Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 4, 2020)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOW, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best snow-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 5, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 4, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my VEER-rhyme limerick:

When you’re driving your car, please don’t veer;
Sudden moves tend to fill me with fear.
Steer carefully, please.
Ouch my elbow! My knees!
We’ve arrived? I’m still living? Hear, hear!

And here’s my SNOW-themed limerick:

The weatherman’s acting excited:
New York City’s about to be smited
With a snow storm real big,
Which I really don’t dig.
And just why must he look so delighted?

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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230 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 4, 2020)”

  1. Roger Haugen says:

    That the world has come to revere
    The Shakespearean canon is clear;
    But skeptics will say
    Each sonnet and play
    Was written by Edward de Vere.

  2. Mike Youing says:

    Recent news of a Brit Royal Peer
    Has reported his actions severe
    He’s known as the Duke
    Who makes us all puke
    So we just can no longer revere.

  3. Mike Youing says:

    Sorry!! last line has an extra “s” in just which I didn’t notice.

    **

    Fixed

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    (Double)

    “Them scientists? Listen up, folks –
    They’re eggheads who don’t have no yolks.
    The cold is severe
    And it’s snowing right here,
    Which proves global warming’s a hoax.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    “2020 will be a great year!
    All believers just gotta revere
    The one God has selected
    To get re-elected –
    The rest are blasphemers, it’s clear.”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    On a break from his “Ho, ho, ho, ho” job,
    Santa asked a cute elf for a blow job.
    But he screamed with the shock –
    Freezing snow on his cock!
    “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘snow job’.”

  7. Lisi Nortman says:

    The truth about dumb Paul Revere
    Was at midnight he drank too much beer
    He sold that old horse
    And then got a divorce
    This guy was just no pioneer

  8. With a leader whose mood’s so severe,
    You may feel the end’s drawing near.
    ‘Stead of worryin away yer fun
    Aggravatin’ on man or his son,
    ‘Tis better to have one more beer.

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sweet Mama I sure did revere
    One day she say, “Boy, listen here:
    You must always obey
    And do as I say
    Or else you’ll get smacked in the rear”

  10. Lisi Nortman says:

    My mom said to dad, “I just know
    That you’ll get rid of all of this snow!
    I’m so glad that you’re strong
    Now hurry along
    Get your coat and your boots and go blow”

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    To escape from the cold and the snow!
    Take a break from political woe!
    Find a tropical place
    Climate change will displace.
    Dream of happier times long ago.

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    After snow, messy slush and black ice.
    It’s not quite a frosty paradise.
    It was slippery, alas,
    I landed flat on my ass.
    A winter without snow would be nice.

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    John appeared in his black judge’s robe
    The snowman he then had to “probe”
    Since “guilt” was his plea
    His torture would be
    A life sentence stuck in a globe

  14. Daisy Ward says:

    The young man’s acne was severe
    Washed his face with a can of draft beer
    The beer was so strong
    His face stretched long
    Then turns into porcelain lanear

  15. Daisy Ward says:

    The snow fell lightly on the ground
    Suddenly, it disrupted the town
    The cars slipped and slide
    People fell to one side
    They barked like a pack of blood hounds

  16. Tanja Cilia says:

    If you’re striving for fame, persevere;
    If you aim to ride horses, Revere.
    If from justice you veer,
    The due payment is dear:
    For the penalty’s very severe.

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    The stress that I feel is severe,
    I just know that this is quite clear-
    We’re rotting from within;
    The Dems had better win,
    Or things will be worse than we fear.

  18. Tim James says:

    Said the poet, “My limericks veer
    Towards the nasty and smutty, I fear.”
    Upon saying this, he
    Grinned lasciviously.
    That’s the reason he’s called Edward Leer.

  19. Tim Gray says:

    First pick a career you revere,
    Then with your studies persevere.
    Being true to your soul
    Keep your eye on the goal
    Or else, from your track, you will veer.

    Slightly changed:-

    First pick a career you revere,
    Then with your studies persevere.
    Being true to your goal
    Dig deep in your soul,
    Or else, from your track, you will veer.

  20. Tim Gray says:

    I’m lucky, my skin is clear
    But Johnny’s acne’s severe.
    What he doesn’t know
    Is that my menstrual flow
    Would cause him more than a tear.

  21. Tim Gray says:

    The wind was Oh-So severe
    That off our track we would veer,
    But we continued to sail;
    In the face of that gale…
    If we hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here.

  22. Tony Holmes says:

    When, in times of great hardship, you veer
    From the course that true virtue would steer,
    Be assured that your end
    Will be nasty, my friend;
    But that’s life, I’m afraid. Hope that’s clear.

  23. Tony Holmes says:

    Falling snow brings that palpable hush,
    Which is lost when it all turns to slush.
    The Inuit, you know,
    Are the experts on snow
    But they’re never on hand when you brush.

  24. Tony Holmes says:

    The first of many, no doubt. (Revisions, that is.)

    Falling snow brings that palpable hush,
    Which is lost when it all turns to slush.
    The Inuit, you know,
    Are the experts on snow
    But they’re never on hand with a brush.

  25. Val Fish says:

    I’ve tried and I’ve failed every year
    But this time I will persevere
    And January will be
    A dry one for me;
    First of Feb it’s back on the beer!

  26. Tony Holmes says:

    If you’re wanting a word about snow
    Then the Arctic is where you should go.
    ‘Pirta, kaneq, ganuk;
    Ganikcaq, nutaryuk’;
    ‘Course, it helps if you speak Eskimo.

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    20 inches of snow! (I’m berserk!)
    Thought my new Jeep would run, (What a jerk!)
    Then the boss calls me up
    And says, “Hey what’s up?”
    I assume you’re still comin’ to work?”

  28. Sharon Neeman says:

    Everything has a season — take snow:
    In December, a flurry or so;
    By midwinter, the blizzards
    Will shiver your gizzards;
    In April, you’ll see it will go.

    What’s my moral? It’s really quite clear:
    Be of courage; fear not; persevere!
    Though impeachment’s in doubt,
    T. Rump’s time should run out
    Next November — just under a year.

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    They had sex in the snow (a disgrace!)
    Both their plans had been put into place!
    Then they started to run
    Cuz it seemed that each one
    Had a stiff frozen grin on the face

  30. Tony Holmes says:

    “I’m approaching with caution, my spear
    At the ready. My quarry, I fear,
    Is aware of the threat.
    Is she jumpy? You bet!
    To the brave goes the booty. Don’t veer!”

  31. Ken Gosse says:

    Revere is used as an internal rhyme, so it bends the rules, but it’s fun anyway:
    A Waker’s Dozen ~
    The great Paul Revere had no fear
    On his rides warning both far and near.
    Oft’ threatened with jail
    Because of his wail,
    The twelfth time the Brits would appear!

  32. Jesse Levy says:

    Snow piles up in big banks
    You can’t drive the streets without tanks
    So quickly – no dally
    I moved out to Cali
    When it comes to that white stuff, no thanks!

  33. Jean McEwen says:

    Don’t be snowed! Does it not seem suspicious
    When Kellogg’s proclaims they’re “nutritious”?
    Frosted Flakes just won’t fuel
    You like mom’s oatmeal gruel.
    (Though they taste, I’ll admit, more delicious….)

  34. Jean McEwen says:

    In my limericks, often, I’ll veer
    From one line to the next, making sheer
    Nonsense verse—which, though terse,
    Gets more dopey and worse
    By the line. (I am no Edward Lear.)

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    Snow and Severe

    Our marriage is facing its doom
    There is no way that we can resume
    But the snow storm’s severe
    It just won’t disappear
    So we’re stuck in a white padded room

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    Another Snow and Severe

    The wife and me ain’t doin’ well
    I’m ready to leave and rebel
    But the snow storm’s severe
    It just won’t disappear
    So we’re stuck in a white padded cell

  37. Roger Haugen says:

    Here we sit, hip-deep in snow;
    When will this harsh Winter go?
    I have faith and hope,
    Or am I a dope
    To wait patiently for Godot?

  38. Mike Young says:

    The South African coast has no snow
    So to boggan inland you must go.
    In a badly blocked lane
    It can be quite a pain
    With a very full trailer in tow.

  39. Tony Holmes says:

    “I’m approaching with caution, my spear
    At the ready. My quarry, I fear,
    Is aware of the threat.
    Is she jumpy? You bet!
    But the payoff is sweet – persevere!”

  40. Tony Holmes says:

    A Variation …

    “I’m approaching with caution, my spear
    At the ready. My quarry, I fear,
    Will pretend to the end
    My attentions offend,
    Afore switching from scorn to revere.”

  41. Tony Holmes says:

    “I approach my beloved sur knees –
    I’m obliged to cajole and appease.
    She’s at pains to make clear
    That a dearth most severe
    Will ensue if I fail to say, ‘Please!’”

  42. Tim James says:

    I heard Frosty the Snowman assert
    He was tough and he couldn’t be hurt.
    When I kicked him “down there”
    His loud scream rent the air.
    Who says snowballs are hard and inert?

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    Our glorious pastor will veer
    Away from reflections of fear
    Like any great preacher
    Each sermon will feature
    The words that God wants you to hear

  44. Tim Gray says:

    Is he the best man for the job,
    He who lies when he opens his gob?
    All his glitter and show
    Has the substance snow
    And to boot, he’s also a yob.

  45. Tony Holmes says:

    In the land where it’s forty below,
    Where the polar bear roams, floe to floe,
    Do not stray from your base,
    Don’t uncover your face,
    And above all, don’t eat yellow snow!

  46. Tony Holmes says:

    In the land where it’s forty below,
    Where the polar bear roams, floe to floe,
    Do not stray from your base,
    Don’t uncover your face,
    And, if tempted, don’t eat yellow snow!

  47. Tony Holmes says:

    ‘When the going gets tough, persevere!’
    ‘The rewards go to daring, not fear!’
    But I find I’m content,
    To kick back and relent,
    With a big box of chocs and a beer.

  48. Tony Holmes says:

    I have no idea where this came from; I barely knew my father and he never said a word about grades or careers.

    From the womb we are taught to adhere
    To a path that will lead to career.
    Not for us the disgrace
    Of poor grades, the shamed face,
    And a dad’s disappointment severe.

  49. Sharon Neeman says:

    The nonbinary “they,” so I hear,
    Is M.-Webster’s new Word of the Year.
    You don’t have to be trans
    Of this word to be fans;
    I (cis) say it’s a choice to revere!

    Merriam-Webster Singles Out Nonbinary ‘They’ For Word Of The Year Honors

  50. Sharon Neeman says:

    “Like a white blanket after a storm”
    Shows the writer’s in very poor form.
    Ogden Nash would agree:
    Snow for you, quilt for me,
    And we’ll soon see which one will stay warm!

  51. Sharon Neeman says:

    Past the shop I intended to steer,
    But I didn’t quite manage to veer;
    With chocolates and candy
    And whisky and brandy,
    I’m home for the holidays, dear!

  52. Lisi Nortman says:

    No Thanks To Sammy Cahn And Jule Styne!

    The weather is 20 below
    And I’m mad at my new boyfriend Joe
    It’s the end of our fling
    Cuz I told him “DON’T SING!”
    “Let It Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow”

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    This could be either one or two separate limericks

    Our wonderful Rabbi will veer
    Away from reflections of fear
    For a man who’s so wise
    It is not a surprise
    That he speaks words that God wants to hear

    Our glorious Pastor will veer
    Away from reflections of fear
    Like any good preacher
    His sermons will feature
    The words that our God wants to hear

  54. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hallelujah! I’m going to cheer!
    Two pounds I have lost in one year!
    I wish it were more
    Maybe three? Maybe four?
    I’m still trying. I must persevere!

  55. Val Fish says:

    We should be landing in sunny Spain
    But I’ve let everyone down again
    I must persevere
    Overcome my fear
    And one day I will get on that plane

  56. Tim Gray says:

    Hi Mad,

    I discovered I had left out the “of” in the second to last line in December 10, 2019 at 8:30 pm offering. Should be …substance of snow

    Cheers
    Tim

  57. Kirk Miller says:

    I have been a bad boy, Santa dear,
    But I need to be perfectly clear.
    Being good is okay;
    When I’m bad, the gals say
    What I do is a thing they revere.

  58. Tony Holmes says:

    “I’m approaching with caution, my spear
    At the ready. My quarry, I fear,
    Is aware of the threat,
    But my appetite’s whet,
    And my prize is in sight – persevere!”

  59. Tony Holmes says:

    We recoil from the sharp and severe,
    Whereas softness and kindness endear.
    Wear a smile, to disguise,
    When you wish to chastise,
    Then deliver your kick in the rear.

  60. Tony Holmes says:

    Better, I think.

    Whereas softness and kindness endear,
    We recoil from the sharp and severe.
    Wear a smile, to disguise,
    When you wish to chastise,
    Then deliver your kick up the rear.

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mr. Snowman was ordered to stay
    In the hospital, there he did lay
    His wife didn’t cry
    Cuz she knew he would die
    In peace and just dwindle away

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: line 3
    Could you please change Mrs Frost didn’t cry to: His wife didn’t cry

    Thank You,
    Lisi

    ********

    Done.

  63. Lisi Nortman says:

    Fixing rhyming error from Dec. 9, 10:04 AM

    20 inches of snow, (I’m berserk!)
    Thought my new car would run, (I’m a jerk!)
    Then I say, “Go to hell”
    When my boss calls my cell
    And then asks, “You still comin’ to work?”

  64. Dave Johnson says:

    It’s snowing again – what a treat;
    Then melts in the afternoon heat.
    And day after day,
    It’s always this way;
    This dreamworld of mine can’t be beat!

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    acrostic

    S ue loved to go out and just shop
    L eapt out of her car and then FLOP!
    I n ice she did land
    P ushed the snow with each hand
    S he then crawled to Macy’s nonstop

  66. Lisi Nortman says:

    This might flow better: ? line 5

    S ue loved to go out and just shop
    L eapt out of her car, and then FLOP!
    I n ice she did land
    P ushed the snow with each hand
    S he crawled “all way” to Macy’s nonstop

  67. Val Fish says:

    The one person I used to revere?
    My dear dad, sadly no longer here
    At my window today
    A robin popped by to say
    Merry Christmas, your father is near

  68. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    In the Snowman v. Cottontail case,
    crisp evidence led to disgrace;
    Mr. Snowman’s bad habits
    of stealing from rabbits
    was as plain as the nose on his face.

  69. Tim Gray says:

    When I was young we made snowmen
    With noses surpassed by no men
    Now as the genders are equal
    An apt fitting sequel
    Is have all the kids making snwomen*

    *Deliberate misspelling

  70. Tim Gray says:

    What’s this ridiculous thing that I hear
    Greta’s Time’s “Person” this year?
    All of White House agree
    It should have really been me…
    Now more Climate Change talk I fear.

  71. Tim Gray says:

    Slight alteration to the above adding “do” to the last line.

    What’s this ridiculous thing that I hear
    Greta’s Time’s “Person” this year?
    All of White House agree
    It should have really been me…
    Now more Climate Change talk I do fear.

  72. Lisi Nortman says:

    The snow storm was well on its way
    In December was sure here to stay
    It was truly bizarre
    Fine’ly found our new car
    In the sunshiny sweet month of May

  73. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Snow fam’ly has a cool daughter
    Last week to the graveyard they brought’er
    The stone was real neat
    It said, “Old Man Sleet
    Is Now Known As “Great Grandpa Water”

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    another version of “Mr. Snowman” (from December 12th)

    The snowman was ordered to stay
    In the hospital, there he did lay
    His wife didn’t cry
    Cause she knew he would die
    In peace as he melted away

  75. Dave Johnson says:

    When someone declares “Let it snow!”
    I’m willing to bet they don’t know
    What it’s like to reside
    With three shovels beside
    A roof rake that’s ready to go.

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    a variation

    Hallelujah! I’m going to cheer
    I’ve lost half a pound in one year!
    I am surely not done
    Cuz I’m aiming for one
    It was worth it to just persevere

  77. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Alone in his garret all year,
    Van Gogh from his canvas might veer
    to his one lonely chair
    where he’d say to the air,
    “Is there no one who’ll lend me an ear?”

  78. Dave Johnson says:

    For Greta Thunberg:

    We now get to smile and revere
    A hero of grace and good cheer.
    She bent an attack
    To skewer him back;
    Dismissing a Trumpian sneer.

  79. Dave Johnson says:

    When Boston got all that snow a few years back:

    In Boston, you can’t drive your caah,
    Or ride on the “T” very faah.
    With eight feet of snow,
    There’s no place to go;
    Not even your favorite baah.

  80. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If a cop on your rear should unnerve
    You, then carefully steer and not swerve.
    So just try not to veer
    Out of panic and fear
    Unless hitting a deer ’round the curve.

  81. Suzanne Heymann says:

    With the crap which we’ve all had to hear,
    All the damage he’s done is severe
    We just cringe in disgust
    As we lose the world’s trust
    Oh, I wish he would just disappear!

  82. Suzanne Heymann says:

    It’s sometimes too hard to revere
    A priest who administers fear.
    He’s almost controlled
    All the sheep – the blind fold
    Who believe he’s their shepherd so dear.

  83. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A thief in my house did appear
    Self-defense made me kill him – oh dear!
    Hide the body, hide fear
    And make dog food all year.
    Persevere! Persevere! Persevere!

  84. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If a blizzard enshrouds your chateau
    And you’re stuck, so there’s nowhere to go,
    Let the fireplace glow,
    Have some wine with your beau
    And then sing, “Let it snow! Let it snow!”

  85. Suzanne Heymann says:

    When I built a snowwoman and snowman,
    The kids gathered ’round and said, “Woe, man!”
    The mums and wives buzz
    And complain; that’s because
    All the fathers and husbands said, “Go man!”

  86. Tony Holmes says:

    Heavy snow needn’t seem so severe
    When you’re stranded at home with no beer.
    You’ve a roaring log fire,
    Boundless mutual desire;
    Cause enough, don’t you think, for good cheer?

  87. Tony Holmes says:

    We seem to be in sync, Suzanne. At least as far as the best course of action to be taken when snowed in. LOL

  88. Tony Holmes says:

    If I built me a snowman, each part
    Would be larger than life, for a start.
    No doubt some would say, “Hey!
    Why’d you build it that way?”
    I don’t have to explain it – it’s art.

  89. Tony Holmes says:

    It’s more betterer.

    “If I built me a snowman, each part
    Would be larger than life, for a start.
    No doubt some would say, ‘Hey!
    Why’d you build it that way?’
    Explanation’s redundant – it’s art!”

  90. Tony Holmes says:

    I’ve just noticed, it’s always snow – MAN!
    I’m surprised that, these days, there’s no ban.
    Let’s have Snow-Girls, Trans-Gen’ –
    And a few lady men –
    And embrace the full range now we can.

  91. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new snow shovel’s sure lots of fun
    No more worries ’bout when I’ll be done
    It’s got a cool grip
    And a real snazzy clip
    For a cell phone to call 911

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    A lie Mr. Snowman had told ‘er
    Miss Snow Woman said he can’t hold’er
    They had a bad spat
    And not only that
    She gave him that really cold shoulder

  93. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m known as “The Great Senior Sage”
    I’ve invented the “High Tech Snow Gauge”
    It’s sure kinda’ cute
    Cuz it goes “toot toot toot”
    When the temperature’s more than my age

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: I neglected to put in the word “The” in line 2
    It’s suppose to read: I’ve invented “The High Tech Snow Gauge”
    Could you please fix it for me?
    Thank You,
    Lisi

    *******
    Done.

  95. Tony Holmes says:

    I’ve just noticed, it’s always snow – MAN!
    I’m surprised that, these days, there’s no ban.
    Let’s have Snow-Girls, Trans-Gen’ –
    And a few lady men –
    And embrace the full range since we can.

    Dear old Frosty may rant, scream and pout,
    But, with patience, and time, I’ve no doubt,
    He’ll come ‘round and will see,
    Times have changed, so must we,
    And who knows, he might even come out.

  96. Tony Holmes says:

    I’ve just noticed, it’s always snow – MAN!
    I’m surprised that, these days, there’s no ban.
    Let’s have Snow-Girls, Trans-Gen’ –
    And a few lady men –
    And embrace the full range since we can.

    Dear old Frosty may rant, scream and pout,
    But, with patience, and time, I’ve no doubt,
    He’ll come ‘round and will see,
    Times have changed, so must we,
    And who knows, he might even come out.

    When old Frosty’s had time to reflect,
    He will see there’s no cause to object.
    If he will but embrace
    The entire snowkind race
    With some luck he might even connect.

  97. Tony Holmes says:

    Sorry. I do think it’s better.

    I’ve just noticed, it’s always snow – MAN!
    I’m surprised that, these days, there’s no ban.
    Let’s have Snow-Girls, Trans-Gen’ –
    And a few lady men –
    And embrace the full range since we can.

    Dear old Frosty may rant, scream and pout,
    But, with patience, and time, I’ve no doubt,
    He’ll come ‘round and will see,
    Times have changed, so must we,
    And who knows, he might even come out.

    When old Frosty’s had time to reflect,
    He will see there’s no cause to object.
    If he will but embrace
    The entire snowkind race,
    There’s a chance he might even connect.

  98. Tony Holmes says:

    “Well, I’m blessed!” said the snowman. “That’s queer.
    I’d have sworn, under oath, they were here.”
    ‘I don’t wish to decry,’
    Said the cop, with a sigh,
    ‘But since when ain’t a snowman a steer?’

  99. Lisi Nortman says:

    acrostic STORM

    S everal people are stuck in the snow
    T omorrow’s the big Broadway show!
    O h what if they trip?
    R ight then break a hip?
    ( M iami’s the place they should go!)

  100. Lisi Nortman says:

    acrostic STORM (“Submit Comment” was giving me trouble)

    S everal people are stuck in the snow
    T omorrow’s the big Broadway show!
    O h what if they trip?
    R ight then break a hip?
    ( M iami’s the place they should go!)

  101. Lisi Nortman says:

    a slight twist on “Severe and Snow” (L5)

    Our marriage is facing its doom
    There is no way that we can resume
    But the snow storm’s severe
    It just won’t disappear
    So we’re stuck in a white rubber room

  102. Tony Holmes says:

    Snow and ice may disrupt, so they say.
    Ask ‘Titanic’. They get in the way!
    Does no good to complain,
    Incur Nature’s disdain.
    So why fight it? Just come out to play.

  103. Tony Holmes says:

    Snow and ice may disrupt, so they say.
    Ask ‘Titanic’. They get in the way!
    Will it help to complain?
    Incur Nature’s disdain?
    So why fight it? Just come out to play.

  104. Tony Holmes says:

    Weathermen can’t be trusted per se;
    Their predictions go too oft astray.
    If they say, “Rain’s remote,”
    Take hat, brolly and coat,
    And if sleet, stay at home for the day.

    ‘Brolly’ is Brit’ Slang for Umbrella – just in case you weren’t familiar with the term.

  105. Tony Holmes says:

    Politicians and weathermen sin!
    They can lie through their teeth and still grin.
    They will tell us ‘Black’s white,’
    “There’ll be no snow tonight,”
    And whatever the outcome, they’ll spin.

  106. Tony Holmes says:

    Politicians and weathermen sin!
    They can lie through their teeth and still grin.
    They will tell us ‘Black’s white,’
    “There’ll be no snow tonight,”
    And whatever the outcome, they’ll spin.

    Weathermen can’t be trusted per se;
    Their predictions go too oft astray.
    If they say, “Rain’s remote,”
    Take hat, brolly and coat,
    And if sleet, stay at home for the day.

    Weathergirls aren’t immune from this curse.
    They disrupt our entire universe.
    It’s the halo effect,
    We believe they’re correct,
    When in fact, because lovely, they’re worse.

  107. Tony Holmes says:

    Iron skies give us warning, you know,
    When there’s imminent danger of snow.
    Make the most; mull some wine;
    Share a hot-tub – divine!
    And then bask in the warm afterglow.

  108. Tony Holmes says:

    Were you Snow White, like Mae, in your youth?
    But then drifted – come on, tell the truth!
    Did you find that, ‘beguile’
    Was so much more your style,
    And that naughty was nicer, forsooth?

  109. Tony Holmes says:

    Iron skies give us warning of snow,
    And it’s handy to be in the know.
    Make the most; mull some wine;
    Share a hot-tub – divine!
    And then bask in the warm afterglow.

    Definitely better.

  110. Tony Holmes says:

    Politicians and weathermen sin!
    They can lie through their teeth and still grin.
    They will tell us ‘Black’s white,’
    “There’ll be no snow tonight,”
    And whatever the outcome, they’ll spin.

    Weathermen can’t be trusted per se;
    Their predictions go too oft astray.
    If they say, “Rain’s remote,”
    Take hat, brolly and coat,
    And if sleet, stay at home for the day.

    Weathergirls aren’t immune from this curse.
    They disrupt our entire universe.
    It’s the halo effect;
    We aren’t prone to suspect
    That in fact, because lovely, they’re worse.

    ‘We aren’t prone to suspect’ is also an improvement, I think.

  111. Tony Holmes says:

    When the going gets tough, persevere!
    Don’t surrender too soon, or to fear.
    Don’t allow life to vex,
    Get your fair share sex,
    And above all, drink plenty of beer!

  112. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh, why did we have such a spat?
    I want to make up with “My Matt”
    But he’s caught in the snow
    And I really don’t know
    If it’s him. All I see is a hat

  113. Tony Holmes says:

    “When the going gets tough, persevere!
    Don’t surrender too soon, or to fear.
    Don’t allow life to vex,
    Get your fair share sex,
    And above all, drink plenty of beer!”

    Oh, it’s all well and good for the tough!
    They don’t mind when the going gets rough.
    When the going’s severe,
    They say, “Get outta here!”
    With your limp-wristed, “’nough is enough.”

    It’s all right for the tough, they don’t mind.
    In their eyes it is cruel to be kind.
    They renounce comfy beds,
    To make flint arrowheads;
    I was into it once but resigned.

  114. The vote to impeach Trup is near
    but Forty-Five will never veer
    away from his course
    on the GOP horse
    he’ll feed on to persevere.

  115. There’s not enough inches of snow,
    so off to our jobs we must go.
    If it’s gonna come down,
    let me just stick around
    and dish twenty more feet of snow.

  116. Tim Gray says:

    It seems that Congressman Drew
    With his constituents will screw.
    Obviously what we have here
    Is deceit quite severe,
    A liar and a cheat through and through.

  117. Dave Johnson says:

    Thanks for the reminder Tony H.

    Snow White wore a billowy dress;
    And the dwarfs numbered seven, no less.
    Whenever one tried
    To sneak up inside,
    Only Sneezy was easy to guess.

  118. Tony Holmes says:

    This is off piste, I know, but perhaps it could qualify for a new category: ‘Best Anomalous Limerick’? (Please imagine cheeky grinning emoji)

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Believed wounds would heal best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    And it glowed as it growed, as it growed.

  119. Tony Holmes says:

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Believed wounds would heal best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    And it glowed and it glowed, as it growed.

    Silly me!

  120. Su Lilly says:

    Into the snow I go
    Sloshing around to and fro!
    Way up on top of a mountain
    Despite the cold, I’m sweating like a fountain…
    Because I made the mistake of looking down below

  121. Sue Dulley says:

    We’ve not reached the end of the year
    But the snowfall last week was severe
    So I’ll dress for the cold
    And ignore that I’m old
    While pretending that I’m still a skier.

  122. Sue Dulley says:

    My snow globe, a fluid-filled sphere,
    Finds its spot on my mantel each year.
    Though in dubious taste
    (Nicer stuff it’s replaced)
    Such traditions I’m forced to revere.

  123. Sue Dulley says:

    Dear Mad: Though I still persevere
    My old muse has now left me, I fear.
    Where I once was snowed under
    With rhymes, now I wonder:
    That snow storm – what caused it to clear?

  124. Tony Holmes says:

    Sorry. Omitted an ‘of’ in the first post.

    “When the going gets tough, persevere!
    Don’t surrender too soon, or to fear.
    Don’t allow life to vex,
    Get your fair share of sex,
    And above all, drink plenty of beer!”

    Oh, it’s all well and good for the tough!
    They don’t mind when the going gets rough.
    At the height of severe,
    They say, “Get outta here!”
    With your limp-wristed, “’nough is enough.”

    It’s all right for the tough, they don’t mind.
    In their eyes it is cruel to be kind.
    They renounce comfy beds,
    To make flint arrowheads;
    I was into it once but resigned.

  125. Tim James says:

    I stopped, although why I don’t know,
    To watch the woods filling with snow.
    After ten minutes’ wait,
    Gentle words from my date:
    “Hey, my butt’s frosting up! Can we go?”

  126. Tony Holmes says:

    When you’re young, snow is fun. When you’re old,
    Snow is tiresome, and nasty, and cold!
    Be a bear, do its thing,
    Hibernate till the spring,
    And emerge when the weather’s controlled.

    Snow is not all it’s cracked up to be!
    I tried skiing and now look at me!
    Six weeks traction – at least! –
    Just for going off-piste;
    Bloody Snow! You can keep it! Compris?

  127. Tony Holmes says:

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it growed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude –
    An’ it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

  128. Tony Holmes says:

    Hey, Mad. I feel a saga coming on. LOL

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it growed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude –
    An’ it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Wished this gift on all men be bestowed.
    But the notion misfired,
    Not all men so desired,
    Though most said they preferred it to woad.

  129. Lisi Nortman says:

    TRUE!! This year in our “senior building” we are having a party Dec. 24th
    But God forbid we can’t call it Christmas. We are also having another party Dec. 22, but God forbid no one is allowed to call it Chanukah!
    The Kuanzaa folks are a bit worried too.
    I have been selected to be the head of entertainment committee and I just got off the phone with the singer.
    In this age of Political Correctness, this is “somewhat” how the conversation went

    “Mr Johnson, I must make this clear!
    When you sing, you must try hard to veer
    Away from religion
    Not even a SMIDGEN!
    Or you might get a punch in the ear!

    “Even though you are very sincere,
    You do not want to ruin your career

  130. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad I pressed SUBMIT by mistake!!!
    I shall start again!

    TRUE! This year in our senior building, on Dec. 22nd we are having a party, but God forbid, do not say the word “Chanukah”
    Then on Christmas Eve, we are having another party, but no one is allowed to mention the word “Christmas” (The Kuanzaa folks are a bit worried too)
    I have been selected as the head of the entertainment committee, and I just got off the phone with the singer. In this age of Political Correctness, this is “somewhat” how our conversation went:

    “Mr. Johnson, I must make this clear!
    When you sing you must try hard to veer
    Away from religion
    Not even a SMIDGEN!
    Or watch out! You’ll get punched in the ear!

    I know you’re a guy who’s sincere
    And you have an important career
    “Silent Night’s” such a treat
    But I have to repeat
    The outcome may be quite severe!

    “I know this is true, Lisi dear
    It gets harder and harder each year
    So I’ll sing “If You’re Happy
    (a tune that’s real snappy”)
    Life is tough, but I must persevere”

  131. Tony Holmes says:

    “When the going gets tough, persevere!
    Don’t surrender too soon, or to fear.
    Don’t allow life to vex,
    Get your fair share of sex,
    And above all, drink plenty of beer!”

    It’s all right for the tough, they don’t care!
    They take rough lying down, for a dare.
    If you chance to complain,
    You get sneers of disdain,
    Then transfixed by contemptuous stare.

    Oh, it’s all well and good for the tough!
    They don’t mind when the going gets rough.
    At the height of severe,
    They say, “Get outta here!”
    With your limp-wristed, “’nough is enough!”

    It’s all right for the tough, they don’t mind.
    They’re convinced it is cruel to be kind.
    They renounce comfy beds,
    To make flint arrowheads;
    I was into it once but resigned.

  132. Tony Holmes says:

    For Lisi N.

    Yes, the madness is spreading, I hear.
    Now they’ve made it a crime, we’re in fear.
    But, oh my, how they spend!
    And for what? To pretend?
    What’s the point if they will not revere?

  133. Tony Holmes says:

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it growed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude.
    An’ it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Wished this gift on all men be bestowed.
    But the notion misfired,
    Not all men so desired,
    Though most said they preferred it to woad.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Was so proud and his joy overflowed.
    He went out and displayed
    But was somewhat dismayed
    When detained for not keeping it stowed.

  134. Lisi Nortman says:

    To snowboard is really so tough
    You slide down and it’s slip’ry and rough
    Invented by folks
    Who glide down the slopes
    And feel skiing’s not lethal enough

  135. Lisi Nortman says:

    More about our party!
    Our singer will be Dan Sullivan. He is so talented. If anyone has a chance, look him up on the Internet. “Dan Sullivan Entertainer”
    (Limerick from today at 3:08 PM) And I HAVE known him for a long time!
    (Alternate limerick for stanza 2)

    I have known you for many a year
    And have followed your splendid career
    “Silent Night” is so sweet
    But I have to repeat
    The outcome may be quite severe

  136. Tony Holmes says:

    I think snow’s overrated, don’t you?
    Causes mayhem and mishap – it’s true!
    When left lying around
    It does things to the ground
    Which make driving a right how’d- you – do.

  137. Tony Holmes says:

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it growed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude.
    An’ it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Wished this gift on all men be bestowed.
    But the notion misfired,
    Not all men so desired,
    Though most said they preferred it to woad.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Felt so proud that he went out and crowed.
    They arraigned him – (Dismay!)
    For the wanton display
    Of what, rightly, he should have kept stowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Once he’d paid off the debt that he owed.
    Was released from the gaol
    Looking haggard and pale,
    But undaunted – his manhood still glowed.

  138. Tony Holmes says:

    Sorry! I wasn’t happy woth the end – no pun intended.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it growed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude.
    An’ it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Wished this gift on all men be bestowed.
    But the notion misfired,
    Not all men so desired,
    Though most said they preferred it to woad.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Felt so proud that he went out and crowed.
    They arraigned him – (Dismay!)
    For the wanton display
    Of what, rightly, he should have kept stowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Once he’d paid off the debt that he owed
    Was released from the gaol
    Looking haggard and pale,
    But he glowed an’ he glowed as he strode.

  139. Tony Holmes says:

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Snowed,
    Reaped the harvest his folly had sewed.
    But departing the gaol,
    Looking haggard and pale,
    He still glowed an’ he glowed as he strode.

    That’s it. The end!

  140. Tony Holmes says:

    A cross-cultural limerick.

    Brit’ Version.

    I think snow is a pain in the arse!
    When it sets, reminiscent of glass.
    Frost is okay, in mod’,
    But deep snow is a sod!
    On the plus side, it’s good for the grass.

    U.S Version.

    I think snow is a pain in the ass!
    When it sets, reminiscent of glass.
    Frost is okay, in mod’,
    But deep snow is a sod!
    On the plus side, it’s good for the grass.

  141. Tony Holmes says:

    Corrected before you tick me off. LOL

    I think snow’s overrated, don’t you?
    Causes mayhem and mishap – it’s true!
    When left lying around
    It does things to the ground
    Which make driving a right how – d’you – do.

  142. Tony Holmes says:

    Forward planning’s the secret with snow
    Follow Nature, stock up as you go.
    Triple glazing, log fires,
    All one’s heartfelt desires,
    Then kick back and enjoy the tableau.

  143. Lisi Nortman says:

    FINAL VERSION:”Advice to the Holiday Singer”

    Mr. Johnson, I must make this clear
    When you sing, you must try hard to veer
    Away from religion
    Not even a smidgen
    Or you might just get punched in the ear

    I have known you for many a year
    And have followed your splendid career
    Even though it feels right
    Do not sing “Silent Night”
    Cause the outcome may be quite severe

    “I know what you mean, Lisi dear
    It gets harder and harder each year
    So I’ll sing “If You’re Happy”
    (a tune that is snappy)
    Times have changed, but I must persevere

    (“Lisi, if everyone IS happy and they know it, I hope they clap their hands)

  144. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mad: above limerick: Line one, second limerick: It is obviously I have KNOWN you, not I have KNOW you. If you have time, could you fix that for me?
    Thanks, Lisi

    ********

    Done.

  145. Lisi Nortman says:

    (Double)

    The snowfall today is severe
    The winter is most surely here
    I went out to clear it
    And now I sure fear it
    The “cold front” is also “cold rear”

  146. Tony Holmes says:

    On a snow-covered hillside in Gwent,
    Boy proposes to girl in a tent.
    She says, “Yes!” overjoyed,
    Then decamps to Kingcoed
    Where she promptly renounced him for Lent.

  147. Tim James says:

    Here in Camelot, Queen Guinevere
    Has discovered some boils on her rear.
    In our kingdom, we’ve found,
    Splendid doctors abound.
    They’ve been using the lance a lot here.

  148. Kirk Miller says:

    My “snow” themed limerick story:

    After many a day of snowfall,
    To the snowgirl the snowman did call,
    “I do hope that perchance,
    You would like to go dance.
    And the venue, of course: the Snow Ball.”

    When she didn’t respond, he got bolder.
    “I do think you’re Snow White,” snowman told ‘er.
    But she didn’t reply,
    So his plans went awry.
    She ignored him and gave the cold shoulder.

    For cold weather the snowman did pray;
    And at first sky was cloudy and gray.
    But out came the sun
    To spoil snowman’s fun,
    And romance simply melted away.

    In order to get to know her,
    He thought that he ought to show her
    That he had a good wit.
    That should be a big hit.
    He hoped that some puns would snow her.

    The wind started swirling quite swift
    And gave snowman’s spirits a lift.
    And so then, just for fun,
    Snowman uttered a pun:
    “My snow’s blowing your way; catch my drift?”

    Very poorly the snowman did fare
    With the snowgirl. He didn’t despair.
    When she said, “You’re a flake,”
    Snowman made a mistake.
    His pursuit seemed to snowball from there.

    He persisted. She said, “Please vamoose.”
    Then she gave him some verbal abuse.
    And eventually,
    The poor snowman did see
    He should stop his pursuit; it snow use.

    Brokenhearted, the snowman did bawl,
    And was filled with a feeling of gall.
    Though she thought he looked chic,
    And admired his physique,
    For his nose she did not carrot all.

    The snowman, quite sad, did depart.
    His heartstrings were broken apart.
    If they got together
    Despite the cold weather
    I’m sure she’d have melted his heart.

    This sad story shows just what befalls
    Many males who it really appalls.
    As might be expected,
    The men are rejected
    Because women don’t like their snow balls.

  149. Tony Holmes says:

    “Never mind that he’s old, fat and bald,
    Just so long as he comes when he’s called.
    Should response start to veer,
    Or, in fact, disappear,
    Then perhaps he should be overhauled.”

    “Ninety-three and he’s worked all his life,
    As attested by me – I’m his wife.
    But last night, and this morn’,
    There’s no blast to his horn,
    And it’s causing us marital strife.”

    To e continued – if I can persuade the muse to stop by.

  150. Tony Holmes says:

    Harmony In The Home

    “Never mind that he’s old, fat and bald,
    Just so long as he comes when he’s called.
    Should response start to veer,
    Or, in fact, disappear,
    Then it’s high time he got overhauled.”

    “Ninety-three and he’s worked all his life,
    As attested by me – I’m his wife.
    But last night, and this morn’,
    There’s no blast to his horn,
    And it’s causing us marital strife.”

    “I don’t like things to change – I’ve got needs,
    And I laid down my rules, which he heeds.
    Twice at night, then again
    Before breakfast, and then,
    On occasion before lunchtime feeds.”

  151. Tim Gray says:

    Trump’s lucky it’s not too severe
    How far off-topic he’ll veer.
    His GOP fans don’t mind
    But will we soon find
    It’ll ruin his chance for next year?

  152. Tim Gray says:

    This impeachment could be severe,
    But I’ve got nothing to fear.
    I’ve got it all planned,
    With the Russians in hand,
    To win the election next year.

  153. Tim Gray says:

    This impeachment could be severe,
    But the Russians are who got me here,
    So with my friend Vlad
    We’ll make the Dem’s look real bad
    And they’ll help me get back in next year.

  154. Tim Gray says:

    At midnight rode Paul Revere,
    “The English are coming I fear.
    Wake! Arise from your bed,
    Take musket, powder and lead
    And we’ll drive the Pommies from here”.

  155. Tony Holmes says:

    A Lifetime Of Harmony

    “Morning Doctor! It’s him – he’s not right,
    And I need him put right by tonight.
    There’s a fault with his gear;
    Yes! I did persevere:
    It’s the first time it’s put up a fight.”

    “Ninety-three and it’s worked all his life,
    As attested by me, as his wife.
    But last night, and this morn’,
    There’s no blast to his horn,
    And it’s causing us marital strife.”

    “Never mind that he’s old, fat and bald,
    Just so long as he comes when he’s called.
    Should response start to veer,
    Or, in fact, disappear,
    Then it’s high time he got overhauled.”

    “I don’t like things to change – I’ve got needs,
    When we wed’ I had rules, which he heeds;
    Twice at night, then again
    Before breakfast, and then,
    On occasion before lunchtime feeds.”

    “If his pencil’s depleted of lead
    His existence may hang by a thread.
    Should his case be severe,
    I’ll be quite cavalier,
    An’ trade up for a young ‘un instead.”

    “As your doctor I’m bound to advise
    That it might just be time to revise
    Your domestic routine;
    Please consider, I mean …
    Well, at your time of life, is it wise?”

    “What has wisdom to do with the case?
    We’re quite happy – just look at his face!
    He gets all he can eat –
    And he’s never been beat’,
    So, I think your remark’s out of place.”

    “Very well, then, take this and let’s hope
    You’re not heading for Slippery Slope.
    Don’t mismeasure the drench!
    If you should, then retrench,
    As you may find you struggle to cope.

  156. Lisi Nortman says:

    While skiing, I never foresaw
    That I’d land in the snow (broke my jaw)
    People said, “You okay?”
    I said, “SURE! “Go away”
    I stayed there until the spring thaw

  157. Tim Gray says:

    Stay away, I’ve got diarrhoea
    And my case is pretty severe.
    That’s the problem with Delhi
    You always get Delhi Belly…
    Why’d I ever want to come here?

  158. Tim Gray says:

    The States’ Christians, it would appear
    Think Trumps crimes are not to severe.
    Though the loss of morality
    Seems a GOP based polarity
    And something I think we should fear.

  159. Lisi Nortman says:

    In a snowstorm, you always must veer
    Away from all things that you fear
    So drive one mile an hour
    You’ll feel mind-blowing power
    And arrive back at home in a year

    (double)

  160. Lisi Nortman says:

    My dog likes to poop on the grass
    To get rid of the crap he’ll then pass
    But when there is snow
    And he still has to go
    He’ll courageously freeze off his ass

  161. Lisi Nortman says:

    This one’s better (double)

    In a snowstorm, you always must veer
    Away from all things that you fear
    So drive one mile an hour
    And with this great power
    You’ll arrive safe at home in a year

  162. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Cried Sisyphus, “I’ll persevere!
    I’ll inch this rock higher, don’t fear!
    But then I must stop,
    for if I reach the top,
    what the hell will I do all next year?”

  163. Tony Holmes says:

    Here we are, at the end of the year,
    And yet no further forward, I fear.
    Are we wiser? Fat chance!
    Though we fail to advance,
    On the plus side, we still persevere.

    What can I say? I’m staring at the bottom of th barrel.

  164. Tony Holmes says:

    With Epilogue and now a twofer saga.

    A Lifetime Of Harmony

    “Morning Doctor! It’s him – he’s not right,
    And I need him put right by tonight.
    There’s a fault with his gear;
    Yes! I did persevere:
    It’s the first time it’s put up a fight.”

    “Ninety-three and it’s worked all his life,
    That’s attested by me, as his wife.
    But last night, and this morn’,
    There’s no blast to his horn,
    And it’s causing us marital strife.”

    “Never mind that he’s old, fat and bald,
    Just so long as he comes when he’s called.
    But when he starts to jib
    He becomes a damp squib,
    So, it’s high time he got overhauled.”

    “I don’t like things to change – I’ve got needs,
    When we wed’ I had rules, which he heeds;
    Twice at night, then again
    Before breakfast, and then,
    On occasion, ‘fore luncheon proceeds.”

    “If his pencil’s depleted of lead
    His existence may hang by a thread.
    Should his case be severe,
    I’ll be quite cavalier,
    An’ trade up for a young ‘un instead.”

    “As your doctor I’m bound to advise
    That it might just be time to revise
    Your domestic routine;
    Please consider, I mean …
    Well, at your time of life, is it wise?”

    “What has wisdom to do with the case?
    We’re quite happy – just look at his face!
    He gets all he can eat –
    And he’s never been beat’,
    So, I think your remark’s out of place.”

    “Very well, then, take this and let’s hope
    You’re not heading for Slippery Slope.
    Don’t mismeasure the drench!
    If you should, then retrench,
    As you may find you struggle to cope.

    Epilogue

    “Morning, Doctor! We’re both in the pink,
    And it’s all thanks to you and this drink.
    We’ll take six more to go,
    Just in case it should snow;
    Six should set us up nicely, I think.”

  165. Tony Holmes says:

    Epilogue, improved.

    Epilogue

    “Morning, Doctor! We’re both in the pink,
    And it’s all thanks to you and this drink.
    We’ll take six more to go,
    We’re expecting some snow;
    Six should set us up nicely, I think.”

  166. Tony Holmes says:

    As I said, the barrel bottom is staring me in the face.

    “Here we are, at the end of the year,
    And yet no further forward, I fear.
    Are we wiser? Fat chance!
    Though we fail to advance,
    On the plus side, we still persevere.”

    “Optimism? Permit me to sneer!
    It’s misplaced; you won’t get them to veer.
    Politicians are bent!
    They will never repent;
    It is not in their nature, I fear.”

  167. Tony Holmes says:

    Twoferred.

    “Here we are, at the end of the year,
    And yet no further forward, I fear.
    Are we wiser? Fat chance!
    Though we fail to advance,
    On the plus side, we still persevere.”

    “Optimism? Permit me to sneer!
    It’s misplaced; you won’t get them to veer.
    Politicians are bent!
    They will never repent;
    It is not in their nature, I fear.”

    “It’s the way of the world – it’s all show!
    And has ever been thus, don’t you know?
    Don’t perceive this as strange;
    You won’t see any change
    Until hell has been buried in snow.”

  168. Tony Holmes says:

    I didn’t like the last line.

    “Here we are, at the end of the year,
    And yet no further forward, I fear.
    Are we wiser? Fat chance!
    Though we fail to advance,
    On the plus side, we still persevere.”

    “Optimism? Permit me to sneer!
    It’s misplaced; you won’t get them to veer.
    Politicians are bent!
    They will never repent;
    It is not in their nature, I fear.”

    “It’s the way of the world, mademoiselle,
    And has ever been thus – you’ve heard tell.
    Don’t perceive this as strange;
    You won’t see any change
    Till the day they build snowmen in hell.”

  169. Tony Payne says:

    You have some brilliant entries, I just had a great laugh reading through them all.

    In December the North wind may blow
    And the ground will be covered in snow
    So take care now me “cocks”
    When you put on yer socks
    Cos yer don’t want a hole in yer toe!

  170. Tony Payne says:

    When December storms are severe
    Don’t go walking out on the pier
    When the waves are all crashing
    A breaking and splashing
    Folk will look at you as if you are queer

  171. Val Fish says:

    The two people you should most revere
    Each and every day of the year
    Are your mum and dad
    They may drive you mad
    But without them you wouldn’t be here!

  172. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    For Lisi:

    It’s true that that drunk, Paul Revere,
    Had had way too much whiskey and beer.
    So on leaving the pub,
    He rode into a shrub,
    Through a privy, and then hit a deer.

  173. Tony Holmes says:

    When the snowdrifts are way past your knees
    And ‘John Thomas’ is feeling the freeze,
    There’s but one thing to do;
    You must build an igloo;
    Even then, there are no guarantees.

  174. Tony Holmes says:

    You’re stuck in a snowstorm stroke blizzard:
    You’ve just slit another chap’s gizzard.
    What to do? Hunker down?
    There’s no way outta town;
    Unless you’re a mage or a wizard.

  175. Tony Holmes says:

    The Legend of Archibald Spode: Continued

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it snowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude.
    As it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Wished this gift on all men be bestowed.
    But the notion misfired,
    Not all men so desired,
    Though most said they preferred it to woad.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Felt so proud that he went out and crowed.
    They arraigned him – (Dismay!)
    For the wanton display
    Of what, they believed, ought to stay stowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Reaped the harvest his folly had sewed.
    But departing the gaol,
    Looking haggard and pale,
    He still glowed an’ he glowed as he strode.

    Once at home Archie’s grief overflowed,
    And at one point, he thought he’d implode.
    Then a lady called round
    And his sorrows were drowned
    As she rode an’ they glowed as it snowed.

  176. Tony Holmes says:

    Preferred.

    Once at home Archie’s grief overflowed,
    And at one point, he thought he’d implode.
    Then a lady called round
    And his sorrows were drowned
    As it snowed and they glowed as she rode.

  177. Lisi Nortman says:

    Wherever you worship, revere
    Your clergyman’s faithful career
    But don’t give donations
    You’ve no obligations
    And escape from a door that is near

  178. Lisi Nortman says:

    a minor change L4

    Wherever you worship, revere
    Your clergyman’s faithful career
    But don’t give donations
    Deny obligations
    And escape from a door that is near

  179. Tony Holmes says:

    The Legend of Archibald Spode

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Held that members healed best if they glowed.
    As a proof against clap,
    He illumined his ‘chap’,
    An’ it glowed an’ it glowed as it snowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Found that ladies, delighted when showed,
    Squealed with pleasure and cooed –
    Not a one thought it rude.
    As it growed an’ it growed as it glowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Wished this gift on all men be bestowed.
    But the notion misfired,
    Not all men so desired,
    Though most said they preferred it to woad.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Felt so proud that he went out and crowed.
    They arraigned him – (Dismay!)
    For the wanton display
    Of what, they believed, ought to stay stowed.

    Addled alchemist, Archibald Spode,
    Reaped the harvest his folly had sewed.
    But departing the gaol,
    Looking haggard and pale,
    He still glowed an’ he glowed as he strode.

    Once at home Archie’s grief overflowed,
    And his girlfriend believed he’d implode.
    Seeing Archie’s despair
    She disrobed then and there,
    An’ it snowed an’ they glowed as she rode.

    Archibald Spode: The Final Chapter

    Now his girlfriend is called Mrs Spode
    And together they hit motherlode.
    They had girls and a boy
    And to everyone’s joy,
    They each glowed an’ they glowed as they growed.

  180. Tony Holmes says:

    “When I fell for a snowman, the chill,
    I thought then, was the ultimate thrill.
    Once he knew how I felt,
    His chill started to melt,
    And our love quickly travelled downhill.”

  181. Tony Holmes says:

    “When I fell for a snowman, the chill,
    I thought then, was the ultimate thrill.
    Once he knew how I felt,
    His chill started to melt,
    And our love quickly travelled downhill.”

    “There’s a moral, I venture to add,
    And you’d best get a tissue, it’s sad.
    Snowmen can’t meet your need;
    They’re all frigid, indeed,
    But my kid really misses his dad.”

  182. Tony Holmes says:

    Much better penultimate line.

    “When I fell for a snowman, the chill,
    I thought then, was the ultimate thrill.
    Once he knew how I felt,
    His chill started to melt,
    And our love quickly travelled downhill.”

    “There’s a moral, I venture to add,
    And you’d best get a tissue, it’s sad.
    Snowmen can’t meet your need;
    They’re too frigid a breed;
    But my kid really misses his dad.”

  183. Lisi Nortman says:

    (double)

    Mr. Snowman went wild, it was clear
    That his crisis was very severe
    He started to cry
    Said he wanted to die
    His meltdown left only one tear

  184. Tony Holmes says:

    “Hey, there, Frosty! Your first snowmobile?
    Take the plunge! Jump right in! Get the feel!
    That’s the air-con, right there,
    But of that one, BEWARE!
    Heated seats come as part of the deal.”

  185. Tony Holmes says:

    “Take snowman and snowwoman, unite!
    It’s not easy, they’ll put up a fight.
    Left alone they will mope;
    This will give them more scope,
    And together, the future looks bright.”

  186. Tony Holmes says:

    When we see the first buds, we think, “Swell!”
    But for snowmen Spring’s push sounds the knell.
    They must fade from the scene
    To make way for the green;
    But they’ll visit again for a spell.

  187. Tony Holmes says:

    When we see the first buds, we think, “Swell!”
    But for snowmen Spring’s push sounds the knell.
    They must fade from the scene
    To make way for the green;
    But they’ll visit again in a spell.

    Sorry. Saw it too late.

  188. Lisi Nortman says:

    (a double)

    I have written the “Song Of The Year”
    (One can do it, but must persevere)
    It’s a cute little ditty
    And also quite witty:
    “Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Just Not Here”

  189. Lisi Nortman says:

    Most snowmen are never allowed
    To hang out with a real boozy crowd
    But Frost didn’t care
    And sure didn’t prepare
    For the fact that he went and got plowed

  190. Lisi Nortman says:

    a minor change line 2 one limerick up (double)

    I have written the “Song Of The Year”
    (Wasn’t easy; you must persevere)
    It’s a cute little ditty
    And also quite witty:
    “Let It Snow, Let it Snow, Just Not Here”

  191. Tony Holmes says:

    I depart, at the first sign of snow,
    For my villa in old Mexico.
    Oh, all right! It’s not real –
    ‘Least, not yet; but I feel,
    That one day I shall reap if I sow.

    At the first intimation of snow
    I hightail it to old Mexico,
    Sip cold beer on the beach,
    Pretty girl within reach,
    And say prayers for those twenty below.

  192. Tony Holmes says:

    “I don’t mind that it’s twenty below,
    That the landscape is covered in snow.
    I can take in my stride
    That we’ve three months inside;
    I just wish you were Miss M Monroe.”

  193. Tony Holmes says:

    Yes, you’re bankrupt, but be of good cheer!
    Don’t give up, lad! You must persevere.
    So you shot for the stars,
    And fell short, hitting Mars:
    Very few even reach atmosphere.

    I always get a bit philosophical as the New Year approaches. (It’ll pass)

  194. Lisi Nortman says:

    It is time to respect and revere
    This country we hold very dear
    So please learn to speak
    With our “English Technique”
    Don’t concern, there ain’t nuttin’ to fear

  195. Lisi Nortman says:

    or how about this one?

    It is time to respect and revere
    This country we hold very dear
    So please learn to speak
    With our “English Technique”
    Dunch you worries; ain’t nuttin’ to fear

  196. Lisi Nortman says:

    Maybe this one?

    It is time to respect and revere
    This country we hold very dear
    So please learn to speak
    With our “English Technique”
    Dunch yous worries; ain’t nuttin’ to fear

  197. Lisi Nortman says:

    acrostic

    A vehicle sometimes will veer
    L eft or right, when you don’t even steer!
    I t might get you scared
    G o and get it repaired!
    N ow it’s safer. Get back into gear

  198. Tony Holmes says:

    Commending The Fifth

    We are taught from day one to revere
    Mum and Dad, to live many a year.
    Mum and Dad take to heart
    And exploit from the start,
    Then the therapists take it from here.

  199. Tony Holmes says:

    Commending The Fifth

    We are taught from day one to revere
    Mum and Dad, to live many a year.
    Mum and Dad are not slow
    To exploit, as we know,
    Which all therapists sanction, “Here, here!”

    My New Year’s resolution is going to be, “Don’t publish until you’ve revised to your satisfaction!” It’ll be interesting to see how long that lasts. LOL.

  200. Jesse Levy says:

    I once said to Paul Revere
    “Hey, Paul, what are you doing here?
    It’s midnight you know.
    So shouldn’t you blow?”
    He said, “Dumbbell, my ride was LAST year!”

  201. Tony Holmes says:

    “Swingeing cutbacks mean bobbies deployed
    Are the fewest we’ve ever enjoyed.
    Take to crime – persevere!
    We must keep these chaps here;
    It’s our duty to keep them employed.”

    FYI. ‘Bobbies’ is the nickname given to the early policemen in the uk, named after thier founder, Sir Robert Peel. Apologies if you already knew that.

  202. Tony Holmes says:

    “When I fell for a snowman, the chill,
    I thought then, was the ultimate thrill.
    Though he knew how I felt,
    His chill started to melt,
    And our love quickly travelled downhill.”

    “There’s a moral, I venture to add,
    And you’d best get a tissue, it’s sad.
    Snowmen can’t meet your need;
    They’re too frigid a breed;
    But my kid really misses his dad.”

    I know it’s only one word, but it’s definitely better.

  203. Tony Holmes says:

    When your rhymes are beginning to veer,
    And the stress level’s nearing severe,
    Think of Mad; grit your teeth,
    Return dagger to sheath,
    And keep telling yourself, “Persevere!”

  204. Daisy Ward says:

    The young man’s acne was severe
    Looked into the mirror, and shed a tear
    He put salt on his face
    Then tried to erase
    Acne grew, making him look like a queer

  205. Daisy Ward says:

    Santa fell down in the snow
    Then shouted, i’m just to dawn slow
    So, he took off his suit
    Then wrapped up his boot
    Grabbed his blanket and starts to glow

  206. Lisi Nortman says:

    correction of rhyming error from December 16 5:05 pm

    To snowboard is really so tough
    You slide where it’s slip’ry and rough
    Twas’ invented by jerks
    With very strange quirks
    Who feel skiing’s not lethal enough

  207. Tony Holmes says:

    When your rhymes are beginning to veer,
    And the stress level’s nearing severe,
    Think of Mad; grit your teeth,
    Return dagger to sheath,
    And keep telling yourself, “Persevere!”

    It was Mad, after all, who said, “Snow!”
    And we all of us said, “Tally-ho!”
    We’ve had blizzards and balls –
    Genital and dance hall’s –
    And we’ve still got a fair way to go.

  208. Tim James says:

    Said the trollop to Mrs. Revere,
    “Paul’s out shouting to all, far and near.
    The resistance is humming:
    ‘The British are coming!’
    That’s true; I’ve been bedding them, dear.”

  209. Lisi Nortman says:

    We guys in the dorm persevere
    (Not as easy as it may appear)
    But we’ve got “staying power”
    Till it reaches the hour
    That the pizza is finally here

  210. Lisi Nortman says:

    another version

    We guys in the dorm persevere
    And it’s harder than it may appear
    But we’ve got great endurance
    And a certain assurance
    That the pizza will fine’ly be here

  211. Lisi Nortman says:

    Still in there? You must PERSEVERE!
    In the end, it will fine’ly appear
    Without any doubt
    What goes in, must come out
    Although you may get a sore rear

  212. Lisi Nortman says:

    Down in Georgia, where we always go
    In the Spring it was 20 below!
    A sign on the route
    Cautioned “Drivers, WATCH OUT!
    There are Southerners driving in snow!”

  213. Lisi Nortman says:

    another version of limerick from 5:40 pm

    Still in there? You must PERSEVERE!
    In the end, it will fine’ly appear
    Cuz without any doubt
    What goes in must come out
    And I think you’re a pain in the rear

  214. Tony Holmes says:

    “You can say what you like about snow,
    Like, “Bugger!” and “Pack up and go!”
    You can shout yourself hoarse,
    It ignores you, of course;
    Were I you, I’d just go with the floe.”

  215. Shaneka Antwanette Murphy says:

    I fear there’s a sound so severe
    Too dreadful to hear with my ear
    If I train my old clock
    Not to tick or to tock
    Monday morning won’t come around here!

  216. Tony Holmes says:

    “Get your kit off and roll in the snow
    You will tinge all over and glow.
    True, your tackle will sting,
    That won’t matter till Spring,
    And you might find your waterworks slow.”

  217. Tony Holmes says:

    “Get your kit off and roll in the snow
    You will tingle all over and glow.
    True, your tackle may sting,
    That won’t matter till Spring,
    And you might find your waterworks slow.”

    Sorry, that is, of course, tingle not tinge.

  218. Tony Holmes says:

    So much for the New Year’s res’. Ho hum.

  219. Shaneka Antwanette Murphy says:

    My kids want another snow day
    But this surely won’t be ok
    On snow you may trip
    And fracture your hip
    So I said to them, “There ‘snow’ way”

  220. Tony Holmes says:

    “You can say what you like about snow,
    Like, “Oh, Bugger!” and “Pack up and go!”
    You can shout yourself hoarse,
    It ignores you, of course;
    Were I you, I’d just go with the floe.”

    I’m saying nothing.

  221. Lisi Nortman says:

    acrostic: “A Patch Of Old Snow” (a poem written in 1916)

    F rom a distance, I looked down below
    R eminiscing ’bout times long ago
    O ver there by a nook
    S o much grime overtook
    T he beauty of winter’s lush snow

  222. madkane says:

    The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.

  223. Lisi Nortman says:

    a minor change in Line 2 “A Patch Of Old Snow” (a poem written in 1916)
    acrostic

    F rom a distance, I looked down below
    R eflecting on times long ago
    O ver there, by a nook
    S o much grime overtook
    T he beauty of winter’s lush snow

  224. Lisi Nortman says:

    another variation

    F rom a distance, I looked down below
    R eflecting on times long ago
    O ver hills, near a brook
    S pots of grime overtook
    T he beauty of winter’s lush snow

  225. Tim Gray says:

    Will Donald be out in the snow?
    In eleven months we will know
    Then with his parting tweet,
    Never admitting defeat,
    Will claim it was all just a show.

  226. Tim Gray says:

    We went off to a Seer
    For our fortunes for the New Year
    She said to beware
    Misfortune is there,
    Our lives will suddenly veer.

    So then we paid her no mind,
    (I never trusted one of her kind),
    On our path for this year
    We’ll just persevere
    And see what it is that we find.

    It turned out a horrible year
    Blighted, sad and austere.
    We lost our fortune and fame
    And things I won’t name
    That were much, much more severe.

    With luck we didn’t die
    No matter how fortune might try,
    Though it’s patently clear
    “Life”, I didn’t revere,
    “Why Me! Lord,” I ask, “Why?”

    It was so bad, I thought I would scream
    Then I woke and found it’s a dream.
    It just goes to show,
    Steam, hail or snow,
    Things are not as they seem.

  227. Tim Gray says:

    Trump, ever more corrupt,
    His trial, wants to disrupt,
    But well persevere,
    Not from our line veer,
    Mo matter how much he’ll erupt.

  228. Dave Johnson says:

    The weather outside – so severe;
    With snow piling up far and near.
    But lovers aglow
    By the fireplace know
    A heat wave is eminent here.

  229. Larz says:

    Frosty the Snowman:

    Frosty is thrilled when it’s snowing
    Cuz his old snowballs keep growing.
    But he takes no delight
    When the kids have a fight
    Cuz it’s his snowballs they’re throwing.

  230. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for four fun weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 335. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Cue.