Limerick Toll (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was paying the toll…*


The pressure was taking its toll…*


A woman would often extol…*


A gal bought a tray made of tole….*


An oarsman had broken a thole…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Toll
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If stress has been taking its toll,
And I’m hard-pressed to rest, I might stroll,
Cuz a walk, even brief,
Can afford some relief.
Just don’t try to cajole me to bowl.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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56 Responses to “Limerick Toll (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Bob Dvorak says:

    The pressure was taking its toll;
    Life was rotten, when viewed as a whole.
    So Mark said, “I’m done.
    “Can’t adjust. It’s no fun.”
    Grabbed the matches and lit up a bowl.

  2. kaykuala says:

    The pressure was taking its toll
    But his confidence was in his drawl
    Took it in his stride
    With all impending pride
    Forgetting pride came before a fall


  3. Stephen Fleming says:

    In hopes of taking a toll
    On a devious internet troll
    His computer she crashed
    With a virus unabashed
    To diminish his treacherous role.

  4. Al Hood says:

    As a man was paying the toll
    The auto started to roll
    As he waited for change
    He was soon out of range
    So now he’s a pauper, poor soul.

  5. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman would often extol,
    Clean energy’s good for the soul.
    We must stop hydrofracking,
    Nuclear power’s sure lacking,
    And there is no such thing as clean coal

  6. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was paying the toll
    Said the MTA’s sure on the dole.
    Five bucks from Bronx to Manhattan!
    How did this happen?
    The politicians we all must cajole!

  7. John Sardo says:

    A woman would often extol
    Her boyfriend’s skill in a roll
    In the hay on a date.
    Oh, he’d make a great mate.
    With a sex drive he could not control.
    A woman would often extol
    Her mate who would lose self control
    He was great in the sack
    She’d exclaim “look at Mack.”
    He’s as big as a telephone pole.
    A fellow was paying a toll
    For a sex drive he could not control
    He lay in a state
    Of exhaustion so great
    His mate found no words to console.

  8. rbasler says:

    Some cookies from the House they call Toll
    I crammed down my gaping cake-hole
    Those semi-sweet bits
    Added pounds where I sits
    So now I don’t walk, I just roll

  9. Fred Bortz says:

    On Bikini, that distant atoll,
    The H-bomb created a hole,
    A giant contusion
    From nuclear fusion,
    A blot on humanity’s soul.

  10. Fred Bortz says:

    It’s named for Bikini Atoll,
    And in pageants it plays a clear role.
    I feel it’s my duty
    To admire female beauty
    And to vote in the pulchritude poll.

  11. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A sweet talking troll on a knoll Built a bridge over nothing a’toll Along came a lady It was Paul Ogrady Texting the world: this is L.O.L

  12. Fred Bortz says:

    Though Judith’s ideals some extol
    We’d be in an energy hole.
    Safe nukes and safe fracking
    This liberal’s backing
    Til solar and wind replace coal.

    We certainly need a high toll
    To decrease C O two on the whole.
    And strong regulation
    On nukes and frack-nation
    Can keep dangers under control.

    So what is it that I extol
    For a problem so hard to control?
    Rely on what’s factual
    Instead of what actual-
    ly spews from the mouths of each pol.

  13. Fred Bortz says:

    Wish I could edit here. Change “And vote” to “And to vote.” I need to read out loud before posting.

    (Note from Mad Kane: I fixed it for you.)

  14. Mark Kane says:

    I happily slowed for this toll.
    The cutie I greeted,Nicole,
    Was a hot, sassy lass,
    What you’d call: “Easy Pass,”
    Soon we hooked up for some “Cruise Control.”

  15. Mark Kane says:

    All those late nights I’m sure took their toll.
    And the drinking, and dance had their role
    In slowing me down.
    So I say with a frown,
    “OK jogging’s now more of a stroll.”

  16. colonialist says:

    A woman would often extol
    The virtues of taking a stroll
    In high heels and tights,
    Then she’d spend her nights
    In back seats, not hay, on a roll.

    The pressure was taking its toll
    For birdying on the third hole …
    He putted it there,
    But it shot in the air,
    And out of the hole popped a mole!

  17. Kirk Miller says:

    All my running is taking its toll
    On the bottom of feet, and my goal:
    Getting help so I’ll be
    Free from pain, but now the
    Sole supporter I have’s Dr. Scholl.

  18. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The golf course had taken its toll
    On a fellow whose lover was droll:
    “You missed every green
    And got drunk on nineteen.
    Now you’ve bogeyed the twentieth hole.”

  19. Fred Bortz says:

    “Although he did not pay the toll,
    Billy Goat One reached his goal.
    The same thing was true
    For goat number two,
    But the third was dehorned by the troll.”

    “That ain’t how the story is tole,”
    Grumped Grandpa Goat, showing a scroll.
    “Well that is just tough,
    Mr. Billy Goat Gruff.
    It’s my story, and I’m in control.”

    And thus did the author extol
    His prowess, for that was his goal.
    He turned with a sneer–
    An error I fear–
    Grandpa Goat redefined his Butt Hole.

  20. Jim Delaney says:

    How is Welfare imposing a toll?
    It discourages work for the dole;
    So despondent dependents
    Engender descendents
    Who bend to the role of the prole.

  21. Jon Gearhart says:

    The pressure is taking its toll
    As I sit in my wheelchair and mull
    Over meaning of life
    And struggle and strife
    But it won’t stop me–I’m on a roll!

  22. In my boyhood my momma done tol’
    Me, “Life offers much more’n Rock ‘n’ Roll.”
    She’d say, “Son, your father
    “And I would much rather
    “You took up Funk, Hip Hop or Soul.”

  23. Chris Papa says:

    With honeymoon taking its toll,
    New hubby tried wife to console,
    But she would complain,
    She was raw, in pain,
    And that too much was rough on the whole.

  24. John Armstrong says:

    Three billy goats avoided the toll
    When across an ogre’ s bridge they did stroll
    They treated him rough
    These billy goats named Gruff
    He now works in DC as a pol

  25. Jon Gearhart says:

    The pressure was taking it’s toll
    On electrical worker Matt Dole
    He’s burnt out and curses
    But you know watts worse is
    He conduit anymore, the poor soul

  26. grapeling says:

    the pressure was taking its toll
    on the ex-con out on parole
    the mark was too easy
    the ex-con too sleazy
    to escape a trip back to the hole

    a woman was heard to extol
    the hide from a seven-month foal
    that wretch quite uncivil
    was yes- Cruella deVille-
    branched out from the pelts of her role

  27. Jon Gearhart says:

    A young woman would often extol
    On the teachings of wisemen of ol’
    She recites from Confucius
    How “Those with dirty tushes
    Often smell worse than most, on the hole.”

  28. Jon Gearhart says:

    Just a word of advice I extol
    To young punks who like slinging their bull
    Bite your tongue and your lips
    Before foot in mouth slips
    And of yourself you become too full

  29. Jon Gearhart says:

    A young barmaid was carrying a tole
    Tray of ale in large mugs brimming full
    When she tripped, the tray flipped,
    The ale dripped, the gal slipped,
    Her bra ripped, and guys tipped plentiful!

  30. John Peter Larkin says:

    The pressure is taking its toll
    on the team in the Liberty Bowl.
    They were favored to win,
    but their chances are thin.
    Up to now, they’ve not scored a goal.

  31. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The Eurozone slump takes its toll
    With two million plus on the dole
    (On EastEnders, the “soash”—
    Endearing, if gauche!)
    I sidetracked! Lost sight of my goal …

    “soash” = social security

  32. Ailsa McKillop says:

    “Ain’t never heard tell o’ no ‘thole’ ”
    Said the boatsman, affront to his soul
    Putting oars in the rowlocks*
    Like Castor and Pollux
    Twin braces for rowing control.

    *Pronounced ROLL-uhx, “roll” rhyming with “doll”. I ignored promptings from my baser self to use a more robust Anglo-Saxon rhyme word!

  33. Craig says:

    OK, so I’m bending the rules on the target word AND using an imperfect rhyme – so, sue me.

    In a place called Bikini Atoll
    The swimsuits are terribly small.
    But although on Bikini
    The swimsuits are teeny,
    On Guam they wear nothin’ atoll.

  34. Craig says:

    For some lesser men, age takes it’s toll.
    They need help down by … ah … “the south pole”
    So to fix up their ills
    They take little blue pills
    That were shown on TV with Bob Dole.

  35. brian miller says:

    a fellow was paying the toll
    when up on the bridge jumped a troll
    took his pence
    but made up a fence
    said you need more if this way you roll

  36. Nara Malone says:

    The pressure was taking its toll
    to write word that would lift the soul
    words wouldn’t spill
    from her pen until
    she let go her perfectionist goal

  37. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman would often extol
    The advantage of Kleenex long roll
    It has extra strength
    And is double the length
    Exceedingly good on the whole.

  38. Jeep Walters says:

    An oarsman had broken a thole,
    and now his boat had no control,
    his feet getting wetter,
    he had hoped for much better,
    But, he found that his boat had a hole

  39. Linda Hofke says:

    A boy was paying a toll
    on a trip to the North Pole.
    Gave a penny a fling
    then asked Santa to bring
    his mother a new crystal bowl.

    Instead he got one made of tole
    that served as damage control.
    Santa said, “Do not fret.
    I think we can bet
    You manage to get it home whole.”

  40. Sue Dulley says:

    This switching “Tells bowl” for “bells toll”
    Is not a real pun, though it’s droll,
    But more of a spooner-
    ism (should have thought sooner!)
    More fun than a ray in the hole.

  41. Sue Dulley says:

    At King’s Cross they charged me a toll
    I’d to put exact change down a hole.
    If you really can’t wait,
    30p at the gate
    Lets you pee in their porcelain bowl.

  42. Sue Dulley says:

    There’s a craft that is called Paper Tole
    To pursue which was never my goal.
    Still I may have a go
    When I’m too old to sew
    If by then I’m not blind as a mole.

  43. Tim James says:

    “Tole”? “Thole”? Say WHAT?

    There are some things I just have to thole:
    When Mad’s rhyme words imbue me with dole.
    (To decode: I must bear
    Awful grief and despair.
    Pompous speech here’s my primary goal.)

  44. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now that Mother would always extol
    The joys of her brand new tole bowl
    “I just couldn’t wish
    For a nicer dog dish
    Which Fido has put down a hole”.

  45. Mark Kane says:

    With porn flicks there’s always a toll,
    A “Pay Off” to try for a role.
    But this young guy glides in,
    Scot-free, with a grin.
    It must be the size of his pole.

  46. Antoine Doinel says:

    If stress has been taking its toll,
    to get out from under is your goal,
    Don’t consider your wrists
    As how not to exist.
    A strong grip is your best self-control.

  47. Mark Kane says:

    His wife would often extol
    The length and the girth of his pole.
    But as a good baker,
    And giver, not taker,
    His goal was a nightly sweet roll.

  48. A woman would often extol,
    The virtue of not burning coal.
    She said, “It is charming,
    And it stems global warming.
    So keep that coal deep in its hole.”

  49. A woman would often extol,
    The virtues of old Rock and Roll.
    “Rock around…” by Bill Haley,
    Makes her weepy and wailey;
    Play Chuck Berry and she’s out of control.

  50. Dr. Goose says:

    Speculation is taking a toll
    Over who will be taking control
    Of the Fed in DC,
    Although he (if not she)
    Is probably at Jackson Hole.

  51. Dr. Goose says:

    The economy’s taking a toll,
    To judge by the most recent poll.
    Obama’s pizzazz is
    Less popular, as is
    The House, under hostile control.

  52. Dr. Goose says:

    The chimes in the belfry may toll
    For the passing of some poor old soul.
    They’re tolling for thee,
    For thy fate is beyond thy control.

  53. Dr. Goose says:

    The Koreans may put in a toll
    On the highway from Pyongyang to Seoul.
    If the south side you’re on,
    You could pay it in won;
    In the north you can barter with coal.

  54. Dr. Goose says:

    On the beach at Bikini Atoll
    They don’t like to see arms control.
    By longstanding treaty
    They stay in Tahiti
    Whenever we blast a new shoal.

  55. Dr. Goose says:

    This contest is taking a toll
    On my dignity and self-control.
    If I don’t win the prize,
    I’ll cry out my eyes
    And be very hard to console.

  56. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners:

    Limerick of the Week 128.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Lone Limerick.