Limerick Feud (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man was involved in a feud…*

or

A gal was involved in a feud…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Feud
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A shrink was involved in a feud
With his neighbors, and ended up sued.
On his problem he dwelled,
As lawyers withheld
Any aid, saying “Not in the mood!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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59 Responses to “Limerick Feud (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. kaykuala says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    All those involved were his brood
    His mother cried
    For he had lied
    Made it out to be such a big dispute

    Hank

  2. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    That left him at sea with this dude
    Aboard a small whaler
    (For each was a sailor)
    Who yelled, “Boy, you’re screwed, blued, tattoed!”

    Though this language wasn’t too nice
    No crewman glanced up more than twice
    But later they fought
    As expected, were caught:
    In the brig now, their dinner cold rice.

  3. Uhave2laff says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With a gal he one time had wooed
    He’d offered her money
    If she’d call him “Sonny”
    And diaper him in the nude.

  4. Sally Franz says:

    A gal was involved in a feud
    Her handyman, rude and lewd
    His work was abominable
    His bill astronomical
    So in small claims she saw he was screwed

  5. A man was involved in a feud
    And displayed a bad attitude:
    And, though he protested,
    The act he suggested
    Is widely regarded as crude.

  6. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A lady involved in a feud,
    Was a buttoned-up prim little prude,
    The thoughts in her mind
    Were obscene and unkind
    But she thought vocalising was rude.
    *

  7. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With his neighbours who said he was lewd
    For displaying they say
    A hard on each day
    Whilst parading around in the nude.

  8. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    Their daughter is now having a feud
    For ogling the tool of this dude
    And for wishing it’s size
    Could be twixt her thighs
    As she freely admits she’s no prude

  9. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A time saving man’s in a feud
    With his woman who argues he’s rude
    For whilst he is up her
    He gulps down his supper
    Claiming after that he’s very shrewd.

  10. Mark Kane says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With his wife, who believed she was shrewd.
    She worked “Late” every night,
    But after their fight,
    It was clear who in fact was so screwed.

  11. The Limerick King says:

    A man was involved in a fued
    With his date after seeing her nude
    It made him feel sick
    Upon seeing a prick
    This pretty young girl was a dude!

  12. Pat Hatt says:

    A man was involved in a fued
    With some old prickly prude
    She want a view
    Of his bouncy two
    Eventually he just broke down and got nude

  13. RMP says:

    [ Young Love ]

    This boy was involved in a feud
    with a girl in his class who was rude
    his uncle declared
    “now boy don’t be scared,
    but she likes you and wants to be wooed.”

  14. A man was involved in a feud
    In a long line, where hundreds were queued
    He said, “I wanna
    “Good seat for Madonna,”
    “It’s the Biden debate, sorry, dude!”

  15. Deb Bixler says:

    A Chef was involved in a feud
    The lady didn’t like his food
    The dish was sauteed
    He felt so betrayed
    She said she preferred it stewed

  16. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Two office mates locked in a feud
    Thought that each other’s desktop was lewd.
    The hostilities—duck!—
    Left each monitor stuck
    In a place where it couldn’t be viewed.

  17. Green Speck says:

    A lady was involved in a feud,
    With her guy who thought her shrewd,
    A smile she faked,
    His heart got laid,
    And in a moment his rage subdued.

  18. JulesPaige says:

    A Shakespearean Redo

    A gal was involved in a feud
    Montaque and Capulets fiercely stewed
    Did not want Romeo serenading -
    Or their young love escalating
    And put up a fierce attitude

    A guy was involved with a feud
    T’was not because he was lewd
    He was heart struck
    And it was not his luck
    to deal with a family so shrewd

    A Friar was involved with a feud
    Tried his best to comfort the damsel and dude
    A secret marriage, duels and a missed communique
    resulted in deaths at the end of Shakespeares play
    As in the end both families were royally screwed

    (c)JP/davh

  19. JulesPaige says:

    Typing fingers got int the way an and that second e should not be in ‘shrewd’
    but I can’t get in there to fix it… sorry.

    Note from Mad Kane: I fixed it. :)

  20. Mark Kane says:

    A man faced a hot mounting feud
    with his wife till she trotted out nude.
    They curbed their cruel banter,
    With a quickening canter,
    And arrived with a gallop quite lewd!

  21. Jesse Levy says:

    A man was involved with a feud
    Mr. Hatfield was always so rude
    But this here McCoy
    was a very bright boy
    and managed to screw his whole brood.

    (All the Hatfield girls, that is).

  22. Sallie McKenna says:

    Triptych today…three unrelated (except by prompt) attempts…

    A man was involved in a feud
    over methods of frying his food
    unrepentant hair-splitter
    claimed the fritter was bitter
    because Chef was allegedly stewed

    A man was involved in a feud
    and though hesitant to intrude
    stuck my nose in unwanted
    and persisted undaunted
    till he made it no longer protrude

    A man was involved in a feud
    there was nothing else to conclude
    but that he was the reason
    our kids all had fleas on
    their heads from the strays he accrued

  23. Taylor Boomer says:

    a star has fallen
    while people in london
    have fun dancing,
    the day becomes icing
    then the star turns into a pen.

  24. colonialist says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With those his performance had booed –
    ‘How on earth can they say
    Making Romeo gay
    Had tended to set the wrong mood?’

    A gal was involved in a feud
    With the smith her showjumper had shoed,
    ‘You can’t tell me the slob
    Did much of a job
    When the course was with horseshoes bestrewed!’

  25. colonialist says:

    I only read the preceding Shakespeare caper AFTER I wrote the first one, I swear! Something about Romeo and Juliet in the air?
    Anyway, please close my quote in the second try.

    Note from Mad Kane: I closed your quote. :)

  26. Craig says:

    Every Sunday an NFL feud.
    Some teams thrive, and some others get booed.
    But I’m a ‘Skins fan
    And I’m tellin’ ya, man –
    Losing home games is gettin’ old, dude.

  27. John Sardo says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With his wife who posed artfully nude
    He complained in loud voice
    “What a horrible choice”
    But became a changed dude when the cash he soon viewed.

    A gal was involved in a feud
    With a guy who showed attitude
    You’ll get nothing from me
    You son of a b
    When I’m treated in a manner so crude.

  28. Veralynne says:

    Why do we continue this feud
    When the cause was at first misconstrued?
    Most are caused by mistake
    Life is no piece of cake!
    Before fight, assure words are reviewed.

  29. Bruce Niedt says:

    Obama, involved in a feud
    with a suave-looking candidate dude,
    said, “I know the debate
    for my part was third-rate -
    perhaps it’s the high altitude.”

  30. Veralynne says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With his wife and one other dude.
    They didn’t agree
    On how they should be
    Sitting in church–should they be chaired or pewed?

  31. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A young man was involved in a feud
    With the young woman he wooed
    Seems he in great haste
    Mistook lube for some paste
    Causing labial lips to be glued

  32. When I was involved in a feud
    with hubby about our dog’s food
    I said cucumber
    makes her eyes umber
    and he said my reasoning’s skewed.

  33. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A young woman involved in a feud
    Summoned all of her pulchritude
    So the sight of her crutch
    For him was too much
    Which brought him to servitude.

  34. A gal was involved in a feud
    With a bawdy and lascivious dude.
    They couldn’t decide
    KY or Astroglide?
    For an erotic encounter most lewd.

  35. Veralynne says:

    Our pols are involved in fake feud
    With cover-up lies their scripts are imbued
    Their words aren’t what matter
    They’re just rhetoric and chatter
    It’s ACTIONS that count, so we’re screwed!

  36. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Two neighbors fell into a feud
    When up came a bubblin’ crude
    On the property line.
    “It’s all mine!”—”No, it’s mine!”
    Ask Iraq and Kuwait what ensued.

  37. A man was involved in a feud
    for behaving totally lewd
    the cops came arresting
    as he was protesting
    and the crowd stood there and booed

  38. Fred says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    his actions were obscene and lewd
    For all due to oil
    money became his foil
    and now he’s known as crude

  39. scott says:

    A guy was involved in a feud,
    ‘bout the way Marijuana is viewed.
    Then he took a puff,
    of the wonderful stuff,
    and changed his whole attitude.

  40. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mitt Romney’s concerned that our feud
    With Russia’s been far too subdued.
    (When lost in the thicket,
    Nostalgia’s the ticket.)
    The cold war is history, dude!

  41. brian miller says:

    a shrink was involved in a feud
    with a couple so terribly rude
    at night he snores
    in the sack she’s a bore
    & he got sick envisioning them nude

  42. Patrick says:

    A gal was involved in a feud:
    her father-in-law had been rude.
    He’d looked down her shirt
    and then up her skirt
    and declared his son was The DUDE!

    P.S.: Long time, no?

  43. Zane says:

    A man was involved in a feud,
    A maid in a bar, something lewd,
    He felt down her pants
    and found difference,
    That maid he had played was a dude.

  44. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mitt implies a strong country must feud;
    We must lead! (This means bully, be rude.)
    U.S power has bounds?
    Can’t start wars without grounds?
    Obama, you peace-loving prude!

  45. Carolyn Henly says:

    ‘Twas a Hatfield who started the feud,
    For his view of the world was too skewed:
    He adored Joy McCoy
    (Whose real name was Roy);
    His advances were rudely eschewed.

  46. Tim James says:

    A man was involved in a feud:
    At the carpenter curses he spewed!
    What was causing his bile?
    His wife’s sated smile
    (With the luster of hard wood imbued).

  47. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    Two businessmen called off their feud
    When they realized it’s not very shrewd
    To compete in the market
    When instead you can shark it—
    In short, they laid plans to collude.

  48. Granny Smith says:

    A gal was involved in a feud
    With a horsey guy, one who had wooed
    Her to be his new bride.
    She had snorted, replied
    “I would rather be bridled and shoed!”

  49. Mark Kane says:

    Wry Biden engaged in a feud,
    And smiled as Paul Ryan just stewed.
    Staying happy and mellow,
    He filleted this young fellow,
    And showed of the two who was shrewd.

  50. Tim James says:

    I got in a bit of a feud
    When with exiting traffic I queued.
    I moved over one lane
    Which made someone insane.
    I heard myself loudly “F.U.”ed.

  51. Dr. Goose says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    With a rival he thought to be rude
    For rolling of eyes
    At all of the lies
    To voters he sought to delude.

  52. Dr. Goose says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    When his play was unkindly reviewed:
    “The critics on Broadway
    Have rather an odd way
    With Shakespeare performed in the nude.”

  53. Dr. Goose says:

    A lady got into a feud
    With a stylist she angrily sued:
    “Though I paid the admission
    For her to condition,
    I only was set and shampooed.”

  54. Dr. Goose says:

    The high school was wracked by a feud
    Between chicks who both liked the same dude.
    At such times, your teen girls
    Will turn into mean girls,
    Researchers are bound to conclude.

  55. Dr. Goose says:

    A street vendor started a feud
    With his neighboring vendor, Abboud:
    “To most, your felafel
    Is smelling so awful,
    They no want my Mexican food.”

  56. Dr. Goose says:

    Bibi got into a feud
    With Barack on account of Mahmoud:
    “We must set a deadline,
    As well as a redline
    Beyond which the Persians are screwed.”

  57. Rachael says:

    A man was involved in a feud
    Over the new ‘do his wife debuted.
    His word choice was poor,
    Now his bed’s on the floor
    ‘Til his sense of style’s less skewed.

  58. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners! Limerick of the Week 83.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun, for a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Refined Limerick.