Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STAY at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STAY at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SCIENCE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best science-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 29, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 28, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A litigant seeking a stay
Of an order was told “There’s no way
That you’re getting relief.
You’ve no grounds for your beef,
So the meat of this order is NAY!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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68 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STAY at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Ian Graham says:

    Though straitlaced, she said, “Well, OK.
    “We’ll play – once I’ve loosened my stay.”
    Said he in a daze:
    “I suppose you mean ‘stays’?”
    She said, “No, just the one for today.”

  2. David Reddekopp says:

    I’ll dust off this one from a couple years ago…

    Though the general public may doze on
    CERN’s search for new particles goes on
    Their scientist squadrons
    Are all getting hadrons
    Because they’ve discovered a boson.

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    The last guest would NOT go away;
    We were knackered, our faces were grey.
    At last I said “June,
    Do come again soon –
    But perhaps when you’ve less time to stay.”

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    He invited the bimbo to stay
    For the night. She replied “Well, okay;
    But I need to be sure
    You don’t think I’m a whore.”
    “Don’t worry”, he said, “I won’t pay.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    They’d run out of poison that day,
    So the Governor ordered a stay.
    “Execution can wait;
    We’re a kind-hearted state.
    An inhumane killing? No way!”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    Although I’m not keen on ballet,
    In the end, I decided to stay.
    She was turning me on,
    That sweet little swan;
    Was a ‘pas de deux’ coming my way?

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    Now please be a good boy and stay,
    I know it’s hard; I’m gone all day.
    Please don’t go berserk
    I must go to work!
    Stop looking that pitiful way.

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    If you will just promise to stay,
    I’ll do all you ask every day.
    Hell, who am I kidding,
    I won’t do your bidding!
    On second thought, just go away.

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    He fumbled to open each stay
    Of her corset. She looked so risque
    He lost all control
    And went straight for her hole,
    Much to the fine lady’s dismay.

  10. Marty Gerendasy says:

    She begged of me, “don’t go away,
    ‘Cause I really would like you to stay.”
    What followed was pleasure
    That was too great to measure,
    And for once I did not have to pay!

  11. Raphael Harris says:

    There once was a fellow named Jay,
    Who acted exceedingly gay,
    He won’t mind when folks,
    Make off-color jokes,
    But screams when his hairdo won’t stay.

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    I prayed that he would stay
    For one more erotic day
    But the very next morning
    Without forewarning
    He left with my hedgehog Clay

  13. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hydrogen and oxygen make water
    That’ what I taught my daughter
    But she had a spree
    And used too much part “B”
    Now she is 3 inches shorter

  14. Dave Johnson says:

    The scientist wrote many theses
    On cloning unusual species.
    What challenged the most
    Was right-wing talk host;
    For that one, you’d have to use feces.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    After service I want you to stay;
    We’ll worship in a different way.
    We’ll partake of wine,
    Feel elation divine
    When you kneel down it won’t be to pray.

  16. Randy Wagner says:

    Repartee, cabernet and filet:
    A tripartite array of foreplay.
    The intent is overt.
    She’s the tasty dessert
    If you say, “My dear Faye, may I stay?”

  17. Randy Wagner says:

    A dyslexic science ditty about CERN’s LHC:

    Inside the Large Hadron Collider,
    A saucy technician, Frau Schneider,
    Knew hadrons weren’t deft
    And a boson lacked heft.
    Bosom bared, she put hardons inside her.

  18. Lisi Nortman says:


    We allowed the lovely couple to stay
    Even though they were “that way”
    Some people are queer
    But we have no fear
    Just because they wear a toupee

  19. Lisi Nortman says:


    Hydrogen and oxygen make water
    That’s what I taught my daughter
    But she had a spree
    And used too much “part B”
    Now she is 3 inches shorter

  20. Randy Wagner says:

    Calm compliance and knowledge will pay
    When you’re careful, alert and you stay
    In line, put, alive,
    Awake to false jive,
    And abreast of what leads one astray.

  21. Randy Wagner says:

    A dilemmical gal from Calais
    Told a suitor to leave and to stay.
    This led him to ask,
    “What’s the trick to this task?”
    She replied, “It’s a cinch: stay away!”

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    Complained Watson: “I hate the way SHE licks,
    And why call a female cat Felix?”
    Said Crick, “My dear Watson,
    “Your dog has got spots on,
    And what a daft name – Double Helix!”

  23. Marty Gerendasy says:

    The mad doctor, at work in the lab,
    With a body laid out on a slab,
    Tried to find a new brain
    But the search was in vain,
    And today the poor doc’s in rehab.

  24. Dave Johnson says:

    The right wing’s aversion to science
    Goes back to one simple alliance:
    Conservative rules;
    They’ll just listen to fools
    Whose findings have met their compliance.

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    (Science – an old one)

    It was finished! He turned on the switch
    Saying “Let there be light!” Just one hitch:
    Creation was tiring,
    He’d screwed up the wiring –
    The Universe stayed black as pitch.

  26. Brian Allgar says:

    (Science – another old one)

    “How on earth did I pick up the clap?”
    She beseeched a young medical chap.
    “If you really don’t know,”
    He said, “Well, let me show
    You this human anatomy map.”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    (… and another)

    Einstein did all the sums on a slate,
    And his findings he had to relate:
    “As I’m sure you’ll agree,
    EM² = C,
    And the meaning of this is … oh, wait!”

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    Creationists place great reliance
    On bibles, and little on science.
    As they slurp countless beers,
    They say “Six thousand years
    Is the world’s age!” with drunken defiance.

  29. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the judge to the hooker “Okay;
    You’ve been charged, but I’ll give you a stay.
    You’re a good girl at heart,
    And you need a fresh start;
    In my chambers, I’ll show you the way.”

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    MAY 16TH, 2016

    The first penile transplant was performed today
    I hope to God that it will stay
    If the patient coughs
    It might fall off
    And wander into Johnson’s Cafe

  31. Randy Wagner says:

    In reply to Lisi Nortman:

    “A seminal feat” is cliche,
    But it’s surely an opportune way
    To describe this bold deed.
    He’s now hung like a steed
    With a porno star’s power to stay.

    Actually, the first penile transplant occurred in South Africa in 2014. This is the first U.S. attempt.

  32. Barry Solomons says:


    A prisoner in Guantanamo Bay
    Was seen to be filled with dismay,
    Saying the continued denial
    To receive a fair trial
    Was extending the length of his stay.


    Limerick ref:…SCIENCE

    When Albert Einstein declared
    That time and space must be shared,
    It took a lot of persuasion
    To accept his equation
    That e = mc2.

  33. Tim James says:

    My gal’s faithful and true and won’t stray
    And she’s there at the end of the day
    With a warm, loving kiss.
    In addition to this,
    She can sit, fetch, roll over and stay.

  34. Barry Solomons says:


    An atheist in Chesapeake Bay
    Was desperate for somewhere to stay,
    But he thought it most odd
    To receive this message from God,
    ‘If you need a room, let us pray.’

  35. Randy Wagner says:

    A nursery rhyme revisited:

    On a tuffet Miss Muffet would stay
    Calmly eating her curds and her whey,
    But a spider appeared.
    In a jiffy it cleared
    Muffet’s butt from the tuffet that day.

  36. Dave Johnson says:

    The mad scientist was perturbed.
    His latest invention disturbed
    Everybody in sight;
    He assumed that he might
    Pull the plug so the fuss could be curbed.

    But by then, he no longer held sway;
    His monster decided to stay.
    With help from Wasilla,
    The beast named Trumpzilla
    Is everyone’s nightmare today.

  37. Randy Wagner says:

    Another tale from the tuffet:

    When that plucky Miss Muffet would stay
    On the tuffet, the spider would say,
    “If you choose to remain,
    Let me clearly explain:
    Spiders bite! Go ahead, make my day.”

  38. Dave Johnson says:

    To Randy Wagner:

    Little Miss Muffet asked “What is this tuffet
    Their claiming I sat on all day?”
    The spider beside her
    Began to deride her:
    “They call it a fat ass today.”

  39. Randy Wagner says:

    Dave Johnson, sometimes you shouldn’t mess with Miss Muffet:

    “That is what Dirty Harry would say,”
    Countered Muffet, determined to stay.
    With the .44 Mag
    That she kept in her bag
    She then blew the poor spider away.

  40. Dave Johnson says:

    Fair enough, Randy. However…

    Little Miss Muffett’s reliance
    On something that ain’t rocket science
    Has settled the score;
    But wait! Eighty more
    Arachnids protest its appliance.

  41. Mary McGarvey says:

    A justice involved individual
    Got bored with his life as a “criminal”.
    He switched to witchery
    Now he sells backyard herbs as “medicinal”.

  42. Mary McGarvey says:

    Miss Muffet went to Iraq to play
    Tourist in a place where Kurds waylay.
    She wasn’t diplomatic
    As she cocked her automatic:
    “Boy I hate it when these Kurds get in my way!”

  43. Randy Wagner says:

    To Mary:

    She dispatched all the Kurds in her way
    With aplomb, then decided to stay
    In the North of Iraq
    As she brought awe and shock
    To her tuffet and into the fray.

  44. Randy Wagner says:

    Dave, escalation was inevitable…

    Miss Muffet, a student of science,
    Expected the spiders’ defiance.
    From her tuffet she spewed
    All the napalm she’d brewed
    As she torched the arachnid alliance.

  45. Tim James says:

    “Evolution is fact!” said the right.
    “Climate science? We’ve now seen the light!”
    After that, Heidi Klum
    Showed up, nude, in my room.
    ‘Twas one hell of a dream Friday night.

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    When you command your dog to “stay”
    He should be obliging and obey
    But when you leave home
    Your pet will never roam
    Unless you remember to say “okay”

  47. Mark Kane says:

    After hours of sex acts risqué,
    He added a day to their stay.
    They could dine and get rest,
    Then with even more zest,
    Continue their passionate play.

  48. Judith H. Block says:

    When one’s faith is in reason and science,
    One’s faced with religious defiance.
    Copernicus detested;
    Galileo arrested
    For defying religious compliance.

  49. Judith H. Block says:

    This really hot guy studied science;
    He had a large, tempting appliance.
    It was more than his brain
    That drove women insane
    And led to their willing compliance.

  50. Lisi Nortman says:


    Don’t sit home with a gloomy face
    Do something different for a change of pace
    Go to the Adler
    Don’t be a straggler
    And dream in a world of outerspace

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    Don’t sit home with a gloomy face
    Do something different for a change of pace
    Go to the aquarium
    Instead of the planetarium
    And jump right in till you’re blue in the face

  52. Lisi Nortman says:


    Hubby and I HAD a good sex life
    I was submissive and very docile
    Paleontology’s his gig
    He loves to dig
    But last week he called me a fossil

  53. Fred Bortz says:

    Resubmitting an entry from March, then as an education exercise and this time for a science theme:


    The physicists had a huge spat
    In their quantum entanglement chat.
    One delivered this lesson:
    “If you are caught messin’,
    You’ll end up like Schrödinger’s cat.”

    Then Heisenberg entered the fray.
    “I’m uncertain it’s true what you say.
    You have no compunction
    To use your wave function.
    My matrices carry the day.”

    Was one of them on the right track?
    I admit I was taken aback
    When Pauli was puzzled
    And both men were muzzled.
    He said, “We must query Dirac.”

    “Let’s add Relativity here,”
    The Englishman said to a cheer.
    But his math raised a clatter.
    “What is this? Antimatter?
    Outlandish, and yet it is clear.”

    The squabbling continues today.
    Quantum weirdness is true, come what may.
    The results provide traction.
    That famed “spooky action”
    That Einstein decried won’t go ‘way.

  54. Fred Bortz says:

    A trip to the dark side. Please forgive me. :)

    A “fabulous” drag queen would say,
    “My very large organ must stay.
    It earns me a ten
    When I’m bedded by men
    Who joyously find that I’m gay.”

  55. Lisi Nortman says:

    If you have ever had a hospital stay
    You can push that BUTTON forever and a day
    You feel like a jerk
    It just doesn’t work
    Then the hearse comes and takes you away

  56. Barry Solomons says:

    Limerick-Off….STAY + SCIENCE

    Knowing it would be foolish to stay,
    Schrodinger’s cat ran away.
    While it kept hidden from sight
    No one knew of its plight,
    Was it dead or alive…who could say?

  57. Michael Blum says:

    Whilst I go? Perhaps I’ll stay.
    On Madeleine’s court once more to play.
    To make a pun?
    Oh words are Fun!
    But can I win? This horse says “neigh.”

  58. Nate Levin says:

    Is the Trump-plaque one destined to stay,
    Or will voters yet drive it away?
    Well for now there is fear–
    The risk’s so very clear–
    Will electoral doom have its day?

  59. Tim James says:

    She had wanted the farmhand to stay
    In the barn for a roll in the hay.
    Then she cringed in disgust:
    He was covered in dust.
    It’s a truism: grime doesn’t pay.

  60. Byron Miller aka Errol Nimbly says:

    When the farmhand suggested she stay
    In the barn for a roll in the hay,
    She said, “Sit on my stool
    And I’ll straddle your tool–
    I can finish the milking that way.”

  61. Allen Wilcox says:

    The redneck was humping away,
    But his thingamabob wouldn’t stay.
    The girl loudly wailed,
    And the police had him jailed.
    Said he, “I guess cram doesn’t pay.”

  62. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Don’t drop out of school yet, just stay
    Less than one month to go, it’s still May
    You’ll soon get your diploma
    And smell the aroma –
    Of future success on the way.

  63. Suzanne Heymann says:

    In the morning quite early one day
    She ran off and just wouldn’t stay
    And when he awoke
    He found out he was broke
    For she’d taken his wallet away.

  64. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The roof of his cabriolet
    Got stuck on a cold rainy day
    She’d fret, get upset
    As her hairdo got wet
    And he just couldn’t get her to stay.

    A convertible’s only okay
    If the sun in the sky’s on display
    But if snow, rain or ice
    Comes, then take my advice
    Get her flowers and nice lingerie.

  65. Suzanne Heymann says:

    He walked to the door, then halfway
    Stopped and turned; he decided to stay
    Though she’s homely as hell
    His darn thingy did swell
    And he needed relief right away.

    So you ask, why’s he there anyway?
    ‘Cause her cooking’s the best, so they say
    He’ll just drink one more shooter
    So that she’ll look cuter
    Drank one more, then started to play.

    He’s just using her any which way
    And the pill, she forgot it that day
    Oh-oh, here comes baby
    And surely, not maybe
    Pay child support buddy, touché!

  66. Suzanne Heymann says:

    It’s all scientifically proven
    That if you keep dancin’ and groovin’
    Good health will increase
    And the blues will decease
    And you might get a piece, so start movin’!

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I don’t understand all the science
    Of how some people get to be giants
    Well, I know I can’t lose
    If I sell real big shoes
    And that’s why I have plenty of clients.

  68. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Science-Themed Limerick Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick-Off Award 253.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Press.