;
    Or a marketer “showing the way”.

  184. Sondra Landin says:

    My heart is not full of deep hate;
    My tensions do start to abate;
    The world’s now my oyster,
    I’ll be a good roister,
    Just follow me in my great state!

  185. Sondra Landin says:

    Oops! I’m having some eye problems currently. Line 1 – hate, not hat.
    Sorry, and thanks for correcting!

    Hope you’re eyes are doing better soon!
    I just happened to spot it as it went up on my blog, which is how I managed
    to fix it before you had a chance to ask me to.


  186. Tim James says:

    Re-working a previously submitted limerick:

    “Legal reefer? The prospects aren’t great,”
    Said my neighbor, who just couldn’t wait.
    Wanting things to improve,
    He decided to move.
    Now he lives in a mellower state.

  187. Lisi Nortman says:

    In the 50’s my teacher was great.
    We learned facts about ev-er-y state.
    60 years have gone by,
    And I wonder just why
    I can’t recall all 48.

  188. Dave Johnson says:

    With the ad’s astronomical rate,
    You’d think all the facts would be straight.
    To the makers of Jeep,
    Here’s a thought you can keep:
    The U.P.’s a part of that state!

    (Jeep’s 2021 Super Bowl ad featuring Bruce Springsteen showed
    an outline of the U.S. that left out Michigan’s Upper Peninsula).

  189. Dave Johnson says:

    It’s been a long-standing debate;
    What is the most beautiful state?
    Attempts to beseech
    A respondent from each,
    One answered “In bed with my mate.”

  190. Rudy Landesman says:

    An Epic

    King Richard, we’ve learned from a source,
    Would trade his own crown for a horse.
    And I must relate
    That this head of state
    Had ulterior motives, of course.

    His co-worker, Richmond the Earl
    Suggested he just get a girl
    For conjugal pleasures
    And that he take measures
    To woo Lady Anne, a real pearl.

    But Shakespeare and I took great pain.
    Together we’ve worked to explain
    That the king was not bound
    To stop horsing around.
    He was not in a sound “give-in vein”. *

    So how does this sad tale now end?
    Your ear to our moral please lend.
    Show those horses the door,
    And zoophilia abhor.
    Together we’ll work on this, friend.

    Willie originally wrote “not in the giving vein”, but I overruled him.

  191. Tony Holmes says:

    “Oh, how English! A Spring garden fete.
    We’ll pretend we’re a country estate.
    We’ll have strawberries and cream,
    Chill champagne in the stream,
    And get Harry and Megan to wait.” (As on tables.)

  192. Lisi Nortman says:

    We decided to move far away,
    Where the deer and the antelope play.
    So we moved to a state
    That sure wasn’t great,
    Cuz the skies were real cloudy all day.

  193. madkane says:

    The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.

  194. Dave Johnson says:

    Our management team is the worst;
    Its “expertise” rarely dispersed.
    Their mission in life
    Is the stoking of strife;
    Though butt-smooching always comes first.

  195. Lisi Nortman says:

    On a whim, I decided to find
    A home where the folks were real kind.
    So I moved to a state
    Which just wasn’t my fate
    Cause Georgia was still on my mind.

  196. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Swanee River” (must be over 65 to swim there)

    It is time that I move far away,
    Where the sun will be shining all day.
    So I found me a state
    That’s my absolute fate!
    It’s the place where the real old folks stay.

  197. Mark Totterdell says:

    There was a young chemist called Bess
    Who, to her co-workers’ distress,
    Farted CO2, N,
    CH4, H, and then
    Finished off with some pure H2S.

  198. Clay Wild says:

    Real (Boy) Limerick

    Pinnochio’s gone – fatal contusion
    Bled to death – from his nasal protrusion
    Cause of death at his estate?
    FIB or LIE was the debate…
    He now ‘lies in state’ (of confusion…)

  199. Clay Wild says:

    As the Dog Show results were unfurled
    My co’s Rot ATE the champ, whose hair curled
    What a dastardly move
    But it just goes to prove
    That it’s still just a dog-eat-dog world!

    (Corrected version, please…)

  200. Clay Wild says:

    My co-actor Joe once made the news
    For missing lines and earning some boos
    And since his bladder was weak
    He was fired, so to apeak…
    For not minding his Pees and his Cues!

  201. Dave Johnson says:

    “Regarding this film, let me state:
    My goal was to showcase a trait
    That humans possess
    When they wish to express
    Their love – or just screwing a date.”

    (art film director in front of the committee)

  202. Clay Wild says:

    And yes, it’s Pinocchio – sorry…..

  203. Sue Dulley says:

    (Suez Crisis of 2021)

    I pity the captain in charge
    Of that paralyzed freighter or barge
    With a length that’s as great
    As the whole Empire State
    Building’s tall; eighty-eight feet too large.

  204. Mike Sullivan says:

    In Diana, I’d a ho indescribable
    Now my Maine Missouri’s is that I’m liable
    Because for fathering a state
    Mary landed half my estate
    Utah what it said in the Bible.

  205. Mike Sullivan says:

    In Diana, I’d a ho indescribable
    Now my Maine Missouri’s that I’m liable
    Because for fathering a state
    Mary landed half my estate
    Utah what it said in the Bible.

  206. Sharon Neeman says:

    Jason messed up a post from his phone
    And forgot that he wasn’t alone;
    He cursed till his date
    Was in such a bad state
    That she made him walk home on his own.

  207. Tony Holmes says:

    Marge strolls in every day around eight.
    Never once does Enrico berate.
    When I asked him, “Hey, Boss!
    Don’t you ever get cross?”
    He just smiled and said, ‘Hardly, of late.”

  208. Tony Holmes says:

    “There’s no cheating The Fates, that’s the rub.”
    So the pessimist says down the pub.
    But the optimist states,
    “One might trade with The Fates,
    If one finds them a suitable sub’.”

  209. Tony Holmes says:

    If you play fast and loose with The Bard,
    Like young Rudy, then be on your guard.
    You’ll be roused from your peace
    By the Shakespeare police,
    And, most likely, be feathered and tarred.

    Just kidding, Rudy. Just kidding.

  210. Tim James says:

    My grades and my test scores were great,
    But my dad didn’t tithe or donate
    To Yale, Harvard, or Brown.
    That whole lot turned me down,
    So I guess I’ll be going to State.

  211. Tom Vincent says:

    Topical entry:
    The new law from Georgia the state
    Brings back all our old racist hate.
    Give out voting rights
    To only rich whites?
    Let’s stop this before it’s too late!

  212. Dave Johnson says:

    Those folks on the 21st floor
    Decided to even the score.
    Their break room was bare;
    Chairs and tables not there.
    Now our bathroom stalls – nary a door.

  213. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Final Note

    Our people are in a sad state.
    This year, there will not be a plate
    Of maror, (bitter herbs)
    Which, in sorrow, disturbs
    The believers who say, “It was fate”

    Many people are in a sad state.
    And this year, will not eagerly wait
    To attend Sunday Mass
    The truth is, alas,
    The turnout will vastly abate.

  214. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 466. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Tax.

  215. Rudy Landesman says:

    The devil confided in me
    He really would like to be free
    To go to a show
    On Broadway, you know.
    A sheep in wolf’s clothing is he.