Lone Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who needed a loan…*


A woman was working alone…*


A woman said, “Leave me alone!”…*


A fellow who offered a loan…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Lone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was feeling alone
Cuz her husband was glued to his phone
And was always plugged in
To his iPad and gin.
Seems their marital circuit was blown.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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121 Responses to “Lone Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. kaykuala says:

    A fellow who needed a loan…
    Searched frantically all alone
    Had some leads
    But not for keeps
    Could just render some big moans


  2. A maid was working alone
    When she was surprised by a man made of bone
    Out of the closet he strode
    Then walked down the road
    To the Rainbow Alliance’s home

  3. John Sardo says:

    A woman said “Leave me alone.”
    “I’m tired and worn to the bone.
    But after a nap
    I’ll sit in your lap
    And soon I’ll be making you moan.”

  4. John Sardo says:

    A woman was working alone
    On a project she was sure would dethrone
    The CEO of a corp
    At a speed 10 times warp
    He’d be thrown with no bone for the seeds he had sown.

  5. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman said leave me alone!
    Stop political surveys on the phone!
    I’ve had over twenty-
    That is way too many!
    Disturbing dinner I cannot condone!

  6. rbasler says:

    This Ranger who called himself Lone
    His new movie just made critics groan
    He told his friend, Tonto
    “We need revenge, pronto!
    “Let’s call in a strike by a drone!”

  7. rbasler says:

    A young girl named Molly Malone
    Would wander the streets, and she’d drone
    “I got cockles and mussels,
    “It’s one of my hustles
    “Alive, alive, oh’s overblown!”

  8. Mark Kane says:

    A woman in need of a loan,
    Agreed to have sex on the phone.
    The banker had money,
    For a husky voiced honey.
    His deal was: “One Thousand per Moan.”

  9. scott says:

    A woman was working alone,
    when hubby had let it be known,
    his libido was wore,
    and his wrist was too sore,
    she’d have to get there on her own.

  10. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A woman who needed a loan
    had the patience to sit on the phone
    till it laid golden eggs…
    the bankers frail begs
    We agree to your terms – we condone.

  11. Fred Bortz says:

    Zan or Zone?

    The chemist, with talent alone,
    Synthesized the world’s best cortisone,
    And his skill in the night:
    Courtesans’ sweet delight.
    That guy could sure make a hor-mone!

  12. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman who needed a loan
    Had eight children not even half-grown.
    To the banker she said,
    “I need twelve loaves of bread
    And must get my poor doggy a bone!”

  13. Jesse Levy says:

    A musician needed a loan
    of his friend’s brand new trombone
    When he broke the slide
    His friend had his hide
    “‘Tis a sin for which you must atone!”

  14. Craig says:

    “So when can I get you alone?”
    Said her butcher, who called on the phone.
    Seems he misunderstood
    When she asked if he could,
    With her meat order, give her a bone.

  15. Sallie McKenna says:

    A fellow who needed a loan
    hoped someone would throw him a bone,
    he was down on his luck
    and he needed a buck
    for his fetish, collecting cologne.

    A woman was working alone,
    on graveyard, enslaved as a drone,
    she broke out of her chains,
    launched successful campaigns.
    became wealthy, all on her own.

    A woman said “Leave me alone!”
    to her husband, who whined to be prone,
    “Don’t think I’m your play-toy,
    or that this is a coy-ploy,
    just please do forever postpone!”

  16. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A fellow who needed a loan
    His bank’s stony heart did bemoan.
    They said no. They were curt.
    To his plan—”a dead cert!”
    The door, very firmly, was shown.

  17. Ailsa McKillop says:

    At the Queen’s garden party, alone
    Stood a man who to joking was prone.
    But what made him chuckle
    Was too near the knuckle
    For guests there. (It lowered the tone.)

  18. Ailsa McKillop says:

    By her signature perfume alone
    One could tell she had sat on the throne
    The antimacassar
    Smelt of Kölnisches Wasser
    Or (more commonly) eau de Cologne.

  19. Ailsa McKillop says:

    By sitting quite still and alone
    In the midst of a party full-blown
    The mood you’ll disrupt
    In a way more abrupt
    Than if you were playing trombone.

  20. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A woman said, “Leave me alone!
    You seriously call that a stone?”
    Lest she grew colder
    Her swain dug a boulder
    From the gem mine (Sierra Leone)

  21. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Hilversum, Warsaw, Athlone …
    Far cities exotic just known
    From the wireless set’s band.
    One could dream of each land
    As the tuning dial moved through each zone.

  22. yt cai says:

    Lady Gaga is never alone
    Alter ego is so overblown
    Some say he is slick
    Still looks like a chick
    Cross dressing as Joe Calderone

  23. Mama Zen says:

    I love this one!

  24. Jon Gearhart says:

    A woman said, “Leave me alone!
    I don’t need a man or his bone.
    I’d prefer your sister.
    D’you care if I kister?”
    “I don’t, but her husband might frown.”

  25. Jon Gearhart says:


    A woman said, “Leave me alone!
    I don’t need a man or his bone.
    I’d prefer your sister.
    D’you care if I kister?”
    “I don’t, but her husband might, Joan.”

  26. Antoine Doinel says:

    A woman was feeling alone
    cause her husband to Pittsburg had blown.
    If I’d not busted balls
    then may well have forestalled
    need to get myself off on my own.

  27. Jon Gearhart says:

    This one fellow needed a loan
    To do what his broker had shown
    “If you raise the cash
    I double your stash
    In a flash, or stay broker alone.”

  28. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The cowboy snarled, “I work alone,
    So don’t taunt me, wiseass, on your roan!”
    Tonto grinned: the Lone Ranger
    Had a real rep for danger;
    ‘Twas then White Hat let out a groan.

    “I’ve got a big job coming due!
    Don’t know you, Braids, but you might do.
    Will you ride to the border?
    And follow my order?
    If so, we’ll part ways when it’s through.”

    …That’s how LR and Tonto got started
    And as far as we know, never parted.
    It’s an alt history
    Mixed with some mystery,
    Like many ’bout those now departed.

  29. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A worn out lecher living alone
    Had injections of Testosterone
    Prescribed by his Doc
    To stiffen his cock
    Hoping he could still make a hormone.

  30. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A horse breeder needed a loan
    A contract breach suit she’d been shown
    She said she’d been libelled
    For selling a piebald
    Which the buyer claimed was a blue roan

  31. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Some will rhyme “scone” with “alone”
    But “scone” said like “gone” is well known.
    A scone’s split, we spread butter
    We are split how we utter
    The name of this treat. I could groan!

  32. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    He murmured, I need a small loan
    To buy me a warm, filling scone.
    Can you spare just one buck?
    I’ve been down on my luck.
    …Stomach full now, but he’s still alone

  33. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    His Unc Stanley seemed ripe for a loan
    But approaching, was met with a groan:
    “Here comes Derrick again;
    Offered five, wheedled ten
    Thousand more!” Stan was heard to bemoan.

    But nephew persisted: “Dire straits,
    I must have it now!” his voice grates.
    Stan shakes his head faster
    At Derrick’s ‘disaster’:
    “Broke again? It’s the will of the Fates!”

  34. A woman was working alone,
    In a vineyard on the banks of the Rhone,
    Her beautiful vines,
    Grew in perfect straight lines,
    And her wine never garnered a moan.

    A woman lived all alone,
    In a nice part of old town Cologne,
    But this beautiful lady,
    Was really quite shady.
    Her aim was to lower the tone.

    An old woman wanted a loan,
    So she went a bank in Cologne
    She got all her dosh,
    Without using a cosh,
    That’s how a crone in Cologne got a loan.

  35. Jeep Walters says:

    A woman said, “Leave me alone!”,
    in quite the insolent tone,
    her suitor did leave
    with his heart on his sleeve,
    as the old crone continued to moan!

  36. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    In Eden sat Eve all alone
    Until Adam appeared with his bone
    And after he bit her apple
    They started to grapple
    And the seeds of life were then sown

  37. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    With Alzheimers your brain’s all alone
    But even though memories have flown
    It’s not as bad as they say
    For in the space of one day
    Many new friendships are sewn.

  38. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    If your mad when you wake up alone
    Finding money all gone with the crone
    You slept with last night
    Don’t get real uptight
    Just wank till your anger has flown.

  39. D. K. Janotta says:

    I vote for RBasler!

  40. Mark Kane says:

    She eagerly got him alone,
    And grinded away with him prone.
    But in a short while,
    He was spent, with a smile.
    She so wished he had come with a clone.

  41. Moaning Maid

    a woman lamented alone
    her king’s heart made of stone
    he left her to cry
    and eventually die
    so she haunted him from his throne

  42. D. K. Janotta says:

    A woman who felt all alone
    Spent all of her days on the phone
    Her service provider
    Sent her a reminder
    And now she’s in need of a loan.

  43. Charley Simmons says:

    The cowboy went out all alone
    To saddle “The Strawberry Roan”
    But, the horse bucked and kicked
    And would not be licked.
    He crawled back to his bunk with a groan.

  44. Fred Bortz says:

    If you go to a shark for a loan,
    Be prepared for the “vig,” as it’s known.
    One percent every day
    To keep “Vinnie” away
    And his minions with hearts made of stone.

  45. Antoine Doinel says:

    A fellow who needed a loan
    to self-publish a book of his poems.
    Had meter terrific,
    but rhymes hieroglyphic.
    Hence his verse was as blank as they come.

  46. Antoine Doinel says:

    A fellow who needed a loan
    sought to purchase a new mobile home.
    His professed aesthetic
    was peripatetic.
    Like a chick from the coop he had flown.

  47. Fred Bortz says:

    I went out for some sushi alone.
    Had some eel and, of course, abalone.
    Mispronounced? Yes I know it.
    But I am a poet.
    And my license allows for balone.

  48. Jon Gearhart says:

    What she said was, “You leave me alone!”
    What she MEANT was what he should have known
    But as is the case
    For the whole male race
    We do NOT know, as we’ve all clearly shown

  49. Jon Gearhart says:

    A fellow who needed a loan
    Could not raise the cash on his own
    I’m not saying he’s broke
    But his paycheck’s a joke
    He could use it to wipe on the throne

  50. Jon Gearhart says:

    “Do these pants make my butt fat alone?”
    “Not your pants, but you’re close, you old crone.
    Though the pants’ seat may swell
    Like the Liberty Bell,
    Your crack’s bigger, if the hole truth be known!”

  51. Jon Gearhart says:

    A woman said, “Leave me alone!”
    To a fellow who offered a loan.
    “I don’t need your money.
    I’ve got my own, honey.
    I made my own alone as a lone.”

  52. Fred Bortz says:

    The role was the actor’s alone,
    A character that he would own.
    He surely was cocky
    To create hero Rocky,
    Who greatly enriched Sly Stallone.

  53. Jon Gearhart says:

    A woman was reading alone
    “The Life’s Work of Plato”, by Dan Stone
    She was very confused
    By the spelling he used
    “Surely Play-Doh’s the spelling best known?”

  54. Heathcliff wanders the moors, all alone,
    Where the wind and the waters make moan;
    But what troubles him most
    Isn’t Catherine’s ghost:
    It’s the game that he plays on his phone.

    Victor Frankenstein dies in his bunk.
    His head hits the bed with a thunk.
    Outside, in the cold,
    Lurks a story untold
    (Captain Walton’s off tweeting his junk).

    The “Pequod” just drifts with the gale:
    Captain Ahab’s forgotten the whale,
    As the crew sings along
    With that Carly Rae song:
    “Here’s my number. So call me Ishmael.”

    “An die Freude” its climax is bringing
    When van Beethoven’s cellphone starts ringing.
    His novelty ringtone
    Just ruins the string tone
    And throws off the chorus’s singing.

    (It’s a sad situation, it’s true,
    But there’s nothing much more we can do
    To correct what’s gone wrong:
    We’ve ignored it so long,
    Now our culture’s ignoring us, too.)

  55. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    She, sultry, declared, “You’re on loan
    To Jennifer, Amy and Joan
    For this Saturday night:
    Honey, treat those gals right!”
    ‘Lucky’ Chuck staggered home with a groan

    And, wincing, he crawled into bed,
    Then carefully rested his head
    (Plus the one on his neck).
    He complained, “I’m a wreck!
    No one said they’d invited Big Ed

    Who showed up and oh, man, were we toasted;
    Things got going: I sang and he boasted.
    Your three friends got a treat,
    We kept time to the beat…
    We’re on YouTube: I checked, it was posted.”

  56. A woman lived all alone,
    In a beach house she christened “Ozone”,
    She once shouted “Shit”,
    At Angelina and Pitt,
    She does charity work to atone.

  57. (I thought I could live with an inexact rhyme. Turns out I can’t. Line 1 of stanza 4 of my entry up there should read, “‘An die Freude’ its climax is bringing” Otherwise I won’t get a decent night’s sleep.)

    Note from Mad Kane: I fixed it for you. So now you can nap. :)

  58. Cyn says:

    A man in a garden alone,
    when offered to trade in a bone
    for a suitable mate,
    replied, “That’d be great,
    but I’ll be better off on my own.”

  59. Cyn says:

    A man used to being alone
    procreated himself on his own.
    “‘Twas easy,” he stated,
    “I just masturbated
    and ejaculated a clone.”

  60. Tom Hale says:

    The queen bellowed, “Leave me alone!
    First, bring me my pipe of homegrown!”
    The Page said, “I can’t,
    Your highness, I shan’t
    Condone a stoned crone on a throne!”

  61. Cyn says:

    This limerick I wrote on my own
    gave up trying to rhyme to ‘alone.’
    “Who knows,” I’ll complain,
    “whether pleasure or pain,
    but I’ve heard one too many a ‘moan.’”

  62. Linda E.H. says:

    A women shouted, “Leave me alone!”
    in an very irritated tone.
    It frightened her niece
    who left her in peace
    to finish her job on the throne.

  63. Linda H. says:

    A porn star was working alone
    ’cause filming they couldn’t postpone.
    Her co-star had been canned
    so with sex toy in hand
    she played both the parts with a moan.

  64. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    I’m in “Limerick Comp”, not alone,
    Circumventing? Mad’s steely-eyed groan
    As she takes in each error;
    Is that weekend, the bearer
    Of wins: My grins trump my loud moan

    When I see my name’s not on her list.
    I assume I was brilliant but missed
    Being on the same wavelength,
    ESP’s not my main strength.
    Oh, there’s always next week for new grist :)

  65. Fred Bortz says:

    in honor of the Carnegie Tech Kiltie Band and their sometimes raunchy cheers:

    The bagpiper marches alone
    What he wears neath his kilt is unknown.
    But it kinnae be borin’,
    If you’re watchin’ his sporran,
    It rises and falls with his drone.

  66. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    This poet writes best when alone,
    She cackles and feels “in the zone”:
    She loves every word;
    Wants each line to be heard
    By others, she hopes, who won’t groan!

  67. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The Queenly Quipster

    Pronounced she, “Please leaf me alone
    In my garden!” Spouse lets out a moan:
    She’s punning again,
    Until who knows when!
    He knows once she picks up the phone

    And he hears her melodious tones
    Punctuated by shrieking and groans;
    It can be no other,
    She’s called her dear mother…
    Two hours at least!, he bemoans.

  68. Edmund Conti says:

    “I vant to be,” said she, “alone.”
    But you can’t be and have a smart phone.
    Whatever you vant
    You must know that you cahn’t
    Get away from that *%$#@ ringtone.

  69. Edmund Conti says:

    The trouble with sex all alone
    Is nobody can hear you moan
    You may do it well
    But there’s no one to tell
    If you’ve captured that exquisite tone.

  70. Fred Bortz says:

    Did a little editing:

    The bagpiper marches alone
    What he wears neath his kilt is unknown.
    But it kinnae be borin’:
    When watchin’ his sporran,
    It rises and falls with his drone.

  71. Tim James says:

    A woman who wanted a loan
    From a scoundrel was driven to groan:
    “He’s insisting I pay
    With a roll in the hay.
    So my ‘bargaining skills’ I must hone.”

    When this gal got the sleazeball alone
    (That’s the guy who so wished to get prone),
    She said, “Sorry, you’re hosed
    ‘Cause the hayloft is closed.
    If you want a roll, try Cinnabon.”

  72. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    He wanted his loan to be lone,
    Not linked by the bank to his phone
    And their cars and the house.
    To his spouse he did grouse:
    For our debts, we must both now atone.

    She retorted, “You earn more than me:
    Why should I share your penalty?”
    He snapped, “You spend more!
    And we’re headed straight for
    The poorhouse: just hand us the key.”

    Now it’s lunches from home each workday;
    Morning Starbucks no longer holds sway.
    They make do with much less,
    Re-examined “success”.
    The moral? Spend less than your pay.

  73. Cyn says:

    A sailor at last had outgrown
    a sweetheart’s name long proudly shown.
    “Thing is,” said he,”I’ve its
    tattoo on my privates.
    It’s not like it’s carved into stone.”

  74. Tim James says:

    A guy should have taken a loan
    Ere he took out a girl on his own.
    His full bill for their date
    Was a buck ninety-eight.
    But he *did* let her choose cup or cone.

  75. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    My guy’s very frugal: no loan!
    The mortgage alone, he’d intone.
    Fifteen years – it’s paid off;
    Wore I hat, it I’d doff
    To my spouse: how our savings have grown :)

  76. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    I’m aware Mad’s site’s only on “loan”,
    Like right now, when I can’t post! (big groan)
    Feeling oh, so deprived
    (Will you find I’ve survived?)
    I’ve adopted a petulant tone :(

  77. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A musician who lived all alone
    Tried playing an old xylophone
    With the knob of his dong
    But before very long
    He’d worn it right down to the bone.

  78. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    How I love all my “me time” alone!
    Online, reading…so much to be known
    While I cherish some people,
    The price can be steep – pull
    Your weight: TWO-way friendships have grown.

    I’m selective – be witty but kind;
    Many pleasures, shared treasures we’ll find.
    You play games? Try to use me?
    Hey, one chance to abuse me:
    You struck out. Please remove your (large) hind.

  79. Edmund Conti says:

    I was tired of being alone
    And decided I needed a clone
    So there is myself
    Up there on the shelf
    For onan and my very own.

  80. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    italics test

    Thanks, Mad!

  81. Edmund Conti says:

    Here I am sitting alone
    The king of the world on his throne
    There’s just one small issue
    I’m all out of tissue
    In this case, a sine qua non.

  82. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    He, 50, declaimed, “I’m alone!
    In a most whiney, querulous tone.
    A woman walked by,
    Looked him straight in the eye –
    “There’s a reason, as you’ve amply shown.”

  83. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Well, Edmund, you’re hardly alone;
    It’s a problem most of us have known.
    Socially, hands are “banned”;
    Clothing, towel? Take a stand!
    Fear to glance at the floor – me, I groan.

  84. Cyn says:

    A miss who yelled, “Leave me alone,”
    Wound up so completely unknown,
    She got left when her id
    Did exactly as bid,
    While her ego reaps seeds she has sown.

  85. Cyn says:

    An also-ran stood all alone
    how electors his stance might condone,
    but his campaign’s deceased
    over what got released
    of the evidence straight from his phone.

  86. Cyn says:

    I never felt quite so alone
    as when you said you were with Joan
    and Melissa and Sue.
    They got to hold you
    while I was left holding the phone.

  87. Cyn says:

    I tend to think better alone
    and prefer to solve things on my own.
    Even so, one can dream
    of how easy it’d seem
    if I were as smart as my phone.

  88. Cyn says:

    “I just as soon be left alone,”
    a Jersey miss said to her phone.
    “You may be a stud, son,
    your side of the Hudson,
    but you don’t swing enough for Bayonne.”

  89. Cyn says:

    Oh alright, if we must, then alone
    we’ll resolve things in Syria’s zone.
    If they’re going to use gas
    on their people en masse,
    al-Assad, meet a CIA drone.

  90. Cyn says:

    My limericks I edit alone,
    so meant “I’d” where “I” has been shown,
    in my one two before this
    so will add this one more kiss
    to leave well alone what I don’.

  91. Cyn says:

    At last thinking he’s now alone
    in a no-NSA-allowed zone,
    Mister Snowden’s secure,
    his privacy sure
    with Russia now watching his phone.

  92. Cyn says:

    A swank dude used so much cologne
    that it perfumed him through to the bone.
    You’ll find where he’s buried
    by the fragrances carried
    from the daisies now over him grown.

  93. Cyn says:

    What one might resort to alone,
    two don’t have to, each to her own
    while watching each other,
    but can do one another
    while preferably suitably prone.

  94. Cyn says:

    I’m thrilled to see I’m not alone
    sharing laughs in Mad Kane’s humor zone.
    I don’t care one iota
    if I’m over my quota—
    this blog is a vice I condone!

  95. Charley Simmons says:

    The lady said “leave me alone
    or I’ll put a kink in your bone”
    The creep laughed and persisted,
    so she grabbed hold and twisted.
    Now he walks with a moan and a groan.

  96. Cyn says:

    Designing my weblog alone
    would exhibit how little I’ve known
    about HTML,
    since I can’t seem to tell
    how in various browsers I’m shown.

    [with deepest gratitude to Mad, who knows the chrome this one was hammered out of]

  97. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    She swims in the river alone
    So that no one can hear her loud moan
    For she loves how it feels
    When one of the eels
    Finds her erogenous zone.

  98. Cyn says:

    This morning I woke up alone,
    sat all day simply watching the phone,
    somehow got myself fed,
    sent myself back to bed,
    said, “Tomorrow’s a day I’ll postpone.”

  99. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who needed a loan,
    Though his credit was bankruptcy-prone,
    Heard the manager say:
    “Ev’ry dog has his day,
    But we’re not gonna throw you a bone.”

  100. Dr. Goose says:

    A lady who wanted a loan
    Called the bank but then hung up the phone,
    As the bankers preferred
    A mortgage secured
    In Manhattan instead of Bayonne.

  101. Dr. Goose says:

    The actor Sylvester Stallone
    As Rocky will ever be known.
    In sequel on sequel,
    He’s always the equal
    Of punches and jabs that are thrown.

  102. Dr. Goose says:

    The explorer Cristóbal Colón,
    Who sailed with the aid of the throne,
    Put the New World through pains
    In declaring as Spain’s
    Possession this land for her own.

  103. Dr. Goose says:

    The US may go it alone
    Now that chemical weapons are known,
    For our policy brass
    Will risk a morass
    So as not to appear to condone.

  104. Dr. Goose says:

    It isn’t by rhyming alone
    That a limerick sets the right tone,
    But with humor risqué
    And a dash of wordplay
    To rate the occasional groan.

  105. Cyn says:

    Uncle Sam soon will ask for a loan
    to replace funds the government’s blown.
    Democrats say, “OK,” though
    Republicans, “No!!”
    We the people the shaft will be shown.

  106. Cyn says:

    A dude acting as if alone
    on the highway is now lying prone
    on a hospital bed
    lucky not to be dead
    after driving while texting his phone.

  107. Kirk Miller says:

    After punning, I’m left all alone
    ‘Cause I make people grimace and moan.
    If you think they’re bad now,
    Then imagine just how
    Bad they’ll be when my puns are full groan.

  108. To a brothel he goes, all alone,
    In the city’s most dangerous zone;
    He’s disguised as a john
    For a story he’s on,
    But he’s hoping his cover gets blown.

  109. Lynn Heyns says:

    A woman said, “Leave me alone!
    I do not like your rudeness or tone.
    I’m not taking your shit!
    Oh, you think I won’t do it?”
    Click. Yep, I just hung up the phone.

  110. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The winner? Mad Kane knows, alone;
    My limerick skills I might hone.
    They have piss-azz? or zing?
    A most subjective thing:
    Hubby runs, while Mom praises I’ve grown…

    Faint and weak from a lack of nutrition.
    Must need coffee and more ammunition.
    My next subject will be —
    Take a breath, count to three:
    Brain freeze, ARGH! (Here’s my umpteenth submission.)

  111. Cyn says:

    Since his injury, Bob sings alone
    edging off from his group’s microphone.
    With the other guys’ throats
    he now hits the high notes,
    though he used to sing low baritone.

  112. Edmund Conti says:

    I’m painfully here all alone
    And trying to pass this darned stone.
    It’s not as much fun
    As a really bad pun
    But (ooooh!) it can sure make you groan.

  113. Cyn says:

    I write mine for writing alone,
    not for prize or position to own,
    so here’s hoping that Mad
    sticks the ones I have had
    in a place where the sun hasn’t shone.

  114. Cyn says:

    On his own bread man can’t live alone,
    but goes far if the bread’s not his own.
    “Beg, borrow or steal,
    bread’s only for real,”
    says the tempter, “is bread sold as stone.”

  115. Cyn says:

    It’s time to leave this prompt alone
    with drone-thrown moan on a flown groan.
    I’ll try not to screw it
    up next time I do it.
    (This feels like I just passed a stone.)

  116. A fellow was working alone
    while bosses discussed over scones
    freezing all pay rates
    till TBA dates
    and firing him for temp drones.

  117. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners:
    Limerick of the Week 129.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: A Limerick Indeed.

  118. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A woman who lives all alone
    Tips the scales at twenty one stone
    Her last weigh in failed
    When the talking scales wailed
    “Get off!, Use the weighbridge you crone”

  119. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Ah, I see that I’m far from alone
    In my time as a limerick “drone”.
    These are fun, as you know;
    I love being in flow :)
    You may groan, but through Mad I have grown.

  120. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    We both missed the boat Patrice

  121. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Yes, and the train too, Radnoft!